Story 8 - 'Something in the Wind'
or 'A Younger Sailor Uranus'
Haruka wandered around the halls of the new school. It was not the
first time she had been "The new girl" but she knew it wouldn't be the
last. Her parents were constantly in motion, they could never get
enough excitement if they stayed in one place too long. For years,
Haruka had been "The new girl" as her parents trucked her around the
world to appease their own selfish impulses. But they were in Rome now,
and Haruka in Japan.
Haruka was very proud of herself, finally gaining the nerve to tell her father she didn't want to move anymore, that she wanted to go to a private boarding school until high school. She had been very surprised by his positive reaction. He had always been hard on his only child, attempting to make her strong, but only stifling her individuality and inner strength. Usually, he told his only child to "Keep a stiff upper lip." or "Bite that flapping tongue!" It was very hard to get her voice heard, as it seemed to be lost in the air between her and her parents. They just never heard her or understood what she was asking. It was very frustrating and for a long time Haruka had stopped trying to make them understand. She was so proud of this success and she was already steeling herself for her next move. What she wanted to do was stop playing the piano.
Haruka turned and walked toward the music room, looking at the map in her hands every now and again, thinking about the piano. She had been playing ever since she could remember and even before that. Her mother had wanted her to at least be an "accomplished young lady" which encompassed the instrumental field. Thus she was taught the piano dutifully by her talented mother. It was simple enough since she had known it all her life. Her fingers would fly over the keys, bringing her momentary joy . . . or at least it did last year, but it no longer did. She just felt dead inside playing lately, there was no thrill, no enjoyment, just the mindless pressing of keys in succession. She only did it because her parents wouldn't hear of doing otherwise.
She looked up to the door of the music room, the name embossed above the door in white characters. Sighing, she pushed open the door and looked around at the pre-rehearsal chaos. The energy in the room thrilled her as she watched one girl running down an isle, jumping the corner of a chair and heading to a smaller room where some instruments were visible. The wind caused by girl's speed tousled Haruka's hair, stirring long-hidden emotions inside of her. Maybe that's it, she thought, carefully fighting her way to the piano in the corner. Maybe I want to be UN-lady-like.
Finally reaching the piano, Haruka put the music folders she had been
protecting on the stand and straightened her school uniform pants. She
was tall for her age, not very surprisingly. But what had surprised her
was the lack of school uniforms available in her size. She had then
suggested they just give her the male uniform: she must wear something
appropriate to school and she had no problem with it. It was only a
uniform she had pointed out practically. She'd been happy they listened
to her and gave her the green, brown and gold uniform. Haruka then put
her school jacket on carelessly, unconsciously hiding the length of
braided hair her mother insisted on her keeping, even if she wore the
boys' uniform.
She sat down and watched the chaos, motionless herself from years of
strict practice. Hoping that the waiting would end soon, she eyed the
teacher carefully.
The teacher had finally maintained an amount of attention in the room.
"Class, class! We have finally found a student to accompany us on the
piano. This is Tenoh Haruka, who just moved here from London. Tenoh,
would you like to greet the class?"
She sighed inwardly, this wasn't a request, so she stood up.
"Hello everyone, I'm Tenoh Haruka. I just moved back here from London,
I was born here in Japan, but my family has moved all over the world. I
like playing field hockey and the piano." With her part of the
formalities finished, she sat back down and allowed her mind to wander.
Field hockey was the only sport that her parents let her play, and she
was pretty good too. It was so freeing to play it. She could feel the
wind stirring when she did, whipping through her hair. It almost felt
like she had a natural instinct for the game. Almost, there was still
something more, something better, something she still had to find that
would be the real freedom of her life. She didn't know what instilled
this desire to look for something better, she just instinctively knew
there was more. Her attention was drawn back to the room, when the
teacher recognized a student from the back corner.
"Yes Henru-chan?" He said, the boy spoke up.
"Yeah, new kids' gonna play wit' us, but can 'e play!" The boy asked sneeringly. Haruka's face flushed, not with shame but with anger, of course she could play! The teacher was just about to answer back when he was interrupted.
Haruka had lifted the lid on the piano silently and begun to play a very fast and complex piece by Chopin, stunning the room full of students with her ability. Her fingers flew over the keys, a thrill shot through her, not from the playing but from the challenge that she had beaten. The boy had challenged her ability, and she had stood up to it. Finishing the piece with a flourish, she cut off and threw an arrogant look to the challenger who only stared in response. It occured to her now that this boy must play himself and thought his playing better than hers. Her look became slightly more haughty as she realized he knew she was superior to him. She tossed her head back defiantly, knowing the boy must be seething inside. Haruka smiled triumphantly.
After school, Haruka began to walk to the dorm room where she was staying when she was cornered by a larger boy. "Henru-chan! is this the one?" He called to a friend. The boy from the music room came over, followed by two more boys. He smiled menacingly. Haruka tipped her chin up to show that his attitude wouldn't intimidate her.
"Yeah, this is the little snob that made a fool a' me in music class! And now, you're gonna pay!" He cracked his knuckles and his friends began to close in on her. Her heartbeat began to race and her adrenaline surged forward. She managed to avoid the first attack, and quickly returned the jab, hitting her opponent in the jaw. She felt a gust of breezy wind toying with the collar of her jacket. Henru backed off momentarily, but the larger boy attacked her, throwing Haruka to the ground, she rolled out of the way as he moved to attack her from his offensive position. Something about the air around her seemed familiar.
She stood up, realizing there was some natural instinct in her for this,
something she had never felt before in her sheltered life. She and the
larger boy circled a little, the wind brushing past them, pulling at
Haruka's hair. She clumsily knocked him away when he threw a badly
timed punch at her. The feelings, the air of the battleground felt
natural enough, but she realized that this was all. It simply felt
familiar. It wouldn't be enough to save her here. One of the other boys
caught her from behind and held her while Henru took out his wrath. She
refused to scream as he bloodied her nose, preferring to glare at him
solidly. The boy finally let go of her and she whirled on him, punching
him in the nose also.
The wind pulled at her small frame fiercely, finally freeing her braid from the jacket's hold. It danced in the wind momentarily. One of the other boys kicked her feet from under her and they began to kick her as she curled against their attacks.
"STOP!" Someone cried out, Haruka was now kneeling against a wall, her arms wrapped around her defensively. She didn't bother to look up, but she knew it wasn't a teacher. "Do you guys have any manners at all? What's wrong with you! Can't you see you were beating on a girl?" The female yelled. As her gender was stated clearly, Haruka felt everyone take a step back. She then felt the approach of one of the boys. She glared up at him, through her bangs as he studied her face carefully. The air slid past easily, drawing attention to the braid that now flapped slightly in the wind.
"She's right," He said softly, "It's a girl." Anger shot through Haruka. Sick of the games and confusion she tore away from the crowd, darting to a bathroom. Yet all the while she was shrouded by a mist of confusion.
She pinched the bridge of her nose to stop the bleeding and the washed
off her face and hands, also running her hands under the water to ease
the pain caused by her own punches. After she was clean to her
satisfaction, Haruka looked at herself through her bangs in the mirror.
She had fooled them all she thought, only now realizing they had
thought her truly male. The idea shocked her as she put on her jacket,
hiding the braid again.
She was about to pull her braid loose, but stopped, studying her reflection. She turned her head a little, noticing for the first time her own features without the long hair to specify her gender. It was then that she realized the effects of the unconscious action she had taken when putting on her jacket in the music room. . . . Her eyes began to water.
She didn't want their pity or their wrath, she just wanted to be left
alone. To do something she wanted to do, that something she knew was
there, that was still out there. It felt like she had always done what
her parents had wanted, what her teachers wanted, but it hadn't been
enough, it wasn't her! Not on the inside and she knew it! Tears dripped
down her face. She wanted to be stronger than that, but she couldn't.
Her parents had stifled her, so the moment she felt like something was
right, she didn't have the endurance or training to follow through. She
didn't want that girl sticking up for her, she had always had to do
everything herself from her parents' neglect and didn't lean on anyone.
She didn't want to have to lean on anyone.
Idly, Haruka wished to be like the wind, no one could hurt the wind, flying passed you without fear, shape or size. It was invincible and strong. Both subtle and very loud. And it never could be hurt or made to cry.
Vowing to herself that she would change, that she'd be stronger, that no one would stop her from being her ever again, that she'd become the wind. . . she broke down into sobs. They wracked her body as she sat in the corner hugging her legs to her chest tightly, shaking as the heartwrenching tears streamed down her face. Dripping onto her pantlegs, soaking them in her tears. The nine year old couldn't take the shame, she had run away. Just like any other spineless young girl. Her sobs began to quiet as she sniffled loudly in the empty bathroom.
"But next time . . . next time . . ." She vowed to the bathroom, brushing away the offensive tears, "Just wait til then . . ."
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