Sorry for the long wait! I was having trouble uploading this chapter! I think it is the longest one yet, so I hope you like it. It gets a little steamy, so be prepared. I would love for lots of people to review, your comments and ideas are so helpful.
Chapter 19
Several days had passed since Erik rescued Meg from the La Havre Inn and brought her to his home beneath the Opera. He had scarcely allowed her to get out of bed since she had been there. He brought her everything she could possibly need or want, so that she would be able to rest and recover. Slowly she was beginning to feel more like herself. The swelling in her face had started to subside, her bruises had healed considerably, and she finally felt completely rid of the vile whiskey that Silvain had forced down her throat.
Meg woke up having no idea of the time of day to find that she was all alone in Erik's bedroom. Recently when she had awakened, Erik was usually right there watching over her while she slept. He was always near, caring for her and making sure she was comfortable, but he had not kissed her passionately since that cold night on the roof of the Opera. He would stroke her hair and gently kiss her cheeks and forehead, but nothing more. Meg could not have been more thankful and appreciative for the attentive care he had given her, but recently he made her feel like she was only a child, and that was the last thing she wanted to be in his eyes.
Every time Erik had come to her bedside to check on her or bring her something to eat, Meg had ached for him to look at her with desire in his eyes like he had the night of the Masquerade. She longed for him to take her in his arms so she could touch him and be with as a woman, not a little girl.
Meg decided that she was feeling much too restless to stay in bed any longer, and she was ready to finally get up and about. Erik's absence gave her the perfect opportunity to do this. She got out of bed and immediately caught sight of her own disheveled reflection in the mirror. Her hair was wild and tangled from a lack of brushing, and her face had bruises that were turning from purple to a strange hue of green. She had several scrapes that had scabbed over, and she was wearing a wrinkled white shirt that practically swallowed her whole.
No wonder he hasn't touched me, she thought. I look absolutely frightful.
Meg assumed that Erik was busy with his composing, so she decided that she was going to do her best to make herself look somewhat appealing to him again, or at the very least presentable. She was determined to make it clear to Erik that she was very much a mature woman, and she was fairly certain that she knew exactly how to go about this.
Erik sat at his massive organ working on his most recent composition. For weeks it had disagreed with him; he disputed every single note, and thus had made very little progress. Everything he played sounded horrid to his well trained ear. But since Meg had been there, he was able to compose melodies that he knew were better than anything he had written prior. He felt content for the first time in his life, and this allowed him to let note after note flow from his mind to his compositions.
Erik realized that it had been several hours since he had last been to check on Meg. However, he was glad that once again he could get so lost in his music that he could loose track of time. Erik had just stood up from his organ to go look in on Meg, when he saw her standing before him in the doorway.
He was completely stunned by the way she had changed from only a few hours ago. Her blond hair was flowing in shiny waves down her shoulders and back. The bruises and cuts on her face were still visible, but all Erik seemed tonotice were her full rose colored lips and dark sparkling eyes. When he looked down to the rest of her body, he realized that she was wearing only wool blanket from his bed that was slightly falling off her petite shoulders and revealing the slightest hint of hershapely form beneath.
Erik felt his heart starting to beat more rapidly. He hoped that she would say something quickly because he was so taken aback by her transformation that no words would come to him.
Ahh... there is that look I remember, Meg thought to herself triumphantly as she watched Erik gaze up and down at her in stunned silence.
She could once again see the lust in his luminous green eyes. Meg decided that she was not going to miss this opportunity. She was going to whatever she had to in order to lure him in to the amorous embrace that she had been yearning for. She was going to prove to him that she was not a little girl.
"I hope I am not disturbing you, Monsieur Phantom," she said in a playful yet seductive tone.
"Of course not," he somehow managed to get out. Then he paused for a moment and said, "You have been up for awhile I see, and….well," he nodded at the blanket that covered what he only hoped was her nude form.
"Oh yes… this," she said, without a hint of bashfulness. "I just could not bear to have on that same shirt for another minute, and I was not sure what else I could put on," she explained innocently.
There was a moment of awkward silence while Meg waited for Erik to respond.
Get a hold of yourself. She is injuredfor God's sake, he thought, attempting to calm the impure thoughts about Meg that were whirling wilding in his mind.
"Um…I am sure we can find you something," he finally said. "But Marguerite, I am not sure that you are quite ready to be up and about just yet, I think you may need some more time to recover," he said trying desperately to sound calm or at least sane.
Meg felt her cheeks becoming flushed with anger. There it was again, that fatherly demeanor that made her feel like a twelve year old girl. She began to wonder if there was something wrong with her. Could she have just imagined the suggestive look in his eyes only moments ago?
"I really must insist that you get back into bed. It is much cooler down here than what you are accustomed to, and I would hate for you to add sickness to your injuries," he said hoping she could not see on his face how intensely he desired her.
"I will not get back in bed," she said heatedly. "You are not my father or my keeper, and I will do as I please!"
Meg then stormed away from him in a dramatic fit of anger. She did not go back to his bed, but instead went into the room that was once made for Christine and then violently slammed the door.
Erik was baffled as to what he had said to offend her. In the past when she had run from him, he usually had some idea as to the reason. But now, he was just utterly confused. He thought about their brief conversation in his head, and hewas sure that he had not been rude in any way.
This is ridiculous, he thought. I haven't even done anything... this time.
Erik pounded on the door to the bedroom where Meg had locked herself inside.
"Marguerite, open the door! Come out this instant and speak to me!" Erik said loudly.
"Why… so you can put me to bed like I am an infant? I do not need to be told what to do by you or anyone else!"
Erik felt his blood beginning to boil.
"Judging by your present behavior that is exactly what you need. You are acting like a spoiled child! Now open the door or I swear I will break it down!" he thundered becoming more and more infuriated with her.
Meg was outraged with Erik for once again acting like her father, but she realized that he was right about how she was behaving, and that made her even more irritated. Locking herself in a bedroom and refusing to come out was extremely juvenile, and she knew it.
Fine, she thought. If it is an adult he wants, then it is an adult he shall have.
She went over to the door to unlock it, but paused to allow the blanket she was wrapped in to fall just a little more off her shoulders.
Erik was still banging on the door, when he finally heard it unlock. Meg slowly opened it, and instantly her eyes met his. She was giving him a look that was somehow both angry and provocative. Erik suddenly felt powerless before her.
"You wanted to talk, Monsieur?" she said with a sarcastic sweetness.
Erik was now just close enough that he could breathe in the scent of her clean fragrant skin. Her smoky brown eyes seemed to look right through him, but he refused to beg for forgiveness when he was certain he had done nothing wrong.
"Yes, I do," he said.
Meg moved a little closer to him, still looking directly into his eyes with her piercing dark stare. Erik glanced down and saw the curve of her breasts that was slightly revealed at the top of the blanket she held tightly in her hands. Although he tried to suppress it, Erik felt his anger being replaced by the heat of lust that began to churn deep in the pit of his stomach.
"And what is it you would like to discuss, Monsieur?" she said still being obviously insincere.
Erik could not prevent himself from beginning to breathe more heavily. He tried desperately to control the compulsions of his body so that he could speak to Meg of sound mind.
"Why are you so angry, Marguerite? Why would you stomp away from me like a petulant child for no reason at all?" he retorted.
There it was again. This time he wasn't treating her like a child, he was accusing her of acting like one. But despite her animosity and resentment, the closeness to Erik's masculine body was making her start to feel flushed and dizzy. Everything about him was arousing to her, even the white mask that mysteriously covered half of his face.
"I assure you, Monsieur Phantom," she said with great formality as she brazenly leaned her soft body into his, "I am not a child."
Their eyes were still locked with one another's, and her face was now only inches from his.
I've gone this far, Meg told herself, trying to muster all her courage at once.
She leaned up and pressed her soft lips aggressively to his. Her kiss was not slow and gentle as it had been before. It was suddenly eager and sensual as she slipped her silky tongue inside of Erik's welcoming mouth.
Erik returned Meg's kiss with a seemingly savage need. He hungrily kissed her lips and drove his tongue into the depths of her smooth silken mouth. She continued to hold the blanket that was wrapped around her tightly, as Erik began to greedily explore her body. He rubbed his hands down her back and pulled her into him right below her hips. He heard her let out a small moan of pleasure, and he became frenzied with desire.
He could hardly believe thatMeg had initiated such a moment. But he immediately began toworry when he felt his body begin react to his wanton arousal. However, to his surprise, Meg did not try to pull herself away from him. In fact, he was shocked by the way she seemed to be almost forcibly pushing herself up against his large frame.
Without thinking, he lifted Meg up with great ease right where they stood in the door way. She instinctively wrapped her long legs around his waist while he held her in his powerful arms. They continued to kiss with an almost violent fury. He leaned her up against the wall forcefully, and he could feel her squeezing him tightly between her legs. Erik thought he might completely loose his mind; all he could sense were the animalistic urges of his own body. His hands felt Meg's satiny bare skin where the blanket that she still held began to fall. He had become blind with carnal need.
Within moments he had carried Meg to the bed that was once intended for Christine. With her still wrapped around his waist, he collapsed onto the yielding mattress. Erik just faintly felt Meg's hips slowly begin to move naturally against him. The sensation was enoughto drive him absolutely mad. He had to have her…now. He held her closely, and at last she let the blanket that concealed her dropped to the floor. He felt the heat from the supple skin of her naked body. He was now certain that Meg was going to allow him to have her right there at that moment.
Erik wanted her so badly thathe thought it might actually kill him, but almost as if something else was controlling his actions, he felt himself starting to pull his lips away from hers. Despite every ounce ofdesire in him,he reached for the blanket that had fallen down around them and wrapped it back around Meg's shoulders. He lifted her off of him and quickly walked across the room.
When he turned back to look and Meg, he could tell she completely confused by his behavior.
Hell, he was confused by his behavior. I must be out of my mind, he thought, as he looked at Meg lying on the bed half naked and flushed with lust…for him.
"Erik, did I do something wrong?" she asked, sounding hurt.
He walked back over to her, and she sat up to meet him.
"No, Meg you did nothing wrong, nothing at all," he said, trying to reassure her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck causing the blanket to fall and expose her body to him once again. She then began to kiss him deeply. He gave into her for a moment. She was so beautiful, and she actually seemed to genuinely want him. It was a moment he had thought he would never experience, and certainly never with a ravishing women that he loved.
Erik gently took her arms from around neck and held her hands in his. He looked deeply into her eyes.
"We cannot do this Meg, not like this," he said as he attempted to cover her up again.
Meg was dumbfounded. She had no idea why he had stopped, and she was also very consumed by the feeling of wanting that had taken control of her.
"But, I love you Erik…I thought that you loved me. I thought you would want to be with me. I want you to make me truly yours," she said, trying again to touch her lips to his.
"Dear God, Meg…are you trying to kill me?" he asked still frustrated with physical desire. "Of course I want to be with you. I want it more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I am already afraid that I may regret this decision forever, but you must understand that it is because I love youthat I cannot do this."
Erik could tell that Meg still did not understand what he trying to tell her. Her big brown eyes were downcast and she had wrapped herself up in the wool blanket and pulled slightlyaway from him.
"Meg, please listen to me," he said lifting her chin so that he could look into her sad eyes. "I love you, and I simply will not disgrace you like this out of desperate lust. When we are together for the first time it should be pure and perfect. Meg, I never dreamed that I would ever be able to have a woman like you in all of my tormented life, and I will not make you a whore by violating you while we are unwed."
Meg looked at him with pain in her eyes, and Erik wished instantly that he could take back his words.What he was trying to profess was that hewanted her to be his wife before they made love. But somehow in the process he had destroyed the meaning behind his own words. He had managed to insult her decency when he was trying to ask her to marry him. He had no idea how to undo the damaging things that had just escaped his mouth.
"Is that what you were doing... violating me? And if I would have given myself to you, body and soul, then I would have been a whore in your eyes?" she asked dejected and hurt.
"Meg… that's not what I meant," he tried to explain, but he could see thatshe had already closed herself off from him.
"Well, you have no need to worry about my chastity any further because I promise you that I will never give you the chance to violate me ever again," she said angrily though her eyes were glassy with tears.
"Meg, please, can't you understand...I was trying to tell that I want to marry you," he pleaded.
"Marry you? Why… to keep me from becoming some filthy harlot? No, I will never marry you!" she screamed as she attempted to hold back her tears.
Her words stung Erik sharply. He suddenly felt sick with fear that he had ruined the most wonderful thing that ever occurred in his agonizing life. The thought of Meg leaving him made him bitter with both sadness and rage. Now that he hadexperienced aglimpse of life with her, he knew that he could never endure being alone again.
"I am getting out of here right now," Meg shouted, "I hope I never see you again!"
She started to leave the room, but Erik grabbed her fiercely by the arm. His fear of losing her and being alone took over his actions. He simply could not let her go.
"Let go of me… you can't keep me here! I'm leaving, and you can't stop me!" she yelled, as she struggled in vain against his powerful grasp.
"I can keep you here, and I will!" he roared back at her.
"I despise you, and I will never be your wife…ever!"
"You will hold your tongue from now on Mademoiselle," he said tightening his grip on her arm. "Despise me or not you will stay here, and you will be my wife if I command it!"
Meg finally worked her way out of his grip. She bolted from the room and he heard a door slam and lock for the second time in the past few hours. He could hear her sobbing down the hall, and it broke his heart. He did not know how things had fallen apart so quickly. It was only moments ago that he was on the verge of making love to Meg, and now she hated him. He had said horrible things to her that he knew he could not take back.
You stupid fool, he thought. You had everything you ever longed for and you've ruined it all.
Erik stood silently outside Meg's door until he heard her eventually stop weeping. He did nottry to speak to her, but he still wanted to be near her. She had said that she despised him. She was the only woman who had ever loved him, and he destroyed that love in only a matter of days.
Erik pondered how he couldpossibly restore his relationship with Meg over and over again. It seemed his options were impervious and few.He could force her to stay with him and marry him like he had threatened which would at least keep him from being alone. He could give in and allow her to leave him and then die slowly of heart ache. Erik decided his only feasible option was to try to keep Meg there long enough to attempt to earn her forgiveness. If he did this, maybe there would be some chance of her being able to love him again.
