To add insult to injury, she'd summoned me in a broom closet.

A fucking broom closet.

The best place she could find to summon me on short notice.

A broom closet.

She totally hated me.

She led me out of the broom closet through the halls of Asgard's royal palace.

I am disgusted.

I am revolted.

I dedicate my life to our god and savior the Author and this is the thanks I get-?!

She checked the adjoining hallway for any passersby. As that happened I was deactivating the Night Mistress suit. It was shifting me back into my business clothes.

When no one walked by, River grabbed my arm. "Come on." She dragged me down the hallway.

"You don't have to jerk me around." I scolded. "It's not my fault you didn't learn the banish counter."

River dropped my arm. I still followed closely after her.

"You need to tell me the BS."

"I'm not telling you shi-"

"Backstory. I need the backstory." I corrected. "You can't just drag me around Asgard without me wondering why you're here."

River scoffed. "I don't have to tell you anything." She held up an arm, stopping me. "You're not going to need it."

"I can end your birth." I snapped off.

"You could try." River replied, brushing off the threat. Well didn't that just make me want to step it up...if she wasn't right. I wasn't gonna undo her birth- then I would never get the chance to annoy her so much. "I don't see why you need it. You'll not be leaving my quarters."

"You have rooms?!"

"Guest quarters." River replied with a heavy roll of her eyes.

"Phew...I don't need another weird family tree for you." I grimaced. River held up her hand, stopping us at another turn. I quieted- waiting for a signal.

Two maids walked down the hall. Once they passed us, River began dragging me along. I made sure to keep my footing quiet as we walked down the hall. Going on enough heists taught you when to shut up.

As we walked farther up, I walked closer to River with a whisper. "Usually they give rooms to foreign dignitaries..." River said nothing. "If you think I won't go snooping around your rooms to find out answers-"

"I hate you and the day you were born." River replied. "I'll tie you to a chair."

"I'll talk to the first maid that comes in."

"Not if I tell them they can't."

"You really think that would stop maids from sneaking in?"

"Maids on Asgard are much more obedient than maids on Earth."

"Then they'll tell other people that would break in. I'd tell them-"

"What? What would you tell them? You would never let yourself be caught in a lie."

"But I would keep talking anyway. To make you look bad, of course."

"Again, cursing the day you were born."

"That day was already cursed, sweetheart."

River glared. "Don't you throw that back-" She stopped herself. She pushed me up against the wall, holding her hand over my mouth. I silenced myself.

Two maids walked down the adjoining hall. Both of them with their backs to us. Somehow, both completely missing whatever this must look like.

River let me down with a tired groan. "I hate this. I hate you. I hate this entire month."

"You've been here a month, and you took you until now to call me?"

"There hasn't been time!" River countered. She let out a sigh. "Morgan I need help. Please."

With that, all the fight was taken from me. She needed help. My anger could be set aside- restarted at a later date. Right now, someone needs help.

River moved my hand. "Tell me who I'm helping." I requested.

The archeologist sighed. She let me down from the wall. "Let's go." She walked me down another hall. "My rooms aren't far."

She said she wasn't in the Odin family- good because I couldn't take the mental strain of her being related to them- but she didn't deny being a foreign dignitary.

"Whose rooms?" I prompted.

River tensed her hand in our hold. "The Lady Freyja, of the Vanir."

I blinked. "Shut. Up."

"I don't get it either-"

"You don't know who Freyja is, do you?" I asked, shaking my head at her. Asgard was wasted on her. "For shame."

"I wouldn't need to know if someone hadn't sent me here in the first place!" River reminded me. She glared at me from over her shoulder.

'Another excellent point- blast!'

"Who is she, then?" River asked, clearly caving in.

"Goddess of love. Associated with sexuality, fertility, as well as sorcery, war, and death. She had first dibs on the bodies of the fallen-"

"She has her fingers in a lot of pies." River noted.

"She is from the Vanir, gifted to Asgard to solidify the truce." River tilted her head. "War hostage."

"Lovely. I'm a war hostage. Anything else?" River prompted.

"Chariot pulled by cats, or rides a battle pig. A hog, as it were. Some suspected it was her lover too."

"She rides her lover in public? My, my." River praised. "I'm impressed."

'Not surprising- since you're her in this world.'

"I can't believe you know all of this. You must really like Rick Riodian novels."

"Who?"

"You know-" River stopped us just in front of a door. "The author who wrote all those books about Norse gods. Dad was obsessed with them."

"He does?!" I gawked. "That is the best news I've ever heard in my life. Back home, buying those the first chance I get."

River had been reaching for her door. She stopped at my comment. "Hold on...you didn't know about that?"

"Yeah."

"Then...why did you know all of that?"

"I looked it up...for fun."

"Why? Why do that to yourself?" River questioned.

"Why does your mom like Romans?" I countered.

Disgusted with me, River opened the door.

Yes. Yes. Be disgusted.

Be horrified.

Soon, when I'm through helping you

It'll be the least of your worries.

The room looked quite lovely, if you had a gold fetish. Last I checked I did not have the gold-sickness, so I was fine.

The walls were covered in gold, or perhaps child coloring. There was dark furniture, most likely on River's request. Touches of blue were on the ceilings and curtains. A style choice, or one of Vanir? She had bookcases full of old worn books, and trinkets of various shapes. Some of them were odd even by my standards.

This was just the sitting room, or the solar. I couldn't see the bedroom itself, or whatever else they had for guest rooms for dignitaries. Not did I really want to see them, as I would have to find my way out of here.

I walked up to the bookshelf. River pushed me towards a door.

"Hey!"

"No time." She threw open the door to what turned out to be her bedroom. Something lavish, with a princess draped bed and a large wooden wardrobe. "You can't be seen here in that. You have to change."

"Why?!"

"Tell me...does Lady Freyja have any handmaidens?"

Vengeance.

River you cruel heartless bitch

I will get vengeance for this.

==L==

She had left me to dress myself.

Now I knew that sometimes it was good to ask for help. Not to be dramatic, but I would rather die than ask River Song.

I pulled out my comm link from my suit. "Happy?" There was static, hinting that there was no radio connection. "Oh Happy's in a bad mood."

Man, this was gonna be a lot of paperwork when I went back to LA. Granted, FRIDAY could do my work for me in the long run, she had my electronic signature. Happy would probably have a tracker installed in my skin. Tony would build it for him. Nick Fury would probably support it with SHIELD, hell he'd get Coulson to help!

Fuck that's bad.

Fuck this is irritating

Fuck Future Me for bringing me to River's place

Or Lady Freyja. Double Fuck Me that she gets the cool Norse mythology backstory and she doesn't get any of it. It's shit.

Also I little more than not fair on fate itself

But mostly fuck her.

Also fuck this dress. Who the fuck designed Asgardian wear, tetris boards?!

After a long time of trial and error the dress was on. It apparently had layers. A rose pink first layer, a red dress for a second layer, and a robe that was a dark shade of purple. Fucking Freyja themed layers. I hated it more than I hated this situation my future self dragged me into.

"Are you done yet?"

"Done with your attitude." I snarked back. Tying the robe shut, I walked out from the screen cover.

River was reclining on a couch in the sitting room by the door. She was turning through the pages of an ancient looking Asgardian text. "You never told me if Freyja had handmaids."

"She doesn't." I replied, stern. "The closest equivalent she has is that she has dibs on half the Valkyries-"

"Oh them? I heard they were dead." River mused, idly turning the page.

"They are? Aww, that's upsetting." I frowned. "Technically Freyja gets dibs on half-"

River dropped her book in her lap. She gave me a deadpan look to shut up. That wasn't a great look. She stole it from her mother. I feared being on the other side of that look someday. Amy Pond wasn't a scary ginger for nothing. She gave it all to River Song. For putting up with the Doctor, you had to learn that.

"How can you not care about that?" I asked her, disappointed in her. "It's a fact about yourself in this world."

She was always like this. She never wanted to look into why exactly things fell apart. She just wanted to stop it. There wasn't any fun in just stopping things without understanding it. You think it would be something she learned, because the first time I met her that was how she'd died.

"I don't care how she lived before I was here, or how she 'might've' lived in your folklore." River replied. "I want to know facts. The important facts. Including: her handmaids. Like I asked."

Author she was so annoying.

"She does, they were never named. Like all the others." I stated. In truth my research hadn't had anything. Most servants were just devotees. It would've been nice to have more names to find, like there are in Greek/Roman myths, but I'm not that lucky apparently. "I can take the name of a Valkyrie...if they're actually dead, I mean."

"From what I've heard, the answer is yes." River stated. "Thor wholloped a man last week for implying Sif would 'end up like the rest of the Valkyrie' if she kept on with her training."

I whistled. Pre-movie Thor was a dick, good to know he at least defended his friends.

River sat up. She dropped her book haphazardly onto the table. I squeaked in fear as dust came off the book, momentarily thinking she had ruined it. Oh she better not have. I'll kill her if she'd ruined Asgardian books. I'd tell Twilight, final see murder in her eyes that wasn't aimed my way.

"You don't need a fake name." River groaned with a long tired argument. "Just use yours."

"You know I don't like doing that." I scolded her.

River rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know. Terra Johnson, Last Time Lady in existence. Or did you prefer Stardust? You never answered the question. Did you want to go by Oil again? That worked so well for you last time."

"Fuck you and your questions." I spat at her.

She dared.

She dared bring up the time she left me alone.

Threw herself into death rather than be around me anymore.

Left me without anyone else like me for seventy-three years.

She's rubbing it in my face like it was my fault.

She dared.

After she took away the last thing of good that I had, she mocked my solitude.

Darcy was dead. River was mocking me. Taking away my sister's job. She- she didn't get to do that. Nobody got to do that. Darcy should be doing this.

Why didn't you warn me

You saw me

You were in Equestria and you saw me

You could have warned me

It was literally two weeks later

Why didn't you warn me?

I shifted into my Night Mistress suit. River Song rolled her eyes, no doubt thinking I was being over the top dramatic. She didn't get to be a bitch about this. The one thing she always listened to was fighting, so fighting she would get.

Someone let themselves into the rooms. "Lady Freyja! I have good news-"

I rapidly pulled my staff out, aiming it at the lightning god before I could realize that indeed it was the lightning god.

"One more step this goes up your-oh hey it's you."

Thor Odinson stood in front of me, looking ever so much like an asshole I'm surprised there wasn't an apple in his hand.

"Odinson." Came my unpleasant greeting. "The future King one."

The Prince glared down his nose. "And who are you? Why are you threatening me with this...stick?"

"You're the one storming in here-" I began to yell.

River walked up beside me. She gestured with her hand to me, though she was clearly still shocked at the bomb I dropped. "Uh, Prince Thor, let me assure you that Queen Morgan Stardust means you know harm. We were in the middle of a...discussion when you walked in. It was tense." River corrected.

What the fuck did she just call me

Not only my real name but that bullshit?

"I will murder you in the painful way you can imagine." I reminded her.

River just smiled at me. "You see? Tense."

"I will murder you twice."

"Ah yes. Loki had said you were inviting a guest." Thor noted. "All the better than I get to meet her. This is my crowning we are celebrating." He smiled too wide, every part of him just full of boasting energy that sucked the light out of those around him to add to his own hype. "He did not mention it was a queen." Thor eyed me in a way that had me tightening my fist on the bo staff. "I have not heard of you."

"She is from outside the Nine." River lied for me.

"Haven't you 'helped' enough?" I snapped at her.

"Loki had said she was from Midgard."

"Yes, she is." River winced as I glared over my shoulder at her. Did she just give these bastards all of it?! "But not from this Midgard. It was another from-"

"Ah! Then it is good fortune we were introduced, Queen of Midgard." Thor boasted. He puffed up his chest. "I can introduce you to the glory of the Realms of Asgard!"

No.

Fuck no.

Fuck all of this.

"Are we done here?" I asked, impatient.

"What?"

"Lady Freyja and I were doing stuff before you barged in. I'd really like to continue that...discussion." I told him. Thor stuck around. "In private?"

"Then finish your business so I would begin your tour. It was only right that a queen be welcomed by the royal family." Thor looked over my suit. "Perhaps you should change. These garments are unbefitting any Queen. My mother would agree."

I would rather eat broken glass

Then hang around Pre-movie Thor any longer.

"Prince Thor, the discussion was actually about that. Could you leave so she could change?" River asked.

I clicked a button on my belt. The suit shrunk away, combining with tech and spells to pack itself away. I glared once more at River over my shoulder at the multi-layered clothes coming back over me.

"I'm done here." I informed them both. "Laters."

Before either of them could say anything, I stormed out.

With that I walked around the Thunder God, marching off in what I assumed was the direction of the library.

==L==

After asking a few servants I found the library. Twilight Sparkle was going to be jealous of it, so I took a dozen pictures of the shelves before moving on to the books themselves. She would be both proud and jealous of it all. She would love seeing how this reality handled magic, how they worked out their spells, it would make her head explode in joy.

The language was what I assumed was a written All-speak, Asgardian, and other languages of the Nine-Realms. None of which I remember from Earth. The elven books I vaguely remembered from a class I took on them some time ago. The wording was about art so I reasoned it as no help to me.

It took maybe two hours before I had a table covered in books. I was thinking about a translation spell- thinking about checking my Bag for an English book to translate from (the spell required a source of the language you wanted to translate). I was pulling out another book to use- more to add on in case all the books I grabbed were useless-when I saw him.

Loki.

I was pulling out another book to translate. The space behind it was empty to show off his face. I pushed the book back in before he could see me. My proudest thing was not gasping when I saw him.

'Okay. Okay. Don't geek out, Spencer. Don't be weird. The absolute worst thing you could do is be weird. And mention his heritage. Or kill him. Okay there are a lot of bad things you could do but being weird is top of the list.'

So I took a deep breath to calm down. 'Just say hello. That's all you have to do. Just say hello to Prince Loki of Asgard. Just one word. Then when he says hi back, just introduce yourself and politely move on. No need to linger or he'll think you're weird.'

Plan settled, I braced myself. Walking around the large bookcase I saw him hunched over a book. To the outside eye he was casually reading, tracing his finger along the text. To a proper reader you could see his complete focus on the book, how fast the finger moved along the page as he absorbed the words as he sought what was important.

'Stay calm, Spencer. You're staring at him. That's weird!'

Taking a step forward, I realized my hands were weird. They were just fiddling in the air. So I put them in my pockets.

"H-"

Loki turned round to me, aiming a dagger at my throat. I kept myself stiff, unflinching at nearly getting my throat slashed. My own hands went to grab at my bo staff, if only to whack Loki upside his head. I stopped short of actually grabbing it.

There was a moment of silence as Loki and I observed each other. Loki was Tom's height, a high 6'2. It was practically towering my 5'9.

Loki eyed me warily. He was still keeping the dagger on me. "There's not many that can sneak up on me." Loki stated.

"Sorry. I have quiet feet." I admitted, my voice soft and apologetic. Once you learned how to teleport, or at least hover, it was so much easier to startle people.

"Who are you?" Loki demanded. "I haven't seen you in these halls before."

"What? Did I sneak into your library?" I asked. He narrowed his eyes. "No shame! I've got a librarian friend so I get the rage!"

Loki moved the knife closer.

I side stepped it. After living with Darcy, avoiding knives was a reflex. "Prince Loki, this was not how I imagined meeting you."

"How rude of me." He moved with me, blocking my exit with another knife aimed at me. Yes I could easily avoid it but...well that meant leaving. "You know my name, yet I have no recollection of your's." Loki replied in a cool tone. It slid on my skin like Asgardian silk.

"Morgan." I heard myself saying. Why. Why am I like this?! I just took River's side. Fuck everything. "Hello."

"Morgan? Queen Morgan?" Loki suddenly turned red. It was a shade I hadn't seen on the prince before, at least the version on screen. It was a decent look on him, made him look really, really cute. "She truly found you?"

"Yep. She did. She really did. Nice to meet you, Prince Loki." I tilted my head, giving him a cheeky smile. "Mind moving that knife now?" I teased.

Loki quickly pulled the blade back. He magicked it away. Not going to deny I relaxed at that. "Lady Freyja called you a fierce warrior, more fearsome than any foe Midgard had ever seen. It must be lucky that you have not cut me down already. My apologies, Your Majesty, I meant no offense." Loki apologized.

"No, no. It's alright." I assured him. "Knives are aimed at me all the time. At least this one was cute." 'Whelp...just said that. That came out of my mouth. Author's Byline, why was I given the power of speech?!'

Loki seemed to have no way of handling that comment either. He eyed me with more caution. He shook off the tension in his body, adjusting his Asgardian garb as he did so.

Not gonna lie, I couldn't look away.

Just a tiny bit of collarbone had been exposed.

"What brought you to the library?" Loki inquired.

"Trying to get home." I admitted. Dammit, Loki was too good at this. Right now I would tell him anything. Passcodes on my phone, deep memories I hid away, my magical travels, anything. "Asgard is great. I just wasn't expecting to be brought here."

Loki looked at the pile of books. "She brought you here without telling you beforehand?"

"She's a bitch like that." I explained. "Wasn't expecting it. Now I want to go home."

"Freyja explained you could travel between worlds." Loki noted.

I rolled my eyes. "Well yes but...it doesn't work the way the Bifrost does. My...my powers don't work like that. I can only move beyond the Nine, outside of it. It won't take me back to your Midgard, which is kinda where I wanna go."

"If I had known Freyja would trouble you so, I would not have asked her." Loki explained.

Shaking my head, I gave him a nonchalant smile. "It's fine, it's fine. She just...she just surprised me. I can still go home it would...it'll probably take a lot of math, and spellwork. Just know it's hard. Like, 'I'd be here a week before I got close to home' hard."

Loki hummed. As he stood there, thoughtful, I fought to keep myself from staring at him. He was just so...beautiful.

My hands glowed in yellow magic. I took a deep breath, keeping it contained. The magic floated over to the books I had moved about, as well as the ones on the desk. They floated up, back to where I had taken them. "It's a spell to return books to their proper place. My librarian friend uses it all the time to rearrange her library." I leaned towards him. "Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I use it in my friend's library just to see her scramble to find the problem. She knows something is wrong but she can't see what!"

Loki's green eyes glinted. It made me fall even further for him. "Impressive." He praised with a smile.

As the last book was put away, I smiled at him. "I get the distinct feeling you're smooth talking me for answers." I noted. "Answers about what, something Lady Freyja has said? Do I need to worry about what she's signed me up for?"

Loki did not deny it. His smile only became more full of mischief. Aha...

"Those books will be useless." Loki admitted. He glanced around the library for others. When no one was in sight, he took a step closer to me. Basically made my heart race. "Would you like to know a secret?"

'Yes! Just keep talking to me. Anything you say is the best thing I've ever heard ever.'

"Yes." Being able to say that with a straight face made me feel like a warrior.