A/N: Okay, thank you so much for the reviews, I appreciate them so much. This chapter isn't terribly interesting interesting until the end, and I'm sorry for that. I needed filler space, and this was it. The next chapter will be more interesting.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Dedication: To…a person who made my day go from bad to good without even knowing.

I went to bed late on Saturday night, and I didn't get up until very late on Sunday afternoon. I had trouble sleeping again. I had only gotten maybe six hours of sleep in the last to nights. I felt like a zombie walking around.

Monday morning, I went from being really unhappy to being down right depressed. Marissa was following David around like a puppy, and he seemed to be liking it. Every time I saw David, I started crying. I couldn't help it. I screwed my life up so bad. David never glanced in my direction when people where watching him. Every once in a while though, I would catch him staring at me.

The rest of March went by in a blur. I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into a fit of depression. David was accompanied by some new girl hanging on his arm. Everybody I knew said they were just friends, but every time I saw them it broke my heart. Everything I was involved in was slipping.

My classes were disasters. Well, written parts of things were okay, but it was things like mastering spells and brewing potions that I kept screwing up on. Professor McGonnagall actually held me back one class to see if anything was wrong. I, of course, told her no. I wasn't going to discuss my personal life with a teacher.

My performance on the Quiditch team was suffering to. I could hardly do anything, and James warned me that if I didn't pick things up, he would have to let the reserve seeker play. This made me cry, but that is nothing new. It seems that all I am doing these days is crying.

My hair was back to its natural color to. It was like that when I woke up one morning, and I couldn't put enough heart into a spell to change it back. Also, I was getting thinner and thinner. More like my bones were jutting out more and more. I wasn't anorexic or anything, but the desire to eat was gone…

I couldn't believe that David was having this much of an effect on me. I had never been not friends with David, as we were now. Even before we were together, we were friends; he was always there for me to turn to. Then we got together, and I relied on him even more. We were together for two months, and those were the best to months of my life.

Then I screwed up. Big time. Now I'm stuck being depressed, with no one to turn to. Not even Tess understands. No one does. I hardly sleep at night, but then I am so tired throughout the day. I am never hungry, and I only eat because I know I have to. My schoolwork is suffering so much that I might not get any O.W.L.'s. Let's face it: I'm a mess.

Other people were worried about me to. I heard the teachers talking about me, and my friends to. Tyler told me that I needed to get over David, but that just made me start to cry all over again. I had never in my life felt so crummy, and it sucked.

David, on the other hand, seemed to be in a good mood. He was normal looking. That girl, a sixth year Gryffendor, was always around him. According to everyone, they were only friends… but you never know. She isn't very nice, it talked to her once, but she seems to like David a lot… That scares me.

Sirius can really tell that something is wrong, since we are twins. I want to tell him so bad, but then I know that he would go and beat David up and that would not be good at all. He looks at me curiously all the time, and he is always coming up to me and hugging me, telling me that everything will be okay. I find those hugs very comforting.

When April started, so did the snowstorms. Flurries of snow everywhere. It was a very strange and unusual weather, considering it was usually sunny and warm around now. I didn't care though. The knew weather fitted my mood very well.

On the first day of April, a Thursday, it was very freezing and cold. I liked it. I went outside and laid in the snow. It felt good, surprisingly. I just laid there for a while, soaking up the freezing ness and the sense of security.

On Friday morning, the word was spread that Herbology was canceled. I was glad, since I was increasingly liking spending time alone somewhere. I was walking to the room of requirement when I heard someone talking behind a door. It was professor McGonnagall, Professor Flitwick, and my brother James.

"-not herself lately. Do you know why?" I heard professor McGonnagall ask James.

"No, Lily has been screwing up on the pitch to. She can't concentrate on anything." James said back.

I scowled. They were talking about me!

"She was such a good student to." Professor Flitwick said sadly.

"I'm going to send her to Madam Pomfrey tonight. Something is seriously wrong with Lily Potter. More then just pressure from exams." Professor McGonnagall said, sounding slightly worried.

I continued along down the corridor, waiting to get to the room of requirement. Then I passed another door where people were talking. I stopped and listened to this one to. This time I seemed to stumble on the very beginning of a conversation.

"Lily is really different lately, isn't she?" Tucker said, to who I'm guessing was Kelsey, Tess, and Tyler.

"No, more then a little different…" Tess said slowly. To me it sounded like she was thinking.

"She is depressed because David dumped her. He broke her heart, and she can't get over it! Her heart is already scarred from the rape, and now it doesn't want to heal p at all." Tyler said softly. I barely heard him, but I know that was what he said.

"Omigosh! I am so worried about Lily. She is falling behind in classes to." Kelsey said.

"I hear her tossing and turning all night, and then when she finally does fall asleep, she murmurs about things… she isn't sleeping well at all." Tess said to that.

"If you haven't noticed, she hasn't been eating either. She eats a little here, a little there. But not nearly as much as she used to." Tucker said, adding in his two Knuts.

I was rather angry. What were they doing, watching my every move? It drove me so nuts! I was ready to crack.

"I'm worried about her." Tyler said finally, and there was a murmur of yeses around him. I knew that they really were worried, and then I felt bad for being mad.

They really cared. I wasn't worth being cared about like that. I wasn't worth it at all. I decided to make it so they wouldn't have to care about me anymore.

I finally made it to the room of requirement. I carefully dipped a quill into paper and wrote out a long note. Then I left it on a desk, where, if they thought the right thing, I knew they would find it.

Then, I went back upstairs to my dorm. I gathered all of my stuff and put it into my trunk; nobody would have to do it later then. I made my bed, then I made my way to the stairs.

As I walked to my destination, I passed a lot of people. Most of them I didn't know, and most of them were happy. I wondered how they could be happy at a time like this. Well, I suppose they didn't have non-healing broken hearts, and they didn't have friends who cared too much.

As I was walking up to my destination, I was doing a lot of thinking. This really had been a good year, at least up until a month ago. I had two boyfriends, and I went form having one friend to having four. It was a good year, not counting the whole rape issue.

Then I lost my memory, and everything went downhill. Everything. David dumped me, my schoolwork spiraled down, and everybody was super worried about me. But the one person whose opinion mattered most, whom I wanted more then anything to notice me, didn't care. That was so bad that it had led me into a pit of depression, and now look at me. Look at what I was planning to do.

As I got to the top of the astronomy tower, I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I looked out from the top of it. I could see all of Hogwarts, and it was nice. I almost smiled. Almost; I hadn't really smiled in a month.

As I glanced around the grounds, there was nobody. I couldn't blame them, it really was cold outside. I was shivering, since all I had on were my robes and my clothes underneath. It's not like it mattered now anyway.

I pushed myself up onto the ledge. I looked down. There was a lot of snow down there. It was really high up. The astronomy tower is the highest point in the castle, which is why I picked it. I looked at my watch. It was half-an-hour until people who hadn't had their classes canceled would come out. I knew that it was now.

Then, right as I was ready, my mother and father's faces flashed before my eyes. I stopped. They had no idea what was going on. No idea at all. They thought their oldest daughter was perfectly happy here, they thought she was all nice and happy and getting good grades. They had no idea that their daughter was the opposite.

I was ready for this. My parents would have to deal. My friends would have to deal. I was almost ready when David's face flashed across my mind. I stopped again. This was all his fault in the first place. He broke my heart, then he went off and ignored me like I was something disgusting that crawled out of the closet. He was the one who made me miserable.

Deep down, I knew that wasn't true. It was my fault. I lost my memory, but I remembered my friends. I hadn't listened to them, and this is what happened. If had been a little more compassionate for David's feelings, and a little more trusting of my friends, David and I would still be together, and I wouldn't be in this horrible mess right now.

Finally, I made up my mind. I had to do it. I had to stop all of my friends from worrying about me, wondering if I was all right. I had to stop my teachers from wondering if I was going to do well in the next class, or screw up like I had been doing lately. Now my parents wouldn't have to worry if I was doing okay, they would also have one less kid to support.

The more I thought about it, the better it was. Well, maybe not the best idea for me, but for everybody else.

I stood up on the edge of the ledge. I looked all around, got the picture, and closed my eyes, wanting this to be my last view.

And I jumped.

A/N: OMIGOSH! She jumped! Wow! Cliffhangers… aren't they wonderful? Okay, lets see if you guys can give me TEN reviews. If you give me TEN reviews, I will update by next Monday. If you don't, for every one less I will add two days. SO PLEASE REVIEW! Your reviews really do count, even if you don't think they do.