Finding Home
Chapter 25
By Voodoo Queen
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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! I'm always excited to post a new chapter for you guys. I hope you're ready for the next one! I want to thank all of you who've added this to alerts and faves. I'm glad to have you tagging along with us. To my reviewers, you know I love you! MysticFire101, YaoiPrincess12, Annie, Songbird's Spirit, Stranno Roza, HenriettaDarlington, sakurawriter, KayleeChiara, Tonythecool, ElleGirl19, Autobot-Bre-Lightblast, iGleep, DaLadyofSouls, Griffin fath, LapisLazuliRose, Pixiekatt
Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, just my own original characters and plot.
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"Sunny, wait!" Sideswipe hurried after his brother. "Are you sure this is a good idea right now? I mean, I really think she's starting to warm up to us. Don't get me wrong, I want to tell her, but maybe if we give her just a little more time-"
Sunstreaker turned on his twin, "We don't have a little more time, Sides. Have you been around base lately? Would you rather she hear it from us or slagging Ironhide? Because with the way things are going, that's what's going to happen. How well do you think that would go over with her?"
"I know," Sideswipe vented. "You're right, Sunny. I just...things are more or less going well right now. I don't want to rush and frag this all up."
"She's a reasonable femme," Sunstreaker stated, though he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well. "She'll understand."
"Right," Sides agreed, trying to be optimistic. "You're right, Ames is sensible and intelligent. It'll be fine. We'll be fine..."
Sunstreaker had told Amy that they would meet her outside the bunker at 1600 but they were almost 30 minutes early. It was just enough time to fret and worry until she arrived. Sunstreaker had plopped his aft down onto the hood of a Humvee that someone had the misfortune of parking next to the bunker to wait for the woman. The young Army Private who returned to move the vehicle a few minutes later took one look at the brooding, glowering mech and turned right back around and left the way he'd come. Sideswipe, though, couldn't stand still. He was a ball of nervous energy and kept circling the vehicle, skating around it in anxious circles.
"So," the silver twin finally spoke again, "How do you want to play this, Sunny?"
Sunstreaker vented and shrugged, "We'll just...tell it like it is. What else can we do at this point?"
"Oh, yeah," Sideswipe laughed but it was absent of any humor. "When she comes out we'll just calmly explain to her that the three of us are practically betrothed and I'm sure she'll just jump at the very first available opportunity to hop into the berth with us, bond, and carry our sparklings. I'm sure that's every single human woman's romantic fantasy come true."
"Will you shut your fragging face?" Sunstreaker punched his brother in the arm as he skated by again. "It's called tact, you glitch! Stop acting like a slaghead. Weren't you the one who told me that this would all work out if we just sat her down and explained everything?"
"I know, I know! I'm sorry!" Sideswipe vented. Rubbing his arm, he dropped down onto the hood next to his twin. "I just didn't think it would be this hard. I know she's human, Sunny, but...I really, really like her. I want to keep her."
"Yeah, well..." Sunstreaker nodded toward the elevator. "I guess we're about to see if it's meant to be or not. That may be her on her way up."
Sideswipe looked in the direction his brother indicated and, sure enough, the elevator was making its way back to the surface. The mech drew air deep down into his intakes and cycled it back out slowly as he pushed himself up off of the vehicle. Skating closer to the elevator, he could feel his tank churn in nervous anticipation. When the doors opened, however, an easy smile came to his lip plates without him even trying. "Ames!"
Amy, a bit taken aback by the mech's sudden appearance as soon as she exited, smiled nervously. "Hey, Sideswipe."
"Squishie," Sunstreaker greeted as he ambled over.
"Hi...uh," Amy cleared her throat. "Thanks again for your help this morning. I really appreciated it."
Sunstreaker nodded, a slight smile playing at his mouth. "Don't mention it."
"Ames..." Sideswipe began. "I'm really, really sorry about that. I just thought it would be nice for you to have something besides four blank walls and Jazz to look at all day. I didn't mean to upset you or cause you any trouble or anything like that. Sunny made me take everything back to their rightful owners so..."
"No," Amy shook her head. "It's fine, You didn't upset me. It's just...for future reference, the whole point of photographs is that you care about the people in them. A desk full of strangers staring back at you is kind of, um, awkward to say the least."
"Duly noted," the mech grinned, albeit mischievously. "I'm still adapting to this whole 'human culture' thing. I'll do better next time, I promise."
"Sideswipe..." Amy warned in a voice she'd usually reserved for some of the more unruly junior enlisted sailors she'd used to supervise at her previous command.
The mech threw his hands up in a show of surrender, a, earnest laugh rumbling out of him, "Kidding! I'm kidding!"
"Mmm," Amy eyed him as if she didn't quite believe a word he said.
Sunstreaker chuckled and shook his head before bringing them back around to the subject at hand. "No one gave you any problems today, did they?"
"Nope," Amy denied. "It was actually pretty quiet today."
"Good," Sunny nodded. Then, he grew serious, "Look, Squishie...Amy," he corrected, using her proper name for probably the first time. This was serious business with serious consequences. She deserved at least that much respect given the information they intended to lay on her, "Like I was saying earlier, there's something the three of us really need to discuss. If you're ready, we can go somewhere quiet and talk about it."
"Yeah," Amy swallowed nervously. She'd almost been able to put the dreaded 'discussion' out of her head for a moment...almost. She couldn't deny that she was curious as to what was so important but her history dictated that any time anyone wanted to sit her down for a private conversation that she was about to get kicked in the gut. She honestly liked the twins, perhaps like wasn't really the right word for it but she really couldn't explain it an better and hope to make any sense. She simply hoped this wasn't another instance of someone deciding she wasn't worth their time. She nodded hesitantly, "Sure."
Sideswipe easily picked up on the woman's anxiety. Pit, he was nervous, himself. He shot her a reassuring smile, though. "It'll be fine, Ames. Come on," he offered, "You can ride with me."
Nodding in acquiescence, Amy watched as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker transformed into their car modes. Even though she'd witnessed the transformation dozens of time by now, she was still just as enthralled as she'd been the very first time she'd witnessed the phenomenon in the hangar. She didn't think the novelty would ever wear off. She didn't think she wanted it to. When the driver's side door of the silver Lamborghini popped open in welcome, she hesitantly climbed inside.
The ride was mostly silent. It seemed, at least to Amy, that she wasn't the only one who was a bit on the anxious side. She tried to occupy herself and center her mind by watching the scenery roll by. From where they were driving, they had a beautiful view of the beach and the blue, rolling waves beyond. Sides had the windows down and she's closed her eyes, feeling the fresh air on her face as the scent of ocean filled her nose. It was a safe, familiar smell and by the time they arrived at their destination, she was feeling a little more steady than she had when she'd gotten in the car.
"Alright, Ames," Sideswipe announced. "This is it."
Amy took a deep breath as he opened the door for her and climbed out. She took a moment to survey the area. They'd brought her to what looked like an old fishing wharf on the side of the island farthest from the actual military base. It had long since been abandoned, however. A rickety looking wooden pier stretched out into the ocean looking as though it could be swept away by the waves at any moment. There was also a boat house, a structure where boats could be dry docked, stored, or repaired. It, too, looked as if it had been out of use for some time but certainly looked to be in better condition than the wharf itself.
Sunstreaker was already transformed and waiting so, with more confidence than she felt, Amy started in his direction. She could hear Sideswipe transforming behind her and the the sound of his wheels crunching over the ground as he followed her. For all their encouragement and reassurance, she still felt like she was marching towards her own death.
She asked, "What's this place?"
"Someplace we come when we get tired of being caged up with everyone else and need some space," Sunstreaker answered.
"I see," Amy answered, a frown tugging down the corners of her mouth. "I sure it's hard for you guys being stuck here, especially confined to this tiny island. It must get old having our government always telling you what you can do, where you can go...who you can talk to."
"It's definitely not what we signed up for," Sunny agreed. "But, it's not as bad as it used to be. Having decent company helps. Come on," He jerked his head toward the boat house, "Let's go inside."
Amy, not knowing what else to do, followed the mech obediently.
"Ladies first," Sideswipe graciously ushered her in with a bow and sweep of his arm once his brother had lifted the overhead door.
"Thanks," she gave a tight smile and stepped into the building. It was pretty obvious to her the moment that she entered that the mechs had, in fact, been here before. Things looked as though they'd been rearranged and modified to suit their stature. She had to admire their ingenuity but couldn't lose sight of why they'd asked her here. Someone had to bite the bullet. "So," she asked, "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Maybe..." Sides looked to his brother. "Maybe we should sit down?"
Sunstreaker nodded, "Yeah, this way."
Sunny led them further back into the building. It was actually quite spacious and a shame it had drifted into disrepair. In the very back corner of the space was an area where the twins had obviously thrown together whatever they could find and had managed to jury-rig some mech-sized furniture. There was even what almost looked like a gigantic hammock that seemed to have been fashioned out of fishing net and canvas tarp. It was cozy, really, but Amy didn't have much of an opportunity to examine the engineering marvel before Sideswipe took it upon himself to help her up onto a pontoon bench they'd managed to procure from somewhere.
Sideswipe fussed over the woman for a moment, trying to make her comfortable. "Good, Ames?"
"Yeah, this is fine. Thanks." Nervously, Amy nodded and waited for the mechs to settle themselves as well.
"Amy..."
It was Sunstreaker addressing her. Her head swiveled in his direction. It felt strange having the mech call her by her name but it certainly grabbed her attention. She was quiet while he took a moment to gather his thoughts.
Sunny asked, "Remember how we said we had a 'connection' to each other?"
Amy nodded, "Yes..."
"Well," he continued, "The other day when you fainted, Ratchet did a scan on you...just to make sure you were alright. He was able to confirm what Sides and I told you."
"That's why he was creeping on you, Ames." Sides interjected, "Somehow the three of us did manage to exchange some spark energy and he was concerned about what that might do to you."
"What it might do to me?" Amy's eyes widened in concern. "What? Is it like radiation or something?"
"No, nothing like that." Sunny tried to quell her concern. "He checked you over thoroughly and gave you a clean bill of health. He does think, however, that given the fact something like this has never happened before that you need to be monitored closely, just in case. Sides and I happen to agree with him."
"We just want to make sure you're okay." Sideswipe added, "We wouldn't be able to live with ourselves if we unintentionally hurt you."
"I, uh, okay." Amy nodded. She supposed that made sense. She didn't want to be hurt either, if she could help it. It actually kind of warmed her that they seemed so genuinely concerned. "So, what am I supposed to do?"
"Just, check in with Ratchet periodically and let him look you over," Sunstreaker encouraged.
Sideswipe nodded, "He can be a sarcastic pain in the aft but he's an excellent doctor. We'd feel a whole lot better if he was keeping an optic on you, sweet spark."
"Okay," Amy conceded. "I-I guess I can do that."
Sideswipe vented in relief, "Thank you, Ames..."
"Also," Sunstreaker pressed on, "We weren't exactly honest with you about the significance of the connection, itself."
Amy's brows furrowed, "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"
"In our culture," the mech carefully began, "The exchanging of spark energy has very significant meaning." Sunstreaker looked at the woman sincerely, "It's done as a sign of commitment and devotion between lovers who've decided to spend their lives together."
Amy felt nearly every single thought she had fly out of her head at that moment. The blood drained from her face, the single word still rattling around in her brain managed to find its way to her lips. "Lovers?"
"You have to understand, Ames," Sideswipe looked pained as he spoke. "This is all new to us, too. We've never experienced anything like this before. We didn't want to mislead you but we didn't want to scare you off either. We wanted to wait and let nature takes its course but..."
"This is a small base," Sunstreaker completed. "Once Ratchet found out, word spread fast. Optimus advised the rest of the team to keep it to themselves but mechs like to talk. We wanted you to hear it from us before one of them came along and shot off their fragging mouth."
"S-so..." Amy blinked owlishly, the look on her face stuck somewhere between disbelief and mortification. If what he was saying was true, she couldn't even imagine what everyone else must think, how it must look to them. She didn't even want to think about the logistics of such an arrangement for fear of truly breaking her brain. "E-everyone knows? They think the three of us are...?
"All those slaggers know is that we share a connection." Sunstreaker growled, "The rest is none of their fragging business."
"Can..." Amy swallowed hard. "Can we fix this?"
Sideswipe shook his head, "It isn't broken, Ames. There's nothing to fix. At least as far as we're concerned."
"But, you...you're..." She couldn't even formulate a coherent argument for the case she wanted to make. Something was definitely broken here and it was her. If they knew they certainly wouldn't sound so complacent about the whole ordeal. She buried her face in her hands.
"Look at me," Sunstreaker hooked his finger under the woman's chin, turning her head to face him. "I told you, it's not the end of the world. It's going to be fine."
"No," she insisted, "It isn't."
"Ames...sparklet," Sideswipe moved to kneel in front of her. "We're sorry we didn't tell you sooner. We understand if you're upset. If you want to yell at us, scream, throw things...feel free. Pit, you can even smack us around a little if it'll make you feel better. We can take a hit." He tried to inject some levity, "Sunny might even like it..."
Amy remained quiet for a long moment. It was a lot to take in. She wasn't so much disturbed by the fact that they'd just told her that the kind of burgeoning bond they shared with one another was of the sort shared in intimate partnerships or even the fact that there were two of them and only one of her, rather, she felt incredibly guilty. Here were two beings, arguably much older and wiser than herself, who'd traveled the stars engaged in war that had been going on since God knew when. They'd experienced things her simple human mind couldn't even dream up and what did they get for all their troubles? Now they were stuck on Earth and, apparently, stuck with her...a woman whose own parents had thrown her away like garbage, who was never good enough to keep, and who'd seemingly come along screwed up their entire lives with a simple touch. She was the last thing they needed right now and she felt lower than dirt at that moment.
"Ames," Sideswipe had gently taken her small hands into his own. "Please, say something, sweet spark."
Amy shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "I...I am so, so sorry..."
"What?" Sideswipe, concerned, gave her hands a careful squeeze. "About what, sparklet?"
"Now," she sniffled, "Now I understand why Sunstreaker was so upset with me that day..."
"Ames, no..." Sideswipe shook his head, tossing a worried glance at his brother. "Sunny?"
"Hey," Sunstreaker was by the woman's side in an instant. "I wasn't upset with you. I was upset with me. You just...kind of caught me off guard, that's all."
"No," Amy wiped her eyes and shook her head. "You were right. I'm pretty much useless and I'm sure this situation isn't scoring you any brownie points with your team. I don't want you two to feel like you have some kind of obligation to me just because I happened to come along and get shocked. If this is some kind of honor code thing you guys have going on, you don't have to bother for my sake. You can let it go and go on about your lives. It won't hurt my feelings."
"You're misunderstanding, Ames," Sides stated. "There's no 'letting it go'. This...this thing we share, this is the kind of thing other people only dream of experiencing. It's incredibly special to us and so are you. This is by far the most amazing thing that's ever happened to the two of us and we don't have any intention of blowing it off. We got off to a bumpy start but, we want to give this a try, sweet spark...if you're willing to give us a chance."
"It's not about obligations. We're here because we want to be and frankly, I don't give a flying frag what anyone else has to say. They can blow it out their aft port for all I care." Sunstreaker tried to put things into a clearer perspective that the woman could understand. "The three of us, we're like...we're kind of like a family now. The rest is just details."
"Family?" The word caught Amy's attention. She blinked up at the yellow mech, curious.
"Yeah," the mech nodded. "A little unorthodox by both our species standards but," Sunny shrugged, "What family isn't a little glitched?"
"You don't even know me," Amy shook her head. "Not really. That doesn't bother either of you?"
"We want to know you, Ames." Sideswipe insisted. "We want to know everything about you but we already know the best part and that's in here." He released one of her hands to tap her on the chest with a finger. He took the hand he still held and pressed it against his own chest plates, holding it there. "We want you to know us, too."
Amy swallowed, her throat choked with emotion, "But..."
"There is no but." Sunstreaker followed is brother's example and took the hand he wasn't holding and brought it up to his own chest plates and rested it there. "We're not going anywhere. You're pretty much stuck with us now."
Amy let out a ragged breath. She didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry. She couldn't even begin to sort out how she felt at that moment. On one hand she still felt as if she'd somehow fouled up their lives simply by the virtue of her existence. On the other hand, she almost wanted to believe that there was some truth to their words. Not that she doubted their sincerity, she just had a difficult time reconciling those types of feelings being directed toward herself in any capacity. They felt foreign to her and she wasn't quite sure what to do with them yet. She hadn't even had time to properly analyze her own feelings recently.
What she was aware of, though, was the gentle pulse/buzz hiding behind the mechs' chest plates beneath her fingertips. It wasn't like placing your hand over someone's heart and feeling it beat. This was more...intimate. It was almost like reaching out and touching someone's soul, she thought. The subtle resonance seemed to travel through her, all the way to her own center and settle there in a warm, comforting mass as it synchronized itself with her own energy. It was as if a circuit had finally been completed and the relief it brought was nothing short of incredible.
Amy felt like she could breathe again. She didn't remember closing her eyes until she was opening them again. She looked up at the twins, certain the looks of serene wonder they wore was similar to her own. She gently pulled her hands away from them, placing them instead over her own heart. She focused on the beating beneath her palms for a moment before allowing her hands to drop back into her lap. She must have been crazy for even wanting to consider anything like this.
"Ames?"
She'd been silent for too long. She could hear the worry in Sideswipe's voice. "I'm okay," she assured in a whisper. "Just...thinking."
"What's that expression you humans have?" He cracked a nervous smile, "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Just," Amy took a deep breath and blew it out, "What now?"
"Whatever you want," Sunstreaker answered. "Whatever you're comfortable with. We didn't lay this all on you to pressure you into something you aren't interested in. We just wanted you to know the truth. Wherever you want to take this is alright with us. All we ask is that you don't shut us out completely."
"Give things a chance to work," Sides nearly pleaded.
Amy licked her lips, her mouth dry. "I-I think I need some time to...to absorb this."
"Of course," Sideswipe nodded, "We understand."
"Take all the time you need," Sunstreaker reached out and gently tousled her hair. "We'll be here."
End of Chapter 25
