Finding Home

Chapter 29

By Voodoo Queen

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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! Thank you so much for all your support, faves, and follows! A little fluffiness to start out this chapter. Why? Because we're worth it. Do we really need a reason? I'm not so sure how these few days are going to go for Amy since there's really no precedent so I think she needs a little TLC to kick things off. I'm sure she'd appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts you can muster. Thank you to all of my awesome reviewers who shared their opinions on the last chapter: Stickaroo, LaurenA007, YaoiPrincess12, ElleGirl19, jojoniles, HenriettaDarlington, Inkaholic4U, 'Guests', JessieBWriting, rileyraph'sgirl, Autobot-Bre-Lightblast, The Whispering Sage, DaLadyofSouls, F-22Raptor16, adelphe24, sakurawriter, t0neverland7, Tonythecool, Sweet Sprinks, Annie, Pixiekatt, BarricadesDemon216. I'm always so nervous when I post romance-y/steamy stuff. You guys are great for my anxiety and I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, just my own original characters and plot.

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Amy sighed and rolled over in her bed to lay on her back and stare blankly up at the ceiling. It was nearing two in the morning. She was tired, exhausted really, but restlessness and a profound feeling of loneliness kept her from being able to get comfortable. Not that sleep would have helped. Every time she began to doze she'd find herself in that strange, black abyss and she'd jerk herself awake again. To top it off, she'd developed a headache, a steady throb right between her eyes that a double dose of Tylenol hadn't been able to allay. That, coupled with the lonesome ache in her chest, pretty much guaranteed that she wouldn't be getting any sleep. It wasn't all bad, she reminded herself. At least she hadn't broken down and started crying yet, which she had believed was a real possibility as the day had progressed.

Absently, one of her hands wandered up to press against the side of her neck. Despite being under the covers, she shivered as she recalled those last few moments she'd had alone with the twins just before they left. Looking back on it now, it was almost surreal. If it weren't for the marks on her neck, she would almost be inclined to believe it had all been some kind of a wild dream or strange fantasy. She couldn't call the marks hickeys, not really. They weren't really bruises either. It almost looked as if the skin had pinched just hard enough to leave behind a dappling of red spots from just beneath her jaw line to the edge of her collar bone. They didn't hurt at all. It certainly hadn't hurt when Sunstreaker had been making them. She'd quite enjoyed it, actually, she admitted to herself with a blush. They were, however, very noticeable against the paleness that surrounded them and were sure to take days to fade completely. Amy suspected that had been the entire point.

She normally didn't really wear makeup, save for the occasional chapstick, but after Prowl had returned her to the barracks she'd managed to scrounge up some concealer she'd purchased for the sole purpose of hiding a blemish she'd had when it came time to take her photo for her new military ID after her last promotion. She'd been infinitely glad she hadn't tossed it out after it had served its purpose. She was able to camouflage the worst of Sunstreaker's 'gift', enough so that she was fairly certain she wouldn't draw any unwanted attention and maintain some air of professionalism. If Jazz had noticed, which she suspected he had as very little escaped the mech's astute observation skills, he'd at least been gentlemanly enough not to mention it. Even if no one else could see them, she still knew they were there. That thought had caused a shiver to work its way down her spine and she wondered at how she'd managed to get to this point.

She was a straight shooter. She wasn't a risk taker or prone to impulsiveness. She tried to think things through logically and methodically. It's how she'd survived the life she'd been dealt and it's what made her so good at her job. Logically, she knew that it shouldn't have worked between the three of them. There were two of them and only one of her...not something she'd ever been remotely interested in even in her wildest fantasies. It certainly wasn't something she'd ever dreamed she'd be an active, willing participant in. The fact that they were giant robotic creatures from another planet...real, live aliens...that was something that she couldn't rationalize or explain away so she didn't even try. She was coloring so far out of the lines that she didn't even know what the picture was supposed to look like anymore.

It should have felt awkward and uncomfortable, not to mention unnatural...but it hadn't. She'd actually surprised herself at how willing she'd been to reciprocate once they'd initiated the contact. She wasn't bold or forward by any stretch, in fact just the opposite when it came to this sort of thing, but somewhere along the line she'd come to view the pair as safe and safe was something that she'd rarely if ever felt over the course of her life until just recently. Somewhere down deep she knew they wouldn't hurt her and that she didn't have to be afraid when she was with them. A nervous wreck? Embarrassed and blushing? Maybe...probably, but she didn't have to fear them. Perhaps that was why it had been so easy to just close her eyes and lose herself in the experience.

If she concentrated hard enough, she could still conjure the feeling of Sideswipe's mouth brushing softly and tenderly against her own and the silky slide of Sunstreaker's glossa over the sensitive skin of her throat. She took a deep breath, letting it out in a shaky sigh. She was in trouble, she knew. Deep, deep trouble. She felt like she'd opened a Pandora's Box and she wasn't sure if it was possible to close it back up again. More importantly, she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted to. It was that realization that caused her the most worry. As patient and understanding as the twins seemed to be, she was at a huge disadvantage when it came to information. She didn't know how any of this worked. She had no clue what was expected of her or what she could possibly be expected to do for them in return. All she could do was stumble along and hope for the best.

The dark room was suddenly illuminated as the screen of her phone lit up from where it rested on her nightstand. As it vibrated, Amy felt her heart skip a beat. She fumbled for the cell, turning it over in her hands to look at the caller ID. She couldn't help the relieved smile that tugged at her mouth as she hit the talk button and pressed the device to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sweet spark!" Sideswipe's voice filled the darkness. "Sorry it's so late. We were going to leave you a voicemail. What are you still doing up? We didn't wake you, did we?"

Amy's smile widened at his concern. God, she missed them already. "No, you didn't wake me. I'm in bed but I can't sleep."

Sunstreaker's voice rumbled over the connection, "Everything ok?"

"Oh, yeah," Amy assured. "Everything's fine. I just...I just haven't really been able to sleep much since I've been here, that's all. This is pretty normal for me."

Sunny snorted, "Could've had us fooled, Squishie."

"Seriously, Ames," Sideswipe chuckled, "The couple times you bunked with us you were practically comatose. We probably could have picked you up and used you as a ball to play catch with and you wouldn't have noticed."

Amy mulled that bit of info over for a moment and realized with a start that what he said was true. The most peaceful, restful sleep she'd gotten since coming to the island...maybe in her entire life...had been with the two of them. She wasn't sure if that was significant or not, had anything to do with the energy they'd swapped, or if she should be truly concerned. "I-I guess I must have been really tired those times."

"Yeah, maybe..." Sides sounded less than convinced.

"Does Ratchet know you're not sleeping?" Sunstreaker asked with an edge of concern to his voice.

"Uh, no," Amy admitted. "It's been going on so long now, I didn't think it was important. I mean, he gave me a medical questionnaire to fill out and I wrote it down but we didn't discuss it in any detail. There were other things he was more worried about at the time. The doctor over at medical knows, though. He said it was stress and the change of scenery."

"Still, better safe than sorry, sparklet," Sides advised. "Next time you bump into Hatchet, make sure mention it to him. He might be able to help."

"Okay," Amy sighed in agreement. She'd promised them she'd see Ratchet anyway. There was no harm in telling him again. "I will."

"We need you to be well rested," the mech added in a flirtatious tone. "If he can't fix it, you know you're always welcome to sleep with us. We're happy to tuck you in."

Amy felt herself blush. "That's, uh, generous of you to offer."

"We're very generous mechs," Sideswipe practically purred. "We aim to please."

"I'm...I'm sure you do..." Amy squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed hard. "So, uh...where are you guys? I know you can't be in Kentucky this soon. I wasn't expecting a call until sometime in the morning at the earliest."

Sunny chuckled, "We had a stopover. They had to drop off cargo or some slag. We're currently sitting in an aircraft hangar at RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk, England. They won't let us go outside because of security concerns or something like that so we're going to be stuck in here all night listening to Ironhide complain while he cleans his fragging cannons for the billionth time."

"Nice." Amy laughed, "That sounds like a blast."

Sunstreaker vented, "You have no idea, Squishie. I'm dying of boredom in here. We're supposed to be on the first flight out at 0530 which can't come soon enough."

Amy bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud at the mech's petulant tone, "I'm so sorry..."

Sunstreaker vented heavily, "You and me both."

"Before I forget," Sides lightheartedly interjected. "Bumblebee says hi."

"Oh," Amy smiled. "Well, tell him hi from me."

Sideswipe chuckled, "Will do. He'll be ecstatic. Youngling has been driving us crazy asking questions."

Amy frowned, "About what?"

"You, mostly," the silver mech informed. "How this whole relationship came to be."

"Oh..." Hesitantly, she asked, "What...what did you tell him?"

"That matters of the spark are a very delicate and complicated construct that he couldn't possibly understand without experiencing it for himself," Sideswipe answered dramatically. "Or something like that."

Sunstreaker snorted, "I just told him to frag off and mind his own business."

Amy, at ease once more, laughed softly, "Well, alright then. Fair enough."

"Listen, Squishie," Sunstreaker's voice softened, "As bad as I hate to say it, it's really late and we don't want to keep you up too long. You really should try to get some rest."

"Yeah," Sideswipe agreed in a more subdued tone. "We really just wanted to call and let you know that we were thinking about you and that we missed you."

Amy felt the first prickling of tears come to her eyes. She'd managed to hold them back all day and it really made no sense to get so choked up over such a simple declaration. Amy, however, had never heard those words spoken in reference to herself before. She'd come into this world disposable, unwanted, and forgettable. She was sure they had no idea the impact such a simple sentence would have on her. She was almost glad they weren't there to see the tears that tracked down the sides of her face to soak into her pillow. What a mess she was. They really had no idea.

"Ames?" Sides questioned concernedly. "Are you still there, sweet spark?"

"Yeah," she sniffed and tried to control the tremor in her voice. "I'm still here. I-I miss you guys, too."

"How about this," Sunny offered in a quiet rumble, "you try to get some sleep and we'll leave this line open. We'll be right here with you. How does that sound?"

"That...that sounds really nice." Amy whispered gratefully, "Thank you."

"Get comfortable and close your eyes," the yellow front liner advised.

Amy pulled the phone away from her ear and put it on speaker. Instead of returning it to her nightstand, she rolled onto her side and placed it on her pillow next to her head. It may have only been a few inches difference but it made her feel closer to them. She pulled her blanket up under her chin and snuggled down as best she could into the rather firm, military issued mattress. "Okay," she tiredly muttered.

"Sleep well," Sunny murmured. "We're right here if you need us."

Sideswipe vented softly, "Goodnight, sparklet."

"Goodnight..." Amy sleepily sighed and closed her eyes.

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All too soon, Amy found herself suddenly startled awake by the sound of her alarm blaring in her ear. She groped toward her nightstand and felt around for her phone, belatedly realizing it had become wedged under her pillow at some point during the night when the alarm started screeching once again. Once she'd managed to fish it out from beneath her head and silence it, she realized that she'd actually slept pretty well. She'd fallen asleep the to the soft, intermittent sounds of the mechs' ventilations and the occasional quietly whispered word. There had been no strange dreams or restless tossing and turning. Just knowing they were there, even long distance, had been enough to lull her into a peaceful slumber.

A quick look at her call log made her heart squeeze in affection for the pair. They'd done exactly as Sunstreaker had promised. They'd stayed on the phone with her all night up until about ten minutes ago. She hated that she missed them before they disconnected. It would have been wonderful to hear their voices before she had to get up and start her day. They'd sent her a text, though, letting her know that they were preparing to leave England and were going to be bound for the US. They'd promised to call her once they arrived at their destination and reminded her again that they missed her. Amy took a deep breath and settled back against her pillow for a moment and hugged the phone to her chest.

She was in so much trouble.

She lay there for another minute or two before finally managing to convince herself to move. With a sigh, she threw her covers off and sat up. Her headache, which had eased as she slept came rushing back with a vengeance. The pounding right between her eyes was slightly disorienting and perfectly in sync with the aching throb in her chest. Gritting her teeth against the pain she fished a bottle of Tylenol out of her nightstand and shook four of the pills out into her palm. She tossed them into her mouth, swallowing them dry, before rising and starting to get ready to start her day.

Breakfast had been a pretty solemn affair. She'd walked into the mess hall, not really hungry but also not willing to go without eating something. When the scent of cooking food his her nose, however, whatever appetite she did have fled suddenly as a wave of nausea washed over her. Her stomach clenched and her mouth was flooded by saliva which she did her best to swallow down without gagging. She chalked the feeling up to the sickening headache that was pounding away behind her eyes. Still thinking optimistically that some food in her belly might help, she grabbed a bland bowl full of plain oatmeal and a glass of apple juice. It took every ounce of concentration she had to get them both down but she finally managed.

By the time she'd reached the bunker, her queasiness has been replaced by a feeling of mild vertigo and she was beginning to worry that she might be coming down with something. Once in high school, she'd developed a sinus infection which had spread to include an inner ear infection which had resulted in similar symptoms to what she was currently having. It had been an absolutely miserable week that she hoped she wouldn't have to live through again. The way she was feeling, though, she wouldn't at all be surprised. She made a mental note to swing by the small store on base to browse their pharmaceutical section. If she could just find something a little stronger than Tylenol to get rid of her headache, maybe a decongestant, she'd be a happy camper.

She'd made her way to her office in a bit of a daze. She palmed the door open expecting to have at least an hour to herself to recuperate before Jazz arrived. However, she was greeted by the sight of the First Lieutenant kicked back in his chair with the SIC perched casually on the corner of his desk. She blinked, trying to establish a bit of equilibrium before greeting the pair.

"Morning, boss," she chimed in her most upbeat tone. "You're early today. Hi, Prowl."

"Miss Doe," Prowl greeted her with a nod of his head. "Lovely to see you, as always."

"Hey, D." Jazz smiled at the woman. "Technically, I'm late everyday. Ratchet went easy on me this morning since we have so much going on."

"Ah," she smiled back at the mech but it was strained. The pain in her head making it look more like a grimace. All she really wanted to do was sit down. "Gotcha."

"How are you feeling this morning?" Prowl observed the woman as she made her way to her desk, slightly fumbling as she climbed the stairs. "Pardon my saying, but you don't look like you feel very well."

"Yeah," Jazz frowned. "You look a little out of it, scraplet. Have you seen Ratchet?"

"No..." Amy waived off the mech's concern as she finally collapsed into her chair. "I'm fine. I have a headache and I think I might be catching a cold. I went over to Admin yesterday to run some paperwork and the guy at the desk was coughing and hacking all over the place. He offered me some candy while I waited and I was too polite to say no." She chuckled nervously, wincing as a stab of pain slashed through her skull. "Guess it serves me right for eating something given to me by someone who looks like they're dying from the plague. I took some meds, they just haven't had a chance to kick in yet."

"I don't know, D." Jazz shook his head. "With this whole spark energy thing with the twins, you should really think about gettin' checked out. Just in case."

"I agree," Prowl nodded. "This is an unprecedented situation and no one is certain how this could affect you. Ratchet advised that prolonged separation may be uncomfortable for the three of you, as it would be for anyone who is spark-tied. We didn't believe sending the twins on a trip this short of a duration would be a problem, however, if it's found you're being adversely affected we may need to reevaluate our operational protocols regarding deployment."

"What? No! It isn't a problem!" Amy insisted. "I'm not being...adversely affected. I'm just a little under the weather, that's all. It'll pass. Whatever is going on with all this spark stuff...it should in no way impact operational readiness or deployment. Operations is my job, for goodness sake!"

Prowl vented and looked to Jazz for help.

The smaller mech tried to reason with the woman. "D, we're just worried about you, is all. I promised Sunny and Sides I'd watch out for you while they were gone and I mean to do it. More importantly, I promised you that I'd have your back if you needed me. If anything happened to you, those two slaggers would be absolutely devastated. I'd be devastated...and Prowler here is pretty fond of ya, too."

"I appreciate the concern," Amy admitted. "I really do, but I'm fine...and even if I wasn't, I'm not more important than making sure operational standards are being maintained and I'm certainly not more important than fighting a war to the best that our abilities and manpower allow."

"What's the point of even fightin' a war if not to make sure the people that you love and care about are safe?" Jazz leaned forward in his seat and looked up at the woman sincerely. "Scraplet, to be perfectly honest...at this point, that's about all we have left. Whether you like it or not, D, you've made the list and we really can't afford to be scratchin' any more names off of it if we can help it."

Prowl said nothing, merely nodded solemnly in agreement with the other mech's words.

Amy took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, wincing a bit as she did so when a sharp pain stabbed through the middle of her chest. If she'd felt better, she'd have been touched. "Fine," she reluctantly agreed. "If it puts your mind at ease, if I'm not feeling any better in the morning I'll drop by and see Ratchet. I'm due to check in with him again anyway."

"It really would," Jazz flashed a relieved grin at the woman. "We care about ya, D."

"Yeah, yeah..." Amy slumped tiredly in her chair. "You and your emotional blackmail...you should be ashamed of yourself."

Prowl actually chuckled at that, a rare sound to be sure. "He certainly isn't."

"Nope," Jazz confirmed with an easy smile. "Not even a little bit."

Amy snorted in amusement before turning her attention to the SIC. "And this isn't going to affect how you do things?" She hesitated, "If there is a problem, I mean? I don't want to be responsible for single-handedly wrecking combat readiness."

"That certainly wouldn't be the case," Prowl assured. "Why don't we agree to revisit this issue once Ratchet has a chance to weigh in, the twins have returned, and we have more data? Fair enough?"

"Yeah," Amy sighed. "Fair enough."

"Good." The very corners of Prowl's lips turned up slightly. "That's settled, then."

Ugh..." Amy laid her head down on her desk and listened as the two mech's gradually picked back up on the conversation they'd been having when she'd walked in regarding the building of the containment unit. Apparently Prowl had been contacted by the SecDef who'd been quite helpful in suggesting that a pre-existing unit from something called 'Sector Seven' could be upgraded, repurposed, and relocated easier than it would be to start over from scratch. She listened half-heartedly until the world felt like it had stopped spinning around her and she felt stable enough to boot up her computer and do some actual work.

It was going to be a long day.

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"Whatcha doing, Sunny?" Sideswipe approached his brother and sank down next to him. They were currently in the belly of a military cargo plane somewhere over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, still a significant distance from their destination. Human transport was nothing if not extremely slow. He'd been passing the time by chatting with Bee, catching the scout up on all the happenings on base since he'd been away. Exhaustion and jet lag had finally caught up with the younger mech, however, and he'd folded himself up into his alt mode and fell into recharge. With nothing else to do, Sideswipe had avoided Ironhide and his brooding glare completely, and instead returned to the comfort and familiarity of his twin.

"Trying to stay busy," the yellow mech admitted with a frown as he studied the data pad in his hands. "Trying not to lose my fragging mind."

"Yeah," Sides pressed a hand over his chest plates, wincing at the hollow ache that resided there and trying to ignore the insistent tug telling him that he needed to turn around immediately and go home. "I know what you mean." He sat in silence for a moment, watching as Sunstreaker turned his attention back to the data pad. A fond smile tugged at his mouth, "That's the coast off of Valvolux, isn't it?"

"Mhmm," Sunstreaker confirmed with a nod. He'd been drawing, something he hadn't done in longer than he could remember. He was a bit rusty but the longer he doodled, the easier the lines seemed to flow. It wasn't long after that he'd found himself drawing in earnest a scene firmly engrained into his memory banks that recent events had brought to the forefront of his processor once again. Before he even realized it, he'd lost himself in the process and had sketched out a finely detailed picture of the jagged coastline along the Mithril Sea.

"I know I've probably said it a million times before but," Sideswipe bumped shoulders with his brother, "you're really talented, Sunny. I've really missed watching you work...it's beautiful. Are you thinking about painting it when we get back?"

Sunstreaker shrugged, "I don't know. I'm just...I don't know. It's just something to do to pass the time."

"You should," Sides encouraged. "I'm sure we could scrounge together some decent art supplies for you to use. I mean, Pit, we were able to gather up the materials to build a still to brew up some high grade. What's a little paint and canvas?"

"Yeah," Sunstreaker vented. "Maybe."

Sideswipe nudged the mech, leaning in to whisper in his audio, "I bet she'd love it."

Sunstreaker turned to glare at his twin. "Sides..."

"What?" Sides innocently asked. "She would. I know she would. She loves the ocean and it would give her something pretty to look at while she works. Besides," he shrugged, "It isn't everyday a femme learns that they're practically bonded to one of the greatest artists on Cybertron."

"Right," Sunny scoffed.

"I'm serious," Sideswipe insisted. "All the scrap hanging in the galleries was fragging garbage compared to your work. You know it as well as I do. No one is better than you are, Sunny...artist or otherwise." He stretched out against the bulkhead of the plane, closing his optics and trying to get comfortable. "No one. And I'm not just saying that because you're my brother and I love you. It's true."

Sunny looked down on his twin who'd sprawled out next to him and shook his head. "You're a slagging sentimental glitch, you know that?"

A grin split Sideswipe's features, "Guilty as charged." He cracked one optic open. "I'll help you find some supplies when we get home. Wake me up if anything exciting happens...or when we get there. Whatever happens first."

"Yeah, whatever." Sunstreaker turned his attention back to the data pad once more. "Get some recharge, slaghead."

"Love you, too, Sunshine."

"Don't call me that," Sunny halfheartedly demanded, one corner of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly. He studied his picture for a long moment, mentally layering the appropriate colors over top the black and white image he'd created. They'd long since decided that Amy's office was sorely in need of some kind of decoration, preferably some that weren't stolen. Perhaps Sides was right. Maybe the Squishie would appreciate some art to go on her wall. It was something to think about, at least.

A derisive snort brought the yellow mech out of his musings. He looked up to find Ironhide staring at him with a look of repugnant aversion etched on his face plates. Sunstreaker immediately schooled his own face into a mask of detached apathy. "What the frag are you looking at, Hide? You got something you want to say?"

The weapon's specialist merely grunted, shook his head in what looked like pity, and went back to tinkering with his guns.

"Fragging cogsucker," Sunny muttered. He took one last look at the picture he'd drawn and saved the file before closing out of the program. He settled back against the bulkhead and thumbed through the rest of the saved files on the data pad hoping Sideswipe had something on there worth reading. One file in particular labeled 'Research' caught his attention. Sunny raised a brow in curiosity and glanced down at his brother. The mech was already deep in recharge.

Sunstreaker smirked at his dozing twin and shook his head, "The Pit kind of research you been doing, slagger?"

End of Chapter 29

So, opinion time. How do you guys feel about Jazz x Prowl? I've kind of toyed around with the idea of making them more than just good buddies in this story but I'm not sure. If they were, it wouldn't really change any of the dynamics of the story that I've got mapped out. Well, it might slightly alter one thing that hasn't happened yet but in a good way, I think, if we go that route. It might also be kind of interesting to watch Amy discover that bit of info, lol. Can you imagine the look on her face? Ha, ha! Regardless, they'll still be BFFs forever in my head. Just wanted to know what you lovely people thought. I'm so indecisive!