Second Best
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I stand on the side and I watch your amber eyes soften as you stare into her lovely eyes. I never see your eyes soften when you look at me. Why Inuyasha? Why do you choose her over me? You bend down and scoop her into your arms so tenderly, and I see your eyes brimming with tears as you observe the cuts and bruises her body supports. Why, Inuyasha? Why do your eyes reflect the pain you feel in your heart as you inspect her beaten body? Why do I never see your eyes shimmer with regret whenever I receive painful blows to my body?
My heart palpitates furiously as I see you reach out and brush a wayward strand of hair from her sickly pale face that tells us of death. Her tight smile ellicits one from your own face. Why do you never smile whenever I smile at you. All my smiles are reserved for you, but you ignore them and wave them aside. Whenever you know that she's in danger, you rush to her side and risk your life for her. I know that you protect me, and I know that you're hurt countless times because of me, but whenever she's around, you leave me alone to fend for myself. Why? Why do you always leave my side when I need you the most? Why do you leave me for her? I always lose you to her. What does she have that I don't?
I feel tears welling up in my eyes as I see you wrap your arms around her shaking body and pull her into a warm embrace. You never hold me as if I'm the most important person in the world to you. You do pull me into a hug occasionally, I'm not denying that, but your embrace is not as warm and loving as the one you give her, and when she's around, you neglect me. You push me away carelessly and wander towards her like a zombie. Why? How can she so effortlessly capture your heart? I make such an effort just to befriend you, yet she can steal your heart without even trying.
The salty liquid roll down my cheeks and I collapse to the ground, my body quivering from my silent sobs. My fists beat the ground in an effort to relieve myself of the frustration I feel. I give up my attempt of ridding myself of these horrible feelings as a sharp ache shoot through my body. I look down at my hands covered in dirt, and I see scarlet fluid slowly trickling down and feeding the soil.
I glance up and I see Kikyo in Naraku's arms and I see you chasing after them until you're pushed back by an invisible force. You swing Tetsusaiga in frustration, but soon you give up and watch their retreating backs with remorse on your face. I see you mutter something and I know that you're vowing to yourself that you will slay Naraku and bring Kikyo back.
Your shoulders sag as you drag yourself back towards us. I quickly wipe my tears away and plaster a smile on my face; I force myself to sound cheerful as I exclaim, "Hey, Inuyasha." You glance at me with eyes that say 'Leave me alone'. I take a step back and I feel my head dip down so you won't see my eyes brimming with tears of bitterness. I blink my eyes to rid myself of the liquid. Then, I feel warmth seeping through my skin, so I look down and I see you caressing my bleeding hands. You look at me with concern, and you ask me, "Does it hurt? What happened? Are you okay?" I pause, and turn towards you with a smile. You pull me into your chest and I rest my head against your shoulder.
I know you care about me. I know that whenever I'm hurt or when I'm in need of help, you'll be there for me. I know that I have a place in your heart. But when Kikyo's around, you'll always go to her first. When Kikyo is here, you choose to protect her instead of me. When Kikyo is near, your heart yearns for her instead of mine. When Kikyo's around, I'm always in the shadows; when she's around, to you, Inuyasha, I'm only second-best.
