Out in the Open
"Get in," Tommy told Jude as they left the recording studio. They had both just been told that Jude had been banned from G-Major for the next 4 months. Before Jude could fly off the handle and get herself in even deeper with Darius, Tommy had ushered her out to his car.
"Wait, Tommy, they can't just kick me out like that," Jude protested, trying to work her arm from his grasp. "Darius is-"
"Jude, get in," Tommy said in a more forceful voice. A voice that Jude hadn't heard since he had yelled at her after she decided to sing "My Sweet Time" instead of "Stupid Girl" at the party Darius had thrown when she returned from her summer tour.
Jude sat down in the passenger seat just as Tommy slammed the door shut. She knew that they were in for a long ride if he was this angry with her. Normally, she would've stood up for herself, but the last thing she wanted to do was make Tommy even angrier at her than he already was.
Tommy climbed into the driver's seat and started the car without saying a word. He didn't even look at Jude. He slipped his glasses on and backed out of the parking spot.
They didn't speak until Tommy reached a red light several blocks away. "Jude, what did I tell you before?" Tommy asked. "Things are different now. You have to do things Darius' way or you're out. You have to play ball. I don't know how many times I need to tell you that. I busted my ass all summer long making sure that you had a future with G-Major and you've managed to return and ruin two months of ass kissing within a matter of days."
"Look, Tommy, I just can't sit by and let-" Jude began, but was quickly interrupted by the squeal of tires when the light turned green. Once again, they drove in silence until Tommy reached a red light.
"Jude, do you or do you not want to play music?" Tommy asked straight out, finally looking at her.
"Of course I do, Tommy. That is the only thing that I have ever wanted to do," Jude reminded him. "That is the reason I entered that stupid contest to begin with."
"Than you need to keep your mouth shut and start playing by the rules," Tommy said, not bothering to look at her. He knew that he was being tough on her, but there wasn't time to be the concerned, caring producer that he had been in the past. She was digging a hole deep enough for the both of them and he couldn't afford having Darius fire him. He didn't like the way things were going at G-Major, obviously, but this was his job. This was his life. And if he wanted to continue spending time with Jude, this was it. He knew that if she lost her contract, he wouldn't be able to see her and that was the last thing he wanted to have happen.
Tommy stepped on the gas as the light turned green. He was lost in his own thoughts as he drove. He couldn't even begin to imagine his life without Jude in it. Granted, they had only known each other a year, and that he had managed just fine to live his life for over 20 years without having her in it, but things were different now. Jude brought out a side of him that he didn't even know he'd had until he met her. She made him want to get up and go to work if it meant that he would be able to see her. She showed him that music could actually be fun and not just a job, like it had been during his Boyz Attack days.
"And what rules with those be, Quincy?" Jude asked, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.
"The only rule you need to concern yourself with Jude is this. If Darius asks you to jump, you ask how high," Tommy said simply. "That's what I have been doing while you were out gallivanting around Canada and the U.S. I had to bite my tongue a million times because I knew that if I said what I really wanted to say, I wouldn't be able to see-"
Jude glanced over at him, "You wouldn't be able to see … what?" Part of her hoped that his response would be "you" but she highly doubted that was the word he had just been about to say. Ever since their kiss the night of her 16th birthday, he hadn't shown even an inkling of interest towards her as anything more than her producer.
"I wouldn't be able to see the inside of a recording studio ever again," he lied. He had almost slipped. He had almost said the words that he had longed to tell her since that night they had kissed. He was sick and tired of hiding his true feelings for Jude, but he had no option but to do so. Luckily, he hadn't let it slip that the music wasn't the most important thing to him, but rather seeing her every day was. It had been torture getting through those months without her. He had hoped he would hear from her while she was out on the road, but after she found out about him and Sadie, he wasn't surprised that she had shut him out.
The only response Jude could muster up was, "Oh." She turned her attention to the scenery that they were bypassing as Tommy drove. She had no idea where they were headed, but she did know that she needed to get as far away from Tommy as humanly possible.
"Where are we going?" Jude finally asked after Tommy had been aimlessly driving for about a half hour. She had been glancing at him throughout the drive and had noticed that his features had become visually less tense as he drove, so she hadn't bothered to ask him where they were going. She figured that the longer he drove; the sooner things could get back on track between the two of them.
"Just because you're now allowed to record music at G-Major doesn't mean that we still can't work on writing songs for your return to the studio," Tommy said, with a small smile. "I thought that we could go to your family's house in the country. We had pretty good luck there writing "It Could Be Me," so I thought we might be even more successful the second time around." The look on Jude's face made Tommy add, "Or I could just take you home and we can do this another time …"
Jude was torn. Obviously, the thought of being alone with Tommy at her family's country house was enticing. The last time they had been there, her sister, Sadie, had interrupted them. On the other hand, being alone with Tommy could make her spiral back into feeling all those feelings she had hidden away, deep inside of her. It had taken weeks for her to move on from her feelings and she knew that if she even spent an hour alone with Tommy, they would all resurface and she'd be back to square one.
"Let's work on some songs and then you can take me home. That way the day won't be a total loss," Jude told him, knowing that she had probably made one of the biggest mistakes of her life by agreeing to go to the country house with him.
Tommy glanced over at her and smiled for the first time that day. "Sounds like a plan," he said and then drove the rest of the way in silence.
"Listen to that," Tommy said, scanning the field surrounding the Harrison country house. "No Darius. No Liam. No arguing. No demands. Just silence."
Jude walked up beside him. "Funny, huh? As two musicians, who would've thought we'd appreciate the act of silence so much?"
He grabbed his guitar from the backseat of his car and followed her up the front steps and inside the house. Jude set the bags of Chinese takeout on the kitchen counter and started searching for plates in the cabinets and silverware in the drawers.
They both ate in silence for several minutes before Jude spoke, "Thank you."
"For … ?" Tommy asked, slightly confused.
"For working on keeping my contract with G-Major. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like for you there, while I was out touring. I guess I just assumed that everything was perfect since my CD had been released and I was out on tour, doing what I love."
"And that's how it should've been, Jude. Believe me, the last thing I thought I would be dealing with this summer was Darius taking over G-Major and flipping all of our worlds upside down. But he did and I knew that I had to roll with punches. For both of us."
"I wish you would've called to tell me what was going on, Tommy. Maybe I could've done something …" Jude trailed off.
"It's not like we left things on good terms, Jude," Tommy reminded her. "I figured that I was the last person you would want to hear from while you were on the road. I kept my distance for a reason."
"And what reason would that be?" Jude asked, knowing what his response would be. She didn't bother to wait. "The fact that you were out gallivanting around Europe with Sadie?" The tone in Jude's voice let Tommy know that this was a touchy subject and that he should tread lightly.
Tommy met her glance, unsure of what to say in response to her question. Why had he kept his distance? So, he could get over his crush on a 16-year-old girl? So, he could start up a relationship with her sister, whom he only had lukewarm feelings for? So, she could move on and pursue a relationship with Jaime, her best friend since childhood? There was no way he could truly answer that question without opening a whole other can of worms that neither of them were ready to face.
"That's all in the past. It doesn't matter why I kept my distance at this point. All that matters is that we have a job to do and that is to get your career back on track and make Darius happy."
Satisfied for the time being, Jude helped clean up their lunch so they could get to work and she could get away from Tommy sooner, rather than later.
Several hours later, Tommy and Jude had written two songs and had just started working on a third when a crack of thunder broke through their concentration. Jude jumped slightly in surprise and Tommy stopped strumming the guitar.
"Oh my God," Jude said, standing to get a better look out the back window. "Tommy, look." She pointed to the wall of rain that was heading their way. Lightning flashed in the distance simultaneously with a crack of thunder. "We should head back before the storm hits."
"We'd never make it to the studio in time to avoid that storm," Tommy said. "We'll wait it out and as soon as it's safe to drive, we'll head back. Why don't you call your parents to let them know that you're safe? I'm going to go put the top on my car."
While Tommy was gone, Jude used her cell to call her mom. All she got was the answering machine. "Mom, it's me, Jude. Tommy and I are stuck out in the country and can't head back until this storm passes. I'll –" Her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming shut. In walked a soaking wet Tommy. "I'll call you when we're on the road. Bye."
Jude laughed out loud. She couldn't help it. Tommy was literally soaked from head to toe. "You think this is funny?" Tommy asked in mock anger. The next thing Jude knew, he rushed towards her. "I bet you won't think it's so funny when you're soaking wet, too!" Jude ran out of the living room, weaving her way through the furniture, trying to avoid Tommy at all costs, all the while laughing. It had been a long time since she had felt this free. Since she had really laughed.
"Okay, I pledge a truce," Jude offered, standing on one side of the island in the middle of the kitchen. Tommy was standing opposite her, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to tackle her.
"Not a chance, Harrison," Tommy said simply. They both danced around the island a couple times before Jude made a run for it. Tommy was too quick and caught her around the waist. Instantly, Jude felt the rain soak into her dry clothes as they tumbled onto the couch. Both of them laughed, trying to catch their breath.
"Happy now, Quincy?" Jude asked, in between gulps of breath. She was acutely aware of the fact that his arms were still around her waist as she sat up.
"Not exactly," he said with a smirk and picked her up and carried her over his shoulders and out into the rain filled sky. He set her down on the ground and simply replied, "Now, I'm happy."
Unfazed by the fact that they were soaking wet, both ran around outside like they were two school kids, dancing in the rain like Gene Kelly, having the time of their lives.
At some point during their time outside, the power had gone out. Jude dug around for some candles and flashlights in the hall closet, while Tommy searched for matches in one of the kitchen drawers. "Found 'em!" Jude shouted into the darkness. She maneuvered her way from the closet, into the kitchen and found Tommy still rummaging around. "This might help." She handed him the lone flashlight that she had found.
"Thanks," he said, finally pulling out a book of matches. "Why don't we go into the living room and light them there? And then we're going to hunt down some towels or dry clothes. Neither of us can afford to get sick right now with all the work that is ahead of us." Jude carried the candles into the living room, with Tommy close behind her with the flashlight, guiding their way.
She set the candles in the center of the coffee table so Tommy could light them. They didn't add much light to the room, but it was better than sitting in complete darkness. "Not much of an improvement, but it's better than nothing at this point," Tommy said, blowing out the flame on the match.
"Why don't we go and change into some dry clothes? My dad usually keeps some extra clothes hanging in the bedroom closet. Take whatever you need," Jude said leading him into the bedroom that her parents used to share prior to her dad's fidelity. She slid open the closet to a row of various Hawaiian print shirts and khaki pants.
"Not a look I would necessarily go for …" Tommy trailed off. "But dry clothes are dry clothes."
"And to think, Sadie actually bought this one for my dad on his birthday last year," Jude said, pulling out a yellow and white flower printed shirt. She lifted it up, to see how it would look on Tommy. "You might even luck out and get one for your birthday. However, I need to make sure that she knows yellow simply isn't your color." Jude expected him to laugh or at least smile at her joke, but there was not an ounce of amusement on his face. She wasn't even sure why she had brought up Sadie. It had been a touchy subject between the two of them ever since she had found out that they were dating. "Okay. Well, I'll let you change and I'll see you back in the living room."
"Why did she have to bring up Sadie?" Tommy muttered to himself as he pulled off his wet clothes. He hadn't thought about her once all day. Even when he was angry with Jude for blowing things at G-Major this morning, he had only thought about Jude and what he could do to make the situation better. He was at a crossroad as to how to handle the Sadie situation. Initially, he really wanted to make things work with her. If he couldn't be with Jude, than Sadie was the next best thing. However, after their time together in Europe, he knew that they weren't on the same page. He couldn't give Sadie what she wanted out of their relationship. When she returned and showed up at the ill-fated party of Darius' and gave him that ultimatum, he thought that he was finally free of the entire relationship. Granted, he had felt horrible when he responded to her ultimatum with, 'then no,' but what else could he do? If there is one thing that he did not put up with, it was being backed into a corner like that. And then she had shown up, begging him for his forgiveness and a second chance and he didn't know what else to do than give her one. Ever since, he couldn't help thinking that he had made a huge mistake by doing so.
The bedroom illuminated as lightning flashed ever few seconds. He quickly changed into Mr. Harrison's clothes and felt his way back to the living room. Jude was already there, sitting beside the coffee table, wearing a pair of jeans and a green sweater. Every time he saw the color green, regardless if Jude was wearing it or not, he thought back to the night of her 16th birthday. That night, everything had changed. Not only had Jude's first boyfriend, Shay, treated her like dirt, but that was also the night Tommy had impulsively kissed her. When he had found her out in the alley, crying, soaking wet, all he wanted to do was comfort her. Could he have done that with a hug? Yes. But at that moment, she was so hurt, confused, and upset that all I could think of doing to stop all those emotions was to kiss her. It had even taken him by surprise. The second their lips met, he knew that it was the biggest mistake and the best decision he had ever made. When he pulled back from the kiss, he could see that he hadn't helped anything at all. In fact, he had made things worse for her. The look in her eyes was of hope. A hope that could not be possible any time in the near future.
He looked out the bay window into the front yard. The rain didn't look as though it would end anytime soon. It looked like they might end up having to spend the night. It was already closing in on 8:30 P.M.
Jude didn't say anything as he sat down beside her on the floor. "Who would've thought today would have ended up the way it did?"
She looked over at him, "Definitely not me. I didn't think you would ever speak to me again after everything that happened at G-Major this morning."
"Jude," he began. "Always know this. I would never stop speaking to you. Do I get annoyed with decisions that you make? Yes. Do you drive me up the wall sometimes? Yes. But there is nothing that you could do that would make me want to stop talking to you." She smiled. "Sometimes you just need to think before you do or say certain things." The smile faded from her face. "It would save us a lot of trouble in the long run."
"Is that so, Quincy? Who's to say that you're not the one that needs to think before you do or say certain things?" she asked with an edge in her tone. "Because believe me, you're no saint when it comes to that."
"Wait a second," he said, surprised at the sharpness in her voice. "When did this conversation take a turn into argument territory?"
"When you decided to basically tell me that it's my fault when we get in trouble and that I should basically keep my mouth shut," she said, her voice rising and cracking.
"That is not what I said, Jude. Look, if you want to pick a fight, fine, but do not twist my words around," he told her, starting to get angry himself. "And what do you mean, I need to watch what I say or do?"
"Are you kidding me? Let's begin with the night of my 16th birthday, Tommy. If you had thought about it, you would have never kissed me, but you did it anyway. Look at the ramifications from that. You knew how I felt about you and you used it against me. I was doing perfectly fine out there on that fire escape by myself. Then you showed up and turn my world upside down for no reason at all. If you had thought about it, you would never have kissed me knowing that nothing could come of it. Were you feeling lonely that night and figured that you'd kiss poor Jude to make her feel better after her boyfriend publicly dumped her?"
Tommy stared at her, shocked. He didn't know what to say to her accusations. How had they gone from having the most fun he'd had in his entire life that afternoon to this? Thunder clapped in succession, allowing him time to gather his thoughts. The rain continued to pound the windows as the lightning flashed. "Are you really trying to test my statement about my never wanting to talk to you again? Because if you keep this up, that just may be what will happen between us." Jude didn't say anything. "We agreed that that kiss had never happened so why are you bringing it up now?"
"No, we didn't agree, Tommy. You said we couldn't talk about it, and so you wouldn't lose your job, I agreed. It wasn't because I wanted too." Jude stood up, not wanting to be next to Tommy any longer. "I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to find out why it had happened. I wanted to know how you felt about me."
By now, Tommy was standing, too. He looked at Jude. He could tell just how badly she needed to talk about the kiss. It had been the elephant in the room for several months now and suddenly there was just no way they could not talk about it. "How could you not know how I felt about you from that kiss? Jude, do you have any idea what it's been like for me? Every single day that I'm with you, I ask myself how can I be interested in a sixteen-year-old girl? You may be the coolest girl that I have ever met, but we can't be together."
"Why not?" Jude asked.
"For a million reasons," Tommy said. "I'm with Sadie now. You're only 16. I'm your producer. It would be a mistake."
Jude stepped towards him. She stared at him, thinking very carefully about what she would say or do at this moment. "None of those reasons are good enough for me, Tommy. This thing between us … you and me … it's over. Personally and professionally. Life is too short to spend it worried about what other people are going to think about you. So, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to look for a new producer and a new label. If G-Major doesn't support me as an artist and can ban me from their studio for a quarter of the year, why should I bother playing their game? Thanks for everything that you've done for me this past year, Tommy, but I think it's time to move on."
"Jude, wait-" Tommy started to say, but was quickly cut off.
"My decision is final. Maybe than you'll begin to appreciate what we had once its been taken away from you," Jude told him. "I'll see you in the morning." She headed down the hallway towards the bed she had slept in for the past 16 years, wiping away the tears that she let fall freely.
Tommy sat down on the edge of the couch, rubbing his eyes, wondering what he was going to do to keep Jude from leaving G-Major for good.
Knock, knock, knock. Jude glanced at her bedroom door, knowing exactly who was on the other side. After her irrational outburst earlier, she wasn't sure she ever wanted to see or speak to Tommy again. She wasn't sure how long she'd lain awake in her bed, listening to the rain. It felt like hours, but for all she knew it had only been a matter of minutes. "Jude," he said softly. There was something in his tone that made her sit up in the bed and listen. He sounded sad. "Let's talk about this."
"What is there left to say, Tommy?" she called into the darkness. Unless he was going to finally admit to his feelings, there was nothing that he could say to change her mind about the spontaneous decision she had made earlier. She heard the doorknob turn and the door slowly creak open.
"Look, Jude," Tommy began. He stood in the doorway, not making a move towards her. "What happened earlier, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you or for you to take what I said the wrong way. Everything has just become so complicated between us lately. Between G-Major and us, I just don't know if I'm coming or going these days." He raked his hand through his hair and continued. "I'm going to be completely honest with you, Jude. I can't imagine going through the rest of my life without having you in it in some capacity. We're good together. Inside, and outside, the studio."
Jude opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. She looked at Tommy, wondering where they would go from here. As she was staring at him, she got a sudden urge to change things without having to say a single word. She was tired of waiting for Tommy to make the first move. To admit his true feelings. Before she could talk herself out of it, she had jumped up from the edge of the bed and beelined it towards Tommy. She stopped for just a moment, to look him in the eye. She needed to know that she wasn't making a huge mistake by doing what she was about to do. His eyes told her that she wasn't and that he wanted this just as much as she did. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. There was not an ounce of hesitation from Tommy. He kissed her back, expressing the need and longing that he had buried deep within himself for the past year. Both of them pulled back at the same time and stared at one another, surprised by how strong the kiss had been.
"Jude –" Tommy began.
"Tommy –" Jude began at the same time.
They both laughed nervously before Tommy continued. "Jude, we can't. You know that."
Jude's smile faltered. She walked over to the window, so he couldn't see the sadness that was now written across her face. She saw the moon poking out behind a partly cloudy sky. The rain had finally stopped and the clouds were clearing out. "The rain has stopped." She turned to look at him, hoping that she was somewhat concealing her feelings and said, "I think it's safe to head back now. We're done here."
Tommy followed Jude out of the room and into the living room. Both gathered their belongings in the dark and silently walked out to Tommy's car. Neither one of them said a word on the drive home. There was nothing left to say at this point.
While driving, Tommy decided that he couldn't allow himself to feel the feelings he felt for Jude anymore and that he was tired of hurting her because of that. He wasn't sure how he was going to go about this. He just knew that he needed to do everything in this power to move on. Jude decided that she would spend her four-month banishment from G-Major moving on from Tommy and finding herself a new producer and/or a new record label.
As soon as he stopped in front of her house, she jumped out of the car, slammed the passenger door, and ran up the front walk. She didn't look back at Tommy. For the first time in a long time, Jude felt free. She was ready to move on and stop pining over Tommy Quincy once and for all.
