Some ALW quotes, one Leroux. Some Kay influence.
'Tears of hate!'
Oh, Christine...
'Swear to me, monster...'
Monster...
'Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...'
Christine, Christine. Oh, God...
The wind was relentless, the night bitter. Cold, harsh, black. Forsakening.
Not that it mattered. Not that anything mattered. Because it was over.
Over...
Erik stood on the roof of the Opera, a lone black figure against a blacker night sky. He had vanished only a step ahead of the mob just like the phantom he was said to be. And who would look for a demon somewhere so close to heaven?
A forceful gust of wind collided with his bare face. He'd left the mask in a nearly poetic gesture – all that would be left of him was that cursed piece of porcelain. He assumed that they were still searching for him, aware they would not go about it gently. If you can't destroy the monster, destroy all he owns. But they were too late; he'd been destroyed.
Erik clenched his hand into a tight ball, trying to make the physical pain stronger than what tore at his heart. All the agony he'd ever inflicted was being returned to him ten-fold. He loved her with every ounce of his being, but that was why he had let her go, wasn't it? He could not truly love her – and force her to stay. That wasn't love. He finally understood what was, and it was killing him.
He knew he would certainly die from this. How could anyone know this burning empty numbness and live? Oh, Christine. You gave me real joy; it is only justified that I should have real pain, too. His eyes stared into the vast city before him, but Erik only saw the cruel recording of memories. He had proven himself a monster in front of her eyes. But why had she done it? Why expose him in front of the world? Could he really humor himself into thinking that he wouldn't have stolen her away if she'd not ripped the mask from his face? No. And why had he done it – taken the place of that Piangi? Killed him. Erik shuddered at his own capabilities. Even he could not fathom all that he had done. He said it was for love of her, that was his reasoning, but was it? Yes, yes he loved her. He who had never known what it was to be loved recognized the feeling in himself. But he never loved her like he did at that moment...
'...God give me courage to show you, you are not alone...'
That kiss! The warmth of her body against his. The feel of her tears upon his face, his hands on her slender hips. Her knowing embrace. And, most incredible of all, her eyes. They had not held fear or loathing...they were full of...of what?
And then she was gone, carried off by the hero, with the creature left to be slain. It was how it should be - happily ever after for the handsome prince and fair maiden. Their world would go on, even if his would not...
And that was the issue, wasn't it? Would he go on to live another day without her? No. Even if she were not there physically he would hear her voice everyday. He would see her shadow on every wall, smell her perfume in every breath of air. Every voice that drifted down to him would be hers for a moment, and then he would curse himself for mistaking anything for her perfect melody. He would go mad dreaming of her and then die. Alone. But wasn't that how he'd always known it would be? Doomed to be alone...
There was another way, a faster, simple way that had hung before him his whole life, taunting, tempting. Suicide... a word like a lullaby. How many times he'd contemplated taking his end into his own hands! But he never had. Every other sin, he had been taught, could be forgiven, but only hell awaited those who ended their own lives. But hell was all that awaited him if he lived...
Erik neared the roof's edge. He stopped abruptly as tears blurred his vision. Wouldn't want to fall while preparing to jump, would we? He almost laughed at the thought. Never before had so much welled up inside of him at once. He had always prided himself in his intelligence, but now Erik felt truly lost. What could he invent to free himself now?
Another strong wind whipped past him, nudging him away from the edge, as though it knew what it was doing. Erik knew that it didn't, but what was that feeling that told him to obey?
Hopeless, Erik sat heavily. He needed time, and he had as much as he could want. He could almost here the mob below him, chipping away at the walls of his hidden house.
No, no one would look for him near heaven...
