Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following characters...everyone but me.
Dark Lords Episode 2- Matchmaker
"Hello and welcome back to Dark Lords! I'm your host Darth Warious. Today we are setting up our Dark Lords with potential girlfriends from various places and galaxies. Please welcome our matchmaking guest, Perigrin the Silver!"
Lillian walks out closely followed by Boromir who is her current boyfriend. The crowd cheers as she comes on stage and sits in a chair next to Warious.
"Hello Warious! Thanks for having me on your show!"
"You're welcome kiddo. Anyway you're here to find suitable girlfriends for our Dark Lords. Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome back our Dark Lords!"
Darth's Vader, Sidious and Maul walk out followed by Sauron/Jackson and Saruman who is followed by Tom Riddle Voldemort.
Perigrin surveys the six people and looks at Boromir. Boromir, at the sight of Sauron and Saruman looked like he was going to pee in his pants.
Warious whispers to Lillian as the Dark Lords sit down, "I thought I told you not to bring him here!"
"I couldn't make him stay home, sorry."
"Well Perigrin, who are you going to start with first?"
"I think we'll start with Saruman the hippie. He's aged a bit and we might have trouble finding someone his age. Let's see. Saruman, how old are you?"
Saruman squirms uncomfortably in his chair and says, "325."
The audience gasps and someone calls out, "You look like your 70, not three hundred and twenty-five!"
Saruman blushes and mumbles a "thank you".
"Well, Um, lets see, Saruman. What are you looking for in a woman?" Perigrin asks.
"I want someone who will look up to me and call me master all the time. I'm not big on looks so....yeah."
"Well you're in luck! Lillian exclaims, "let me introduce you to Grima Wormtongue's sister, Gina Wormess!"
A picture on the holoscreen shows a woman who looks like a female Wormtongue. Saruman looks up and gasps in surprise then starts crying, "It's my old girlfriend! I thought she was going out with someone else!"
A few seconds later Gina runs out on stage and tackles Saruman in a big hug crying, "master."
The two leave the set to go do other things.
"Well, it's time for commercial break, we'll be back right after this!"
"And we're back! Welcome to Dark Lords. If you're just joining us, we're setting up our dark lords with eligible women. Our guest match maker today is Perigrin the Silver. So Perigrin, who are you going to match next?"
"I think I'll do Palpatine next, ick. That way he might leave like Saruman. Hey Mr. P! How old are you and what do you want in a woman?"
"I'm not telling you how old I am! As for Women, hmmm, I want someone who can deal with power and won't try to murder me in my sleep." Darth Sidious replies glaring at Perigrin.
Boromir whispered something into Perigrin's ear. She looks up and says, "Yes. That might work. I believe that you may get along fine with, Ysanne Isard." A picture of Isard shows up on the holoscreen.
Palpatine recoils in horror and says "Not her! Anyone but her!" but it's too late. Isard runs out and throws herself on Darth Sidious and says, "I've always wanted you Palpy!"
Sidious unlatches Isard's grip saying, "I know, that's why I getting out of here!" Sidious runs away with Isard in mad pursuit.
The remaining Dark Lords are looking nervous.
"Okay, next is Darth Maul. Maul, How old are you and what do you want in a woman?"
"I'm 26 and I want a woman of the darkside who isn't afraid of me."
The audience goes, "awwwwww'. Maul blushes and looks at Perigrin.
"I think that the night sister from Dathomir would suit you. Her mane is Lana Tonakel."
The picture shows up on the holoscreen. But Maul's attention is elsewhere as a stunning Nightsister appears from back stage and walks gracefully to Darth Maul. Maul is enraptured at Lana's appearance. Both disappear back stage as Perigrin continues.
"Next is Sauron, also known as Michael Jackson. How old are you and what are you looking for in a woman?"
"I'm older than dirt," Sauron says half jokingly and half serious. "I want Martha Stewart."
The audience collectively shudders at this as she walks out on stage, takes Sauron's hand and walks off.
"Wow...that was...interesting," says Warious. "It's time for commercial. Don't go away we'll be right back after this.
"Welcome back to Dark Lords, Lets get right to business. Perigrin?"
"I think we should do Darth Vader next. Vady, how old are you and what do you want in a woman?"
"I'm not VADY stop calling me that! My name is Anakin Skywalker!" He rips off his mask to reveal a young man, who could only be Anakin S. "I'm twenty years old and I love Éowyn Skywalker!"
Éowyn runs out on stage from the audience and hugs Ani. They leave the stage holding hands and talking. (A/N: Sorry Éowyn, couldn't resist.)
"That went rather well. Don't you agree Perigrin?" Warious asks.
"Couldn't have gone better," she replies grinning, "now for Tom Riddle. Tom how old are you and what do you look for in a woman?"
"Old enough...and I do not look for women. They find me."
"Wait, Tom? The Tom Riddle?" Perigirn asks, looking at the last Dark Lord for the first time. "Oh my gosh TOM!"
"Lillian?"
Perigrin squeals and jumps out of her chair and runs to him. The two hug in nauseating fashion and leave the stage talking to each other leaving a confused Boromir behind.
Warious rolls her eyes and says, "Well that's all for today on Dark Lords! Next time we might actually have kids for the Dark Lords to deal with! See you next time!"
Warious: Please review and give me more ideas.
Dark Lords Episode 2- Matchmaker
"Hello and welcome back to Dark Lords! I'm your host Darth Warious. Today we are setting up our Dark Lords with potential girlfriends from various places and galaxies. Please welcome our matchmaking guest, Perigrin the Silver!"
Lillian walks out closely followed by Boromir who is her current boyfriend. The crowd cheers as she comes on stage and sits in a chair next to Warious.
"Hello Warious! Thanks for having me on your show!"
"You're welcome kiddo. Anyway you're here to find suitable girlfriends for our Dark Lords. Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome back our Dark Lords!"
Darth's Vader, Sidious and Maul walk out followed by Sauron/Jackson and Saruman who is followed by Tom Riddle Voldemort.
Perigrin surveys the six people and looks at Boromir. Boromir, at the sight of Sauron and Saruman looked like he was going to pee in his pants.
Warious whispers to Lillian as the Dark Lords sit down, "I thought I told you not to bring him here!"
"I couldn't make him stay home, sorry."
"Well Perigrin, who are you going to start with first?"
"I think we'll start with Saruman the hippie. He's aged a bit and we might have trouble finding someone his age. Let's see. Saruman, how old are you?"
Saruman squirms uncomfortably in his chair and says, "325."
The audience gasps and someone calls out, "You look like your 70, not three hundred and twenty-five!"
Saruman blushes and mumbles a "thank you".
"Well, Um, lets see, Saruman. What are you looking for in a woman?" Perigrin asks.
"I want someone who will look up to me and call me master all the time. I'm not big on looks so....yeah."
"Well you're in luck! Lillian exclaims, "let me introduce you to Grima Wormtongue's sister, Gina Wormess!"
A picture on the holoscreen shows a woman who looks like a female Wormtongue. Saruman looks up and gasps in surprise then starts crying, "It's my old girlfriend! I thought she was going out with someone else!"
A few seconds later Gina runs out on stage and tackles Saruman in a big hug crying, "master."
The two leave the set to go do other things.
"Well, it's time for commercial break, we'll be back right after this!"
"And we're back! Welcome to Dark Lords. If you're just joining us, we're setting up our dark lords with eligible women. Our guest match maker today is Perigrin the Silver. So Perigrin, who are you going to match next?"
"I think I'll do Palpatine next, ick. That way he might leave like Saruman. Hey Mr. P! How old are you and what do you want in a woman?"
"I'm not telling you how old I am! As for Women, hmmm, I want someone who can deal with power and won't try to murder me in my sleep." Darth Sidious replies glaring at Perigrin.
Boromir whispered something into Perigrin's ear. She looks up and says, "Yes. That might work. I believe that you may get along fine with, Ysanne Isard." A picture of Isard shows up on the holoscreen.
Palpatine recoils in horror and says "Not her! Anyone but her!" but it's too late. Isard runs out and throws herself on Darth Sidious and says, "I've always wanted you Palpy!"
Sidious unlatches Isard's grip saying, "I know, that's why I getting out of here!" Sidious runs away with Isard in mad pursuit.
The remaining Dark Lords are looking nervous.
"Okay, next is Darth Maul. Maul, How old are you and what do you want in a woman?"
"I'm 26 and I want a woman of the darkside who isn't afraid of me."
The audience goes, "awwwwww'. Maul blushes and looks at Perigrin.
"I think that the night sister from Dathomir would suit you. Her mane is Lana Tonakel."
The picture shows up on the holoscreen. But Maul's attention is elsewhere as a stunning Nightsister appears from back stage and walks gracefully to Darth Maul. Maul is enraptured at Lana's appearance. Both disappear back stage as Perigrin continues.
"Next is Sauron, also known as Michael Jackson. How old are you and what are you looking for in a woman?"
"I'm older than dirt," Sauron says half jokingly and half serious. "I want Martha Stewart."
The audience collectively shudders at this as she walks out on stage, takes Sauron's hand and walks off.
"Wow...that was...interesting," says Warious. "It's time for commercial. Don't go away we'll be right back after this.
"Welcome back to Dark Lords, Lets get right to business. Perigrin?"
"I think we should do Darth Vader next. Vady, how old are you and what do you want in a woman?"
"I'm not VADY stop calling me that! My name is Anakin Skywalker!" He rips off his mask to reveal a young man, who could only be Anakin S. "I'm twenty years old and I love Éowyn Skywalker!"
Éowyn runs out on stage from the audience and hugs Ani. They leave the stage holding hands and talking. (A/N: Sorry Éowyn, couldn't resist.)
"That went rather well. Don't you agree Perigrin?" Warious asks.
"Couldn't have gone better," she replies grinning, "now for Tom Riddle. Tom how old are you and what do you look for in a woman?"
"Old enough...and I do not look for women. They find me."
"Wait, Tom? The Tom Riddle?" Perigirn asks, looking at the last Dark Lord for the first time. "Oh my gosh TOM!"
"Lillian?"
Perigrin squeals and jumps out of her chair and runs to him. The two hug in nauseating fashion and leave the stage talking to each other leaving a confused Boromir behind.
Warious rolls her eyes and says, "Well that's all for today on Dark Lords! Next time we might actually have kids for the Dark Lords to deal with! See you next time!"
Warious: Please review and give me more ideas.
