Finding Home

Chapter 23

By Voodoo Queen

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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! I'm always happy to 'see' you all. I hope you're having a fantabulous day. I still can't believe we're over 20 chapters deep into this story. Time flies! I really think poor Amy needs some fluff to brighten her day before I completely crush her soul. I'm really mean to her and I feel really bad about it. Imma work some in to the next chapter, I promise. I did give her a little moment in this one, though. Just to be nice. Other than that, she's having a really weird day. The chapter seems to stop short but don't fret...the next one picks right up on where Sides was going with his little train of thought. Thank you to everyone who has added this to their faves and alerts. Major props to those who reviewed the last chapter: YaoiPrincess12, sakurawriter, Stranno Roza, Flamekaat, Autobot-Bre-Lightblast, KayleeChiara, MysticFire101, Pixiekatt, Annie, aelfwyne, silverleaf842, Tonythecool, JerseyPrime23. I appreciate all the comments and suggestions!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, just my own original characters and plot.

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Amy couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so miserable. The entire weekend had been one long, unending nightmare of discomfort and anxiety. She hadn't slept worth a damn, her dreams haunted by a now-familiar, invisible presence. The feeling in her chest swirled, expanding and contracting in time to the beating of her heart. Her head ached, a resonate pounding situated right behind her eyes that even a double dose of Extra Strength Tylenol hadn't been able to touch. To make matters worse, a deep-rooted feeling of loneliness had settled into the pit of her stomach and she was at a loss to explain where it was coming from.

No, that wasn't entirely true. She had some idea where it was coming from.

As strange as it felt to someone who literally had never had anyone but herself to worry about, she missed the twins. Just growing up, she'd been rotated through what felt like an endless stream of foster and group homes. Most of them had been horrible experiences that she'd rather not remember. She knew that once she was pulled from one that she'd be forgotten in the span of a couple days. Likewise, she'd done her best not to dwell on them, either. She'd often wondered what it would feel like to have someone that you missed when they weren't around, what it would feel like to have them miss you in return. She'd certainly never envisioned a scenario like this one.

It seems the pair had taken her request to be left alone seriously. She felt a gnawing guilt over how she'd dismissed the two of them. She'd not seen or heard from either of them since that day in the med bay. She'd been surprised and even a little disappointed when she'd finally left the barracks that morning. She'd at the very least expected to see Sideswipe in his usual spot, awaiting her with a jovial 'good morning' and a flirtatious grin. Her heart had sank a bit when she realized he was still nowhere to be found. She was going to be on her own that morning. It was at that moment that she realized just how dependent she was becoming on just the mechs' presence alone. It was a little scary, honestly, given the short time they'd actively spent time together.

Though, it was not as scary as having to face the world after making a complete fool of herself in front of an entire alien faction.

Amy took a deep breath and blowed it out slowly. She straightened her cover and squared her shoulders, standing as tall as her five-foot six-inch frame would allow. "Okay," she told herself. "You can do this."

Relying heavily on her military bearing to get her from point A to point B, Amy set off in the direction of the old bunker turned shiny, new CIC. As she crossed the base proper, greeting fellow personnel and saluting officers as she went, she couldn't help but keep an eye out for the twins and feel a little disappointed when she didn't see them anywhere. She knew it was no one's fault but her own. After all, she'd been the one to blow them off in favor of stewing alone in her own mortification all weekend.

A strange sensation washed over her as she walked. It was a prickly, almost itchy feeling that seemed to burrow down just beneath her skin. She halted in her march, a non-voluntary shudder wracking her body, and looked around herself wearily as the odd feeling of being watched crept into her consciousness. She turned around slowly in place, taking in her surroundings but not seeing anything out of place. Her fellow military members were all going about there business just like any other day and not paying her one iota of attention. She shrugged it off as an oddity. When she turned to face forward again, however, she almost had a heart attack.

"Jesus Christ!" She gasped, jumping back slightly.

"My apologies, Miss Doe." The Autobot CMO gazed down at her with a peculiar, almost puzzled expression. "I didn't mean to startle you but I saw you out and wanted to come over and ask how you were feeling."

"Oh," Amy nodded once she'd got her pounding heart back under control. She didn't believe someone so big should be able to move so quietly. It was a bit unnerving. "I-I feel much better. Thank you for asking."

"Hmm..." The medic hummed, still studying her intently. "I'm very glad to hear it. Have you noticed any tremors, heart palpitations or disturbances in your vision?"

"Uh," Amy's face twisted in confusion and concern. "No," she shook her head. "Nothing like that. Why?"

"Just following up," Ratchet assured with a small smile. "Standard procedure."

"Oh...okay. Well," Amy shuffled awkwardly as the mech continued to study her for an uncomfortably long moment. "I, uh, guess I should probably be going, then. I don't want to be late."

"Of course," Ratchet agreed. "Punctuality is important."

She had thought that the mech would go on about his way, leaving her to do the same. Instead, he casually, well, as casual as a giant robot can manage, strolled along with her. They walked in silence for a moment before Amy couldn't control her curiosity any longer. "Are you going to see Jazz?" She asked.

"No," Ratchet denied. "I've already seen him this morning. He's mending. Slowly but surely."

"Ah," Amy nodded. "That's- that's really great. So...is there something I can help you with?"

"Not at all." Ratchet stopped walking and smiled.

Amy shivered as the prickly/itchy feeling swept over her once more.

"You've done more than enough." The mech tipped his head in farewell. "Have a pleasant day."

"Yeah," Amy muttered, utterly confused, as she watched him go. "You, too."

Doe believed the day couldn't have gotten any stranger from there. She was wrong.

The office she shared with Jazz had become something of a sanctuary where she felt most comfortable and in her professional element. Usually, she was at ease, carrying out her duties with practiced efficiency. She wasn't one to brag but she was good at what she did, updating information in real time and, her new favorite pass time, utilizing Teletraan to track unusual movement through across the quadrants of the Milky Way. They certainly hadn't taught the fundamentals of mapping outer space in A School but she'd become proficient enough at it that Jazz trusted her enough to leave her to her own devices.

Today, however, the mech seemed to be hovering over her for some reason.

Amy was working on compiling the 12 o'clock report. It was something she'd done probably a hundred times before at her previous command. It was basically just a daily report detailing the status of major equipment, weapon systems, the status of any repairs being done and the time to complete them, and daily system operability test results. All departments were required to provide a detailed report in order to maintain operational and combat readiness. On board her ship, it would have been turned in to either the Commanding Officer or the Command Duty Officer. Lennox, however, insisted all reports detailing operational status be given to him directly where they would, in turn, be turned over to Prime and General Moreshower. Normally, she would have had it completed in no time flat. For some reason, though, any time she'd move, shift, or make any kind of noise, Jazz would be right there asking if she was alright and if she needed to take a break.

It was really messing with her productivity.

After reassuring the mech for probably the millionth time that she was perfectly fine, she was finally able to convince him to return to his own desk and complete some of his own work. A quick check of her watch told her she had twenty minutes left to complete her task and make her way to the main hangar for the 12 o'clock duty muster. She gave a quiet sigh of relief and dug back into the report with a vengeance. Having done it so many times before, she was able to complete it within ten minutes. She quickly printed it out and dug around in her desk for a manilla folder to put it in. Another quick glance at her watch and she was rising from her desk.

"Alright, Jazz," Amy announced as she grabbed her cover. "I'm going to go turn in the 12 o'clocks. Need anything while I'm out?"

Jazz swiveled around in his chair. "Wait up, D. I'll walk you over."

"What?" Amy looked at the mech, confused. "You don't have to do that. I told you, I'm perfectly fine."

The mech vented, "I know, scraplet. I'm just worried about you, that's all..."

"The other day was just a fluke," Amy insisted. "I'm not going to drop dead on my way to hand in our report, I promise."

A dark look passed over the TIC's face, as if he didn't quite believe what the woman was saying. He looked as if he wanted to argue, to refute her claim. Truthfully, he looked slightly guilty, as if he knew something that she didn't and was holding out on the details. First Ratchet, and now Jazz. What was going on this morning? Amy wanted to ask what the hell was wrong with everyone this morning but she was about to be late. She was saved from what she knew would probably be an argument over her being able to take care of herself by a sharp knock on the office door.

"It's open," Jazz called.

The door immediately opened to reveal Prowl waiting on the other side. He inclined his head in greeting, "Jazz, Petty Officer Doe."

"Hey, Prowler," Jazz answered.

The SIC must have picked up on the undercurrent of tension in the room. One of his brows raised minutely. "Is everything okay in here?"

"Yeah," Jazz nodded. "Just..." The mech trailed off, continuing to speak to the other mech in their strange, alien language.

Amy watched, befuddled and perplexed as the two continued to converse, each glancing in her direction every other moment, not even trying to be subtle about it. Her mouth pulled down into a frown. It was glaringly obvious that she was the topic of their conversation. Irritation bubbled up inside of her as well as a sharp pang of hurt. She felt much as she had each time her social workers had dragged her back into court after yet another failed placement. Instead of strangers debating her fate as if she weren't in the room, it was people she'd grown to view as friends and they didn't even have the decency to talk about her in a language she could understand.

"I'm just going to go," Amy announced before she said anything that she might regret later. "It was nice seeing you Prowl. I'll be back, Jazz."

With the report tucked under her arm, she marched quickly out of the office. She walked as fast as she could without breaking into an all out run. By the time she reached the end of the hallway and slammed her hand down onto the security panel to be let out, she could hear Jazz calling after her. Without so much as a backward glance, she waved as she slipped out of the door and allowed it to securely lock behind her once again. She didn't falter or slow as she continued on across the main area of the bunker to get to the elevator. She jabbed the button violently with her index finger over and over again until the doors opened. It wasn't until she'd stepped inside, the doors had closed, and was on her way back up above ground that she finally breathed a sigh of relief.

She calmed some when she emerged to see the rest of the base carrying on with business as usual. She took a brief moment to compose herself but another look at her watch had her cursing under her breath. She took off at a trot toward the main hangar where Lennox spent most of his time. She cut in between some of the smaller buildings and workshops, taking a shortcut. She rounded a corner, nearly to her destination, only to almost plow into the Autobot's CMO once again. That same prickly/itchy feeling from the morning flowed over her again, causing a tremor to wrack her frame.

"Miss Doe," Ratchet greeted. "Lovely to see you yet again."

"Yeah," Amy greeted, "You, too. I'm sorry. I hate to be rude but I really can't talk right now. I'm running late to the 12 o'clock duty muster."

"No need for apologies," Ratchet assured. "I won't keep you. Still feeling well, though, I hope. No difficulty breathing or swallowing? No loss of sensation in your extremities?"

"Uh," Amy's forehead creased in worry. "No, Ratchet. Why? All these medical questions are really starting to worry me."

"Nothing to worry about, I assure you," the CMO smiled. "I simply didn't have a chance to speak with you before you left the med bay the other day. I'll let you carry on. Have a nice afternoon."

"You, too," Amy replied. The strange feeling washed over her again before the mech turned to leave. She watched him go, muttering to himself as he went. She was really beginning to think that she was the subject of some kind of conspiracy today. Duty called, however, and so she shook it off, finally making it to her destination nearly five minutes late. She hated being late.

Lennox was in his usual spot, up in the mezzanine where a bank of computers and communication equipment were being constantly monitored. Ironhide was there, as well, leaning on the rail next to the Captain. The man and the mech seemed to be engaged in a friendly conversation. As she approached and began her climb up the stairs, their conversation came to an abrupt end. Ironhide honed in on her immediately, his mouth plates rearranging themselves into a troubled frown and his optics narrowing in puzzlement. His gaze was intense, so much so, that Amy found herself subconsciously shying away from him as she approached the Captain.

"Captain Lennox, sir," she greeted as she saluted.

"Petty Officer Doe," Lennox replied with an easy smile as he returned the salute. "Running a little late today, aren't you?"

"Yes...yes, sir." Doe replied, her face flushing in both embarrassment and irritation. "I apologize. It's been...well, it's been a strange morning to say the least. It won't happen again."

The Captain waved off the apology. "You're fine, OS2." The man chuckled, "It happens to the best of us." He accepted the folder with the report inside of it. "Anything going on I should know about?"

"No, sir." Doe shook her head, shivering slightly as she caught Ironhide still staring at her from the corner of her eye. "Everything is pretty quiet."

"Sounds about right," the Captain sighed. "It's been too quiet for my liking, lately. Even the Big Guy is getting nervous."

"So I've been hearing," Doe nodded. She caught Ironhide's eye again and swallowed nervously. "Well, I-I'll let you get back to work, Sir. I'm going to head to chow."

"Take it easy, OS2," Lennox bid the woman farewell. "Enjoy your lunch."

"Thank you, Sir." Amy saluted the man, waited for it to be returned, and then hustled back down off the mezz. She hurried out of the hangar as quickly as she'd hurried in, all too aware of Ironhide's optics tracking her every movement.

Chow, at least, was a pretty tame affair for the most part.

She'd left the hangar and headed straight for the base shuttle's stop. By the time she'd arrived on the other side of the base and was walking toward the chow hall, she'd almost been able to convince herself that she was overreacting...almost. She took her place in the line and waited patiently while those in front of her were served. When it was her turn, she opted for a slice of pepperoni pizza and some French fries. Not the healthiest of selections but she figured that after how her morning went she was entitled to indulge in some good old junk food. She consoled her healthy side by also grabbing a fruit cup and a bottled water to drink.

She found an empty table in the very back corner of the room and sat herself there. It was the perfect place to simply veg out, eat, and people watch. She hadn't really gotten out much to socialize with anyone on base...anyone human, that is. She did see a few familiar faces, though. None seemed to pay her any particular attention, however. It was fine by her. She did manage catch a glance of EW3 Monroe. The first she'd seen of him in she couldn't even remember how long. She'd politely smiled and waved when he looked in her direction. The man's eyes had widened in surprise and he'd hesitantly waved back before making a mad dash to the other side of the room. Amy simply sighed and finished the rest of her meal with her eyes focused solely on her food.

Once she'd finished eating and returned her tray to the scullery, she made a quick stop into the little Mobile Canteen shop and grabbed a couple granola bars, per her usual routine, and stuffed them into a pocket. She'd made a mental resolution that the afternoon was going to be better than the morning had been. She'd even decided that, once her day was done, that she would try to seek out the twins and try to apologize to them for the way she'd treated them in the med bay. With more confidence than she actually felt, she marched straight out of the chow hall with purpose...only to find herself at the mercy of the Autobot's Chief Medical Officer once again. The mech was leaning against the flag pole out in front of the building, doing a horrible job of being inconspicuous.

Amy eyed the mech wearily, "Ratchet?"

"Miss Doe!" Ratchet greeted, trying to sound surprised. "It seems we're bumping into one another quite a lot today."

"Yeah," she suspiciously replied. "It does, doesn't it?"

The mech casually asked, "Have a nice lunch?"

Amy shrugged, "It was alright. Pizza and French fries. Nothing to write home about."

Ratchet chuckled, "Yes, I've heard the food here leaves much to be desired."

"Depends on the time of day," Amy supplied. "Breakfast and dinner are usually pretty good."

All pretense and pleasantries pushed aside, the CMO outright asked, "Tell me, since you've ingested lunch are you experiencing any gastrointestinal disturbances? Nausea? Vomiting? Diarrhea?"

"What?" Amy's eyes widened, "No! Seriously, what is going on?"

"As I've said," the mech soothed. "I'm simply following up. I like to be thorough."

Amy opened her mouth to argue. She wanted to let the mech know that follow ups usually didn't entail stalking patients and hijacking them with medical questions at every opportunity. She didn't get an opportunity, however, since the mech raised his hand to cut off her speech before she even got started.

"Apologies, Miss Doe." The mech shot her an apologetic smile. "Prowl is informing me that I'm needed back in the med bay. There's been a...scuffle."

Without any further ado, the mech had made is way back over to the street and had gracefully compacted himself down into the form of a Search and Rescue Hummer before driving off leaving Amy standing there feeling more confused than she had been before.

"What the hell?" She asked to no one in particular.

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Amy was sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. She was thankful that by the time she'd made it back to the bunker that Jazz and Prowl had both been absent. It gave her some peace and quiet to think things over. She didn't know what was happening with her today, why everyone seemed so preoccupied with her and treating her so oddly. She understood that some worry was, perhaps, normal. She'd fainted in Prime's office, for goodness sake. What she didn't understand was how everyone, the bots at least, were treating her as if she had some kind of horrible condition. She had that same feeling that she'd been getting off and on since her arrival on the island, that she was being excluded from something important. It was like they all knew something that she didn't and were going to great lengths not to let her in on their little secret.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the office door easing open.

"Ames?" A hesitant voice quietly asked.

Amy startled a bit, turning in her chair to see that the sliver twin had his head poked into the office. "Sideswipe," she breathily acknowledged.

"Hey," the mech shot the woman a lopsided smile. "Is it okay if I come in?"

"Yes," Amy eagerly agreed, standing and going to the rail that surrounded her work space. "Please, come in."

"Thanks," Sides smiled widely as he opened the door all the way and rolled inside. He closed the door behind himself softly before moving across the room the lean on the rail next to the woman. "Look, Ames, I know you said you wanted to be left alone but-"

"No," Amy cut him off. "I'm sorry about the other day. It was a bad morning and I didn't feel well and...I just...I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Sideswipe shook his head. "I should be sorry. You may not have noticed," the mech chuckled, "But I can be a little, uh, overzealous."

"No," it was Amy's turn to shake her head. "You're fine. It's me. I can be a little antisocial sometimes."

"Well," Sideswipe bargained, "How about I work on my enthusiasm and you work on your social skills and we call it even? Deal?"

"Deal," Amy breathed in relief and smiled. Another thought struck her suddenly. "Uh...where's Sunstreaker?"

Sides vented, "He and Mirage had a little, ehm, disagreement."

"Oh, no." Amy frowned, "Nothing serious, I hope. I heard there was some kind of incident requiring the need of a medic."

"Nah," Sideswipe assured, "Just a conflict of personality. Don't get me wrong, Mirage is an alright guy but he can be a little haughty and condescending sometimes...well, most of the time. Sunstreaker, especially, takes exception to that. So," the mech continued, "Prowl put him on monitor duty till he cools down."

"Ah," Amy nodded, a bit disappointed that the yellow mech was tied up but certainly happy that he wasn't laid up in the med bay. "I'm sorry. I hope it goes by fast for him."

"Don't worry about Sunny. He'll be fine. I'll let him know that you were thinking about him, though." Sides winked at the woman. "It'll make his day."

Amy blushed but laughed just the same. "If that's all it takes to make his day he definitely needs to get out more."

"We've been out there, Ames." Sideswipe grinned flirtatiously, "Trust me, as far as we're concerned, you're the best thing this planet has going for it."

"O-oh...well," Amy blushed harder. "I-I guess I'll take your word for it..."

"So," Sides continued, changing the subject, "What's the warden have you working on today?"

Amy cocked a brow in amusement. "If you're referring to Jazz, just the same old, same old." She motioned to her computer. "He wired Teletraan into my terminal. I've just been sitting here watching the feeds. It's pretty quiet."

Sideswipe propped his chin in his hand, "Sounds boring."

"Yeah,"Amy agreed with a nod. "It is, but..." Amy trailed off. She was going to say that it was better to be holed up in here watching a computer screen than to be out there with all the weirdness but she stopped herself.

"But?" Sides pressed, nudging the woman gently, "Come on, Ames, don't leave me hanging."

Amy frowned and shook her head, "But...nothing. Never mind. It's not important."

"Are you okay?" Sides asked concernedly. "You look like you've got something heavy on your mind all of a sudden."

"No, really," Amy gave a tight smile. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"If it's nothing," Sideswipe reasoned, "You wouldn't be worrying about it. Now come on, tell me what's grinding your gears. Maybe I can help you figure it out."

Amy chewed her lip nervously, and really looked at the mech. He seemed interested and sincere. He was also the only one who hadn't been treating her like she was about to keel over and die at any moment. He was comfortable and familiar. She trusted him. She took a deep breath, "Sideswipe, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," the mech jovially agreed. "You can ask me anything."

Amy swallowed hard and looked the mech dead in the optics. "Is...is there something wrong with me?"

Sideswipe looked confused, "What do you mean, Ames?"

"I mean, you'd tell me if there was something wrong with me, right?" Amy explained, "Everyone has been really weird today. Jazz keeps asking me if I'm okay every time I move like he's afraid I'm going to drop dead on him. Prowl stopped by during his rounds and the two of them started talking in whatever language it is you guys speak but they kept looking over at me every couple seconds. I know they were discussing me. Then, I ran into Ironhide when I was dropping off the 12 o'clock report and he just stood there staring at me like I'd sprouted a second head. And," she leaned in as close as the rail would allow, whispering, "I think Ratchet might be following me."

"Oh, Ames," Sides shook his head. "I'm sorry. And they say Sunny and I lack subtlety. Just ignore them, sparklet. You're fine. Jazz and Ratchet are just worried about you after the other day in Prime's office. Prowl is Prowl. He stays up in everyone's business whether you want him there or not. Ironhide," the mech shrugged, "He's just a rude aft, in general. There's nothing wrong with you."

"Are you sure?" Amy asked, "You were there. You're sure Ratchet didn't say anything? Every time I bump into him he's asking me all kinds of weird medical questions. I'm kind of starting to worry..."

"I'm positive," Sideswipe assured with a gentle smile. "Trust me, sweet spark, there's nothing for you to be worried about." He reached out and gently grazed the side of her face with the tip of one finger and added in a soft rumble, "You're absolutely perfect."

At that moment, something came over Amy and she suddenly realized that she was close enough to the mech that she could see each and every detail of the incredibly tiny and delicate mechanisms that controlled the aperture of his softly glowing, blue optics. They were fascinating, really. The intricacy was amazingly beautiful and she didn't understand why she hadn't noticed how lovely they were before. She also found herself wondering if Sunstreaker's were the same. She wished the other mech were here, as well, so she could compare the two.

Also, seemingly for the first time, she realized how perfectly symmetrical Sideswipe's face was. It was aesthetically pleasing, to say the very least. No, if she was going to be honest with herself, he was actually quite handsome to be a mechanical being. Sunstreaker, too, was quite pleasing to the eye, if she was going to make admissions to herself. She should have been shocked by this internal revelation but for some reason it felt right in her head. She was lost in that moment and couldn't seem to snap herself out of it. Tentatively, she reached out and lightly traced her own fingers over the side of his face in return.

"Ames..." the mech whispered. His optics shuttered and he leaned slightly into her touch. He nearly purred as her other hand came up to trace the same path down the other side of his face. His optics cracked open darkened from their normal electric blue to almost cobalt. He whispered something else in his native language that Amy couldn't understand and gently took her tiny hands into his own large ones. He pulled her closer, close enough so that he could nuzzle his nasal plates gently against her much smaller nose in the best show of affection he could perform given the circumstances.

Amy took in a shuddering breath. She could feel her heart pounding hard against her ribs, surrounded by what felt like a warm, fuzzy blanket of electricity. It was by no means unpleasant. She pulled away from the mech slightly, staring at him in fascination as if just seeing him for the very first time. It was almost a surreal moment and she ran through the entire gamut of emotions before finally settling on disbelief. She wasn't sure what to make of him or his brother, of herself, of this strange 'connection' they professed to share. It was all too confusing and this new...development...only further muddled things in her mind.

Amy felt her face flush, "Sideswipe..."

"It's okay," Sides assured, his voice slightly deeper and more rough sounding. "I swear to you, it's okay. We're all going to figure this thing out, sweet spark. I promise."

Amy swallowed. Her mouth was dry but she nodded, "Okay..."

Sideswipe cleared his vocal processor, trying to break some of the tension that had built between them. "This office space, though, Ames...I have to tell you," He smiled, "Something is definitely wrong here."

Amy, grateful for the distraction turned slightly to survey her desk space. "What's wrong with my office?"

"It's so..." the mech answered. "Empty. There's nothing personal that says it's your's. Where's all the photos and nick knacks? I've walked through the Ops Center, their desks are full of pictures."

"I, uh," Amy shrugged one shoulder. "I don't have anything like that."

"Well," Sideswipe vented, feeling more steady, "I guess we'll have to take care of that too, huh?"

End of Chapter 23