ROH Chapter 13

Author's notes: Okay folks, I messed up in some previous chapters. It turns out that while Hoover Dam is located on the Colorado river, it is actually only thirty-five miles from Las Vegas. This chapter reflects those locations; I will edit and change the others to match a little later. Sorry about that that.

Rockhammer looked around at the piles of junk and scrap metal lying in what seemed to be haphazard piles almost everywhere. He was more than a little disconcerted by the impossibly HUGE mess that made up the entire junkyard! He was still trying to process the unbelievable chaos, when the junkyard's owner spoke up.

"Just put those down in any clear spot. I gotta get a hold of a friend of mine and see if I can borrow his HET to get all three of you over to Nellis. Damn, that's gonna be fun! A crap load of paper work, and a ton of permits. That's not even counting the escort from the police and the highway patrol." Daniel said complaining sourly about the requirements for the transport.

"What excuse are you going to use? You know those humans are going to want some kind of explanation." Barricade teased with a snicker.

"Hmmm. Junkyard to an Air Force base..." Daniel muttered thinking hard.

Suddenly he looked up at Barricade and grinned sadistically.

"There's only one BELIEVABLE reason for the Air Force to buy something from a junk yard. And that's to use the stuff as a TARGET!" Daniel said with a wide grin.

Barricade growled menacingly at the salvage operator as he put the man down. Then he gave the man a wide smile showing all of his dagger like teeth. "Optimus wouldn't let that happen. On the other hand, your Secretary of Defense John Keller just might prefer to use YOU as a, what do you call them... Oh yes; a LIVE target!" Barricade taunted.

"You two just LOVE ta get each other riled don't ya?" Rockhammer asked after he'd unburdened himself.

"You know a better way to have some fun?" Daniel shot back.

"I can see right now, that I'm gonna need a couple more razor strops, cuz I'm gonna be wearin this one out REAL quick like." Rockhammer muttered.

Daniel didn't say anything to that. Instead he headed over to his shop and opened his ice chest and grabbed a one litre Mt. Dew. Nearly a third of it was gone when he finally pulled it away from his mouth. Then pulling out his cell phone, Daniel made a call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Darrel. You still got that HET? I got a few things I need to haul over to Nellis." Daniel said getting right to the point.

"Sure, I'm not usin it. You wouldn't want to loan me that A frame truck would ya? I need to move some engines around." Darrel replied.

"Sure! I've got it over at the storage lot fro moving things around over there, but I'm gonna be gone for a few days, after I drop this stuff off. Meet me at the gate of my storage lot, since that's where everything is."

"I'll be there in about ninety minutes. Want me to keep an eye on your place while you're gone?" Darrel asked.

"Yeah, that'd be great, and thanks Buddy." Daniel said hanging up.

"Now, I need to figure out how I'm gonna get those permits." Daniel muttered to himself.

"Why don't you use the scanner to contact Optimus, and let him make the arrangements?" Barricade suggested.

"That sounds like a good idea." Daniel said as he pulled out the small unit that Ratchet had loaned him. "How do I call him on this thing?"

Barricade looked at the active device for a second and then pointed out a Cybertronian glyph on the small screen. "That one is his comm signal. Tap that, and you'll have direct communication if he responds."

"Damn, this is a handy little bugger!" Daniel said with a grin as he tried to open a channel to the Autobot leader.

"Daniel?" Optimus asked after checking the location and source of the signal. "How did you get this frequency?" Optimus asked puzzled.

"Oh, I'm using that scanner thing that Ratchet loaned me so I could scan your engine. He never asked to have it back, and I forgot about it until a little while ago. But the reason I'm calling is that I need all kinds of permits, and an escort to use a HET to bring some stuff over to Nellis. Maigan and Ironhide are bringing a trailer of stuff back, and then I ran into some other... uh... stuff that I need to bring, and I mentioned it to Barricade, and he told me how to call you." Daniel answered.

"He suggested that I let you make the arrangements and I'm guessing that you'd be able to do it a lot easier than I can, since you got all that kick ass internet stuff." Daniel added quickly.

"I can make the arrangements without a problem, but what exactly are you bringing?" Optimus asked curiously.

"Tell ya what, Big Rig. Let's keep this as a surprise until I get to the base, because I wanna be there to see the look on your face when you find out what I've got." Daniel replied with a grin.

A loud groan was heard from the unit as Optimus' processors tried in vain to figure out what the salvage operator had this time. "Fine. I'll see what it is when you get here. And it had BETTER not be something for you to annoy Ratchet or Ironhide with." Optimus warned gravely.

"Oh... don't worry about that Big Rig; I already got that covered." Daniel stated happily.

A noise of resigned exasperation emerged from the scanning unit before the connection was terminated.

"Well, Rockhammer. It looks like we got a bit of time before the transport gets here, so I might as well get you cleaned up a bit." Daniel said as he walked into his shop and pulled out a pressure washer. Then he went back into his shop, and brought out three gallons of WD-40. He started back towards his shop when he heard Rockhammer chuckle.

"WD-40, the best stuff ever made as far as I'm concerned. That stuff will work some miracles on a bot's joints! I know of a lot of miners that swear by the stuff. Has a right nice smell to it too." Rockhammer commented happily.

"Yep, stuff works wonders; don't it." Daniel said as he walked back into the shop to grab a water hose.

"Yup! Sure does. Ain't ever seen anything like it. This stuff makes my joints produce their own natural lube faster than anything else. And that includes the stuff in a medbay." Rockhammer replied.

"Wait. Are you saying that stuff will repair a damaged joint?" Barricade demanded quickly.

"Nah. It won't repair a joint, but it will stimulate your own lube production so that your systems can fix the joint faster, why?" Rockhammer answered.

"Because he used that stuff on my femme creator when he worked on her." Barricade said with mixed emotions.

"Don't worry too much about it then, sonny. That's some real fine oil he used, and after seein what it did for me when them miners used it; I wouldn't ever complain about it." Rockhammer said firmly.

Barricade only nodded his head, while thinking about it as he watched Daniel hook up the water hose and the pressure washer.

Daniel turned on the water, and started up the pressure washer. "Okay 'Hammer, change back in to the drill rig and I can get you washed down."

Rockhammer looked down at Daniel with a curious expression on his face plates. "Why do all of you humans end up callin me Hammer?"

"'Hammer. Short for Rockhammer. Besides, you look like you can pound the hell out of damned near anything."

"And you little guys wonder why I like ya." Rockhammer said chuckling as he transformed.

Once again, the sounds of grinding metal, shifting and turning gears, rocks being crushed, and dirt being ground into the various moving parts filled the air as the old mech transformed. As soon as the transformation was complete, Daniel stepped forward and started blasting away dirt, clay, mud, and rock that had been there for who knew how many generations.

Almost as soon as he started, there was a sound like a sigh of relief as the massive mech settled further down on his treads. "I would've SWORN that water would be COLD!" Rockhammer said thankfully.

Daniel laughed mischievously. "Nah! You don't need a cold shower right now, but you will after you get a look at Starglide!"

Both mechs started spluttering instantly. Barricade was spluttering in indignation, while Rockhammer was spluttering in disbelief.

"My creator is NOT a sex object!" Barricade growled angrily.

"I've never met this Starglide, so I cain't say one way or the other right now, but I don't much cotton women bein treated like that. Ya hear?" Rockhammer stated irritably. "And what's a little critter like you doin gawkin at a Cybertronian femme anyways?"

"Look you two; it's like this. Starglide's got all the right parts in all the right places. I know, because I helped put 'em there during her repairs yesterday. Even if she was nothing but a machine built by us, I'd be sayin the same damned thing. Look around. I own a junkyard. I know a fine piece of machinery or equipment when I see it and Starglide beats everything I've got hands down. Ironhide said she's small, fast, and highly maneuverable, and quite frankly, I'd LOVE a chance to be in the cockpit when she struts her stuff, 'cause I'm bettin that's gonna be one HELL of a ride!" Daniel said enthusiastically.

"I still don't wanna hear you talkin about her that way. Even if she did somethin ta deserve it, ya ain't got the right! Ya hear me boy?" Rockhammer demanded grouchily.

"Actually, I think I'll just tell my mother what you said about her and let her deal with you, since I'm QUITE sure that she'll deliver a MUCH better punishment than either one of us can." Barricade said with an evil smirk.

"You think she can deal out somethin better than a good dose of a razor strop?" Rockhammer asked interestedly.

"Oh yes! I'm sure the little glitch there is going to SERIOUSLY regret his actions today; LONG before my mother gets done with him." Barricade said with a sinister tone.

Both mechs started snickering at that, and the salvage operator got a disgruntled expression on his face.

"I'm gonna tell my mommy on you." Daniel mocked in childlike tone.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do! So enjoy your little bit of fun while you can meatball, because I can guarantee that you won't be having any fun when my mother gets a hold of you!" Barricade warned.

"Meatball? MEATBALL? Tell me that's not the best you got. But then I guess I really shouldn't expect much from an over sized chunk of scrap." Daniel shot back.

"I see no reason to give my processors a workout right now. Because they'll get a REALLY good workout from me when I'm trying to stay online while watching my mother deal with you. Although, I'm sure that Ratchet won't be too happy with me afterwards, because he'll probably be replacing some of my components after I damage them from LAUGHING so hard!" Barricade retorted.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Daniel griped sourly as he continued blasting the filth off of the mech in front of him.

It took him a good twenty minutes with the pressure washer to get the crud off the large mech, but when he finally did, he shut down the pressure washer, and set it aside.

"Now I need you to transform and lay down, so I can get to your joints." Daniel instructed as he picked up a two gallon pressure sprayer and filled it with WD-40.

Rockhammer couldn't have been much happier at that moment. Whatever else he might say about the irritating little human, he had to give the man some credit for not skimping on the good stuff. He watched with interested glee as Daniel kept having to pump up the sprayer so that every joint and movable part was thoroughly doused with one of the best lubes ever invented by the human species.

As he rolled over, Rockhammer could feel that penetrating oil seeping into his joints and stimulating his own lubricant production. It was a wonderful sensation to a mech that had spent ages in his alt mode. Never for the spark of him, would he have thought that the primitive simians that he used to watch as they scampered about in the small scraggly trees of another continent could turn out to be intelligent and make such a wonderful product. He'd spent ages observing the life on the planet. He watched the emergence and extinction of hundreds of species. He'd been aware of the budding civilization for several thousand years, but had never done anything to interfere, or reveal himself, until he'd heard the screams of the trapped miners. After rescuing them, he'd eventually ended working with them. It had been an uneasy relationship at first, until he'd learned their language, but after that, he'd gotten along with them just fine, and had even helped and watched over several generations of miners, until recent events had forced him out.

Rockhammer had been on such good terms with the miners that they had readily kept his secret, and even assisted with his maintenance needs when they could. He hated having to leave them, but now, it seemed that he might, just MIGHT have a chance, and a reason to stay on this planet.

He was idly thinking about this strange turn of events in his life when Daniel finally finished soaking down his joints.

"Now, just give that stuff about five minutes to work down into those joints, and you oughta be good to go for a while. I can finish gettin ya squared away when we get to Nellis, but for right now, I got a transport en route and a BBQ pit full of food heading into Nellis now, if it ain't already there. So, all we're waitin on now is for Big Rig to call me back and tell me he got that damned paper work done." Daniel stated as he walked over to retrieve his Mt. Dew.

"You ain't plannin on gettin lit are ya? I don't cotton ta drunks at all, so if that's yer plan, you can count me out of it." Rockhammer said firmly.

"Ha! I don't drink much." Daniel began before he was interrupted by loud laughter from Barricade. Daniel turned to look at the former Decepticon with a hard glare.

"When the HELL have you EVER seen me with alcohol?" He demanded angrily.

"That? Never! But the amount of caffeine you go through frags Ratchet off enough that it might as well be alcohol." Barricade retorted.

"Hate ta break it to you, Scrap heap. But I can't stand the smell of beer, forget about the taste, and as far as liquor goes; only on rare occasions, and ONLY the good stuff, which is pretty damned expensive." Daniel informed irritably.

"Doesn't make any difference as far as Ratchet's concerned, and you know it!" Barricade shot back.

"I don't care what he thinks! He better leave my damned coffee alone, or I'm gonna separate his head from the rest of him and then fix him up enough to let him watch while I make a damned BBQ pit out of his head and crank that sucker up!" Daniel stated sincerely.

"Good Lord, Sonny! A little fond of that coffee, are ya? Ain't heard a warnin that serious since one of the miners found out about another courtin his daughter." Rockhammer interjected as he got to his feet.

"There's only one problem with it. He's completely serious. My femme creator had to separate those two by force yesterday, and she wasn't happy about it either. I thought she was going to end up killing the little glitch monger when he wasn't willing to let it go easily." Barricade recalled humorously.

"That sounds like one way ta handle a pair of ornery cusses. But I was talkin about havin a little XX Busthead with that BBQ of Yours." Rockhammer commented.

"Double X Busthead? What's that?" Daniel asked dubiously.

"That'd be the home made whiskey them miners used ta make." Rockhammer replied.

"Holy SHIT! Talk about kickin like a mule and twice as hard! I've heard stories that the crap you're talkin about was nearly as strong as moonshine!" Daniel exclaimed.

"Sure was! Some of that stuff was even strong enough ta git ME overcharged!" Rockhammer replied.

"Holy Primus! HUMAN alcohol was able to get a mech your size overcharged?" Barricade demanded in doubt.

"Oh yeah. And watch out for the next day, 'cause you'll be wishin for Megatronus Prime to show up an offline ya SLOWLY just so you can feel a bit better before you die!" Rockhammer answered with a grin.

"Hey 'Hammer? That's called a hang over from hell! I know with us, there ain't no cure except for just letting it go away on its own, and I'd almost bet that it's the same for you guys." Daniel said with a chuckle.

Daniel motioned for the two mechs to follow him while they continued the conversation, as he led the way to the storage lot.

"Yup! You'd be purgin your tanks so hard that you'd SWEAR they were comin up next! Your processors ache somethin fierce, and every sensor in your frame is yammerin at ya so loud that ya cain't even think. Not that ya want to 'cause it hurts too much!" Rockhammer replied.

"How much of that slagging stuff did you drink to get an overcharge?" Barricade demanded incredulously.

"Well I only had right at five hundred gallons, but then that was on a full charge too. On the other hand, you ain't gettin me ta try that stuff again!" Rockhammer explained.

Daniel shook his head when he heard that. "Damn. Five hundred gallons of booze? In one night? That must have been one hell of a party!"

"Well, they only did it cause I led 'em to a vein of ore that made 'em all... stinkin rich I think they called it. They found this one lump of near pure gold that was a little over sixty pounds. They could have retired on that vein, but they stuck it out, and stayed with me. An I figured that I couldn't rightly abandon 'em. 'Sides, I kinda liked them folks." Rockhammer said easily.

Ten minutes later, they reached the gate of Daniel's storage lot, and Barricade looked around with a bit of morbid fascination. Almost any kind of mech could hide here given the various types of equipment and vehicles that were in the lot. Almost every type of vehicle that a human could possibly need was there to be scanned. The enforcer was amazed by the sheer variety. Primus help him, but there were even military vehicles there, although for what reason, the mech had no idea. It was when he spotted one particularly odd vehicle that was obviously NOT of civilian make that he turned to question the demented little owner.

"What the slag are you doing with a fragging TANK?" Barricade demanded.

"I traded a Volvo box truck for it. Besides, it's the ULTIMATE road rage machine. I mean, it's not like some jackass in a truck is gonna cut in front of a 1943 Sherman Tank, now ARE they?" Daniel said with a snicker.

"So what are you going to do with it?" Barricade asked curiously.

Daniel shrugged. "Don't really know. Mostly I got it to add to my collection of other military stuff. So far, I've got a Four ton half track truck, a B-19 bomber, that I need to finish restoring, an old jeep, and believe it or not, but I actually got my hands on an old Mig-21 from Russia, although the weapon mounts were taken off, and all the instruments have been switched over to American versions, it's still a Russian jet." He finished with a grin.

Barricade just shook his head while Rockhammer watched the two curiously. He was fairly certain that the mech and the human had a rather odd relationship that was similar to that of a pair of brothers he had once worked with. The two of them argued, bickered, and insulted each other shamelessly, but woe to any individual that started anything with either one of them. He could readily see that it was a very odd, but still strangely functional relationship between the two.

The old mech's scanners detected a large vehicle approaching, and while his optics weren't all that good, his sensors more than made up for that deficiency with incredible range and sensitivity. Designed to provide advanced warning of possible fault lines and structural weaknesses in the mining tunnels through several miles of solid rock, he could determine the exact size and weight of the vehicle by vibration alone.

"Hey Barricade. I think we might wanna get into our alt modes, cause there's a rig comin up the road, an I think they're comin here." Rockhammer suggested.

"That's probably Darrel with the HET. If it is, and it's big enough, then I can use it to get all three of you back to Nellis. Shit! That reminds me..." Daniel said before he pulled out his keys and separated two of them from the huge wad strung together on nearly a dozen rings.

Daniel watched with interest as the two mechs transformed back into their alt modes, and once again marveled at just how compact the strange drilling rig was when compared to his standard mode. The sound of a large diesel engine drew his attention to the road, and he went over to the gate to open it.

He had just finished swinging the second half of the gate open when the old Mac pulled into sight. Daniel had to grin at the sight of the old rig. He had to admit that Darrel kept it looking as if it had just rolled off the show room floor in spite of its age.

The gleaming pearlescent grey paint was shining in the Nevada sun and throwing off some pretty serious glares. Chrome trim, and a few extra running lights topped off the appearance of the old 1977 Mac Superliner. The chrome rims were polished to a high shine and Daniel knew that there wasn't even any dirty grease on the hitch plate. For a fellow salvage operator, Darrel kept his equipment in top condition.

Daniel waved as Darrel pulled into the lot and saw the twin stacks belch exhaust that was as black as coal as the driver goosed the huge twin turbo E-9 V-8 engine. He listened to the sounds the rig made when Darrel shut it down, and knew that while it hadn't been modified for racing, that the engine was still perfectly tuned for its intended purpose.

"Hey Buddy, how's it been going?" Daniel asked as Darrel climbed down from the truck.

"It's been going pretty go..." Darrel froze in mid sentence as he spotted the alien drilling rig from Cybertron.

"What the hell is THAT?" Darrel asked softly.

"Well, THAT is what I needed to borrow the HET for. I gotta haul that big monster over to Nellis. Not sure what they're gonna do with it, but getting it there is the main thing." Daniel answered.

"All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not a wall of rock, because that thing looks like it means business." Darrel muttered.

"No kiddin. Ain't had a chance to try it out yet, so I don't have a clue as to how fast it can dig, but with a drill head like that, I'm bettin it ain't no slouch!" Daniel replied.

"Well, here's the keys to 'The Road Warrior', don't let some punk ding him up okay?"

"Oh I won't. I'll make sure I got a crowbar handy." Daniel said with a grin.

"Oh! Hey listen. I got a line on an old Sikorsky CH-53 and a Huey. Even has the mount for the door gun. You interested?" Darrel asked suddenly.

Daniel eyed his friend suspiciously; KNOWING there had to be a catch. "TWO military choppers? Uh huh, and what are you wantin for 'em?" He asked skeptically.

"Well, see I got my hands on an old '68 GT-500. Right now it's just a hull. No engine or tranny. So I got to thinkin about where to get my hands on a drive train, and then I remembered that busted up F-1 you bought at an auction. You still haven't done anything with it have you?" Darrel answered in a sly tone.

Daniel's left eyebrow rose as he looked at Darrel as if the man had lost a PAIR of minds! Then he put it together and figured out what the man was getting at.

"You want to cram a fucking V-10 into a 1968 Shelby GT-500? Are you crazier than I am or what?" Daniel blurted out.

"Nope. I'm smart enough to know that after I get it done, you're going to want it; BAD!" Darrel answered smugly.

Daniel reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out his smokes and quickly lit one. He knew that if this were a poker game that his friend would be holding a Royal Flush. Whatever it was that Darrel wanted from him, Daniel was sure it wasn't going to be easy to let go of.

"What are you after now, Darrel?" Daniel asked ominously.

"Simple. I want that dozer of yours." Darrel stated bluntly.

"Granny! You want me to give up Granny!" Daniel blurted referring to his old bull dozer.

"Yup."

Daniel let out a sigh of frustration as he thought it over. Then he realized that with his one good wrecker serving as a casket for Chinook, and his new role as a repair technician for the Autobots, that he was pretty much out of the salvage business anyway, so why not? Then he got an idea.

"Can you have it done in two days?" Daniel asked sourly, not wanting to give away just how willing he was to make the trade.

"TWO DAYS! Are you NUTS? What am I saying, of COURSE you are!" Darrel exploded before letting out a sigh of irritation. "I think I can do it, since the interior's in good shape, but I'd need to pick up that drive train now to get it done in time."

"No problem, The F-1 is next to the A-frame. Come on, I'll help you hook it up." Daniel answered.

It took the two about ten minutes to get the totaled F-1 race car hoisted into the air and tied to the A-frame truck so it wouldn't swing while going down the road.

"So what'd you give for that Shelby anyways?" Daniel asked as Darrel was getting into the truck.

"I swapped that Cessna 180 Skyhawk for it." Darrel answered smugly as he started up and drove off.

Daniel stood there fuming silently, knowing that Darrel had gotten the better end of their trading as far as original investment went, although if he were to resell the stuff Daniel could make out like a bandit. He knew that he would never let those things go though.

Daniel watched as Darrel left the lot, before he turned back to the HET. The trailer was sectional, and the second half of it was stacked on top of the front half so it could be driven on the road without a special permit. He went over and began undoing the chains which held it in place so he could use his back hoe to unload the trailer and get it set up for the haul.

Daniel had just started heading towards his yard when Rockhammer transformed and stood up.

"Want a hand gettin that trailer set up?" He asked when the human turned around.

"Sure! That'd be a hell of a lot easier than gettin that back hoe over here to do it." Daniel answered quickly.

"You grab one side and I'll get the other." Barricade grinned as he stood next to the trailer.

Rockhammer only nodded and the two easily lifted the rear section and placed where it needed to go with no problems.

Daniel immediately started connecting the hoses and lines for the brakes and trailer lights and was about to start on the other connections when Rockhammer spoke again.

"You want me to go grab that youngin for ya, while you wangle that thing?" Rockhammer asked.

"Sure! That'll save some time, because I have no idea when our escort will get here, but I'm betting they're already on the way. Hey Cade! You wanna grab all the chains off the dozer and the ones off the back hoe too? I'm gonna need 'em to tie you guys down well enough to satisfy the cops when they get here. Grab my ice chest while you're at it!" Daniel replied.

As the two mechs left, Daniel could hear Barricade griping and complaining about being forced to ride on the trailer, when he was perfectly capable of driving himself.

Daniel finished hooking up the HET and lit a smoke to wait for the two mechs to return. Daniel didn't have to wait for long, and when he got there, Rockhammer laid the unconscious Skywarp on the trailer with no problem.

Daniel made short work of getting the mech secured to the trailer, before he turned to Barricade.

"I'll need you up front so 'Hammer will have room in the middle of the trailer." Daniel told him.

"I do happen to have a holoform, so that I can easily drive myself as part of the escort you know." Barricade growled in annoyance.

"Yeah? And just how the hell do you plan to explain to the highway patrol that you are marked for a jurisdiction that ain't anywhere CLOSE to being local? They'd take one look at your markings and know DAMNED good and well that you're out of place and want a shit load of paper work from you!" Daniel retorted.

Barricade growled angrily as he climbed onto the trailer because he knew that he didn't have that paper work on him.

"Don't worry bout it youngin. Just enjoy a nice little ride. I've done this a few times an it ain't nothin ta worry about." Rockhammer reassured with a chuckle.

Daniel watched with interest as the big mech folded himself into his alt mode and somehow ended up on the trailer in the process. He wasn't sure exactly how that had been done, but he wasn't about to question it right then because there were several vehicles pulling into the lot. Daniel looked over at them a little apprehensively as he wondered exactly what they'd seen. Deciding to try to play it off, Daniel got another length of chain and started securing both the alien drilling rig and the police interceptor.

"What in THE world have you got loaded on this trailer?" Someone asked from behind the salvage operator.

Daniel turned around to see a Lieutenant with the Nevada State Highway Dept. standing there looking at the three pieces of cargo in stark disbelief.

Daniel's mind raced for a split second before he came up with something to say in response.

"I'll give you two options, and you can pick which one you want to believe, Officer." Daniel said with a grin.

"The first option is that all three of them are giant alien robots from the planet Cybertron. The second option is that some director from Hollywood wants 'em for some project of his." Daniel stated without stopping the process of tying Rockhammer down to the trailer.

"Huh! That figures. Did you happen to build these yourself?" The officer asked.

"Nope. They're all recent acquisitions, and all I know is that I got to get 'em down to Nellis ASAP. I'm sorry about the lack of notice on this, but I just got the call a little earlier." Daniel replied.

The officer gave a disgruntled sigh. "Yeah, I know how that one goes! The Boss says jump, and you'd better be in mid air when you ask 'how high'."

"Pretty much." Daniel answered as he finished strapping the mechs down with the chains.

"Now, what papers do I need to sign? I've never done this before, so you know more about it than I do." Daniel said reasonably.

The officer requested to see Daniel's driver's license, and demanded that the man fill out the paper work for the permits.

"Okay, you're not certified to drive commercially, so do you want to tell me how this doesn't qualify as commercial?"

"Simple. I'm going from my junkyard to Nellis Air Force Base. I am delivering three pieces of equipment to Nellis and that's that." Daniel said simply.

"Fair enough." The officer replied.

Twenty minutes later Daniel was on the road. The Mac Superliner was purring along like a champ. It was slow going, because the escort had to clear two lanes for him to use and block off any intersections that he needed to cross. The fifty two foot trailer with more than a dozen axels on it wasn't something that turned very easily, or quickly.

The trip to Nellis took nearly two hours because of the speeds they were forced to use, but eventually they rolled up to the gate of the famed Air Force base. The officer leading the escort got out of his vehicle and walked back to the rig where Daniel was climbing out of the cab.

"I hope you got the paper work to get in here, because we can't help you with that one." The officer stated with a grin.

"Don't I know it! I had some problems the last time, but I think I'm gonna be okay for now. Thanks for the escort Officer." Daniel replied easily.

Daniel was showing his ID to the gate guards as the officers left. The MP's guarding the gate looked over the vehicles to make sure that there were no unauthorized passengers before sending him on through.

Daniel drove through the valley complex that comprised the Air Force base, and parked the Mac Superliner next to his oversized wreckers. He quickly got the chains undone and grinned as Barricade transformed bitching loudly about having to ride on the trailer the entire time.

Rockhammer was unchained next, and Daniel watched closely to figure out just how the mech was able to move from the trailer to standing on the ground without taking a single step. The salvage operator was more than a little frustrated by the fruitless effort, when he failed to spot just how it was accomplished. With a shake of his head, Daniel turned to unchain Skywarp.

As soon as Daniel got the seeker unhooked, Rockhammer reached down and picked him up to place the unconscious seeker over his shoulder.

"Now, just where do you plan to put this youngin?" Rockhammer asked skeptically.

"Uh, well... I guess we'd better take him inside, and find out what to do with him." Daniel answered.

Daniel and Barricade opened the main doors to the hanger, and saw that it was empty but for the tables that had been used for the conference earlier. Daniel scratched his head as he thought about what to do next.

"Well, if it's still open, I guess we can stick him in the same room where Starglide was. Then we can tell Big Rig and the others when we see 'em." Daniel finally suggested.

"That sounds good to me. Besides, Ratchet will need to remove or deactivate his teleporting system before we reactivate him." Barricade commented.

"Yeah! No SHIT! That poofing crap was UNREAL!" Daniel added irritably.

"Hah! I'll bet that's the LAST time you try to use a crowbar on one of us!" Barricade retorted smugly.

"Like HELL! It worked didn't it? I never let go of a good thing as long as it works, and THAT little method has been PROVEN!" Daniel shot back as he motioned the two mechs onto the lift.

Daniel closed the safety gates and started the descent. When it finally stopped fifteen minutes later, he opened the safety gates and started to lead the way to the same storage room that Starglide had lain in for so many years.

"Ya know, I believe I've worked mines that were smaller than this place is. This complex fills this whole stinkin valley! How long did it take you folks ta build this thing?" Rockhammer asked as he looked at the readings from his sensors.

"You... you can tell how big this facility is from your scanners?" Barricade demanded in disbelief.

"Yeah, but what ya gotta remember is that my sensors are built ta be used in underground tunnels. That way, I can tell where the fault strata, and stress fractures are. Ain't much use in bein a prospector ifn I get killed by a cave in, now is it?" Rockhammer replied.

Barricade gave a noncommittal grunt, while Daniel noted that the sensors on the big mech were better than the ones used by Optimus. As he made the turn to see the storage room at the end of the large corridor, Daniel was relieved to see that the door was still open.

"Okay 'Hammer. Just lay him down in there, and I'll get Bones to take a look at him later. In the meantime, I need to get back up top and check on my BBQ." Daniel stated.

Rockhammer did as he was asked, but wasn't actually happy about it. He still wasn't convinced of what he'd been told, but he was willing to play along for a while until he found reason to believe otherwise. He'd been around humans long enough that his sensors could detect a lie with no problem, so he knew that Daniel was telling what he knew to be the truth. The only question that remained was, had Daniel been told the truth?

Silence reigned as the unlikely trio rode the lift back up to the surface. Once they reached the hanger, they still hadn't encountered anyone, so Daniel led the way back outside. He walked around the hanger to the left and spotted the flatbed trailer with his BBQ pit on it smoking merrily. He walked over to the pit and opened it to check the meats. Almost everything was looking good, except for that odd brand of hot dogs he'd bought. He still wasn't too sure about those, but they were better than nothing. Suddenly he got an odd idea, now he just wondered if he could get the cooperation to pull it off.

"Hey, you two come here. I got an idea." Daniel told them with a grin.

When the two mechs leaned in close, Daniel filled them in on his plans. As he began to elaborate and explain his idea, Barricade voiced a few objections before he finally agreed, and then both mechs started to grin before Rockhammer burst out laughing. Whatever doubts he might have had were eased as the human laid out his daring plans.

Daniel had been tending to the pit for about fifteen minutes when he heard the hanger doors start to open. Instantly the man turned to Barricade and started yelling.

"I don't give a damn what ya say! I caught it, and I'm keepin it! Pure and simple!" Daniel yelled while waving a pair of tongs at the black and white mech.

"He is NOT a slagging PET!" Barricade bellowed just as loud.

"Too fuckin bad! I'm gonna make a pet out of him! Just watch and see if I don't!" Daniel yelled even louder.

"I don't care if you DID catch him! You can't have him as a slagging pet!" Barricade yelled back.

"Both of you be quiet this instant!" Starglide interrupted as she raised her voice over both of them.

"I don't care what ya say! I caught it, and I get to keep it! End of story!" Daniel said shaking a finger at Barricade and making sure to get the last word in.

"You need to be silent or I promise that you will sincerely regret it." Starglide told Daniel, before she turned to Barricade.

"Seekers are NOT pets!" Barricade yelled angrily as he ignored Starglide's instructions.

"HOOOLD IT! BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! I MEAN NOW!" Starglide bellowed at the top of her vocalizer.

Daniel's eyes widened in shock as the BBQ pit seemed to vibrate from the force and sheer volume of the roar that had erupted from the femme.

Starglide turned to Barricade with her optics narrowed dangerously and she was OBVIOUSLY irate when she did.

"Now. You are going to tell me EXACTLY what you mean by that last statement!" Starglide demanded in a softer but still dangerous tone that said she wasn't playing.

"He wants to keep a SEEKER as a pet! I keep…" Barricade began before he was interrupted.

"He wants to WHAT?" Starglide yelled in surprise before she turned and knelt down to face the demented little human that seemed determined to cause trouble.

"Exactly WHICH seeker are you talking about keeping as a pet? And you had BETTER tell me the truth!" Starglide insisted in irritation.

"Let's see. What's his name again? Skywash? Cloudwarp? Something like that. Anyway, his name ain't important, cuz I plan on changing it to George anyway." Daniel said with a grin.

Starglide stood up as her processors whirled in confusion, then she suddenly realized exactly who Daniel was referring to, and she became even angrier.

"First of all, what makes you think that you can keep Skywarp as a pet, and second of all, WHY would you want to change his name to George of all things?" Starglide demanded in exasperation.

"I caught him so I get to keep him! I'm gonna change his name to George, so I can hug him and pet him and call him George until he screams!" Daniel replied with a smile while doing an impression from the old Bugs Bunny cartoon.

"Oh, and you don't think that someone else might have something to say about that? I'm sure that since Barricade helped…" Starglide was saying when she was cut off.

"Don't you EVEN get me involved in that! The only thing I had to do with it was that he showed up to talk to me. Then he made the mistake of calling Daniel a 'squishy' after that glitch got his crowbar. I tried to warn him, but Nooo, he wouldn't listen!" Barricade stated defensively.

"HE caught Skywarp? By himself?" Starglide demanded in disbelief.

"Yup! Sure did. I even said yesterday, that sooner or later, there'd be a fight between me and one of you guys that nobody'd be able to break up. Well it finally happened, and you SEE who came out on top! I'll give you a clue, it ain't that funny lookin jet that I plan to tame either. He's gonna make for a kick ASS pet jet!" Daniel said maliciously and finished with a grin.

Starglide stared down at the demented little man for a few moments as she thought things over. The fact that he would even consider attacking a seeker to begin with was enough to short out a processor, but to think that he'd somehow WON, was enough to short out an entire processing CORE!

Deciding that a few additional opinions might be useful she summoned the rest of the Autobots on her comm system, but deliberately neglected to tell them why.

She looked down at the little man who was wearing a smug expression as he turned back to tend his pit. So calm, so self confident, and so far BEYOND irritating that it didn't even bear mentioning, it was at once obvious to her that this strange little human was a truly supreme annoyance!

"Daniel, are you causing problems AGAIN? Look! I've already told you that if you keep this up, that you'll be swappin that crowbar of yours for a sledgehammer and I MEAN it!" SecDef Keller said angrily.

"Apparently, he used that crowbar of his to capture Skywarp! Now he wants the mech for a PET!" Starglide blurted in exasperation.

"Skywarp? Bout TIME someone did something about that rotten slagger!" Ironhide said as he came out of the hanger.

Daniel looked over at the black mech and his jaw dropped in shock. He was completely unable to believe what his eyes were clearly showing him. Suddenly, loud raucous laughter was echoing through the valley as Daniel fell over holding his stomach.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Laugh it up you little glitch! I owe you one for this!" Ironhide complained loudly.

"Well... I'll... bet... the... next... time... he tells... you... to scan... something... you... won't... scan... something... different!" Barricade taunted in between shouted peals of laughter.

Not quite sure what the two were laughing about, SecDef Keller turned to look at the weapons specialist and choked.

There it was. Right out in the open. In plain sight. Right where human genitals would be was both the trailer hitch and the pair of black Truck Nutz! The hitch resembled nothing less than a crazily bent and weirdly shaped steel penis!

Starglide looked from Ironhide to Daniel who was still laughing, then to Barricade, before looking back at Ironhide.

"I believe that you neglected to tell me that he instructed you to scan something different." Starglide said coldly.

"Like that makes a slagging difference!" Ironhide complained.

"Oh, but it does! It makes a HUGE difference! If you scanned the wrong thing, then that is YOUR mistake, NOT his, and he FULLY deserves to be able to laugh at your expense for making that mistake! Now, I strongly suggest that you LOSE that added equipment before Mikeala or Maigan sees it!" Starglide berated.

"Oh you're WAY too late on that one!" Mikeala laughed as she snapped a photo with her cell phone. "I'm hoping to see what it looks like when he tries to hook onto a trailer while standing up!" She said laughing even louder while using her cell phone to take another picture.

Maigan, who was standing next to her started snicker loudly at that one while Daniel began kicking his feet on the ground as he pictured exactly how such an act would look.

Starglide's optics shot wide as she looked down at the two teenaged young women before she turned back to Ironhide and addressed him with a deadly menace in her tone.

"Get. Rid. Of. It. Now." Starglide bit out in a growl.

"I think he oughta hang on ta his little symbol of mech hood!" Jazz said with a laugh.

"I think you need to stay clear of THIS one, Jazz!" Starglide warned.

Realizing that he'd lost his argument before it had ever begun, Ironhide reformed his armor in a brilliant flash of blue light as he scowled at the still laughing salvage operator.

Daniel had seen what had just happened and he started laughing even harder.

"NOW what are you laughing about?" Starglide demanded with a shake of her head.

"His jewels just disappeared like a bolt out of the blue, LITTERALLY!" Daniel said before he started laughing again.

Starglide stood there, staring at the deranged human until he stopped laughing. After about five minutes, when Daniel got to his feet while still snickering occasionally, Starglide knelt down to look him right in his eyes.

"Now, about this seeker that you caught..." She began.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I can't keep the jet. That poofing thing he did was REALLY kick ass though!" Daniel said interrupting Starglide. "On the other hand. The rule of finder's keeper's; loser's weeper's still applies don't it?"

"I'm thinking that it would depend on what you found. I'm kinda feeling like the Lady here and havin doubts about ANYTHING you do!" SecDef Keller stated doubtfully.

"What did you find, and why should we let you keep it?" Starglide asked curiously.

Barricade just slapped his right hand against his face and muttered softly.

"Would you care to repeat THAT? I don't think I heard you correctly!" Starglide demanded once more in anger as she rounded on her creation.

"I said he wants to keep the other one." Barricade said softly as he stared at the ground.

"OTHER ONE! What other one?" Starglide demanded as she rounded on Daniel even as Optimus demanded the same thing.

"Uh... That'd be... uh... THAT one!" Daniel said pointing towards the side of the hanger where Rockhammer was just striding forward.

"Now just outa curiosity there, youngin, what exactly would you do with a mech like me if'n ya DID get ta keep me?" Rockhammer demanded casually.

"Oh THAT'S an EASY one! I'd have you run interference to keep HER off my ass!" Daniel said with a grin as he pointed at Starglide.

"Sorry Cade!" Maigan suddenly called out before she whapped her uncle in the back of his head.

Both Daniel and Barricade grabbed the backs of their heads, and Barricade grinned at Maigan. "Believe me, I understand." He told the girl. "I think he deserves far more than that though."

"Oh, he's not the ONLY one! But I'll speak to you later. Right now, I plan on discussing his little attitude problem." Starglide stated seriously.

"Listen, Lady, my attitude does NOT have a problem!" Daniel commented with a snarky grin.

"Really? Just what makes you so firm in that belief when you continue to irritate and annoy EVERYONE around you?" Starglide demanded as she bent down to get optic to eye with the salvage operator.

"Simple. People leave me the hell alone. Which is EXACTLY the way I like it!" Daniel said with a genuine smile.

Starglide grabbed both sides of her head as she stood up in complete annoyed exasperation. "Don't kill him; he's just a sparkling. Do NOT kill him!" Starglide reminded herself in an ancient version of the Cybertronian language.

"If'n ya don't wanna kill him, then at least let me loan ya my razor strop so's ya can bust his butt a good one!" Rockhammer replied in the same language.

Without even pausing to think about what had just been said, Starglide immediately extended her left hand towards the big mech. "Hand it over. I'll return whatever's left when I get done." She said in English.

Daniel's eyes widened as he saw Rockhammer pass over the razor strop, and even though he hadn't understood a word of what the two had said; he easily recognized what was being passed along. Instantly his left hand shot out to reach under the smoke box of the BBQ pit and grab the modified crowbar that had been placed there during a previous use of the pit.

Starglide had fully expected and prepared herself for some type of angry reaction from the strange little annoying human, but her optics widened in disbelief as Daniel transferred a wickedly modified crowbar that had numerous serrated spikes on the hooked end to his right hand, and used his left to grab a two pound sledgehammer that had one side ground down into a nasty looking spike.

Daniel adjusted his grip on both the crowbar in his right hand and the sledgehammer in his left as he cocked his head first to the right, and then to the left cracking his neck in a loud series of pops. Then he looked back up at Starglide with a completely blank expression on his face.

"Oh, slag." Barricade muttered when he saw the situation.

"Damnit Daniel, don't you DARE!" Maigan yelled angrily as she stepped in between Daniel and Starglide and started trying to push her uncle back. When she saw that he wasn't cooperating with her the way he usually would she realized just how angry he'd gotten.

"GODDAMMIT! BOTH of you need to back off, now!" She said angrily.

She looked down at the human standing there, and she knew that there was no fear contained in the mind behind that seemingly blank expression. The gall of the human, the sheer ADAUCITY was astounding to her! Throughout the course of her life, there had been a very, very few bots who would dare to stand before her in such a direct and challenging manner. That this insignificant human could so boldly and casually do so was unthinkable. True, she had seen first hand how readily the man had attacked a medic who was sworn to avoid harming others if it was possible, but to stand and face her, a sniper of unparalleled excellence, the femme who had taught her creation the arts he'd used to become the foremost wet work specialist on Cybertron, but this was different, now he calmly stood there as if ready to send her to the matrix itself!

Red symbols of warning flashed their urgent messages in her HUD, some were programs which dictated that this human was no more than a recalcitrant sparkling, others strangely enough, indicated that this human was a potential threat. Her battle computer was actively analyzing the weapons in the human's hands, and began indicating various warnings in regard to those weapons. She knew that he had made them to use against other humans, and against such fragile bodies, they would prove more than lethal, because her battle computer was now illustrating various possible points of her frame on which those weapons could be used effectively.

Starglide knew that the others were observing, even as she knew that Ratchet and Bumblebee had just exited the hanger, but this was between her and the human. Her thoughts raced with the speed imparted by the activation of her battle computer, and as she studied the human, she realized that if this situation proceeded as indicated by the man's attitude that there was no way that this would end without violence. The human was far too stubborn to be cajoled or coerced, and too irate to heed any attempt at reason.

If she were to actually try to succeed with a type of corporal punishment that the human would no doubt find humiliating in the extreme, she could well find herself with an enemy that she dare not turn her back on. A much more likely outcome would be that she would severely injure or even kill the man, which was not desirable. Then there was a final possibility, in which he exploited his knowledge of her frame to cause crippling damage, before he too was critically injured. None of these outcomes were warranted, not over mere words. She had no intention of killing or even crippling him when all he needed was a different attitude, and certainly not in front of his niece.

Knowing that any sudden move would most likely provoke one of the outcomes that she DIDN'T want, Starglide slowly and deliberately leaned down to get closer to the human.

"You don't back down from ANYTHING do you?" She demanded.

"Never have. Never will." Daniel answered in a near growl.

"Your courage is admirable, although it is also EXTREMELY foolish! One day you shall learn what it truly means to provoke a Cybertronian, and when that day arrives, you will most sincerely wish that you had listened to me. I know far more than you think, and there is a reason that I was once the Air Commander of Cybertron. This war that the Decepticons have caused has cost us EVERYTHING, including our world, and if you would simply stop to THINK for just a moment, then you would realize that they plan to do the same to THIS one! The Decepticons have destroyed almost everything that I once held dear. My home, my sparkmate, and even my very WORLD are all dead now. I do not wish to see the same thing happen here. I will grant that thanks to your efforts and skills that I have been able to recover one of the few treasures I had in my life, but that does NOT excuse the way you are acting! WE are not your enemies! WE have not come to bring death and destruction to this planet. We are here to help, but we can't, unless YOU allow us to, and that can not happen when you are constantly antagonizing and provoking us!" Starglide said using a reasonable tone of voice hoping to get through to the irritating little man.

Daniel shook his head in disgust. "You know, everybody wants to blame shit on me. First of all, what happened between me and Barricade... was BETWEEN me and Barricade! It should have STAYED that way! Tackleberry should have kept his nose out of it. Oh wait... he don't have one. He should have kept his FACE out of it! We weren't botherin ANYBODY! And before you say anything, I'll bet half the copper in my junkyard that you don't ALWAYS get along just peachy keen with everybody. Now as far as those Decepticons go... they show up, and I'll have somthin for 'em. It may be illegal as all hell, but it'll damn sure get the job done! I didn't ask to get caught up in this crap, but I'm tryin to make the best of it, and if that ain't good enough for ya, then there's the road... USE IT!" Daniel said angrily as he turned back to his pit.

Seeing that the two were now talking instead of facing off and getting ready to kill each other Maigan decided to back out of the mess while she could. She'd only taken a few steps when she found herself being grabbed and lifted off the ground by a fairly large gray hand.

"Might be best ta stay outa that mess for a bit." Jazz told her softly as he too stepped back to get the girl out of any possible line of fire.

Starglide looked down at Daniel in mild surprise. She had rather prepared herself for some type of hostile response from him, but the angry if reasonable reply, seemed out of place somehow.

She was about to say something further, when a strange sensation drew her attention over to the mech that Daniel had brought to the base.

To unexpectedly learn that everything one had believed in, relied on, strived for, along with the very world one loved and called home was forever gone, was a truly devastating blow and the expression on the mech's faceplates told of his sudden loss very well.

Starglide felt her spark sink as she realized that this mech who somehow seemed familiar had known absolutely NOTHING about the current state of Cybertron.

"You didn't know about the war; did you?" Starglide asked him gently.

"D… Daniel told me there was a war going on, and that the youngin Skywarp was a Decepticon, but he didn't… didn't." Rockhammer began, but the rest of his words were lost in a voiceless silence as he was unable to finish.

"I'm sorry, Rockhammer. I didn't want you to learn about this like that. That's why I only mentioned the war. You might wanna have a seat there Buddy, cuz the rest of it gets a HELL of a lot worse." Daniel said heavily.

Starglide watched in a bit of shock as the large mech sat down in a heap, in fact he'd nearly fallen, and she realized that somehow this mech hadn't been aware of ANYTHING that had occurred to start the horrid war. Then she realized the living embodiment of annoyance known as Daniel had somehow known that this would happen, and that he'd SOMEHOW shown enough compassion to want to break it to the mech slowly.

Author's notes. Please give a big Thanks to Vader's Bane! Beta, editor, sounding board, research specialist, and idea source; he's done it all, and me and these stinking plot demons couldn't have gotten this far without him!