Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin, and most of the
characters related to and featuring in the following fictional
stories are property of creator and master manga artist Watsuki
Nobuhiro, and no copyright infringement was intended in any way
in the creation of these projects. Used without permission.
Note: This is a vignette from Hikari's perspective, a few years (at least) after the following occurrences.
~*~
The Light of the Snow-Red Village
Vignette Five - Phases of the Heart
Akai Kitsune
~*~
I've always felt some fear when my father goes to fight; it's only natural. When you only have one person in the entire world to depend on — one that was constant rather than temporary — danger for them is danger for you as well. But it wasn't only that. I've wondered, sometimes, if I will see the change I saw in him in our time with Heiji-sensei... the change that made his eyes the colour of a golden sunset for the entire night.
I remember waking up that morning, and crying because I was so happy to meet the colour I was used to. I remember holding so tightly to him it seemed as if I would never let go.
Or was that him holding me?
I guess it doesn't matter. All I know is that when my father left with Sanosuke-san to fight this new enemy, this Kurogasa, my heart pounded in my chest so badly I thought it would burst. I tried to keep myself distracted... I practiced, I cooked, I argued with Yahiko, even Kaoru... but any distraction has always proven to fall before the thoughts of my father. He's always been too strong to be defeated.
Which makes it even stranger, I think, that it worries me when he leaves.
Maybe it's the thought of seeing Sanosuke returning alone. Like he did.
How my eyes burned, then.
"Kenshin... isn't coming back."
Thinking back, I can recall how unintentionally cruel Sanosuke had been, twisting the words for dramatic effect and giving me — and Kaoru as well, by that point — the worst scare possible. The thought of my father not coming back... ever... was too painful for either of us to bear.
One thing I remember hating the most was that Kaoru-san left to find him. Kaoru. Not me. Why didn't I go with her? Certainly I had faith in my father, but I was just as concerned as anyone... right?
Maybe it was the reason that she left.
"... if I'm going to be left alone again, I'd rather meet the danger face to face!"
She feared that he would leave... and not return.
Baka!
They always forget who I am. I think, sometimes, that there is a reason my father leaves me at the dojo when he fights. It angered me at first, knowing that he placed me in the same category of importance as the others — which makes his acceptance of Sanosuke even more infuriating — but slowly I began to see that deep down, in his heart, he wanted to stay with these people. He wanted to make this place our home, these people our family. Never before had we been so easily and completely accepted; his identity, and the inevitable trouble it brought, and even the sort of people we are, didn't matter to them.
No one has ever invited us to live with them so desperately.
It was a cry for help from Kaoru, quietly, not vocalized but implied, that made us stay with her. Not her method of convincing — that I needed a stable home; how do you miss what you never had? — but the so obvious need in her voice. She had tried to make herself strong and angry, but I had heard that sort of pleading before, and what she was missing was even more terrible and cruel than our lack of a home.
She needed a family.
My father is part of her family now; they are tied together, and those ties can never be broken. But when the Kurogasa came, there were no ties, as much as either of them would have wanted. There was only me.
So he left me at the dojo, to tie us together without anyone else knowing, to keep us at the dojo, safe and protected, while he dealt with whatever wanted him dead this time. He does it often enough, and truly, it's not difficult to understand.
Harder to forgive.
It took him a long time to tell me the truth about what had occurred in the woods that day, the day before he and Kaoru-san had returned to the dojo, red-faced and laughing, yet with an overwhelming darkness in their eyes that could not be ignored. I was patient with him - I try to be, really, when it's important - but I could tell it was something neither of them would easily discuss. I think Kaoru-san told Sanosuke, since it wasn't the sort of thing he and my father would talk about, but I really couldn't ask her either. My father and I were careful about secrets, especially when they could cause a distance between us. Either we spoke of it or it never entered our minds. That was just the way it was.
That day... when he told me, his eyes shadowed by the fire of his hair, I finally understood - in part, for I was not as old as I am now - why he really did want to stay here. He protected Kaoru-san. He was willing to kill to protect her.
In the war, he killed for the sake of my mother.
What did that mean? What did that change, that sudden, strangely dangerous revelation mean?
To me, or to him?
I didn't know what to think.
But I do understand, at least a little better than before. It was something he needed to understand, to recognize; that there was room in his heart for more than just me, more than just memories of my mother. There was room in his heart for a different sort of caring, a different sort of protection.
And it didn't bother me one bit.
~*~
Whee! Look, look! I finally updated! Well it turns out I probably could have uploaded this thing a couple of weeks ago; my beta reader had read it already, but didn't realize it. ^_^ Well, it happens. *throws a frying pan at beta's head* Mwahaha...
But seriously, thanks for all your patience, guys. It really helped.
As said above, this takes place when Hikari is a little older. This should explain why she sounds a bit more mature than she ought to, ^_^
The ties between Kenshin and Kaoru: I'm not at liberty to say how far these ties go, ^_^ You'll just have to wait until I get there.
Did this vignette feel incomplete to you? It sort of did to me, but after reading it a few times, I felt it had nothing more to say...
Just so you know, the "Kurogasa" was the Black Hat, aka Jin'ei, aka "the guy Kenshin fought after Sanosuke", ^_^ I didn't think he'd be hard to identify, but both my betas weren't sure, so...
Reviewer Responses:
Tatsu-no-Houou: A romance? Well, it's very
tempting, ^_^ I'm a strong believer in the pairing of Kenshin and
Kaoru, so I find it a lot easier to write than some other
pairings. Hm, Hikari having prospective boyfriends? She's not
really at that age yet... of course, I guess I have to consider
the Yahiko/Tsubame romance... so I guess you're never too
young... but at nine, she's got her mind on other things, ^_^
ReAcH: Wow, how did you access it?! It didn't work for
anyone else for the longest time... *grumble* But thanks for the
review, ^_^
MegumiFuu: Aw, you don't give him enough credit, ^_^ Sano
is actually pretty good at making Hikari-chan happy... he
just makes the occasional mistake, that's all. Even Kenshin is
guilty of making Hikari cry... as for Kenshin going
full-Battousai mode again... don't worry, I have plenty of
chapters to make THAT possibility come true, ^_^
J.Liha: LOL, well you certainly don't hold grudges...
*grumbles about Y-H-T love triangles and reviewer suggestions*
Good grief. How many is that, now? This is really going to turn
the fic upside down... and I had such nice plans, too, ^_^
Chibi Summoner Diamond Weapon: Does Hikari have little
faith in her father? Well, it's Kenshin, so he's selfless to the
point of distancing himself a LOT. Hikari, at age nine, might not
see that as what it really is, perceptive she may be at times.
Don't worry though, she gets the point eventually - as does
Kenshin. ^_^ I have special plans for them in Kyoto... ACK!
There's that "K" word again...
Crazy Girl Person: Kitten... is... fuzzy? Oro. And I think
the point of the joke was that Kenshin doesn't get drunk; as
such, she teases him about it. But that'll come up later. One
thing I've noticed in the series is that Kenshin has never been
drunk. Certainly not in the manga... which makes it so amusing
when people like to make him have such a low tolerance in
fanfics, ^_^
Jedi Brother Horace: Yes, my continuing goal for this fic
is to write Kenshin in a way that is approved of by my
anti-Kenshin beta-reader, ^_^ Well, perhaps not anti-Kenshin
directly, but anti-anime Kenshin. He prefers the OVA version,
so... oh, and as tempting as those pairings may be...
Hikari: Saitou, your eyes are so sexy! Run away with me!
Saitou: That I shall! Later, Battousai.
Kenshin: O_O
chelle815: It's okay, it was my fault, ^_^ I really should
have told you... but I'll be sure to let you know next time. Or
you could check where the chapter ends before you review, ^_~
(PS: Jinchuu is coming... it's coming I tell you! *grin*)
Sakura Urimeshi: Don't worry. I have no life either. :P
Xavien: You know, people keep saying "damn you!"
then "write more!" All these mixed messages give me a
headache. *grin* Can't possibly write under these
circumstances...
Selim the Worm: LOL, all these people reading from the
beginning and rushing through it... makes me feel almost guilty
for making it so long... ^_^;;
M: It's okay. I suppose I ought to explain myself at the
end of each chapter... sorry about that. Shoji are the sliding
doors that separate the rooms from the halls, and rooms from the
outside. Omake are "extra", so in other words, anything
that doesn't really belong/fit into the regular storyline,
usually made to be jokes or "bloopers", ^_^ Now I can't
promise what you asked for, but I will tell you one thing: Kaoru
will never, ever be Hikari's mother. Older sister, female role
model, but not mother. I wouldn't dare replace Tomoe like that -
even if she never had a chance.
CardMistress Sakura: Glad you liked it, ^_^ As for
Aoshi... if he does appear in this fic (I'm focusing less on the
fights and more on characterization, so he may not make an
appearance at all... I'm still debating it) it probably will be
brief, or not for a while. Sorry... oh, and I'm following the
manga, mostly, as well as stuff I make up. It's easier to read
translations as I write rather than watch the anime, ^_^ Not to
mention I'm a purist...
Calger459: Yeah, I really wanted Kenshin and Sano
to be closer, yet distant, in the beginning. The anime/manga
friendship was very abrupt, and due to the nature of them
both being fairly untrusting, it had to be stronger and harder to
come from the get-go. I'm dreading Kyoto, I really am. My
beta-reader (well, one of them) wants me to skip it all and go
straight to Jinchuu - but that's because she knows it's already
half written, ^_^;; But whatever happens, it'll get done
eventually.
inca-dove: Well for Kaoru, I'm going for big sister, ^_^
She seems to fit the bill rather well. I've had people requesting
a Yahiko/Hikari romance, but, really, I can't see that happening
at all...
Crystal: The wanderer returns! *grin*
Thanks for reading!
~ AK
