Chapter 12
A Whole New World, Part Two
Ichigo realizes for certain that he's not in the Soul Society when he meets his first spirit.
She's young, or, was young, when she passed. Only eight or nine years, it looks like. She looks familiar, but Ichigo can't quite put his finger on it. He first spots her while helping a servant carry a basket of linens twice her size. She's standing on the edge of the property, underneath one of Ichigo's favorite cherry blossom trees, brown hair an extension of the branches. At first, he pays her no more than a passing glance, simply a child of one of the many workers here.
He sees her again a few days later, in the same floral purple kimono, in the same spot. She hasn't moved, her gaze still fixed on the manor. She doesn't react when Ichigo and the other retainers start their drills. Ichigo finds himself sore more often than not, the repetitive motions tugging on muscles he didn't even know he had. He can't keep his eyes from drifting to the little girl, and Kyosuke makes him pay dearly for it, repeatedly smacking the back of his head with his wooden katana.
At the end of the practice, Kyosuke asks him what has him so distracted.
"That girl over there… who is she?"
Kyosuke frowns and looks over to where Ichigo is gesturing. He turns back around and smiles, "Ah, Ichigo, I think you might have mixed your words up again. There is no girl over there."
His friend pats him on the back as he heads inside, leaving Ichigo to wonder about the mystery girl under the cherry blossom tree.
The next day comes a storm so savage that servants are running around securing doors and windows, lighting lanterns, and heating towels. The panels and walls rattle, the ground shakes from the force of the thunder. Ichigo helps where he can, secures items that others are too short to reach, and passes out blankets and the warmed towels.
He kneels before Kawahara's room, knocking on the screen door. A soft 'enter' comes from inside, and Ichigo slides the door open, head bowed.
"Kawahara-sama, I have some extra blankets."
"Ah, Kurosaki, please come in."
Ichigo lifts his head, looking into the lord's room for the first time. It's twice the size of his own, but not so large as to look exuberant. There's a large bed, some bookshelves, as well as a table where Kawahara is currently sitting. He's likely looking over taxes or correspondences from other lords. He puts down his brush on the inkstone as Ichigo enters.
"I haven't had any of my guests bring me towels before," he says, laughing softly. "I apologize for my lack of presence about the house, but you know how things can be. I hope the staff have been accommodating to you the past few weeks?"
Ichigo sets the blankets next to the bed and nods. "Yes, they've been very hospitable."
"That's good…" Kawahara falls silent for a few moments. "I've heard that you've been practicing with the other swordsmen. They seem to have become quite fond of you in the past few weeks. I'd like to extend you another offer of employment, since it seems the workers have put you to work anyhow."
Heat rises to Ichigo's face and he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. "It's no trouble at all, I am staying here rent-free… could I have some time to think about it?"
Kawahara nods, "Of course. Take all the time you need."
Ichigo bows and leaves the room, sliding the door shut behind him. There's a loud crash outside and his hand instantly goes to Zangetsu, only to find empty space. That's right, he left him in his room. Ichigo takes a deep breath. It's probably just nearby lightning. He's been in this strange world for three weeks, and he has yet to see anything even remotely resembling a hollow. Unlatching a nearby door, Ichigo heads outside.
The rain is pelting sideways, the heavy raindrops hitting the side of the home with large snaps each time. Shielding his eyes, Ichigo looks around, but even then he can barely make out the garden. Resigning himself, he takes a deep breath before he steps out from under the cover of the roof.
Just like needles, the raindrops are cold and biting where they hit his skin. The strong winds yank on his own clothing, making it difficult to walk. It reminds him of a storm he and his sisters had braved while Isshin picked up a shift at the hospital. They rode it out by making a tent out of the couch in the living room, watching movies and eating popcorn till they fell asleep. Once Isshin came home, he scooped each of his children up and tucked them into bed. Ichigo had only been eleven or twelve then, but even now, he still aches for his sisters' comfort in a storm like this.
Ichigo's foot catches on a twig. He looks down to see it's not a twig, but a whole branch, attached to a limb, attached to half of his favorite cherry blossom tree, which had been split by lightning. The wood is still sizzling. It probably caught fire but was instantly doused by the downpour. Looking at the blossoms, he thinks of a familiar purple kimono.
Looking around the other side of the tree, he finds her in her usual spot, unfazed by the destruction beside her.
"What are you doing out here? You're going to get hurt!" he practically screams over the booming weather around them. If she can hear him, or even notice him, he can't tell. He grabs her wrist and starts pulling her towards the house. She tugs on his hand, but he doesn't let go until they're inside, door sealed shut behind them.
Ichigo's thoroughly soaked and he's quickly creating a puddle in the middle of the hallway. He walks to a nearby linen closet and pulls out a few towels. When he comes back, the girl is still where he left her, but now her steely green eyes are focused on him. Ignoring her for the moment, Ichigo covers himself with a towel and drops another at his feet, rubbing it around with his foot in a poor attempt of drying it. Taking the last one, he begins drying the girl's hair.
Neither of them speak, but Ichigo doesn't mind the silence. Rain and thunder continue to cascade outside and with every lightning strike, Ichigo and his new companion are silhouetted in light, even through the screens. He finishes her hair, and then begins to dry his own, making short work of it. Both of their clothes are still soaked through, however, so they haven't made too much progress. He begins to walk towards his room and she follows soundlessly behind him,
Ichigo is well versed in tending to grumpy, angsty children. If Karin and Toshiro come to mind, well… he has no control over that. Once inside his room, Ichigo's eyes immediately seek out Zangetsu. Mounted on a katana display above his bed, he looks like just another blade. Even though the other pieces of his soul have remained silent, he still clings to the cold steel. If he couldn't do that, then the entirety of his life until the last month would be nothing more than a fever dream. All of his battles and pain, nothing more than nightmares he's made into reality.
But with Zangetsu, he's grounded. He has physical proof that he's not crazy. He has family and friends that are depending on him, waiting for him somewhere.
Ichigo just needs to find them.
"We don't really have any clothes for kids around here, at least, not that I've seen… So… I think my old t-shirt might fit you, well… cover you at least. I'll have to find it, it's buried around here somewhere…"
He does find it, tucked away in his closet. He kneels next to the girl and starts helping her untie the strings of her kimono, but the rain has acted like glue, melding the fabric together impossibly tight. It's slow work, Ichigo's hands are too large for such an intricate task, but he pushes on. After getting them undone, he helps her step out of the heavy, sodden fabric and into his shirt.
In this room — on her — the grey band t-shirt looks sorely out of place. He's never even listened to one of their songs, but Isshin had gotten it for him for his birthday because it was one of those "hip music groups that teenagers listen to these days." So, Ichigo wore it anyway. And now he's glad that he did.
Ichigo stands up to get his own change of clothes, but a small hand on his sleeve stops him.
"Thank you."
He assumes she's talking about the rain and change of clothes, but when she starts crying, he knows it's about something else.
They're loud, wailing sobs. The kind that gets stuck in your throat, that clogs your sinuses and fills your lungs. Snot is running out her nose, spit sliding down her chin. He's seen these kinds of tears before, with Orihime, his father, his sisters, and with himself. It's grief, so strong and unyielding that it tears you asunder.
So, he sits on the floor and waits.
And waits.
And waits.
It's almost an hour later before she finally begins to calm down. Hiccups become sniffles and although she's still crying, it's subdued and mostly silent.
She sits down on the floor too. "You're the first person that's talked to me in months."
It all finally clicks into place. Why she always stands in the same spot, even when it's struck by lightning; she ignores everyone and everything around her because they ignore her. Kyosuke thought he had mixed up his words because — to the retainer — there was no girl by the tree, there never was.
This little girl sobbed because she's grieving the loss of her own life, one she probably doesn't even realize she's lost yet. And with those realizations comes another, perhaps the most important.
If this girl is a ghost, and the others can't see her, then that means that everyone else is alive. They're human. And that means he has to be in the Living World, there's no doubt.
This creates more questions than answers. If he's in the Living World, that means they won, right? But that still doesn't explain why he has Zangetsu or why his badge doesn't work. It still doesn't explain the strange time he's found himself in, or why he still can't find anyone he knows or anyone that knows him. And, perhaps the biggest question of all, one Ichigo has been avoiding asking.
Why has no one come to look for him?
If their side has won, why hasn't anyone tried to find him? It's been weeks. Sure, Soul Society needs to regroup and rebuild after such a devastating battle, but three weeks? They went after Orihime in less than a day. Perhaps, now that he's played his part, he's won their battle, they no longer need him. And if not soul society, then his father? His sisters? Nothing about what's happened makes sense.
But right now, there's a crying little girl in front of him who needs help.
He pulls her into an embrace, ignoring that he's still sopping wet and that he just ruined all his work in drying her off. She falls into it easily, as any lonely child would. Her fists clench the fabric of his kimono, and her grip around his neck is punishing, or would be, if she wasn't so overwhelmingly small. The young ghosts are always the hardest to send on their way.
"What's your name?"
"H-hana."
He smiles, "Just like your kimono and our favorite tree?"
She pulls away from him and nods, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "Yeah. I used to have a swing there, but right after everyone stopped talking to me, Father took it down… They must hate me."
"Hana, do you know why no one talks to you, other than me?"
She sniffles and shakes her head. "No, but I must've done something terrible."
Ichigo ignores the way his heart stings, "Nothing you did could ever be terrible enough that your family would abandon you. C'mon, I think I know who your dad is. Let's go talk to him."
Her eyes light up as he stands up and she follows behind him through the house.
Before he knocks on his door, he leans toward her. "Hana, your father can't hear or see you, but remember that I can, ok?"
She hesitantly nods, so Ichigo knocks on the door.
"Come in."
Ichigo opens the door, letting Hana enter before shutting it behind him.
"Ah, Kurosaki, back so soon — oh, you're sopping wet."
"Apologies Kawahara-sama, I went outside to check on a loud noise. The cherry blossom tree by the pond has fallen, struck by lightning I'm afraid." Ichigo explains.
The lord's face visibly falls. He's still at the table working, only being an hour since they last spoke. "Oh. How upsetting… is that what you came to speak about? Or have you come to accept my offer?"
Ichigo sits a respectable distance away, Hana to his right. "Actually, I was wondering if you had any children, or if you were married? You already seem to have a lot of retainers, and I'm curious why you would need more? Unless, of course, you have a family that's traveling at the moment that I just haven't met."
"Just myself, I'm sorry to say," Kawahara admits, his tone wistful. "I did have a wife, and she was with child. She died during labor, but at least she was able to bring our beautiful daughter into the world. My girl, Hana, was always a sickly one when she was younger. She seemed to grow out of it with age but… during the winter she caught a terrible fever and never recovered. It's still only a few months yet, and I can still barely bring myself to leave my rooms. Everytime I do, I'm reminded of her. That tree you just mentioned, it was her favorite. She used to climb it, and we even put a swing on it, but after she passed…"
He sighs, "I just couldn't bring myself to look at it anymore, so I made the staff take it down, I couldn't bear to look at it any longer. It's sad news that the tree has fallen, and yet, a part of me rejoices in that there isn't a reminder outside the windows everyday… I've tried to distance myself from her… how cruel of a man you must think me to be, that would banish the memory of his only daughter."
"I think you're a grieving father. Thank you for telling your story to me, you did not have to."
Ichigo takes a moment to look over to Hana. She's staring, wide-eyed at her father. Such a horrible thing… the expression on her face. He can't let the story end like this.
"Actually, Kawahara-sama, I have a confession to make."
The lord raises an eyebrow, but does not say anything, so Ichigo continues.
"I've… always had a sensitivity to spiritual matters. I've seen your daughter since I've been here. At first… I thought she might've been related to staff, but hearing your story now, I can say for certain that it's her soul I've seen. I see her now, in fact, here, with us. You may not believe me, but she has something she'd like to say to you."
Hana takes the opportunity as what it is. She stands up and walks around the desk in order to sit next to her father. She holds one of his hands and although Ichigo knows that he can't see or hear her, he also knows that Kawahara can sense her the way he breaks eye contact to look at his hand. Hana tells Ichigo her message, and he relays it.
"She forgives you, and she asks you to forgive her for leaving you alone. She… she wishes that she could've been stronger."
Ichigo knows it's a delicate and intimate moment, here, now, in this room, so he turns his back. He pretends to not hear the emotions behind him. He does not offer condolences, nor try to be reassuring, for either of them.
This is not his experience to interfere with.
Eventually, Hana walks into his line of sight. "What do I do now?"
Ichigo stands. He bids the father next to him a respectful 'goodnight' before he leaves the room, Hana once again at his side. They head back to his room. Inside, Ichigo crosses to his bed and picks up Zangetsu.
"It's time for you to move on."
She looks at him timidly. "Move on where?"
"I'm not sure anymore," Ichigo admits. "But if it's like I remember, then it'll be somewhere you'll be seen and heard… and you'll get to pick a new family."
He looks at the hilt, and the seal is still there. He doesn't even know if it will still work, but it's worth a try.
The shinigami presses his zanpakuto to her forehead.
Her skin begins to glow.
"Thank you."
Preview Next Chapter;
Ichigo realizes for certain that his entire world has slipped from his fingers when he meets Death.
