Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Inuyasha characters, although I do own a piece of chocolate…that I just ate. So, technically, I don't own anything anymore.
Full summary: She watches from afar as the one she loves deserts her for the one he loves.
Watching From Afar
I'm getting married…
I dropped my mug, letting it crash to the floor. Hot coffee soaked through my sneakers, but I didn't seem to notice. All I could hear was my best friend's words ringing through my ears.
"Y-you're what?" I stammered silently begging that this was just some sick joke he had decided to play on me. "M-married? To whom?"
He said her name and I stood up. I hung my head low so he wouldn't see the tears that were stinging my eyes or the tears that were threatening to spill down my cheeks. I wasn't going to let him know what he had done to me with those three words.
"I have to go," I whispered stepping back, my gaze still on the ground.
Before he could protest, I had spun around and was running out of the coffee shop. It was decided at that moment that I would hate that coffee shop, and coffee, forever.
I burst out onto the streets where the rain was pouring heavily. There was hardly anyone on the streets making it easy to weave through the little crowd. I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks mixed with the rain water. I brushed them aside and ran even faster. I didn't know if he would chase me, but I sure as hell knew that I wasn't going to face him like this. I couldn't face him like this, not when he could see how I was breaking down. This was not me. I was able to hide my emotions from him ever since I was a child when we first met. I was careful to not let him know when I was upset or jealous or in pain.
I tripped, scraping my knee and elbow on the concrete path. No one stopped to see if I was all right, but it wasn't like I was expecting them to. I picked myself up rather shakily, ignoring the blood, which had mixed with water, dripping down my arm and leg or the stinging pain my body was feeling.
Instead, I continued to run. I could hear him calling my name in the distance. He was probably wondering why I was like this, why I was running from him and why I couldn't be happy. But how could I be happy? I love him and he was going to be married to someone who wasn't me.
I arrived at a park and took shelter under a tree. I sank into the muddy grass and brought my knees to my chest where I began sobbing softly. Hopefully he wouldn't find me and try to talk to me. Talking right now would probably lead to heartache and guilt to both parties.
"Hey."
I looked up and there he was, soaked to bone, like me. He found me…damn it.
"What?" I mumbled turning away from him. I couldn't let him see the pain on my face or the jealousy for the girl he loved written in my eyes.
He joined me on the ground and looked up into the tree branches. I followed his gaze wondering what he was thinking about. I, too, was also in deep thought. We sat there for a long time, just thinking.
"What's wrong?" he finally asked poking me playfully on my shoulder.
Instead of shoving him back, like I would usually do, I covered the spot where he poked me with my hand. I shook my head in reply.
"Nothing's wrong," I whispered quietly. "I'm just…thinking."
He nodded like he understood, but we both knew he didn't. I wanted to be with him, but we could never be together. Not as long as she was in the picture and they shared a loving bond. I was in the way.
"Have a happy life together," I said standing up.
He must have realised it then. How I felt about him and how I was feeling right then and there. He looked up into my face, confusion, guilt and pain on his beautiful face. He shouldn't look like that; he should be smiling where his features truly shone. That girl made him smile, I realised. Ever since he started seeing her, he was smiling more often and he was happier.
I began walking away, without another word from the two of us. I think any words we had wanted to say then were understood. I couldn't change his mind about marrying her and I certainly couldn't make him love me. I couldn't be his friend, either, as long as I loved him and he loved her.
I rubbed my arms, trying to get warm, trying to will the heartache away. But I couldn't because I was alone.
I don't know why I went to the wedding. I was seriously looking for some heartache, but it wasn't like it hurt anymore. I watched my best friend walk up the aisle in a tuxedo. He looked happy that he was going to spend the rest of eternity with the one he loved.
My heart squeezed in pain and I sank deeper into the shadows. He wasn't going to see me, because if he did, I might ruin his happiness and hers as well.
The church doors opened and a beautiful girl in a white gown began to glide forward. She was beautiful and she was making him smile without even trying to. I was crying but I didn't look away from the bride and groom.
She reached the end of the aisle and he took her hand. They looked so happy, like they were meant to be. I didn't belong here…
I collected myself before I quietly made it to exit. I stopped at a side entrance, listening to the words of the priest.
"Do you, Inuyasha Takahashi, take…"
The priest's voice faded away and I stared at my friend, waiting for his answer. A small part of me begged for him to say no and to run to me and say that he loved him. The other part of me, the adult me, was telling him to go with the one he loved and to forget about me.
"I do."
"Do you, Kagome Higurashi take Inuyasha Takahashi to be your husband?"
"I do," the girl said, her eyes never once leaving Inuyasha's amber eyes.
"Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
I turned around and left. There was no need for me to stay, not anymore. I walked outside and stood in the wind. There were no more tears left to cry. I looked up at the sky. I remember thinking, it's going to rain.
I almost laughed, for no reason whatsoever, and began the descent from the church steps. I walked across the street to where my car was parked and got in. Before I could even start the engine, I heard the church doors open and the happy couple were walking down the steps. Or rather, Inuyasha was carrying his love down the steps.
I watched, pained, by the happy faces of everyone. I looked at Inuyasha and our eyes connected for a few seconds. I was afraid that he might drop his bride, but he didn't. Instead, he mouthed something and I nodded before driving off.
Thank you, Kikyo…
Author's Note: So what did you think? Please review and be kind!
