Disclaimer- I still don't own Moulin Rouge. I do own these really nifty black boots though. They click when I walk and are almost as good. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

It was late in the afternoon and orange sunlight was drifting deliciously in through the book store window. Lucy was the way Satine liked her best, asleep, curled up on the couch in the corner with her thumb in her mouth. Quiet, for once. The soft hum air conditioner and the distant sound of the street were all she could hear. For New York, this was silence.

Satine sighed, knowing it wouldn't last. She had to close and take Lucy home. If she had her way she'd stay here all night, among the silent rows of books with their comforting inky smell. Satine lay down her book and walked across the room, leaning down to whisper in her sister's ear.

"Luce, sweetie, you've gotta get up." Lucy opened her big chocolate eyes and blinked dazedly. She then began to whine. Her eyes filled with tears for the third time that day. Lucy always seemed to be crying lately. She didn't play with the other kids, she didn't pay attention in class, and Satine was at her wits end.

Satine felt she was drowning beneath If Only's. If only she knew how to be a parent, if only she had enough time to help Lucy, enough money to buy food, if only their mother would stop drinking and come home. Counting in her head Satine realized her Mother hadn't been home in over a week. It was nothing new, but it still filled her with concern. Gathering Lucy in her arms, she bid goodnight to Henry, who was restacking books and left.

It was getting dark but the streets were just as busy as they were during the day. Lucy looked miserable and tired and finally Satine picked her up. In no time the small girl was fast asleep, her curly head bobbing unconsciously against Satine's breast. She was surprisingly heavy for someone so frail looking.

Lucy lay beside her on seat of the train, her head on Satine's lap. The car was packed with people, making the air hot. They looked at the number of seats Lucy was taking up with disapproving glares. Satine ignored them. Back at their apartment Satine found dirty dishes and unmade beds. Sighing she ignored them and put Lucy to bed before washing and going to bed herself. She had thought she was too tired to do the dishes yet in bed she couldn't sleep.

Tossing and turning she thought about the boy in the alley. Until now he'd been forgotten. Suddenly she wished could see him again. She knew she had more important things to be thinking about but something able his innocent brown eyes and his lost smile had stuck in her mind.

Finally she decided she wasn't going to be able to sleep so she rapped herself in quilt and left her closet-bedroom. In the main room she turned on the TV and flicked uninterested through the channels until finally she fell asleep in the couch.

In the predawn hours the mistress of the house made her arrival. She banged through the door and promptly tripped over an umbrella stand to fall flat on her face. Satine was awoken by the noise and knew that it was either burglars or her mother and wasn't sure which she preferred.

Rubbing her eyes she lumbered over to where her mother lay. She bent over and gently helped her up. Suddenly her mother lurched and vomited all over Satine and the floor. She laughed weakly. Frustrated Satine helped her mother into bed. Her mother inhabited the only real bed room in the house. Satine slept on a mattress in the walk in closet and Lucy's room was more of an alcove than anything else. Satine tucked her mother in and looked at the bottles that lined her floor.

"You're my sweet girl Izzy"

"Satine."

"What?"

"My name in Satine, Isabelle is my sister, she doesn't live here anymore." Her mother was already asleep. Furious and wishing for once her mother would be responsible, she cleaned up the vomit.

Satine wandered into main room where she tried to do the dishes but ended up in a ball on the floor. If she had been the kind of girl who cried she would have done it then. Her mother had mixed her up with Izzy, Satine's favorite person on earth. But Izzy had abandoned them too and she hadn't even written.

When Izzy lived at home they had run the household together and Satine had gone to school. After she left Satine had to drop out so she could help at home and work. Satine stayed strong for Lucy's sake. She didn't have anyone else to turn too anymore.

If she cried it was alone, if she laughed she did it by herself. But of course, she never cried. Feeling nothing could make her smile again; she went to bed and fell in a dreamless sleep.