A/n: just some rambling, I just came up with it
She wasn't supposed to be the one hurting him. Why was she pushing him away, murmuring. No, babbling, turning away, walking, then running. He was sure, SURE she loved him, sure he loved her. Absolutely, positively, no-doubt-about-it sure that nothing could go wrong. Knew that she wouldn't hurt him if she could possibly help it.
That's why it hurt so bad, this running away, pushing him farther back. He had thought they were good together, they had everything worked out.
And then he realized that he had hurt her. Indefinitely, no take-backs, hurt her. And he hadn't even realized it. Hadn't even thought that it wasn't what she wanted. Hadn't wanted to think, just wanted action to take the place of words for once. Just once. And then he blew it. Completely, utterly out of the water.
He had always thought himself to be calm, considerate, at all times. Always. No freaking exceptions. But he stopped thinking. That was the problem. He didn't stop to think. That had NEVER been his problem before. His problem had, in fact, always been over-thinking. He was cautious to the point of faulty-ness, as all his dates had always told him. "You waited too long", "I want something more than talking". They weren't intellectual equals, to say the least.
Then, he met her. She had a past, but so did he. They were fine, talking along. They didn't do anything but talk for months. Both too shy to go to the next level. Even though they both knew what it was, the ultimate companionship, love even.
And so, Remus Lupin did the one stupid thing he had ever done without the influence of his prankster friends. He took the plunge. He kissed her, by the lake. He thought it would be okay. He didn't remember her terrible childhood ordeals. He didn't, in her mind, seem to care.
He realized that now. Heck, he realized a lot of things now. He knew how insensitive he was. How, contrarily to his previous beliefs, he was not as great a bloke as he should be. Why? She was the one that made him feel awesome at this dating thing. All the while before her he had been strictly a study buddy to all the girls, especially the stupid ones. He wasn't fond of stupid ones. Not that he minded tutoring, it just wasn't what he wanted to do with his life. He had always been called sweet, but had always wondered if everyone would run away screaming before him had they known the truth.
Remus had never been exactly courageous. His friends always had to cajole him into every mindless, no-thinking-before-acting actions. And the one time he tried to be brave, try something new, be the instigator of something that would hopefully turn out wonderful…it, typically he thought, crashed and burned. Like his entire life.
Proof of this:
One- got bitten by a werewolf
Two-no friends
Three- some friends (but they're crazy)
Four- no girls
Five- the one girl he kisses, runs away.
Why me? He moaned in the night, waiting for the moon to bring him the ultimate misery. Why do I have to be so stupid? Why couldn't I just remember?
A/n: let me know what you think