While innocently writing her name in the air with brilliant beam saber arcs, men dressed in black suits and wearing Ray-Ban© sunglasses stormed past the tarpaulin of her partially collapsed home and grabbed both her arms.

"Squah! What is this! I know my rights! I have power of attorney! I have a baseball bat in my room to beat your head in!"

"You are charged with illegal possession of Capcom merchandise without the proper credentials."

"George Lucas came up with the idea for lightsabers! You cheapskates copy Star Wars!"

"You shall come with us."

"What? Why? Just take the damn saber!"

"Apparently you aren't aware that the person cannot be separated from the crime. You possessed it, not the other way around."

"Zero gave this to me! He thought it was okay!"

They paused to confer amongst themselves.

"He is the anomaly."

"Shall we continue?"

"Yes. After all, he is only… a robot."

"Zero isn't just a robot!" Hannah shrilled, "He's more human than you suits!"

"Let's go."

"Ack! Stop!" she yelled, "Wimpy! Sparky! Smokey! Attack!"

Her fat gray cats yawned and went back to sleep. Wimpy batted at a sofa skirt. Humans were so boring, even when their mistress was dragged off kicking and screaming. Sarah poked her head through the door to see what the commotion was about, and did the next logical thing. Phone in hand, she said, "Operator? Can you give me the number to the Maverick Hunter HQ in Japan? Of course I want to call collect!"

888

"Y'know, Chuck Norris could defeat all the Mavericks at once with a roundhouse kick to the face. We should hire him to do this," X commented after returning with the Falcon body armour.

"Chuck Norris does not fight robots, only angry men with guns."

"Chuck Norris would kick your ass."

"Chuck Norris does not kick ass, he kills."

"Enough Chuck Norris facts!" Alia pleaded, "We only have fourteen hours left!"

"Cry me a river," Zero said deadpan. X went over to Signas' corner and kicked him in the shins.

"Stop crying!"

"But we're under attack! My job is so stressful!"

Leather chaps slapping his thighs, Signas retreated. Dumbfounded, the rest paid attention to the security cameras that showed a handsome reploid with unblemished white hair calmly cutting down HQ security personnel.

"The frag?" Zero objected, "Shiny hair is MY shtick!"

"I'll get him. You have salt to comb out."

"Right. I have to let the conditioner take effect before it's ruined completely."

"Be careful!" Alia warned, "He's not like the other Mavericks or Irregulars!"

"If you come onto him as well, so help me Chuck Norris, I will slap you," X cautioned before scrambling. Alia rolled her eyes to the zenith, asking, "Why me?"

888

A shot to his feet ended the handsome reploid's progress through HQ.

"Identify yourself!" demanded a high-pitched voice.

"I," he said with a flourish of his hair, "am Dynamo, vassal of Lord Sigma."

"So he is a 'lord' now. Are you his lady? You have the hair for it."

Dynamo was unperturbed as the small blue man emerged from his sniping position.

"Megaman X, Maverick Hunter Rank B, and yet you have slain him three or four times in a row. How do you do it?"

"I am the original," X said with a smidgen of pride, "I am the first, on which all reploids are based."

"A… blueprint," Dynamo chuckled, spinning his double bladed saber with nonchalance, "That means you're my great, great, great grandfather. Slowing down in your old age?"

The mild, naïve eyes of X acquired steel.

"You may insult me, but you will not underestimate me. You were cast from my mold, but I can break it."

"Claws out today," said he, leaning into a defensive stance. X tore up the ground around Dynamo with a ballistic barrage few Irregulars could survive, but Dynamo was not second class. He knew he was the best, and that confidence showed in his slick movements and unfaltering dodges. Many of the minor shots he deflected with his saber, as Zero might, trying to flank his ranged opponent with rapid dashes to the side. But X, though ranked average, is by no means an average opponent. When Dynamo charged, he did the same, and released a fully-powered blast into the reploid's polished chest plate.

"Aghhh! My wax job!" he shouted, smoking and skidding from the impact. The X-Buster began to whine, energy gathering at its bore that happened to be aimed at his visored head. Dynamo held up his hands.

"Okay! Okay! Sheesh. I'm outta here before you singe my hair with that monstrosity."

Spoken like a true survivor, he exited stage left.

888

X reappeared in the command centre. Zero was reading an Electronic Gamers Monthly magazine while his blonde tresses floated in a chemical bath.

"Eh? You play video games?"

"Lookie, it says Dynamo is vulnerable to some dashing shredder thing I haven't gotten yet."

X gaped.

"I forgot Capcom releases the game before the corresponding war ends. What else does it say?"

"Go smack Squiddy. The Goo Shaver is effective."

"Why can't you do it?"

"My hair has to set, you dimwit, and it's the general gamer consensus that you defeat bosses much easier than I do."

"I have fans?" X blinked. Signas walked into the centre together with a healthy glow about him.

"I am proud to report that my depressed theatrics earned the concern and sympathy of our female comm. operative who thought I was sensitive."

"You hooked up a power coupling?" was Zero's snide conjecture. Signas arched imaginary eyebrows.

"Certainly not. We reploids are far too sophisticated for such primate behaviour."

"You tricked her to sit on your lap again, didn't you?"

Signas winked at X and gave the thumbs up. Zero muttered something about lecherous old men and returned to his reading.

"Been brushing up on your landchaser skills, Mr. Mold Breaker?" Signas asked, businesslike. X shrugged.

"Good," said the commander, "The Squid's stage is a nightmare of collapsed underground tunnels in the old Tokyo city."

X's face fell.

"Meaning there are pitfalls and lots and lots of debris to end in a crashing death on."

"You are correct, sir. Shall we proceed?"

"You owe me for annoying her in the first place."

"I think my charm outweighs your irritation."

"If manic depression is your 'charm', then sure. Just get me over there so I can shorten my lifespan."

"Get all eight orbs and you win a prize," Zero mentioned over the magazine cover.

888

"Who? Sears? We don't know anyone by that n… oh! You mean the girl whose house was attacked in the last war? Patch her through," Alia ordered.

"God DAMMIT! I have been on hold for the past HOUR!"

"Sorry, Miss Sarah Sears, I was using the Internet."

"Some Capcom officials kidnapped my sister because Zero gave her a beam saber."

Alia switched to loudspeaker so the Hunter in question could hear.

"When did this happen?"

"They took Hannah just before I was put on hold FOR A WHOLE HOUR. Give her back!"

"I'm sorry, Sarah. We can't be responsible for Maverick Hunters who give out illegal freebies."

Zero perked up at this and muttered, "Damn. I knew that was a bad idea."

"You put her at risk!" Alia accused, "You deliberately put a citizen at risk! Now she's probably rotting in some private prison!"

"Not necessarily," said the accused, "Capcom does not maltreat human captives. They do something worse."

"What?"

"Turn them into game testers."

888

"I do NOT want to test Devil May Cry 3! And I suck at Street Fighter! God forbid I manage a simple button combo!"

"What about Resident…"

"Doesn't impress me! I want to go home!"

She was in a well-lit, hermetically sealed room that contained nothing but smooth white walls, a chair, 42" plasma TV and a skinny geek wearing an official Capcom gamer shirt.

"How about Megaman X6?" he offered.

"The fifth war isn't over yet!"

"We plan ahead."

Growling, she said she had nothing better to do if she was trapped. Cracking a snaggletooth smile, the geek melted through a wall that Hannah attempted to run through, but head butted instead. A Playstation controller emerged from the blank floor while the Capcom logo drifted onscreen. Sighing at her current lot in life, she fell into the chair and pressed Start.