Dark Lords Episode 3 – Kids in their life.
"Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of Dark Lords! I'm your host, Darth Warious. Today on Dark Lords we will be seeing how children have affected our Dark Lords' lives. Everyone please welcome back our Dark Lords!"
Audience cheers wildly as the six Dark Lords walk out and sit on either side of Warious.
"Are you all ready to start talking candidly about the kids in your life?"
There is an unsure but collective nod from the Dark Lords.
"Good!" Warious says grinning. "We'll start with the galaxy's most well known dad in Dark Lord History, Darth Vader. Vady..."
"DON"T CALL ME VADY!"
The audience laughs as Warious continues, "Tell us about your kids, Luke and Leia."
"Ah, yes. Luke is my 20 year old son and he cut off my hand in a duel. He was trained by Obi-Wan, my old master and has a twin sister, Leia. Leia is my beautiful daughter and a very good politician."
"And how do you feel about your children?"
"My son is the whineiest brat in the galaxy and I should have had him drowned at birth. Leia is my pride and joy, she has more cunning and brains than my son ever did."
There is sobbing heard from the audience and every one looks to see and hear Luke say, "My own Father! How could you? sniff sob I'm telling Obi- Wan on you!"
Luke runs out of the building in tears.
"Well," Warious says, "that was interesting. Okay, next is Maul. Maul, has there ever been a child in your life?"
"Does having to hunt down Queen Amidala count? How about Nemodians?"
"I suppose you could call Nemodians childish and Amidala was only 14 so yes tell us about them Maul."
"I would like to say first and foremost that I hate Nemodians! They whine more than Vader's son."
The audience members chuckle as Vader turns to Maul and says, "You really haven't met my son then."
Maul continues, "The Nemodians have nothing for brains and act like two- year-olds! AS for Amidala, she was a pretty girl, from what I saw. But that's all I know of child encounters."
"Okay, thank you Darth's Maul and Vader for sharing. We'll be right back after this."
"And we're back! Welcome to Dark Lords! In case you are just joining us we are talking about the children who have affected the lives of our Dark Lords. Now we will have Sidious speak about his experiences with children. Sidious?"
"Well Warious, I have had two children, you and Maul. But I think I'll start with Maul.
Maul was my very first apprentice." Sidious' eyes glaze over with a parental pride. "I was so excited when I found him. Here was a wonderful child just waiting for the right training in the Dark Side. Maul grew up under my careful guidance and instruction and was better than any other Sith apprentices in our history. He was obedient and never failed me. Until he got killed by that Jedi scum, Obi-Wan. He was my best apprentice ever."
Maul's eyes are filled with tears and said, "Master" affectionately and then hugged Sidious. The crowd, finding this endearing says, "Awwwwww."
When the two recovered Sidious continued, "My other child apprentice, that's you Warious, were also special to me. I remember as your father came to me and asked that you be given a place to be raised strong. I felt the force that was strong in you and took you in as my next apprentice. Like Maul, you have never failed me."
Warious blushes and says, "Thanks master." Warious clears her throat and then says, "Okay how about, Saruman next?"
"I have children." Saruman states proudly. "My fighting Uruk-Hai are my babies. I first created them for Sauron's army but soon I felt they were my own children. My pride and joy was Lurtz. My first and most perfect Uruk- Hai."
"What happened to him?" Darth Sidious asked.
"Aragorn killed him! I hate Aragorn for killing my starts sobbing my son!" Saruman breaks down and cries.
Warious, also close to tears says, "We'll be back with more Dark Lords after this."
"Welcome back! Now that we've all recovered from what little sentiment we possess we'll move on to Sauron. Sauron, have you had kids in your life?"
"Yes I have. You may have seen me with them on the news?"
"Like the balcony thing?" Tom Riddle asks.
Sauron looks slightly embarrassed, "Um, yeah. Any way, my other children are the orcs and werewolves. You can read the account of me and my children in the Elvish work called the Silmarillion. The orcs however are my first children."
"Awwww." (audience)
"Okay. Tom Riddle, have you had any kids in your life?"
"Yes. Harry Potter."
Warious and the other Sith lords hiss. Warious says, "Do not speak that vile name here! We Sith hate wizards. You and Saruman are here only because you have been called Dark Lords."
"Whatever. Anyway that is the only 'child problem' in my life. If any one is interested you can help think of ways to destroy him with me."
"Ooooooooooookay. Thank you Voldemort for sharing with us. Join us next time for more Dark Lords!
Tune in next time when Dark Lords share memories of their parents. Thank you again and buh-bye!"
Warious: Review me please.
"Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of Dark Lords! I'm your host, Darth Warious. Today on Dark Lords we will be seeing how children have affected our Dark Lords' lives. Everyone please welcome back our Dark Lords!"
Audience cheers wildly as the six Dark Lords walk out and sit on either side of Warious.
"Are you all ready to start talking candidly about the kids in your life?"
There is an unsure but collective nod from the Dark Lords.
"Good!" Warious says grinning. "We'll start with the galaxy's most well known dad in Dark Lord History, Darth Vader. Vady..."
"DON"T CALL ME VADY!"
The audience laughs as Warious continues, "Tell us about your kids, Luke and Leia."
"Ah, yes. Luke is my 20 year old son and he cut off my hand in a duel. He was trained by Obi-Wan, my old master and has a twin sister, Leia. Leia is my beautiful daughter and a very good politician."
"And how do you feel about your children?"
"My son is the whineiest brat in the galaxy and I should have had him drowned at birth. Leia is my pride and joy, she has more cunning and brains than my son ever did."
There is sobbing heard from the audience and every one looks to see and hear Luke say, "My own Father! How could you? sniff sob I'm telling Obi- Wan on you!"
Luke runs out of the building in tears.
"Well," Warious says, "that was interesting. Okay, next is Maul. Maul, has there ever been a child in your life?"
"Does having to hunt down Queen Amidala count? How about Nemodians?"
"I suppose you could call Nemodians childish and Amidala was only 14 so yes tell us about them Maul."
"I would like to say first and foremost that I hate Nemodians! They whine more than Vader's son."
The audience members chuckle as Vader turns to Maul and says, "You really haven't met my son then."
Maul continues, "The Nemodians have nothing for brains and act like two- year-olds! AS for Amidala, she was a pretty girl, from what I saw. But that's all I know of child encounters."
"Okay, thank you Darth's Maul and Vader for sharing. We'll be right back after this."
"And we're back! Welcome to Dark Lords! In case you are just joining us we are talking about the children who have affected the lives of our Dark Lords. Now we will have Sidious speak about his experiences with children. Sidious?"
"Well Warious, I have had two children, you and Maul. But I think I'll start with Maul.
Maul was my very first apprentice." Sidious' eyes glaze over with a parental pride. "I was so excited when I found him. Here was a wonderful child just waiting for the right training in the Dark Side. Maul grew up under my careful guidance and instruction and was better than any other Sith apprentices in our history. He was obedient and never failed me. Until he got killed by that Jedi scum, Obi-Wan. He was my best apprentice ever."
Maul's eyes are filled with tears and said, "Master" affectionately and then hugged Sidious. The crowd, finding this endearing says, "Awwwwww."
When the two recovered Sidious continued, "My other child apprentice, that's you Warious, were also special to me. I remember as your father came to me and asked that you be given a place to be raised strong. I felt the force that was strong in you and took you in as my next apprentice. Like Maul, you have never failed me."
Warious blushes and says, "Thanks master." Warious clears her throat and then says, "Okay how about, Saruman next?"
"I have children." Saruman states proudly. "My fighting Uruk-Hai are my babies. I first created them for Sauron's army but soon I felt they were my own children. My pride and joy was Lurtz. My first and most perfect Uruk- Hai."
"What happened to him?" Darth Sidious asked.
"Aragorn killed him! I hate Aragorn for killing my starts sobbing my son!" Saruman breaks down and cries.
Warious, also close to tears says, "We'll be back with more Dark Lords after this."
"Welcome back! Now that we've all recovered from what little sentiment we possess we'll move on to Sauron. Sauron, have you had kids in your life?"
"Yes I have. You may have seen me with them on the news?"
"Like the balcony thing?" Tom Riddle asks.
Sauron looks slightly embarrassed, "Um, yeah. Any way, my other children are the orcs and werewolves. You can read the account of me and my children in the Elvish work called the Silmarillion. The orcs however are my first children."
"Awwww." (audience)
"Okay. Tom Riddle, have you had any kids in your life?"
"Yes. Harry Potter."
Warious and the other Sith lords hiss. Warious says, "Do not speak that vile name here! We Sith hate wizards. You and Saruman are here only because you have been called Dark Lords."
"Whatever. Anyway that is the only 'child problem' in my life. If any one is interested you can help think of ways to destroy him with me."
"Ooooooooooookay. Thank you Voldemort for sharing with us. Join us next time for more Dark Lords!
Tune in next time when Dark Lords share memories of their parents. Thank you again and buh-bye!"
Warious: Review me please.
