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Chapter 18
Meg sat in Erik's bed completely speechless from what he had just said to her. Could he really have meant that he loved her? She thought for a moment that perhaps she was hallucinating from her head injury. Over the past few months Meg had begun to accept the fact that her feelings for Erik would always be one-sided. She was convinced that he would spend the rest of his life pining for Christine, and she would spend the rest of hers longing for him. But now it seemed that everything she had believed to be true about her relationship with Erik was completely amiss. No man had ever told her that he loved her before, and she found herself quite overwhelmed.
Erik studied the look on Meg's face for some kind of indication of what she was thinking or feeling. He had just told her that he loved her, and she was just gazing at him blankly in complete silence. It seemed like hours that he waited with his heart pounding for her to give him some sort of response, and then finally, she spoke.
"But, you said… I mean you told me that would always love Christine, and that you could never care for anyone else."
"I know what I told you Meg, and at the time I said it I thought it to be true. I was certain that the pain I felt could never subside and that my heart could never mend," he said as he grasped her small hand in his. "But I was wrong Meg. Somehow you have not only managed to heal my shattered heart, but you have also made me love you more than I ever thought I was capable of."
Meg continued to look into Erik's eyes, but he could tell by the expression on her poor bruised face that she was not yet convinced of his feelings for her.
"Meg, I can hardly explain how you have possessed my mind and soul. Rarely does a moment pass when my thoughts are not of you. I will do anything in the world to keep you near me," he said, trying desperately to make her trust him.
Meg felt herself becoming filled with pure elation that she had never felt before. She quickly decided as she listened to Erik that believing he loved her felt much better than doubting him. She also sensed the sincerity that was in his in his voice and in his eyes. Still at a loss for words, she reached out and tenderly placed her hand on the unmasked side of his face.
When Meg touched him, Erik felt the sensation run down his back and through his entire body. He suddenly wanted to pull her to him and kiss her passionately. But looking at her wounded face made him realize that he had to be very gentle with her. He reminded himself of all that she had endured from Silvain. He would simply not allow his own selfish desires to cause her any more discomfort.
Erik leaned in close to Meg and gently kissed her sore swollen lips. Despite her throbbing head, Meg ached for him to hold her tightly and kiss her deeply as he had that night on the roof. But Erik just carefully laid her down onto his bed, and then kissed her forehead softly. She did not want him to tell her that she needed to rest, but she somehow knew he would.
"Meg, the most important thing now is making certain that you recover. I have already disturbed you enough. Please, try to get some sleep," he said affectionately.
Meg nodded her head, and allowed Erik to pull the covers up over her shoulders. She watched as he began to leave the room.
"Erik?"
"Yes," he said turning to face her.
When his eyes met hers Meg suddenly realized that she had no idea why she had just said his name. As she looked at him while he waited for her to speak, she ached to tell him how she felt, but the words felt trapped inside her. He had just expressed such deep emotions to her, and she could not even seem to utter a word to him.
Grow up Meg, and stop acting like a frightened child, she told herself.
"Meg, do you need anything?" Erik asked obviously wondering why she had called his name.
"No, it's….nothing, I'm fine, thank you," she replied, despising her own cowardice.
"Are you certain?"
Just say it, she thought, it is never going to be easy. Just say it.
"Erik, I…I…I do love you." she finally managed to say though very timidly.
The words felt so foreign to her. She had alluded to loving Erik, but had never said it to his face.She immediately felt vulnerable and defenseless underhis pensive stare. This time she could not run from his presence as she had so many times before. Now it was she who waited breathlessly for a response from him.
Erik had heard Meg's words, and he had watched her say them. They were words that no one in all his life had ever spoken to him. They were the words that he had been convinced no one ever would. He instantly longed for Meg to say them over and over a thousand times just so he could be sure that she really had. He felt as though his heart might burst inside his chest.
Meg waited for Erik to say or do something. But for a few moments he just stood there. She saw his chest start rise and fall as his breathing seemed to become heavy. He then rushed back to the bed where she lay. He knelt beside her brushed his hands over her tussled hair.
"You will never be able to fathom what that means to me, Meg. If I were to die at this very moment, for the first time I could feel as though my plagued existence hasbeen worthwhile."
He could hardly contain the adoration that he had for her pulsing through every inch of his body, as he continued to stroke her hair. She started to sit up, but he would not allow it. As much as he yearned to touch her and hold her, Erik knew that she was still very fragile and in need of much rest.
"But I want to stay with you," she protested.
He could not resist tenderly kissing her on the lips once more, and this time it was even more difficult for him to pull himself away from her.
"Marguerite, you have undoubtedly altered my life forever, in only the past few minutes. I think that is a more than an adequate accomplishment for someone in your condition, and I must insist that now you rest. I promise that I will stay with you."
Meg did not refuse him. She felt a bit like a child being tucked into bed, but at the same time she felt safe and content.
Erik watched as Meg's doe-like brown eyes slowly fell shut. He continued to lovingly caress her head and back until well after she had fallen asleep. He had never known such genuine happiness as he had that day. For the first time, he felt that his life had a purpose. He endeavored to believe that at last his days of suffering and self loathing were finally coming to an end.
