I do not own The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, and have recently lost all hope of ever owning it. I do not own H2G2. This is a fan fiction,(hence the word, "fan").

The Worst Thursday

Chapter 5

Deep in the hitchhiker's guide's old articles is one that states something about time travel.

The hitchhiker's guide has this to say on Why Time Travel IS Possible:

'Now, the subject of time travel has always interested many people, but up until a few days ago, I didn't believe it was remotely possible. I always saw time travel to the past as something that could never happen mainly because the fact that anything anyone could have changed would have already happened. Think of it this way, say you wanted to go back in time and kill Hitler's mother before she gave birth to him. There is no way you could do this because, following the time flow, you would have already killed her and World War II wouldn't have happened. So there'd be no reason to go back. I believed this and argued vehemently with anyone who argued with me. Then I read a book called "Time Travel in Einstein's Universe" by J. Richard Gott. Reading this book makes you feel like a first grader who is suddenly stuck in college. Yet Gott finds a way to make the book seem easy to understand. It was like he jumped into my head and said, "Hey! What about this?" In this book he spoke about a theroy called the Self-consistent Time Travel Theroy. According to this theroy, a time traveller couldn't change the past for anyone but himself. You may be saying, "Well now I can change that time when I was at the prom and a few jocks pantsed me in front of the entire student body." Nope. Sorry. Can't do that either. How could you change that without effecting the life of someone else? What if the jocks pantsed another person and their existence was utterly ruined? You could not change the past. Quickly I'd like to present a fun paradox called the Jinn Theroy. The name is derived from the term jinni which has now become genie. An example of this paradox is: Say you had a normal high school science book which outlines Newton's Laws of Gravity. You take this book and travel back in time and show Newton the book and his theories BEFORE he thinks of them. He writes down the theories from the book and they become what we know now. Where did they come from in the first place? How were they written in the science book if that's how he first thought of them? Hurts your brain after a while doesn't it? Now what about time travel to the future. Almost everyone knows about the Twins example but I'll talk about it anyway. Lets say there are two twins, Willy and Billy. Billy is an astronaut and he travels to Alpha Centauri at 80 percent the speed of light. it would take 5 light-years to arrive and another 5 to get back. On earth, Willy will age 10 years. Billy, however, only ages 6 years. This happens because on earth Willy's heart beats, say once a second. In space, travelling at 80 percent of light-speed, Billy's heart will beat slower. So when he returns Billy has actually travelled 4 years into the future. "Wait," you may be saying, "I don't want to go into space." Easy. Well, not really, but in theroy it's easy. You would have to deconstruct Jupiter and use it to make a superdense ball that you could sit inside. Outside of the ball, space-time will bend and you'll age much slower than people outside. Fun, huh? Unless you went too far and got out after the sun had gone supernova and all life on earth had been destroyed by huge fireballs. But fun.'

There may have been to much personal information in that article but there are some important things to notice-

The researcher was not good when it came to spelling "theory".

If you substitute Jupiter with an escape pod you may still get the same result.

He does not mention anything on wormholes, which could help right now.

Wormholes can also allow time travel, just on a more dangerous level. But calculating danger and chances of time travel and probability factors, well there's a damn good chance if something goes wrong in a wormhole, you might simply go back a minute in time without knowing so and go back before you got hurt and therefore confuse you. Another affect of wormhole time travel is the possibility of clones. You might go "negatively" back through time and meet yourself there. Sometimes your stuck in a loop of never-ending time travel. Sometimes you're stuck in a loop of never-ending time travel with increasing clones. This can cause insanity. This can also cause you to die once there are to may clones and you get pressed against a wall and suffocate, which leads to immortality, since once you die you go back in the time loop until your alive again, and then die. Sometimes people go so insane they make entries in guide books so other people can know. Sometimes they get so insane their brain explodes, then goes back in time AGAIN and lives. Not only can time travel create insanity, it can create mutation.

Brian was lucky enough to survive all of this, and his reward is he gets to witness to Universe's Ending.