Characters;
Addison/Derek
Date; 3/11/06
Chapter; 2
A/N;
No need to explain how I lost that bet to Shonda, right? Wrote this
to It Came Upon A Midnight Clear by Sixpence None the Richer.
Awesome song. Also on an episode of "Grey's Anatomy", and
if you can figure out what line the next quote came from, you'll know
which episode I got this song from.
"'I'm
not saying this to hurt you, or because I want to leave you, because
I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love
with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.'
That's what you said to me, Derek. 'Christmas makes you want to be
with people you love.' Can't the same be said for every day? So why,"
Addison swatted at the hot tears forming in her eyes with the back of
her hand, "why do you stay? I don't want to live a lie. I don't
want to be seen as an obligation, Derek!"
"..."
Derek stood silent, listening to Addison's words. His silence was not
intended to hurt her, but he had nothing to say, nothing to deny.
Addison looked at him with teary eyes filled with incredulity.
"...Right."
"...Addison..." Addison waited
for Derek to reply, but received only silence. Why wasn't he
responding? Why did he continue to hurt her?
"What happened,
Derek? What happened to us?" Addison's voice cracked, became
coarse, and she made no attempt to hide her breakdown.
"...I
don't know." With solemn eyes, Derek looked at her, displaying,
for the first time, truth. A melancholy silence fell over the two, as
each tried to digest what was happening.
"I'm sorry, Derek.
I'm sorry for coming here. I'm sorry for hurting you, Derek. I'm
sorry for everything! Why can't you forgive me!" Addison
shrieked, upsetting the still silence that had settled on them.
Crystal tears rolled down her cheeks, blurring her vision. Derek
looked away, unable to see his wife in such a state. "Why did
you stop caring?" She asked, her voice tipped over on desperate.
Addison looked to him for answers, like many times before, this time
finding none. Had they grown so distant, that she could barely tell
what he was thinking?
He
found himself unable to respond. He, himself didn't know what had
happened, why he had stopped caring. The grip on his bag had grown
tighter, his knuckles now sporting a death-white color.
"I
never stopped caring, Addison." Derek finally said, finally
detecting that part in his heart that still beat for Addison. It had
become faint, but it was there.
"Then why did you walk away?
Why did you walk away that night, Derek? You didn't fight for me. You
just left." She had become so emotionally unstable through the
years, that life, at this time, didn't even seem to be worth much.
"..." Again, Derek reciprocated with silence, unsure of why he had simply walked away that night. Could he honestly blame her for going away? He had practically driven her into Mark's arms--he was the only one to blame at this point. Self-loathe and perplexity filled his mind, trying to clutch at the part of his heart for Addison, reluctantly all the while.
There
was a time, where Addison would have waited forever for an answer.
And she had. Through with being hurt, and hurting Derek, Addison gave
in. She broke the heartbreaking silence with painful words--more
painful than the ones said even before. It hurt her to say it, and
she was hesitant--afraid of the answer she would receive. But forever
had ended, and she needed to know.
Addison released a surrendering
sigh, "I love you, Derek. I really, really do. So you can you
take this ticket, and go back home with me, or sign the divorce
papers and stay here." With that, Addison reached into her bag
and took out two pieces of parchment. One of which was familiar to
both. She handed them over to Derek, who took them quietly and
unwillingly. There was only so far you could run before it was time
to face the truth.
The wedding bands had once signified an undying love for each other, but now it was just a plain reminder of what they lost. And yet she had continued to wear it, hoping it would also remind Derek that there was a still a chance.
