Disclaimer: I own Darth Warious and the altered songs.
I do not own the Grinch (he belongs to Dr. Seuss)
I do not own any of the Dark Lords, Joker, Middle-earth, or Maximillion Pegasus
Dark Lords Episode 12 - A Christmas Special
o.o.o.o
"Hello everyone! We are here live in Gotham city for the first of three caroling stops of this special edition of Dark Lords. Yes I realize that Dark Lords do not necessarily like to be merry and of good cheer which is why I've taken the liberty of changing the words to some of the songs."
"Hello kiddies!" Joker says poking his head out of the warehouse door. "Warious what are you doing here?"
"Caroling" Maul groans before Darth Warious could answer.
"Oh, how um, nice…" Joker replies in his not-so-sure voice.
"Ready guys?"
There are collective groans from the Dark Lords except for Warious and Vader. (Mainly because Vader was upset at an upcoming song 'in his honor' that he was most unhappy about.)
"You're a mean one Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
And as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
" Stink, stank, stunk!"
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!"
Most of the Dark Lords were okay with this song and so preformed okay-ish.
"Well, that was nice, "Joker calls after the leaving Dark Lords. "Don't come back next year!"
"Okay Uncle J, we'll be there!" Darth Warious calls back over her shoulder. "Next stop Minas Tirith!"
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
Bored with being beaten all the time? Especially by someone who is a LOT younger than you? Now you can finally defeat them with the Hand
Buzzer!! Just place the Hand Buzzer in your hand, and when they touch your hand, BZZT! M, toast! Package them up in a toast package and ship them off to a grocery store. Who ever eats them, too bad! Methods of buzzing not included. Trademark of Blossoming Orange Rose.
O.o.o.o.o.o.
"Thank you to Blossoming Orange Rose. We are here on the top level of Minas Tirith. The Citadel guards seem to be nervous despite my assurances that we are here to sing for them. Ah! Here comes Aragorn and Arwen. Everybody ready? Vader, come down to the front."
"Vader
the Sith Lord, was a jolly happy soul,
With a long black cape and
a obsidian mask, and two eyes made of coal.
Vader the Sith Lord,
is a fairytale, they say.
He was made of gears, but the children
know he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in
that old saber they found,
For when they placed it in his hand, he
began to dance around!
Oh, Vader the Sith Lord, was a live as he
could be;
and the children say he could laugh and play,
just
the same as you and me.
Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump,
thump,
look at Vader go.
Thumpety thump, thump, thumpety thump,
thump,
over the hills of snow."
Darth Vader was now feeling rather murderous and unhappy in that order. Darth Sidious and Maul were trying very hard to not laugh.
"Vader
the Sith Lord, knew the Jedi was out that day,
so he said,"
Reluctantly Darth Vader sang, "Let's run, and we'll have some fun now, before I go away."
"Down
to the village, with a lightsaber in his hand,
Running here and
there, all around the square,
sayin',
Vader
heaved a sigh and sang, "Catch me if you can."
He led
them down the streets of town, right to the traffic cop;
and only
paused a moment, when he heard him holler, "Stop!"
(but
that was more Aragorn covering his ears and saying 'stop' but we
went on)
For Vader the Sith Lord, had to hurry on his way,
But
he waved goodbye, sayin'
Darth Vader rolled his eyes and sang "Don't you die, I'll be back again some day."
Warious and the Dark Lords had to run after that because the guards had finally recovered from their shock and/or fits of laughter.
"Last stop is Duelist Kingdom to serenade Maximillion Pegasus!"
o.o.o.o.o.o.
Are you tired of throwing rings into fires to see if they are 'The One Ring'? Do you wish there was an easier way to reveal those elvish letters? Well, then look nowhere else, and invest in the Decode-A-Ring Ring burner. Found at Rings'R'Us's everywhere, batteries not included.
o.o.o.o.o.o.
"Once again thank you to Éowyn Skywalker for sending in commercials. We are here at Duelist Kingdom in front of Pegasus' castle. Here he come now."
"Greetings Darth Warious, I see you got my invitation."
"Hi Max. Thanks for inviting us. But before we come in there is a song for us to sing."
"Oh really?" Maximillion Pegasus said with a smile. "Then please go ahead and sing."
Because this was the one song every Dark Lord liked they were all on key.
"Slay sounds ring, can you hear them
In the lane, steel is glistening
A horrible sight, we're busy tonight
Walking in a Mordor wonderland
Gone away, are the Elven
Here to stay, is the White Hand
He makes an army, like Sauron decreed
Walking in a Mordor wonderland
In the meadow we can build Uruk-Hai
Then send them to over run the town
He'll say "have you killed yet?" we'll say "no sir"
But we can do the job while we're around
Later on, we'll conspire, as they burn, in the fire
To face unafraid, the traps that we've laid
Walking in a Mordor wonderland
In the meadow we can fight Gondor
And pretend that they're a Target board
We'll have lots of fun with mister Gondor
Until there is no more to knock around
When they come, ain't it thrilling
And their blood gets a chilling
We'll fight and we'll slay, the Uruk-Hai way
Walking in a Mordor wonderland
Walking in a Mordor wonderland
Walking in a Mordor wonderland"
Pegasus applauded. "Wonderful. Now come inside. I have food and a Funny Bunny movie set up for tonight." Then pointing at Voldemort, Pegasus asked, "Warious, how did you get a duel monster to come to life?"
Voldemort looked offended as the others snickered.
"That's Voldemort. Not a duel monster. Just ignore him. He's one of those nasty wizards. You said something about food?"
As the Dark Lords entered Pegasus' home Warious turned back to the camera. "Thank you for joining us for another episode of Dark Lords. Tune in next time and Merry Christmas!"
O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
A/n: Please review.
