Chapter 17: WE Should All Go In With Chainsaws

"Mphh…AUK! HAUK!" Crabbe was snoring louder than usual. Draco looked at the clock. It was eleven thirty. Time to go. Noiselessly, Draco climbed out of bed, fully dressed in all black. He wasn't going to take any chances. He lifted up the corner of his mattress and pulled out the Invisibility Cloak. "MURRRRRB!" Draco jumped. Goyle rolled back to his stomach and loudly smacked his lips. Draco relaxed slightly.

"Sni-oosh…Sni-oosh…" he muttered under his breath. He slid the cloak over his head and checked the mirror. Perfect, no reflection. Draco padded over to the door and unlocked it. He quickly glanced around the common room. The fire was still burning but no one was there. He walked back into his room and silently grabbed the Marauder's Map and his wand.

He stepped out into the empty corridor and swiftly checked the map to make sure it was really was empty. "Good," Draco said to himself quietly, "Filch and Mrs. Norris are on the other side of the school…" He walked up to the suit of armour with the dent in its chest. On the map, he looked for the dot that was him. There it was, Draco Malfoy with a speech bubble that said Mortificalus. Draco looked up at the suit of armor and said, "Mortificalus…" The suit of armour got of the pedestal and pulled open the door behind it. Draco silently climbed through. "Lumos," he mumbled. His wand sent out a jet of light. He held it out in front of him and walked forward. He walked for ages until he hit a dead end. He checked his map; Filch was patrolling the corridor next to it. Draco quickly shoved the wall. It swung open; Draco tumbled out. He managed to land on his feet; but he landed noisily. He could hear Filch's mad laughter; it was coming closer. He extinguished his wand and shoved it in his pocket.

"Eh, Whassat?" Filch was at the end of the corridor. Draco quietly moved into the shadows.

"Come out! Come out!" Filch swung his lantern, "No one hides from Argus Filch!"

Draco saw his chance; Filch was walking towards him. Draco steadied his breathing and snuck passed Filch. He clung close to the wall; he slunk along it and just when he had gotten past Filch, Filch whirled around and stared at Draco. Draco held his breath. "Where are you?" He muttered, frustrated. He walked away down the other end of the corridor. Draco waited until the light was gone. He breathed a sigh of relief and sprinted the rest of the way to the Gryffindor common room. He consulted his watch, "Eleven forty-five…" The Fat Lady was snoring. Draco said loudly, "SNI-OOSH!" The Fat Lady, still sleeping, swung open.

Draco stepped into the room. He was amaze at how warm it looked. Even with the fire going, the Slytherin common room still looked gloomy. The fire was crackling loudly. The portrait hole swung shut behind him.

"Who's there?" Hermione jerked her head up from her book. Draco took off the cloak, smiling, "Me."

"Oh, you scared me."

"Where are Harry and Ron?" Draco folded up the cloak.

"We're right here," Harry and Ron came down. "Ron forgot to wake me up and Neville wouldn't wake up," Harry grinned.

"I did not!" Ron protested.

"Here's your cloak and your map," Draco held them out, "Wait, I need them to get back." He jerked them back, "Sorry."

"It's okay," Harry said, "Just bring them to breakfast."

"You all!" Hermione said urgently, "It's mid-"

The fire blazed up and roared; a familiar head appeared in the fireplace. Hermione gasped. Harry saw who it was and tears started to stream down his face. Ron stared dumbly into the fire. Draco, not knowing who it was, destroyed them moment by asking, "Who's that?"

"It's…it's…" Hermione started crying.

"Sirius, Draco, Sirius Black!" Harry cried.

"He's my great cousin… I guess… I mean he's my mum's cousin," Draco said, "I didn't recognize him."

"Sirius, is it really you?" Ron asked.

"You can't be…Sirius," Sirius used he favorite pun, "You don't recognize me? What, have I lost weight?"

"How…how…" Hermione sniffed, "You fell through the veil!"

"Yes I did, but somehow I managed to come out on the other side," Sirius said solemnly.

"Then why weren't you there when I looked?" Harry asked.

"I Apparated."

"Why did you leave me?" Harry said angrily.

"Because I knew I had succeeded in distracting Bellatrix and that Dumbledore-"

"Dumbley-dumbley door…" Draco muttered.

Sirius stared at him, "What the…"

"He's always like that," Hermione said quickly.

"So this is Draco…" Sirius smiled, "Welcome to the Good Side. I think…"

"It might be 'Welcome to the Dark Side' for all you know…" Draco smiled back.

"You look almost exactly like Lucius-"

"LUSCIOUS!" Ron faked sneezed, "Which reminds me… Sirius, do you want to hear a joke?"

"No," Draco waved his hands, "No, you really don't want to, no!"

"Oh no…" Hermione and Harry groaned.

"Ok, so there's one piece of VANILLA cake left, right?" Ron began, "Lucius…er…LUSCIUOUS!" he coughed, "and Draco both wanted it. Draco also knows LUSCIOUS will probably sneak out in the middle of the night. So, Draco wedges himself in the gap between the fridge and the wall. He's wearing this white terry cloth bathrobe with his initials on it and white pajamas. Draco has this mask in his hand, too. So, the clock strikes midnight and Luscious! Comes out in his GREEN one hundred percent silk pajamas and opens up the fridge. Draco jumps out with his mask on, which turns out to be Hagrid. BOOGOOTY! Luscious gets scared and runs away. Draco starts to eat the cake and says sadly, 'Luscious may never get his Luscious VANILLA cake.'"

"Okay then…" Sirius looked around. "That was…great… I guess. Have any of you thought of a plan?"

"In fact…" Draco said, "Since everyone who's going with me is a Death Eater's dream to kill, I think we should all go in with chainsaws and-"

"Chainsaws?" Sirius said, "You don't have a plan, do you?"

"No, not really," Ron said, looking around.

"Thought about it?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"No, they usually don't use one. It's just spontaneous. 'Hey I'm bored. Let's go save the world!'" Draco answered.

"Yeah, that is true, especially HARRY!" Sirius looked at him, "This time you all really need a plan. And I can help you. I have one inside source." Sirius looked at Draco, "I'm still trying to get in touch with your dad, but-"

"Who's your inside source?" Ron asked impatiently.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," Sirius said flatly.

"SHE TRIED TO KILL YOU!" Harry roared.

"Harry! Be quiet!" Draco clamped his hand over Harry's mouth and pulled him to the ground. Sirius let out a bark of laughter. He laughed even harder when he saw Draco's face. "URGH! Harry, you are the absolute nastiest person ever!" Draco wiped his hand off on Harry's shirt.

"What did I do? Why are you rubbing my shirt?" Harry pushed Draco off of him.

Ron was in tears, "That looked wrong!"

"Harry licked me…" Draco said flatly.

"ORGH!" Ron covered his eyes, "Sick! That was just plain wrong!"

"Ronald Weasley," Draco breathed, "You have a sick, wrong, and twisted mind. You should be a Death Eater."

"Back to what I was saying…" Harry said, "Why are you working with Bellatrix?"

"I went out with her in my sixth year…" Sirius remembered, "She was the sexiest… I mean… she owes me a favor…that's all!" Even in the fire, Harry could tell he was blushing. "Once she's done it, we can go back to fighting and pretend we were never working with each other…"

Sirius said, "Have you gotten anything from Dolohov?"

"Several things," Draco pulled the letters out of his pocket, "Where they want us and when."

"You shouldn't go if you don't have a plan," Sirius warned.

"I think we should just take it as it comes…" Draco said, "Besides, Dolohov always likes to throw in surprises, so don't have a firm plan."

"Well, yeah," Sirius blinked, "But you need to have a basic plan!"

"Okay," Ron said, "How about this plan: we go in and take whatever comes, when it comes."

"No…" Sirius laughed, "Are you all really that dense?"

"I'm trying to formulate one," Hermione said, "I can owl you."

"Alright. That'll work," Sirius said, "I'll be seeing you in person at the Death Eater meeting."

"But you could die," Draco said. "Again…" he must have realized how stupid it sounded because he added, "For real."

"Not with Bellatrix helping me…" Sirius took a deep breath, "I have to go. I'll send you a letter."

"Bye Sirius!" Ron said.

"Take care!" Hermione said.

"Remember the mirrors!" Harry reminded him.

"Peace out…" Draco smiled, "Bye, Sirius."

"It was so good to see him again!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I can't believe he's alive!" Ron said.

"YES!" Harry shouted at the top of his lungs.

Simultaneously, Ron, Hermione, and Draco shushed him.

"I've got to go," Draco said, "It's almost one." He tossed the Invisibility Cloak over himself and disappeared.

Draco climbed out from behind the suit of armor and walked to the statue that guarded the entrance. "Snape rules…" Draco yawned. The wall creaked open. He walked into his room. Crabbe and Goyle were snoring considerably softer, for them. Draco decided to try something. He walked over to Crabbe and held his nose.

"HOOO….sneeeeeeee…." he snorted; then Crabbe stopped snoring.

Draco took off the cloak and hid it under his mattress, along with the Marauder's Map. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed. He lie down and fell asleep almost immediately.