A/N: I don't own anything here except what happens and Darth Warious, myself, and the Dark Lords studio.
"Haldir? You don't own yourself. And you most certainly don't own me."
Awwww drat.
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
Dark Lords Episode 11 – Their Worst Enemies
"Hello and welcome back to Dark Lords. I'm Darth Warious and we're here with our Dark Lords and a nominated Dark lord from episode 9. Ladies and Germs please welcome back AGENT SMITH!"
Agent Smith in his usual attire comes out on stage and bows to the audience before taking his seat.
"Today's topic is worst enemies. This is where our Dark Lords tell us about them and why they are their enemies. We'll start with our guest, Agent Smith. Smith, who is your worst enemy and why?"
"Well as most of you know, my enemy is Neo Anderson. As for why, the real story starts at the end of The Matrix when Neo seemingly destroys me. Neither of us can exist while the other survives so I have to kill him for my survival and ultimately my victory over everything. However this has not happened as we both died in the end. I am here with you now only because Warious found my backup program."
"Thank you for sharing that with us Smith. Next we will have Darth Sidious. Sidious did you every really have an archenemy?"
"Not that I can recall Warious. Though if you count my term as Supreme Chancellor during the Clone Wars one might say Count Dooku was my enemy. The reason is because he was leading the separatist movement while I ran the failing republic. But because I was the one who mastermind the whole plan you can't really say we were enemies, only seen that way. Vader on the other hand was just a nuisance."
"You tried to kill my son. You left me no choice." Vader replied.
"Ah Vader, so nice of you to volunteer yourself."
Vader grumbled something about him and his big mouth before answering. "Back when I was a kid I used to podrace. There was another podracer named Sebulba. He and I were enemies. He always beat me at podracing until the time I raced for Qui-Gon. I'll never forget the look on Sebulba's face when I finally beat him." Vader leaned back in his chair and sighed contentedly with the memory. "Then I met you." He looked at Warious who only smiled sweetly and announced a commercial break.
"And now it's time for a commercial break."
See? What did I tell you?
"Haldir?"
Yes?
"Stop that."
Yes dear.
o.o.o.o.o.o
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"And we're back. Thank you to 'A Very Happy Person' for their commercial. If you're just joining us we are talking about our Dark Lord's worst enemies. Now it's Sauron's turn."
Sauron (who Michael Jackson really is underneath all those surgeries) grinned and replied, "I don't have a worst enemy."
Maul snickered and pressed a button on his comlink.
"Hey!" Warious protested, "No cell phones or comlinks during this show!"
But it's too late. Two Jedi master/padawan teams leap up onstage closely followed by the free peoples of Middle-earth. The female Jedi master, Jandalf the Orange, pointed at Sauron in the guise of Michael Jackson. "That's him! Get him!"
The people of Middle-earth swarm around Jackson/Sauron and carry him off the stage and out of the building.
"Ooooooookaaaaay." Warious said as Tiana, Jandalf's padawan, waved at the camera before following her master, Obi-wan and Anakin out of the building. "That was interesting, so much for having no enemies."
"You only asked if he had one, Darth Warious," Agent Smith spoke up. "It seems to me he wasn't lying. He had many."
The remaining Dark Lords snickered as Warious continued.
"Since Darth Maul caused our last disturbance, he will go next."
"My greatest enemy is and always has been the Jedi. As for the why, everyone knows about the enmity between the Jedi and the Sith."
"No, not everyone here knows the SW plotline my dear brother."
"From the beginning of the Sith's creation we have always been at odds with the Jedi. That is why. If anyone wants to know more, join the Darkside."
"Thank you Maul. It's time for another commercial break don't go away or will choke you with the darkside.
o.o.o.o.o.o
Fiction add:
Have you ever dreamed of seeing me, Lord Voldemort, be an alter ego?
Read all about it on the Harry Potter story board at fanfiction. net to see a crazed writer have me as an alter ego! It's spectaculously stupid, according to the Diagon Alley Times.
o.o.o.o.o.
"Thank you to Blossoming Orange rose for her commercial. Now on to the very subject matter of the commercial, Voldemort. Now Voldy please don't use that kid's name here if that's who you're going to talk about."
"As a matter of fact he isn't who I was going to talk about," Voldemort replied.
"Well then who?"
"His name is Albus Dumbldore. He's an old wizard and stinkin' strong when we fight. He's the main person keeping me from Ha...(Volde sees all the glares coming from the Sith)...that boy."
"Very fascinating. Not. Last but not least Saruman. Who is or was your worst enemy?"
"It's been a long time since I thought about that. The end of the third age didn't happen last night you know. In the end of it all, I would have to say my own servant was my worst enemy. Grima Wormtongue really was a traitor. Stabbing me in front of the hobbits like that." Saruman replied.
"And if some of you have no idea of what he's talking about, go read 'Return of the King' by J.R.R. Tolkien. Not skipping parts because it is a good book and you people should read it. Well that's all for this show. I hope you enjoyed it and remember to come back next time when we have special guest "Swedish Chief!"
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A/N: Please review!
