CHAPTER 14: Two Penguins on an Iceberg
Potions went by particularly fast. Neville only lost Gryffindor five points and Hermione only lost them ten. Harry, oddly enough, didn't lose any. Ron did send him a note saying he and Hermione wanted to be friends with him again and it was true. After Potions, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were the Dream Team once again. Actually since they were friends with Draco too, they were the Dream Team Plus One.
"Hey, Draco?" Draco turned around and saw a Hufflepuff standing behind him, "Can I sit with you? There's no room at my usual table."
"Uh… sure," Draco wasn't used to Hufflepuffs coming up to him randomly and asking him if he could sit down. "What's…er… your name again?"
"I'm Justin Finch-Fletchley."
"Nice name."
"Thanks!" Justin smiled and sat down. He looked around and pointed, "There's Ron and Hermione. Are they sitting with you?"
"Yeah and they're bringing a couple of people." He saw the look on Justin's face, "No, we can fit them. You don't have to move."
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville all sat down. Harry looked around and said, "What is this? Invite a friend to lunch?"
"Guess so," Ginny said, "I came because I bet Hermione's tired of being the only girl."
"She's a girl?" Ron gasped, "And all this time I thought she was a squirrel." He said this with sincerity.
Draco raised one eyebrow, "You are kidding, I hope?"
"No, I'm a CHIPMUNK," Hermione corrected.
"And I'm a ferret…wait…" Draco said, "Where's Professor Moody when you need him?" Everyone but Neville and Justin laughed at this. Justin was really out of it.
"I have a joke," Neville said.
"Tell us," Justin said.
"Yes, do tell…"
"DRACO!" Ron said, "What was that?"
"I'm imitating Fudge."
"Oh. Keep it up then…" Ron looked confused.
"You know it feels good to sit with you guys and spend some away time from Cho," Harry said in a dazed voice.
"Good Lord!" Draco jumped up, " Is this the real, genuine Harry Potter or is it an IMPOSTOR?"
"You really do act like you dad," Harry observed.
Draco sat back down, "Hmm… could it possibly because I'm related to him?"
"I HAVE A JOKE!" Neville said loudly.
"HE HAS A JOKE!" Ginny coughed.
"Tell us," Justin said.
"Yes, do tell…" Draco said again.
"I'm having Déjà vu…" Ron said in a misty voice, "It must be because Pluto and Jupiter are aligned…"
"Stop imitating Trelawney…she's two tables away…" Hermioen said flatly, "Tell the joke, Neville."
"Okay… it's funny…" Neville started laughing, "Okay, so there are these two penguins on an iceberg and one of the penguins turns to the other and says, 'Hey, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo.' The other one replies, 'How do you know I'm not?'"
"Hahahahahaha," laughed Ginny, "hahaha…I don't get it."
"Okay, here's a joke my father told me," Draco began, "A blonde and-"
"You know," Harry interrupted, "You are blonde…"
"Yeah," Draco said, "So is my dad and my mum. Got a problem?"
"Then why are you telling a blonde joke?"
"Hold on," Draco leaned over and whispered into Justin Finch-Fletchley's ear. He nodded.
"There's a blonde and her dad walking down the street," Justin began, "This is Draco's joke by the way; anyway they're walking down the street and the dad says, 'Look a dead bird!' And the blonde looks up and says, 'Where?'"
The table sat in silence for a second before Neville laughed and said, "Oh I get it! Hahahaha!"
"What?" Harry asked, "What's the punch line?"
"The punch line, Harry," Draco answered, "Is where the dad says 'look a dead bird' and the blonde looks UP!"
"Oh," Neville said, "I thought it was where they were walking down the street."
"No," Ginny said in a flat voice, "No, that's not it. I'm sorry Neville, that's wrong."
"I've got one," Ron said, "But someone might want to restrain Draco."
Harry groaned, "I know which one you're going to tell. Not again."
"Shh…" Ron said sharply. "Ok, so there's one piece of chocolate cake left, right? Lucius…er…LUSCIOUS!" he coughed, "and Draco both wanted it-"
"What the-" Draco stared at him, "You think my dad's name is LUSCIOUS?"
"That's what it looks like when it's written down…" Ron offered the feeble excuse. He continued with his joke, "Anyway, Draco knows Luscious-"
"Lucius," Draco said automatically.
"Shut up, Draco," Harry and Ron said simultaneously.
Ron shot a sharp glance at Draco, "Don't interrupt me again!"
"Fine," Draco mumbled.
He continued, "Anyway, he knows LUSCIOUS will probably sneak out in the middle of the night. So, Draco wedges himself in the gap between the fridge and the wall. He's wearing this white terry cloth bathrobe with his initials on it and white pajama bottoms. Draco has this mask in his hand. So, the clock strikes midnight and Luscious! Comes out in his black one hundred percent silk pajamas and opens up the fridge. Draco jumps out with his mask on, which turns out to be Hagrid. BOOGOOTY! Luscious gets scared and runs away. Draco starts to eat the cake and says sadly, 'Luscious may never get his Luscious chocolate cake.'"
Harry, Ron, and Hermione started laughing. Neville and Justin joined in. Ginny and Draco just sat there, staring into space.
"Okay," Draco contradicted them. As he said the reasons, he counted them off on his fingers, "A, my dad's name is Lucius not Luscious. B, my dad does not wear black silk pajamas; they're green. C, I don't wear bathrobes, particularly white terry cloth ones. D, my dad is allergic to chocolate-"
"Poor him," Neville said.
"E! My dad would not be afraid of Hagrid. And F, if I had jumped out in a Hagrid mask, I wouldn't have lived to tell the tale. There are seven reasons why the joke is wrong."
Ginny looked over at Ron, "Did you make that up?"
"Yes," Ron blushed.
"Thought so," Ginny sat back, "Your punch lines are never very funny and at least this one made sense."
"HEY!" Ron said, "I worked hard on that joke!"
"Sure you did," Draco said. He got up from the table, "I need to do some research. See you later."
"Bye!" Justin waved. "Can I sit with you guys tomorrow?" he asked Neville enthusiastically.
"Yeah!" Neville smiled, "it would be GROOD!"
"Grood?" Justin faltered.
"I mean good…and great. Great and good."
"Oh I see! Hahaha!" Justin laughed.
"What's your last name again?" Ron leaned over to him, "Something like Pinch-Pudgely?"
"No, it's Finch-Fletchley! FINCH… FLETCHELY"
