I do not own The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy yet, although I am making progress.

My cousins and a reviewer have pointed out I made a mistake in the first chapter when I said "his grandfather did die by getting ran over by a bulldozer-looking-SUV" and said in Britain they do not call them SUVs. To those people-Maybe they were in the US when his grandfather died. I know they did not have Halo 2 when the book was created, but let's just say this takes place right nowadays. Anyway, here is chapter 3.

The Worst Thursday

Chapter 3

"Where the hell am I?" said Brian out loud as if some random person was next to him and could hear him and actually gave a damn about his opinions.

The toilet was gold. It might have been the real "Heart of gold", since it was near the middle of the ship.

He got out of the toilet and looked around. The room was decorated with green fluffy blankets and whimsical little things to look at while using the toilet. Next to the toilet was a crystal sink.

He was drawn to a little fluffy orange pillow on the floor, and slowly walked towards it. He reached out his hand, as if to simply touch it…it seemed to be 127,865,234,865.82 miles away. The pillow started to shake, more and more the closer his hand came. He finally touched it.

It was soft.

It also has nothing to do with anything or everything or something or any other thing that ends with a "thing" thing.

There was no door in this room. No hallway. No opening. No digital watches. No video games. No Pamela Anderson. No party. No food. No drugs. No kitty cat. No beer. No large gold boxes marked with "?" on them. No water. No Halo 2. No nudie mags. No nothing.

He heard a happy voice announce the arrival of two hitchhiker's, but he did not care.

And so Brian remained in the dark room for 3 days. He was so thirsty he drank up all the toilet water, which was surprisingly not even a gallon. He spent these days thinking if this room was heaven, or if it was hell. He guessed it was heaven since when he flushed the toilet he could see not just his poo swirling out of control, but he could also see the vastness of space.

He opened the cabinet-thing under the sink.

"How could I be so damn stupid!" he said to himself and the toilet which was always there to comfort him for the last 3 and a half days.

Under the sink, was his small chance of living. His small chance of continuing to fight life's many kicks in the ass.

Under the sink, was an escape pod.