CHAPTER 16 : Change of plans
01/03/2019
"Hey."
"Aah!"
Clarke startled – or more like literally jumped a few feet away from Bellamy, who'd just come out of fucking nowhere.
"Dammit," she swore.
She'd been waiting for him for half an hour, not far from the café they used to go to. He wasn't late, she was just very anxious and couldn't stand to stay in that house for another minute, so she'd left early.
Clarke didn't hear Bellamy coming. She was distracted by a stupid Instagram post when he leaned down to whisper in her ear the very simple word that scared the shit out of her.
She stared accusingly at him, as his smile widened. He looked pleased with himself.
"Sorry," he said, not even trying to sound convincing.
Clarke crossed her arms and frowned, pissed off. She watched as Bellamy pressed his lips together and as his cheeks reddened, trying to contain his laugh.
"Not funny," Clarke said.
Bellamy shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. He cleared his throat and tried to put on a serious face. He almost succeeded – he couldn't quite stop grinning. Clarke bit the inside of her cheeks to keep herself from smiling. She would not give him that victory.
"Sorry," he repeated, actually meaning it this time.
Clarke waited for a few seconds, then shrugged.
"It's okay," she said, unfolding her arms.
She rolled her eyes, to show him she wasn't actually angry at him. He didn't say anything, he just kept smiling. And looking at her. For a bit too long. Clarke didn't move, didn't look away. But Bellamy did.
"So, how about that coffee?" he said, putting his hands in his pockets.
Clarke was suddenly reminded of the reason they were supposed to meet in the first place – more questions, more answers to give. And one, vivid memory of the other night and what Bellamy had told her, 'I saw you. At the hospital.'
She needed… she wanted to talk about it. But, she was absolutely terrified.
She followed Bellamy, as he headed to the café, only a street away. She watched his face, trying to understand. Did he remember telling her that? Did he know what it all meant? What did he remember of her visit, exactly?
The worst part of all of this was the realization that he'd known about this from the beginning of their little meetings. It made so much sense now – of course he would insist to know more about her. She'd come to visit him at the hospital, and he didn't even know who she was.
Clarke was surprised he even recalled that, it had been so brief. She'd stayed only for a minute, just enough time to lock eyes with him.
And see the confusion in his eyes.
She remembers the pain she felt, because she'd been hoping it was all a lie. He had to remember her.
But he didn't.
"Shit," Bellamy said.
He stopped, and so did Clarke.
"What is it?" she asked.
Bellamy was rummaging through his bag, frowning.
"I thought…"
He kept looking, getting a few things out of his bag and holding them however he could – with his left hand, or his lips, or in between his legs. Clarke helped hold a few things as she waited, a bit confused. Finally, he gave up and sighed, letting go of his bag, which hanged on his side. With his free hand, he took the papers caught between his pressed lips.
"I forgot the drawings," he declared, clearly upset.
"Oh."
Bellamy energetically put all of his things back into his bag, sighing.
"It's fine. We can j-"
"Change of plans," Bellamy interrupted her.
He straightened up, as he took his keys from her hand.
"We're going to my apartment," he declared, determined.
Clarke froze.
"What?"
Bellamy had already turned his back on her, and was on his way. Clarke caught up with him.
"Bellamy, it's no big deal…"
"Yes, it is."
"Hey," she said, grabbing his arms and forcing him to stop. "Look at me."
She had to physically struggle to get him to stop moving, using her body as a weight. He clenched his jaw, but did as she said. Their faces were close, but she didn't flinch.
"I'll tell you what you want, Bellamy. With or without those drawings." she told him, firmly.
She couldn't believe she'd actually said that.
Bellamy seemed to relax, just a little.
"I know. But it's important to me, Claire." he said, his voice soft.
She wanted to insist they should go to the café, but with him being so close, and looking at her like this… she was suddenly at a loss for of words. Her heartbeat accelerated, and for a second, she was Clarke Griffin and he was Bellamy Blake, and they were back in her workshop, with paint on her face and ink on his fingers. And he remembered her. He…
Clarke stepped away from him, looking down.
"Okay," she only said.
Bellamy remained silent long enough for Clarke to wonder what he was thinking.
"Thank you," he finally said, almost like a whisper, and started walking again.
At that very moment, thunder roared, and Clarke felt in her whole body.
"It's about to rain," she said.
She was kinda hoping it would convince Bellamy to stay at the café. The truth was, she wasn't sure she was ready to spend an entire afternoon at his place, just the two of them. It wasn't the same at Monty and Harper's house. It didn't feel so… personal.
"We're not far," Bellamy said, unfazed.
15/01/2016
"It's pouring, out there. You sure you wanna head home now?" Clarke asked Bellamy, as she looked out the window.
Drops of water were cascading down the glass, obscuring the view. The sound of the rain falling invaded the apartment within a minute. Clarke turned the light on, as the room seemed suddenly darker.
Bellamy shrugged, slumped in his chair, as if he'd lost all energy.
"Yeah… I don't know," he said, hesitating.
Clarke sat on his desk, just next to him, her legs hanging in the air.
"You can wait until it calms down. We can order something to eat," she suggested.
It was convenient for the both of them. Bellamy didn't have to face this terrible weather, and Clarke didn't have to eat dinner all alone, as she often did. She liked being alone, sometimes it was all she wanted, but it felt also good to have someone to talk to. She missed that, a bit. Also, she knew nobody was waiting for Bellamy to get home. Gina was gone for almost two weeks, and Bellamy seemed to avoid his place more than ever, probably to forget her absence. Clarke had seen him more in two weeks than she had within an entire month.
Bellamy sighed, but with a small smile in the corner of his mouth.
"Okay," he said.
Clarke got on her feet, excited.
"Great. Let's go downstairs."
~oOo~
They ordered sushi.
Or more like, Clarke ordered, and Bellamy spent 15 minutes observing Clarke's full shelf of DVDs.
"You have so many. It's quite impressive," he said, still scanning the titles of each of them.
Clarke smiled, coming closer to him. She pointed to a row with a bunch of movies from the 70s and 80s.
"Most of them are my dad's. He loved cinema. Some weekends we spent our days watching one movie after another. Some of them I've seen like a hundred times."
"He loved science fiction, I see," Bellamy noticed.
Clarke nodded.
"And cowboys. It's too bad there wasn't a film about both, he would've been hysterical. Hey, that's a great idea for your book. Cowboys in space."
Bellamy laughed.
"I'll keep that in mind."
His eyes finally reached the bottom of the shelf, where all of Clarke's favorite movies were.
"I guess that's yours," he said.
"You guess well." Clarke smiled.
He leaned down to pick up the Harry Potter box, with all eight films in it.
"I have to tell you something," he said as he straightened up, his face suddenly very serious.
Clarke frowned.
"What is it?"
Bellamy turned towards her, staring intensely at her.
"I never watched a Harry Potter movie in its entirety," he declared, his voice low.
Clarke gaped at him for a few seconds, in shock. For some reason, she always assumed he was a fan of the series.
"What? Not even one?"
"Not even one," Bellamy said, apologetically.
Clarke crossed her arms.
"This is a scandal. A betrayal," she told him, offended.
Bellamy grinned.
"Yeah, yeah. I know who dies. Or, what they look like. I also know there's, like, ten people with a name that ends with 'us'. Sirius, Albus, Magnus, Augustus…"
Clarke rolled her eyes.
"At least you know two names out of ten," she laughed.
She took the box from his hands.
"We're doing a binge watch. Tonight," she decided, because it was a duty.
~oOo~
"What if I'm Slytherin… Aren't Slytherins evil?" Bellamy asked her lazily, his eyes closing and opening repeatedly, as if he was struggling to keep them open.
They'd just started the Goblet of Fire, and had kinda lost track of time.
"Hey! I'm a Slytherin!" Clarke objected.
Bellamy opened his eyes widely, and closed him again before he spoke.
"You are…?"
"Slytherins aren't all evil, it's a cliché. We're cunning. And just as ambitious as Gryffindors, but at least we admit it."
Bellamy snorted.
"So… you're saying… I'm Gryffindor?" he asked, the words coming out slowly.
"Yeah… Or maybe Hufflepuff. Probably a bit of both."
"What's Haflefuf…?"
"It's the kindest, most loyal people. It's truly underrated, in my opinion. People tend to say they're idiots, but I don't agree. We need more Hufflepuff in life. And I actually think you could fit in this house, 'cause you're v-"
Clarke was interrupted by the feeling of Bellamy's head falling on her shoulder. She didn't dare to move, taken by surprised. She listened to his even breathing, concluding he'd just fallen asleep right there and then, deciding she would be comfortable enough to sleep on. She smiled. He'd been listening to her debating about his Hogwarts house for half an hour, even though he didn't really care. He'd probably resisted sleep until he couldn't anymore.
Clarke tried to move as slowly as possible, careful not to move his head from her shoulder, as she reached for the remote and turned the TV off. She twitched her nose as his black curls tickled her face. She resisted laughing when she turned her head just enough to see the pout on his lips – he looked like a baby deeply sleeping. It was cute. Too cute, because she didn't have the heart to disturb him. But, what was she supposed to do ? It was 2am, and he was way too tired to get home, even if she was driving. Well, if he minded staying over he'd have left earlier, she told herself. Maybe she shouldn't let him on the couch for the night though, even if she wished she could spend the night with his head on her shoulder.
Clarke frowned and shook her hand. She didn't mean that. Of course, she would wake him up, and spend the night in her own room. Far from him.
She straightened. Bellamy's head fell, and handed up on her legs. He barely grumbled.
'Great', she thought.
Now the situation had gotten worse. Clarke was'nt thinking about what they could look like, from the outside. She was'nt thinking she'd like for him to fall asleep like this every day, nope.
She was not.
"Bell, wake up," she whispered, determined to put an end to this awkward moment.
"Mmhhh…"
She shook his shoulders. His head shook on her legs, too, his black curls all over the place.
"C'mon. You can't sleep here. You'd regret it."
Her couch truly wasn't the place to take a nap, her back had learned that pretty quickly.
Bellamy wasn't moving, nor responding.
Clarke sighed. She got up suddenly, Bellamy almost falling on the floor as he was propelled from his spot. That, at least, seemed to partially wake him. He moaned and grumbled things Clarke couldn't understand, but he didn't sound pleased.
"You left me no choice," she felt the need to explain, knowing he probably wasn't listening anyway.
Before he could settle back comfortably in the couch, she took his arm with her two hands and tried to get him on his feet. She was suddenly reminded of her struggle during the first night she'd brought him here. He was so heavy.
"C'mon, you gotta help me there…"
Bellamy straightened up a bit, probably more because he was disturbed in his sleep than because he complying to Clarke's request.
"What…?" he murmured.
"I gotta get you up there."
It was difficult, and slow, and exhausting, but Bellamy did finally get up on his feet at some point. He held on to her and walked, half asleep, so it didn't feel as hard to walk up the stairs as it'd had been when he was drunk, that first night.
They'd barely reached the mattress when he literally collapsed on it, taking Clarke with him.
"Dammit," she swore.
She was stuck under him, half of his body pressing her against the mat, his lips almost touching her neck. Clarke shivered.
"For fuck's sake. I hate you," she grumbled, because he was asleep again anyway.
She pushed against his chest, hard, and got herself from under him, trying to ignore the feeling of his body against hers. She sighed, finally free of any physical touch with Bellamy Blake. Not that it was a big deal to touch him, obviously. Whatever. It wasn't like he was cute or anything. Or, you know, in a relationship.
Clarke got up from the mattress, shaking her head. As she made sure Bellamy was fully covered by the blankets, she swore to herself she'd never insist on watching all Harry Potter movies again.
