Freyja didn't think I should be out of the healing halls yet. That was her problem, not mine. Given my history I knew better than her what magic depletion did to me. Frankly, I'm impressed that I was able to do Equestrian Magic in the MCU. Should I tell Twilight? She might really like that.
On second thought, no. She would love it. She would love it so much that she would want to test out all the things I could do in her basement.
If Darcy were around, she'd make jokes about that. I wanted to make them too. The two of us, laughing about Twilight dragging me to her basement for the Author knows what. I rolled my eyes too at the sex jokes Darcy would've made.
Her laughter was echoing in my head...this sort of chortle with a snort. Our laughter was a dorky kind of laugh. I missed hearing it from her. Hearing it in quiet moments, the knowing look she would give me. More often than not, we'd be thinking about the same joke. Sick minds, the two of us.
Speaking of sick minds that need counselling...Loki.
He was clearly, clearly struggling. I insisted on leaving the healing hall for that reason alone. I wasn't going to leave him alone against the Warriors and Sif. In his state he doesn't deserve that.
Freyja stuck by my side in the room. It's not that I didn't appreciate it...but I don't appreciate it. Give me some space, woman, before I throw you into space!
Hogan was tending to the warming fire, moving the hot stones about to keep it breathing. Volstagg was being tended with his wound, applying a salve. Though the healing halls could do much, apparently a freezer burn would take more care than a stab wound in terms of healing. Fandral was already standing, lightly pacing around the couches. Sif sat down, a pensive look on her face.
Loki couldn't decide if he wanted to have a full on breakdown or start running. He was anxiously tapping his fingertips to his palm, constantly glancing my way.
I sat because Freyja insisted I not overexert myself. Like she knew anything about magic exhaustion.
"We should never have let him go." Volstagg stated.
"There was no stopping him." Sif sighed, shaking her head.
"At least he's only banished, not dead." Fandral reminded them all. "Which is what we'd all be if that guard hadn't told Odin where we'd gone."
I looked up at Loki. Our eyes met. He quickly looked away, staring with worry at his open palm. My own hands clenched, fighting the urge to pull at my hair.
Hogun took control of applying the salve. Volstagg winced at the care. He huffed in annoyance, glaring out. "How did the guard even know?" Volstagg asked, yelping in frustration.
Loki snapped his head up. The fire made it easier to see the restrained tears in his eyes. They were watering. "I told him." He pretended to never even be worried about that hand.
The Warriors 3 and Sif gawked at him. All four looked at him with betrayal.
"Well thank you, Loki." I immediately told him. I elbowed Freyja.
Freyja grumbled, giving a brief roll of her eyes. "I suppose you have my thanks as well."
The praise gave Loki no help. If anything, it made him more nervous and anxious.
"What?" Fandral was the first of the others to get their voice back.
"I told him to go to Odin after we'd left." Loki admitted. "He should be flogged for taking so long. We should have never reached Jotunheim."
"You told the guard?" Volstagg yelled out, enraged.
Bastards
Bastards all of you
"I saved our lives. And Thor's." Loki said this with no joy. Every word said in a monotone that I'd come to recognize as shock. He was going to come out soon. It wouldn't be pretty for anyone. "I had no idea Father would banish him for what he did."
Sif stood up. I did as well. Despite seeing the film myself, I was more worried here that Sif would lash out at Loki. Her past behavior gave me no reason to suspect otherwise. Freyja tried to get me to sit back down. I knocked her hand back.
"Loki...you must go to the Allfather, and convince him to change his mind!" Sif instructed. I wanted to scoff at her. What right did she have to make such demands? After all the damage that Thor just unleashed, that we saw him unleash?
"And if I do, then what?" Loki challenged. Sif gave no answer. "I love Thor more dearly than any of you, but you know what he is. He's arrogant, he's reckless, he's dangerous!" You saw how he was today! Is that what Asgard needs from its King?" With a harsh glare to the Warriors, Loki stormed out.
I knew where he was going. What kind of person would just leave him alone through that? I went after him, ignoring Freyja's calls.
He needs me right now, Freyja
I'm not leaving him with Odin as the only person in the room
L=
Should River even be surprised that Morgan went running off after him?
"He speaks of the good of Asgard but he's always been jealous of Thor." Sif told the Warriors.
"You've just upset he wouldn't do as you commanded." River countered.
Sif glared at River. River wished she had a gun. It would take care of this problem quicker than Asgardian weapons. Morgan would help cover it up too. "Loki is fully able to go to the Allfather. This mess was his doing, he should be the one to bring Thor back."
"You hypocrites!" River yelled, shaking her head in disbelief. Watching all they were saying and doing, she was surprised Morgan hadn't tried killing them yet. "All of you, hypocrites! You were just praising the speed in which we were discovered, thankful that Odin saved our sorry selves. Now you condemn Loki for making sure we were saved? The man has just lost his brother. Have a damned bit of sympathy!"
"You are Vanir, you do not understand the ways of Asgard." Sif dismissed.
"Hogun is as Vanir as I, are you saying this of him too?" River countered. The Warriors all darted eyes to each other, clearly worried about that implication.
"No! Hogun has fought for Asgard, as a proper warrior should." Sif insisted.
"I mean...we should be grateful to him. He did save our lives..." Volstagg noted.
"Laufey said there were traitors in the House of Odin." Hogun reminded them. "A master of magic could bring three Frost Giants into Asgard."
And a master of magic gif them out of Asgard, without a single life being taken.
"I can't believe I'm hearing this." Freyja growled. "I can't believe I'm about to say this- Loki saved our lives. My friend nearly died keeping you idiots safe." She scoffed, sneering down her nose at the Warriors and Sif. "We should be thankful to him instead of cursing at him- something you all did before learning it was Loki that saved us. Again, hypocrites!"
River couldn't stay in a room with this many stupid people. It was bound to get one of them killed. She stormed out of the room without once looking back.
"She's right. Loki's always been one for mischief but you're talking about something else entirely!"
Well only one of them had a brain between his skull. Pity that his blood was always rushing south or he would actually prove useful.
L=
Loki knew I was following him. The doors to the Vault opened on his command. As he approached the Casket, I paid no mind to all the other trinkets in here. None of them mattered. Loki's condition was my only priority here.
He reached for the sides. I walked towards him, reaching my hand out.
"Stop." He ordered.
I pulled my hands back, holding them up. "Okay. Okay- whatever you say. You're calling the shots here. I won't touch you."
Loki didn't even send a glare my way, or look mg direction. He kept his focus on the Casket.
"Loki? Mind telling me where your head's at?" I asked.
"You saw what happened." Loki hissed. "I am a traitor. I'm a monster."
"I saw no monster, all I saw was a Jötunn." I told him. Loki tensed, his hands clenching and unclenching by his sides. "You didn't know, then?"
"No." Loki answered. He reached for the Casket again.
I walked up to him, careful not to set him off. The last thing this situation needed was more anger.
"Did you?" Loki asked.
I stopped. Loki was standing tense in front of the Casket, turning his head over his shoulder to glare at me. The idea that Loki would be mad at me was something I suspected would happen. I told him my Plan would work flawlessly. It's not his fault that I didn't give all the information to him. That was my fault. He deserved to feel the anger towards me.
Author, did I really have to tell him the truth?
People always get mad when I tell the truth...
Then again, I don't wanna be like the rest of Asgard in this. Loki deserves to finally get the truth from me. No matter how it inconvenienced me. He deserved to know.
"Did you know about this!" Loki snapped.
"Yes." I admitted.
I thought the truth would feel more freeing. As Loki's expression set into that blankness: the thin lip, the guarded eyes, the forced relaxation in the eyebrows and shoulders, and that damned flinch back from me. His mind was probably a whirlwind of betrayals and hurt, I added to that. It gave me physical damage to see that directed at me.
"I-" I wanted to tell you...did I? Did I want to hurt him like this? "I didn't think you'd believe me."
Nobody ever does when I tell them the future
Though the admission was pathetic, and I thought it too late to appeal for sympathy, Loki turned from me. Sure, that could mean a dismissal and a cold shoulder. As someone who has been on that side of betrayal, silence was better than anger.
Not great. Just better.
I had to hide it
If I told him- and he didn't believe-
I couldn't tell him. I didn't want this for him. I remember that pain, of finding out you're something different. That your entire identity was a lie, that your species was wrong.
When I found out, I had nobody. I was all alone with no idea who I was, what I was. I thought I was a demon, or a witch.
Loki knows what he is. He hates himself all the more for it. He has resources to find out more, except everyone he could ask hates him on principle.
He reached for the casket again. He moved with rage, with a determinedness that set off something unpleasant in my stomach. He held the Casket in his hands. This time, he watched his fingers shift to blue.
The blue shifted up, inching to take over the pale white. It crept beneath his sleeves. I couldn't watch it cover the rest of his skin. Before long, blue peaked out for his shirt collar. The light of the Casket and the glowing wall of the Destroyer reflected the coming color in his eyes. The air wasn't quite cold...that didn't make me feel any better.
When he turned back, the entire Vault was shaking. Or maybe it was me. I wanted to crumble under that glare- the intense hatred and scorn from him...why was I not dead on the spot?
"What more have you hidden from me?"
I wanted to say anything, answer whatever questions he asked. But the pain in his red eyes...it broke me.
His eyes still held a pupil...they were still his familiar green...clouded over by red.
They were still so beautiful...even if the beauty came with the pain of knowing...
Loki still held the Casket. If he lifted it in this form...if the Destroyer thought a Jotun was stealing it...he could die. I screwed up, keeping everything hidden. That doesn't mean Loki deserves to suffer for it.
"Loki. Please let go of the Casket." I pleaded, looking between Loki and the glowing wall of the Destroyer.
Loki laughed. The bad laughter that came with the dramatic upswing in music. My heart was racing, thinking about Loki lifting up the Casket. What he could do after with it was no concern to me- he was the priority. He was the innocent civilian that I dragged into my fucking mess. "Why? Do I frighten you?"
"No. I'm frightened for you. Please put it down." I looked at the wall again. So far, the defenses weren't going down. When would that change? What needed to change? How badly could I screw this up?
What did Loki need right now?
"I know I screwed up, not telling you, I'm sorry." My voice wobbled, my breathing came faster as I tried to think. How high up did the Casket need to go for it to count? How fast could I get him out of the Destroyer's path? Would letting go of the Casket stop it? Could I knock him down before the Destroyer fired- "Please put it down. The Destroyer will come out if you move it!"
Loki smiled, scoffing and laughing still. Well yeah, apparently I could feel worse. "Why shouldn't it? It would only be doing it's job."
His lifted the Casket.
I leapt at him, grabbing his hands to push the Casket back. Loki's red eyes went wide as I held his blue hands, not flinching back from the cold. Or perhaps more surprised at the strength I used to push the Casket back down. If the Destroyer came right now, with my back to it, I would be the first target.
Fuck the Casket was cold.
Fuck I actually like it.
"STOP!"
If I thought Loki was tense before, I was clearly unclear about what 'tense' was for him. I looked up, seeing red eyes bounce between unveiled hate and tearful confusion.
"Am I cursed?" Loki asked.
On the stairs, Odin stayed up at the top. Not coming near his son. Not coming any closer, or trying to be comforting. Nah, he was shouting his answers from across the room. I was wrong earlier. Loki hadn't been dragged into my mess, Odin dragged him along. Everything wrong with Loki's life was Odin's fault. He was such a fucking asshole. Look at him now. He can only claim the higher ground in it's most technical sense.
What father didn't want to comfort his son, at such a confusing time? What kind of parent just kept their kid at arm's length like this?
This man- who already suffered the loss of his brother- was starting to realize his family was long since lost.
"No." Odin answered.
The Casket was still cold
This was actually starting to feel painful now.
I couldn't let go.
What if Loki tried to move it again?
I squeezed tighter on Loki's hands. His own hands tensed from my touch. He wouldn't let go of the Casket. Until he did, I held on.
Even if my fingers were turning blue.
"What am I?" Loki asked. I tried to meet his eyes. He purposefully kept his eyes on the Casket.
"You're my son." Odin answered.
Even I scoffed at that. Loki's fingers began to uncurl, so I did too. My fingers were mildly blue, I tucked them away. Getting mild frostbite was my choice.
Loki turned to face Odin. I stepped around the Casket, taking his side. "What more than that?"
Odin was accusingly silent. I stayed by the Casket. The moment was too private, too painful for me to step into this time. My fingers were warming up anyway. Besides, Odin deserved Loki's ire. Odin noticed my presence, despite me wanting literally anything else. "Queen Morgan does not need to be here. Come, Loki, let us discuss this elsewhere."
"No. Answer me now. The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" Loki accused. He walked towards Odin. His skin shifted back to his Aesir skin.
No hiding behind me. I would've thrown him at Loki.
"No." Odin admitted after a long moment. He stayed at the top of the stairs, staring down at Loki. Never once showing an ounce of pity or sympathy. If one was being honest with themselves, Odin was being an asshole. "In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a Giant's offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."
I stepped forward. There was barely a sound as I did so. Though I wouldn't interfere, I wanted Loki to know that somebody had his back. I was a traitor to him in the ways that mattered but I would do better now.
"Laufey's son." Loki repeated. He was a smart man, hearing what of the story Odin was leaving out.
He took you home
You were a lone baby, in a Temple, definitely surrounded by the dead, and he took you home.
He always said you were born to be a king
He never said of what realm
"Yes." Odin confirmed.
"Why?" Loki asked. He glanced over his shoulder, spotting me walking up behind. I gave him a look that I hope reflected his own confusion. He went back to Odin, for understanding, for help, for anything. "You were knee-deep in Jotun blood! Why would you take me?"
"You were an innocent child." Odin reasoned.
Again, a quiet scoff from me. Somehow I got the feeling being an innocent child hadn't stopped the All-Father before. In the mythology texts I'd studied, none of Loki's kids were guilty of anything besides a damned prophecy of Ragnarok. Surely this Odin wouldn't be so different.
"No. You took me for a purpose, what was it?" Loki demanded to be told.
Odin seemed offset. Had he not expected Loki to see past his lies? Loki, the proclaimed god of lies, not able to see past such obvious copout bullshit?
"Tell me!" Loki screamed, and I heard a millennia of pain fall down around him.
Hey I was just wondering if I should let the Destroyer kill me. Guess that answered my question.
Odin understood. There was no smooth talking his way out of this one. "I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace, through you."
Even that explanation stunk of a coverup, of lies and half truths. Odin was trying to cover his own lies and mistakes. Loki himself wasn't the mistake, but somehow he was the only person paying for Odin's actions. I walked closer to him, taking the place at Loki's side.
"What?" Loki asked.
I know, I don't believe it either.
"But those plans no longer matter." Odin dismissed.
'Hey son, I just admitted that taking you was for a purpose so I raised you for that purpose and that purpose is now useless. Hey but don't think this is me telling you that you're useless.'
Wow.
"So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me." Loki snapped.
"Why do you twist my words?" Odin asked.
I scoffed. Twist his words? He picked up on the subtext you gave to him. There's no twisting of words. Loki just put together the truth from what you already said. I was so mad, so fucking pissed off at the lies. Odin was being the worst piece of shit father. Yeah worse than Laufey who put his son in a Temple during a war-
'Oh my Author. Odin has been telling Loki that he's been trying to kill his dad for a thousand years. I did not think it could be worse.'
But my rage wasn't the focus of this interaction. That was all Loki's. I need to put mine aside for now, until Loki was okay. He needed help more than I needed to blow a hole in Odin's skull.
On the brightside, holding back a blast was warming up my hands.
"You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?" Loki yelled.
"You are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth." Odin lied again.
Yeah cause that always works well
"What?" Loki asked. "Because I-I-I-I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night?"
Hey maybe I can get the Destroyer to kill Odin too. Just take us both out. That'll help Loki.
"Don't."
"You know, it all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years." Loki shouted. He advanced up the stairs, as Odin crumbled. "Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"
At the shout, Odin fell back into the Odinsleep. Loki stood above him now. His blue/green glare shifting to blue/green fear.
I went up the stairs, taking his hand. Loki flinched back. His grip tightened on my hand all the same. They warmed me up too.
"Loki?" I asked.
Are you okay?
What do you need?
How can I help you?
How do I make this right?
Loki just stared at our joined hands.
Okay. I knew what to do in these instances.
"Guards!" I shouted. Loki squeezed my hand, startled. His mouth was gaping, trying and failing to form words. "Guards help!"
The doors to the Vault opened. They went to the side of the Allfather. I helped Loki take a step back, moving so I stood protectively in front of him.
No way anyone of Asgard was getting their hands on Loki without going through me. I failed him once. I won't again.
=L=
AN: So...normal month in the Loki fandom. Everything is fine. No need to talk about anything-
OKAY BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING?! I HEARD THEORIES THAT LOKI IS GONNA DO THE DB COOPER THING! PRESIDENT LOKI! THE HELMET! THE KNIVES! THE OUTFITS!
Owen Wilson?!
LOKI
*ahem* Like I said. Normal month in the Loki fandom.
Thanks to JellyB3ll for favoriting!
