Finding Home
Chapter 26
By Voodoo Queen
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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! It's another beautiful day and I hope you're having a great one! So, yes, the cat is finally out of the bag. What happens now? I guess we'll see . And YES, I do listen to your suggestions and I love them all! Have patience :) Thank you so much to everyone who has added this story to your follows and favorites. I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story so far. Extra special love to my wonderful reviewers: YaoiPrincess12, LaurenA007, Stranno Roza, KayleeChiara, Annie, The Rabbit Lord, adelphe24, Tonythecool, sakurawriter, iGleep, jojoniles, 0Colossal Cupcake0, Watto not, MysticFire101, ElleGirl19, Pixiekatt.
Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, just my own original characters and plot.
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As had become custom since arriving at Diego Garcia, sleep had once more eluded Amy. She'd actually begun to wonder if she would ever have a decent full night's rest ever again. Every night it seemed more and more unlikely. It took every ounce of gumption she had that morning to even keep up professional appearances. She'd spent all night tossing and turning in her bunk, restless and agitated, her conversation with the twins bouncing around inside of her addled brain. She wasn't exactly sure where she stood on the subject of their implied relationship. She'd felt almost manic-depressive over it at first, alternating between a high, giddy euphoria and a deep, bottomless guilt. Now, however, she mostly felt numb and uncertain of what to do with herself.
Instead of going straight to work, she'd instead decided to get up a little earlier than normal and pay Ratchet a visit in the med bay. It wasn't like she was sleeping, anyway. She may not have been quite ready to face Sideswipe and Sunstreaker but a promise was a promise and she intended to keep her's. She'd let the CMO examine, scan, or whatever he needed to do to her. She hoped it would put her mind at ease to know that, at least physically, things were okay. Perhaps, she reasoned, the good doctor may even be able to provide some impartial third-party insight into what the hell she was supposed to do now because, frankly, she was at a loss.
She'd never been a particularly paranoid person, that she would admit anyway, but armed with newfound knowledge of her personal situation she couldn't help but feel that people were staring at her as she made her way across the base. Knowing that the bots had been instructed to keep things under wraps didn't do much to make her feel any better. She kept her head down, not making eye contact with anyone unless absolutely necessary. It wasn't that she was ashamed, but the thought that her personal life...one she'd just discovered she even had...was being used as gossip fodder among aliens of all people made her uncomfortable. Making it even worse was the fact that she hadn't done anything intentional to be placed under such scrutiny. She'd simply stumbled blindly into a situation that she was only just beginning to grasp the particulars of.
She gave a sigh of relief when she finally made it to the hangar that housed the med bay. Of course, her arrival brought with it a whole other level of disconcertion. She stepped just inside the hangar doors and took a cautious look around. It was the usual suspects. A gaggle of high ranking military and government representatives were headed into Prime's office for a meeting. Prowl was off to the side, seemingly engaged in yet another 'discussion' with Advisor Galloway. Ironhide was posted up in his usual spot, habitually disassembling and reassembling his cannons. No one was paying an ounce of attention in her direction, thank goodness.
She made a break for it.
Head down, eyes focused on the floor in front of her, she moved quickly and quietly across the hangar. It wasn't a monumental distance to traverse but it may as well have been miles as far as she was concerned. She tried to cover the space as fast as she could before anyone took note of her presence. She wasn't fast enough.
"Buongiorno, bella signora."
Amy froze. Looking up she found Mirage standing before her, a curiously sympathetic look on his face. "Uh," she stammered, "Good morning, Dino."
"I am most sorry." The mech sighed, "I've heard of your troubles, bella."
Amy frowned, "My...my troubles?"
"Sì," Mirage nodded. "With the twins."
"Ah," Amy felt color flood her face. "I-I wouldn't exactly call it trouble..."
"Oh, cara..." The mech knelt and laid a compassionate hand on her shoulder. "It is an unfortunate situation, no?"
"Well," Amy stammered. "I mean, it...it isn't..."
"I understand, carina." Mirage gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I am here if you need me."
"Uh," Not knowing what else to do, she patted the mech's hand. "Th-thanks. I'm...I'm sure I'll be fine." Amy fidgeted uncomfortably. "I...appreciate the offer."
"My pleasure." Mirage vented and stood back up. He looked at her sadly once more before heading off to his daily duties.
Amy stood there for a moment, utterly weirded out by the whole exchange. As if it wasn't bad enough, the prickly sensation of being watched washed over her. Though the last thing she wanted to do was look, she turned her head to find Ironhide staring at her from across the hangar. The mech wore a look of morbid curiosity. When he noticed her gazing back, however, he snorted in derision and went back to working on his cannons.
Amy quickly hurried the rest of the way to the med bay.
Poking her head inside the room, she saw that Ratchet was still busy readying himself for the day ahead. He was humming or buzzing or something while he worked and looked content. Amy hated to interrupt him but she wasn't willing to venture back through the hangar just yet.
Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat. "Good morning, Ratchet."
The mech stopped what he was doing and turned toward the voice. "Miss Doe," he greeted. "A good morning to you. I'm afraid I haven't seen Jazz or the twins yet this morning."
"Oh, no." Amy shook her head. "I, uh, I kind of promised Sideswipe and Sunstreaker that I'd let you take a look at me so..." She shrugged. "Here I am. If you're busy, though, I can come another time."
"Nonsense!" Ratchet waved the woman inside. "Please, come in. Close the door behind you."
Amy did as he asked and pulled the door shut before trudging over in his direction. When the mech bent to offer his hand, she hesitated a moment before reluctantly allowing him to lift her from the ground. He was gentle, though, carefully placing her atop the medical berth before stepping back and taking a careful look at her.
Ratchet surveyed the woman with a raised brow plate. "Am I correct in assuming that they've sat you down for a little talk?"
Amy nodded, "Yeah..."
Ratchet asked, "And they explained to you the significance of what's transpired?"
"They did," Amy swallowed the lump that was trying to form in her throat. "They said this type of thing only happens between people who are, um..."
Ratchet supplied, "Intimate?"
"Yes," Amy breathed a sigh of relief. "Intimate."
"Indeed," Ratchet agreed. "I'm sure this must all be difficult for you to digest. It is a very peculiar scenario to be sure. Relationships by nature are complicated. Relationships with twins even more so given their unique set of circumstances. I'm sure as a human it's a very unnerving predicament to find yourself in."
Amy chuckled, "You can say that again."
"Still," Ratchet continued, "You must have some opinion on the matter."
"I don't know." Amy shrugged, "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I'm kind of...I don't even know..."
"I've noticed humans tend to have an aversion to things outside of what they feel is normal." He carefully asked, "You do realize this is a permanent state of being...for the twins, at least? You aren't disgusted by the idea?"
"I understand but, no," Amy vehemently denied. "I'm not disgusted. I'm very much concerned, but definitely not disgusted. I just..." She shook her head trying to put her thoughts into words. "It doesn't seem fair, you know? To them, I mean. They come halfway across the universe to help fight a war and end up stuck with me. I'm nobody. I'm completely insignificant. If I were them I'd be fighting this tooth and nail. But they're so...accepting. Like this is all just completely normal. I feel like they're being slighted. Even if I wanted to proceed with this...relationship...how is this supposed to work? How is any of this supposed to work?"
"Mmm," Ratchet nodded as he turned to search through a set of drawers. "I'm sure the twins would disagree with you greatly regarding your significance. As far as normalcy, I will say that nothing feels as right for one of our kind than being in sync with someone you care about. That said, a blind mech could see their fondness for you. I doubt they feel slighted in the least. If anything, I'd say they're probably worried about you finding them inadequate. Now where did I put that tablet?"
Amy bit her lip, mulling over the mech's words. She'd certainly had the thought a time to two since learning the truth about the relationship she and the twins shared that there was no way that she could ever live up to their expectations...whatever those may be. She'd never really considered that they may share that very same insecurity. It was definitely something to think about.
Ratchet switched to another cabinet to search there instead. He continued speaking, "You certainly have a valid worry, though. Believe it or not, our species aren't as different as you would believe. Mechs possess an apparatus similar in form and function to the male human organ. Femmes have a reciprocal receiving valve not terribly dissimilar to female anatomy. Though, it isn't terribly uncommon for a bot to possess both. Those that do typically prefer using one over the other. Reproductive interfacing is a bit more involved, otherwise, the mechanics aren't all that different to what you're used to. Our physiology does allow for some, ahem, adjustment to accommodate a partner given our diversity in terms of size. Most, however, seem to prefer a partner closer to their own stature and build. It makes for a much more comfortable and enjoyable experience for all parties involved. In this case, I'd say size and durability are paramount safety concerns. The twins, though, are nothing if not inventive and I'd bet their ingenuity carries over but don't worry, I've already warned them against getting too adventurous without clearing it with myself first..."
Amy, wide eyed, stared at the mech, a look of horrified fascination plastered on her face. How the hell did they get here? Sure, she'd assumed Cybertronians had some sort of analogue. After all, Sunstreaker had specified that the type of relationship she shared with he and his brother typically ran the gamut between "lovers". She didn't think there was any other way to interpret that meaning but she certainly hadn't been expecting a biology lesson and an explanation of robot sexuality when she'd woke up this morning. Now that the idea had been planted in her imagination, she found that she couldn't dig it back out. Her brain felt like it was turning into mush.
"Ah," Ratchet turned back and, taking in the woman's bewildered countenance, chuckled. "Apologies. I'm guessing that isn't exactly what you were referring to." He cleared his vocal processor and handed her the tablet he'd finally found, quickly changing the subject. "Here, I'd like you to fill this out. It's a standard medical history form. I've updated it to reflect the differences in our species. It will help us determine a medical baseline and then we'll go from there, alright?"
Amy nodded, thankful to have something else to focus on, and eagerly accepted the tablet from the mech. "Sure. No problem."
"I'll leave you to it, then." The CMO smiled at the woman. "Just give me a shout when you're done or if you have any questions. I'll be right over there restocking supplies."
"Okay," Amy nodded again and watched as the medic retreated back to the other side of the room to give her some privacy. Then, taking a deep breath, she focused on the task at hand and tried to push everything else out of her mind.
It was a pretty standard medical history form, really. She quickly filled in her demographic information: name, age, date of birth. Did she have any allergies? No, not that she was aware of. Did she take any medications? Just an occasional Tylenol. Thankfully, she was relatively healthy and had no problems breezing through a list of symptoms, mostly checking 'no' along the way but giving a great big 'hell, yes' to insomnia. No, she didn't smoke. No, she didn't drink. No, she didn't use drugs. Any history of surgeries or hospitalizations and their corresponding reason? She paused for a moment at that question. Just how far back did Ratchet want her to go? Biting her lip, she quickly scribbled down her answer and moved on. Family medical history? She paused again before quickly jotting 'unknown'. Sexual history? After what she'd just been subjected to she barely restrained the impulse to laugh maniacally. She bit her tongue and soldiered on through the rest of the form.
"All done," Amy announced after a few more minutes.
"Very good." Ratchet came back and collected the tablet, reading over her answers carefully. "Hmm," he looked down at her. "You were hospitalized as an infant?"
"Yes," Amy shifted uncomfortably. "For about the first six months of my life. Half of that time on a ventilator. I was extremely premature. No longterm physical problems, though. I was lucky, I guess."
"I see," He rumbled in concern but kept skimming down the page, pausing again. "You're unaware of your familial medical history?"
Amy shook her head giving the mech an uneasy look and shook her head in the negative.
"No worries," the CMO smiled at the woman hoping to put her back at ease. "We'll work with what we have. Now," he clapped his hands together, "Let's take a look at you and see if we can't figure out what's happening."
Amy blew out a lungful of air she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. "Yeah, okay. Sounds like a plan."
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As Amy made her way out to the med bay nearly an hour later, she felt somewhat better. Though her meeting with Ratchet had certainly had mortifying moments, it hadn't been nearly as scary as she thought it would be. Though he hadn't been able to offer any concrete explanation as to how she'd ended up in her situation, he had assured her that she was healthy and that the twins' spark energy which had decided to take up residence in her body didn't seem to be causing her any harm. At least for the time being. He wanted to see her once a week and she'd agreed. Everything had to be kept hush hush, however, since Ratchet wasn't technically supposed to be practicing medicine on human patients. As if she would tell anyone.
She took a brief look around the hangar before making a run for it. She didn't see either Mirage or Ironhide, which was a huge relief. Prime's office door was shut and she assumed he was still in a meeting. The poor mech couldn't seem to catch a break. It seemed he was always tied up in meetings. The door to Prowl's office was open and Advisor Galloway seemed to have crawled back under his rock for the time being. She'd sent a text to Jazz, letting him know where she was and he had advised her to take her time. She appreciated it but knew the mech would have questions of his own once she arrived to her station. With that thought in her mind, she strode toward the exit in preparation to get her day started.
"Petty Officer Doe."
Amy stopped in her tracks, her hopes for a quick getaway seemingly dashed. She did a smooth left face to find Prowl striding out of his office towards her, his door wings held high. It was impossible to discern what he may have wanted just by looking at him. She bet he was a great poker player. She smiled politely as he approached, "Good morning, Prowl."
"That remains to be seen," the mech vented, "May I have a word?"
Amy's heart gave a nervous knock but she nodded, "Of course."
"I won't keep you long," the SIC assured and got right down to business. "You may or may not be aware that Advisor Galloway has recently had some of his property go missing from the briefing room."
"Yeah," Amy nodded but felt a cold lump of apprehension forming in her gut. She already wasn't liking where this conversation was headed and it had just started. "He's been ranting and raving about that to just about anyone that will listen."
"Indeed," the mech's optic twitched and he shook his head. Clearing his vocal processor, he continued. "At his continuing insistence, I've been tasked with trying to locate said equipment. You may also be aware that I have a strong suspicion that the twins may be responsible given that you were present when Ironhide and I searched their quarters."
Amy swallowed hard, suddenly thankful that she wasn't one to break out in a cold sweat when she got nervous. "I did overhear something about a contraband inspection. I, uh," she gave a nervous chuckle. "I wasn't exactly in the best position to see what all was going on."
"True," Prowl agreed, "But you are close to Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, yes?"
Amy did flush then. She wasn't sure what Prowl was insinuating or if he was insinuating anything at all but her mind immediately flew to the 'intimate' connection they apparently shared. She wasn't sure if she should be embarrassed or offended. She decided to play dense instead. She shook her head, "I'm sorry, I'm not sure exactly what it is you're asking."
"Given the status of your relationship with the two of them," Prowl pressed, "If anyone knows what they're up to it would be you. As part of a trine, I'm sure you're made privy to their comings and goings."
A feeling of uneasy realization washed over her then. It seemed to her as if the SIC was fishing for incriminating information. "Trine?" She shook her head. "I mean, we talk sometimes but I'm not their babysitter or anything like that."
"Of course you're not," Prowl agreed. "But, they haven't mentioned anything to you about acquiring projection equipment? Perhaps you may have even seen them in possession of the items in question?" Prowl clarified, "I'm certainly not accusing you of any wrongdoing or misconduct. I've been dealing with the two of them plenty long enough to know how they operate. However, if you do know something, it would be in the best interest of all involved if you share any information that you do have. I can promise you that anything you have to say will be kept confidential and that you will not be reprimanded."
Amy frowned. Prowl was definitely trying to get her to roll on them and confirm his suspicions. What kind of a friend, companion...whatever she was supposed to be to them...did he think she was? A spark of anger flared to life in her. She hadn't a clue where it had come from but it came coupled with a strong need to protect her mechs from whatever punishment Prowl was set on doling out. That thought alone would have probably floored her if she hadn't been so ruffled. She did what she felt like she had to do at that moment. She lied her ass off for them.
"Prowl," Amy started in a regretful tone, "I'm really sorry Advisor Galloway's property is gone and that he keeps hassling you about it. I really wish I could be more helpful but," she shook her head, "I don't know anything about any projection equipment. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker haven't mentioned anything to me and the couple times that I've actually been in their quarters I haven't seen anything out of place."
Prowl studied the woman intently, "I see."
"Maybe someone else took it." She reasoned, "There's a lot of humans on this base with access to that space. Have you searched through their things?"
"No," Prowl denied. "Given the circumstances surrounding the theft, its highly unlikely a human was involved."
"Well, you might want to consider it. We can be pretty resourceful if we really want something. Just saying...but, if I do see or hear anything," Amy promised, "You'll be the first person I come to."
Prowl's door wings seemed to droop slightly. "That would be...much appreciated."
She shot the mech a sympathetic smile, "I hope you find what you're looking for."
"As do I." The SIC straightened. "Thank you for your time and assistance in this matter, OS2. I'll let you get back to your duties. Have a pleasant day."
"You, too." Amy watched as the mech spun on his heel and strode back across the hangar. It wasn't until he had disappeared back into his office that she breathed a sigh of relief.
It hit her then what she'd just done. She'd outright lied to a superior. Not just any superior, she reminded herself. She'd lied to the Second in Command of an extraterrestrial faction. Why? She abhorred dishonestly...and stealing. She wouldn't hesitate for a moment to point out something she felt was wrong or unfair. She prided herself on her honestly and integrity. When her twins were involved, though...that was different a different story.
Her twins?
Amy's breath caught in her throat. When had she started thinking of them as belonging to her? Had she unconsciously staked some sort of claim on them? Was it all part of this odd connection they shared? Did it matter if it was? Feelings were feelings, weren't they? Her's were a confused mess right now but she was certain that she did care for the two of them. She missed them when they weren't around. They always seemed to be on her mind in some fashion or another. She worried about them even though they seemed to have a penchant for causing her undo stress. She looked forward to seeing them and, she admitted with a flush of embarrassment, their meetings always seemed to be accompanied by an excited fluttering of butterflies in her stomach. Everything else aside, that had to count for something, right?
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Sideswipe sat on the edge of his berth, a forlorn look on his faceplates. His morning cube of energon sat forgotten next to him. He vented, "You don't think we should check on her? At least just to see if she's okay? We could call her. I got her number from Jazz. I mean, it's a major bomb we dropped on her. She probably has all kinds of questions and-"
"Sides," Sunstreaker turned to look at his twin. "Give it a rest, will you?"
Sideswipe looked offended, "Oh, like you aren't worried about her, too!"
"Of course I am!" The mech threw down the cloth he'd been using to polish his armor and stood, stabbing a finger in his brother's direction. "You keep forgetting she isn't one of us. You can't expect her to just take this for what it is like another Cybertronian would. She needs time to process. So do we, for that matter. I don't know about you, but I don't know the first thing about taking care of a human other than you have to feed them and they drool in their sleep."
"That's why we need to get together," Sides insisted. "To work out the details."
"We don't know if she's even interested in working out any details," Sunstreaker snapped.
"Sunny-" Whatever Sideswipe had been thinking of saying was cut off by a sudden frenetic rapping on their door.
"What now?" Sunstreaker muttered as he stalked to the door and wrenched it open only to find himself face-to-face with...nothing. A small sound caught his attention, however, and he looked down to find the wide-eyed woman he and his brother had just been arguing over looking up at him with something akin to awe. He felt his spark give a sudden twist. "Squishie?"
"Sunstreaker," the woman breathed. "I know it's early but can I come in?"
"Yeah," the mech nodded, immediately stepping aside. "Of course you can."
"Thank you," Amy stepped inside, her eyes sweeping over the room and landing on Sideswipe with the same look of astonishment. "Hey..."
"Ames!" The silver twin was up in a flash. He took in her slightly rattled appearance, offering her a hand up onto the berth which she gratefully accepted. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah..." She waived off his concern, and settled herself. "I just...I wanted to let you guys know that I went to see Ratchet this morning like I said I would."
"You did?" A concerned frown tugged at Sunstreaker's mouth as he came to sit on the berth next to the pair. "What did he say?"
"He, uh," Amy's mouth suddenly went dry and heat flooded her face. She suddenly couldn't look the pair in the eye/optic. She focused on her own lap instead. "He said a lot of things...but mainly that I'm fine. He wants to see me once a week, though."
Sideswipe let out a relieved sigh, "That's a relief."
"It is," Sunstreaker agreed. "But it doesn't explain why you look wound up so tight this morning. Did something else happen?"
"Yeah," Amy hesitantly confirmed. "As I was leaving, Prowl stopped me..."
"Really?" Sunny grimaced, "What did that stick-up-the-aft want?"
Amy looked up at the mech. "I guess Galloway is still hounding him about his missing projector. He was asking me questions and saying that how since the three of us have this spark thing that I would know what you guys are up to. He wanted me to say that you two took it."
"That fragger," Sunstreaker growled, a hard expression settling over his features. "If he thinks he's going to be using you like some kind of leverage against us he's got another thing coming. Don't worry, I'll put a stop to that real fast."
Sideswipe curiously asked, "What did you tell him?"
"I lied," Amy pressed the palms of her hands to her burning cheeks and shook her head. "I looked him straight in the face and I lied to him. I've never lied to anyone like that before, not intentionally anyway. I feel awful..."
"Ames," Sides ran a gentle hand down the woman's back. "You didn't have to lie on our account..."
"Yes, I did!" Amy insisted, "The whole time he was speaking to me the only thing I could think about was keeping you two out of the brig. I wasn't going to turn you in. I couldn't. No way."
"It's our fault," Sunstreaker admitted. "We're sorry, Squishie. We shouldn't have put you in that kind of a position."
Amy took a deep breath, "Its not just the lying, or the stealing, for that matter. That...it has to stop. I don't...I can't be involved in that."
"We understand. You're an honest femme. You shouldn't have to worry about being interrogated over something you had no part in. " Sunstreaker shot his brother a hard look. "We'll do better. We'll even give Galloway's stuff back if you want us to."
Sideswipe looked disappointed but agreed, "Absolutely, if it will make you feel better."
"It would," Amy managed a smile. "Thank you. I mean it."
Sides winked at her, "Whatever you want."
"You still look like you have something heavy on your mind," Sunstreaker observed.
"Yes," Amy shakily agreed. "I guess I do. The actual reason I came here...I think I had sort of an epiphany."
Sunstreaker raised a curious brow, "About?"
Amy took a steadying breath, "I don't know if it's this spark connection thing or what but somewhere in between getting way more information than I bargained for from Ratchet and perjuring myself to keep you guys out of trouble, I realized something. I realized that I do care about the two of you...more than I even knew I did. You two were forthcoming with me so I...I figured I owed you the same courtesy. So, yeah...I just wanted you to know that."
"Ames," Sideswipe gave a sigh of relief. "That's...that's the best thing we've heard in a long time. Does...does that mean that you're willing to give this a try?"
"It means..." Amy shrugged, "I don't know what it means. I have no idea what I'm doing."
"Well," Sunstreaker commented, "If it makes you feel any better, we don't know what we're doing either."
"Not a clue," Sides confirmed. "But,"he nudged her, "We're willing to learn if you are."
Sunny chimed in. "How about this? Let's just forget this whole energy exchange thing happened. We can go on like we have been just being friendly, spending time together, and getting to know one another better. From there whatever happens, we let it happen. No pressure."
Amy thought she may have been crazy for even considering something like this. Surely there were a million and one reasons this was a terrible idea and a million and one more ways that this could end horribly. The warm buzz in her chest seemed to expand and contract with each beat of her heart, encouraging her to make a decision. The truth of the matter was, regardless of whether she wanted to admit it or not, she couldn't stray too far from them even if she wanted to. She wasn't sure she wanted to. More so, she didn't think she could. Though she definitely had her doubts, there was only one course of action she knew to take.
"I," Amy licked her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. She took a calming breath and tried again, "I...I'd like that."
End of Chapter 26
