Dark Lords episode 7 - Dark Lords Theme Songs.

Disclaimer: I don't own any songs mentioned here.
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The Imperial March is playing in the background as the camera starts to roll.

"Welcome to another exciting episode of Dark Lords! No, it's not 'Represent Your Political Affiliation Day.' Today we are going to give our Dark Lords Personalized theme songs! The Imperial March is playing as an overall theme for all our Dark Lords."

"Which also represents my Empire," Darth Sidious points out.

"I know Master Sidious. Let's start with you."

"Okay," Sidious replies. "What do you have in mind?"

"First I want you to describe yourself in three words. Based on those three words we'll find a song that fits you."

"Alright, let's see. Cunning, deceiving, and successful."

"Okay now we'll find a song for you."

A bunch of clicks is heard from the audience as they vote for the song used to describe Darth Sidious.

"Ah! Thank you for voting. It has been decided that you theme song will be John William's song 'Darth Sidious.' Track eleven on the first disk of the 'Ultimate Edition' of 'The Phantom Menace.'

Now how about Lord coughnotcough Voldemort? Describe yourself in three words please."

"Intelligent, skilled, and cunning." Voldemort replies as the audience gets to work giving their input.

A few seconds later the result is given to Darth Warious. "Thank you. Voldemort's theme song is...'Everybody's Fool' by Evanescence!"

"How does that song go?" Voldemort asked.

"Like this." Warious replies. "Okay sound-elf! Put it on!"

Haldir rolls his eyes and starts the C.D. player.

"Perfect by nature, icons of self-indulgence

Just what we all need

More lies about a world

That never was and never will be

Have you no shame, don't you see me?

You know you've got everybody fooled.

Look here she comes now -

Bow down and stare in wonder.

Oh, how we love you

No flaws when you're pretending

But now I know she -

Never was and never will be

You don't know how you betrayed me

And somehow you've got everybody fooled.

Without the mask

Where will you hide?

Can't find yourself,

Lost in your lies

I know the truth now

I know who you are

And I don't love you anymore

Never was and never will be

You don't know how you betrayed me

And somehow you've got everybody fooled.

Never was and never will be

You're not real and you can't save me

And somehow now you're everybody's fool."

The music ends and Voldemort speaks. "I don't like this song."

"Too bad," Darth Warious replies. "We'll be right back after this."

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"And we're back! I'm your host Darth Warious and if you are just joining us today we are giving out Dark Lords theme songs. Darth Vader, describe yourself in three words."

"Parent, pilot, and scary." Darth Vader replies as the audience goes to work.

"Well I have some good news and I have some bad news Vady."

"Don't call me that! What is it?"

"The bad news is that it really isn't a song."

"And the good news is?"

"It's the Pepsi theme." Warious replies.

"AWSOME!!!" Vader jumps up and down at getting his favorite drink for a theme song.

"SIT DOWN!" Darth Sidious roars at Vader.

Meekly Vader sits back down as Warious continues. "How about you Sauron? Three words."

"I have my own theme song thank you."

"We're giving you a new one Michael JackSauron." Warious retorts.

"Fine, be that way. Rich, powerful, and famous." Sauron replies.

A few minutes later...

"Your new theme song is 'Dude Looks Like a Lady'."

"HEY!" Sauron glares at the audience that is laughing at his expense.

"Thank you audience! I couldn't have picked a better song. We'll be right back after this..."

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"We're back! Thank you again to Éowyn Skywalker for sending us commercials. Remember you can advertise anything as long as it is rated G to PG-13. Now back to business. Saruman, describe yourself in three words please."

"I'm colorful, wise and powerful."

The audience votes and soon the results are given to Warious. "Saruman's new theme song is 'Isengard' from 'The Fellowship of the Ring' soundtrack!"

At this Saruman stands up and faces the audience. "You love me! You really sniff really love me!"

"All right! Sit down Saruman. Last is Darth Maul."

"I am fear, anger, and hate."

"Amen brother. Amen." Warious cheers.

The audience votes.

"And your new theme song is, 'Duel of the Fates" by John Williams."

"Ha! I got the best one out of all of you!" Darth Maul gloats.

"That's all for today. We'll see you next time on Dark Lords. Remember; give us your opinion of who should be recognized as a Dark Lord. Goodnight everyone!"

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A/N: Please review!