Author's Notes: Michael Bay… If you hated the Transformers this much, then why in the HELL did you accept the position of Director for the movies? You almost KILLED my love of Transformers and I was reading the comics for several YEARS before the first series (G-1) ever hit the airwaves! Reviews are always appreciated and replied to if they are logged in, reviews are also inspiration! I don't know WHY my Plot Demons went on a vacation, but they seem to be back, and I plan to take full advantage of it!
"Oh Slag!" Barricade exclaimed in obvious dismay.
That sentiment was quickly echoed by Frenzy who burst out with what was apparently one of the few things he could say in English without stuttering. "Oh shit!"
"Soundwave?" General Mallory asked curiously. "Isn't that one of the ones that's supposed to be really dangerous?"
"Individual danger to Earth; neutralized. Frenzy's oath; also effective for this unit. Survival preferred. Defense of Earth now of paramount importance." Soundwave stated in a monotone that revealed nothing of what might be in his processors.
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Daniel was very glad that he hadn't eaten anything for breakfast as Starglide began moving into a rolling loop. Combining a barrel roll with a full loop was a maneuver that was physically impossible for a human pilot, but Starglide had no such physical limitations, because she had no blood to rush to a brain that she didn't have, nor could that nonexistent blood drain from a brain that didn't exist! Being unable to suffer a blackout, caused by blood leaving the brain, or a red-out caused by too much blood going to the brain, Starglide was doing the impossible! At least, she was doing what was impossible for a human pilot in a normal aircraft.
At the top of the loop, Starglide suddenly reversed the direction of her roll, and poured on the speed as she leveled out. She would have smiled had she been in her standard mode… actually, she would have been grinning from one audio to the other! She was really starting to enjoy the chance to stretch her wings a bit. She knew that she couldn't go all out; unless she made maximum use of the inertial nullification unit that all aerial frames had as a vital subsystem, because there was no way that the human in her cockpit would remain in one piece, forget about actually surviving!
Starglide was carefully keeping a set of sensors in constant use and had them focused on Daniel as she pulled off one humanly impossible maneuver after another. She could readily see that Daniel was having a blast as he cackled madly while she pulled one stunt after another. She hadn't forgotten what she had told Mikaela, not by any means! She was simply holding off on following through with that until she had gotten some very enjoyable air time in.
Starglide was running her diagnostics programs continuously as she constantly analyzed the way her newly rebuilt frame was responding. She was very pleased that so far, she hadn't encountered so much as a single problem or hitch. She spent more than an hour going through one maneuver after another, before she lowered the tolerance level on her inertial nullification systems just a touch. The result was that Daniel, who happened to be her only human passenger, began to feel some of the effects of the strenuous maneuvers. Within minutes, the salvage operator was beginning to get motion sickness.
Starglide ejected Daniel from her cockpit and gently caught him as she transformed in a high speed landing right in front of the observers who were a mixture of humans and mechs. She quickly put the man on the ground where he promptly fell to his knees, and began trying to heave up the nonexistent contents of his stomach.
The teens all started staring at Daniel with expressions of disgust on their faces, while the Air Force personnel were staring with open mouths in a state of shock while he spent more than twenty minutes try to heave up something that wasn't there.
"I'm glad he didn't eat anything, 'cause that's gross!" Glen exclaimed.
"Ha, ha. Looks like you made him puke his guts up Starglide." Maigan cackled. "Serves him right!"
"Forget the puking! I'd like to know how the hell he's even conscious after a flight like that!" Col. Anderson blurted out.
'She must have protected him somehow…' General Mallory thought while staring at the junkyard owner who was on his hands and knees trying to puke up something that wasn't there. 'Several of those stunts could have killed him.'
"Hey Junkman! Are you gonna be ready for the second round anytime soon?" Sgt. Epps teased with a grinning laugh.
"Yeah… just… just gimme a few minutes." Daniel answered breathlessly while still retching and gagging.
"Man… are you a glutton for punishment or something?" Epps demanded in disbelief when he heard the response.
Daniel finally sat up and looked over at the Specialist. "Nope! I just know one hell of a good ride when I get it… and let me tell you… that was one hell of a great ride!" He said with a weak, but wide grin.
"Well, Daniel, I'm glad you approve of my flying ability. However… I should warn you that I wasn't using my full capabilities! Next time we take a flight, I just might decide to find out exactly what my limits are in this atmosphere." Starglide warned with a merry chuckle.
To everyone's surprise, Daniel started laughing. "I think I'm gonna be lookin forward to that."
"Ornery little cuss, ain't ya?" Rockhammer muttered with a shake of his head.
"Yup! You better believe it! But ornery? Ornery? I'm a damned sight worse than that! I'm the most obnoxious, irritating, and annoying bastard on the planet, and I'm damned good at it too." Daniel shot back instantly.
"Oh, you can say that again." Sgt. Epps exclaimed fervently.
"Humph! Now that the pleasantries are over." Ratchet began as he stepped over to the femme, and started scanning her. "How well did your systems respond; what problems or errors did you notice?"
"As far as problems are concerned, there were none actually. Every system in my frame responded perfectly. There wasn't a single hesitation or glitch in anything. It's as if I was never damaged." Starglide answered quickly before she turned and knelt down to look at General Mallory. "I must express my sincere thanks for providing this type of aircraft for me to use as an alt mode. It's very maneuverable, quick, and exceedingly agile. Plus… it fits my frame size perfectly."
"Actually… I think I ought to be thanking you! I have never seen anything like that in my life, and it was a real pleasure to watch." General Mallory replied with a genuine smile.
"Sounds like you done some damned good work there Ladies!" Daniel exclaimed stepping up to Maigan, and Mikeala from behind and putting a hand on their shoulders while congratulating them.
"Them? I do believe that I had something to do with her repairs as well, you know!" Ratchet groused.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah! All you did was stand back and supervise. They are the ones who provided the fine touches with the welders, and soldering irons! That's why they get the credit!" Daniel retorted quickly while looking up at the medic.
"I seem to recall someone who used their own body as a conductor in order to help with my repairs." Starglide said seriously while shooting a hard look at the salvage operator.
Daniel looked up at the femme with a confused look on his face. "Really? What crazy assed fool did that?"
Instantly several people were laughing and snickering at the immediate response from the junkyard owner.
Starglide's optics went wide as she realized that she couldn't very well say that Daniel had been the one to do so without insulting the man who had worked to not only save her life, but restore her to functionality as well. It was not what she had intended to do. As she stood there for a brief moment, gaping at the strange little human, he suddenly started laughing.
"Gotchya!" Daniel quipped with a wide grin.
Maigan didn't hesitate one second as she quickly whapped her uncle across the back of his head. "Sorry about that Barricade, but he needs it!"
"He needs more than that…" Barricade groused irritably as he rubbed the back of his head. "Do it again!"
Maigan reacted to the request before her uncle did, and quickly smacked him in the back of the head a second time.
"Hey!" Daniel exclaimed as he was hit the second time. "You stay out of this before I tow your clankin carcass back to my scrapyard an toss you in a pile with the rest of the junk." He snapped while shaking a finger at Barricade.
Barricade smirked in a wide grin as he stared down at Daniel, and nodded his head almost imperceptibly.
That was all it took for Maigan to smack her uncle a third time, and this time was much harder than the first two.
"Just remember, When dealing with me… you need vision in the back of your head, because you never know what methods I might employ to gain my revenge." Barricade warned in a sensuously sinister voice.
"Oh Primus! Here we go again!" Ratchet complained bitterly.
"Really? Where we goin?" Daniel piped up interestedly as he turned and looked up at the medic.
"What do you mean; 'where we going?'? We're not going anywhere." Ratchet retorted in angry confusion. "What the slag are you talking about now?"
"You just said 'here we go again', so… where we goin?" Daniel shot back with interest.
"No one is going anywhere that I'm aware of. There is too much to do in preparation for the landing tonight." Ratchet retorted in irritation.
"That ain't all you need to be concerned about. I spent several hours last night discussing a few things with Soundwave, and he's convinced me that once this ship of yours lands, that the Decepticons might attack in force to eliminate as many as possible before we can get things organized. He's come up with a list of personnel that are in the process of being transferred to this base. They'll be under the command of Captain Lennox even though most of them are from different military branches. Once they're brought up to speed, we should have a very effective combat team of humans in addition to the Autobots to deal with any problems. They got the transfer orders last night, so they'll be here shortly. I want them briefed, equipped, and ready to go ASAP." Sec Def Keller said firmly as he walked up. "Because I think Soundwave's right. If the Decepticons are going to hit us, then the best time for them to do it is while we're disorganized, and occupied with this landing. They might not know about it, and Soundwave doesn't think they do, but he isn't willing to take any chances, and quite frankly… neither am I."
"With all due respect Sir, I'd like to know exactly what kind of service members we're talking about. I've worked with my team for a long time, and the kind of trust and teamwork that we have isn't something that develops quickly. That kind of trust is only earned under fire or in hostile situations… a lot of hostile situations!" Capt. Lennox said somberly.
"I understand exactly what you're saying Captain. Soundwave gave me the personnel files of all the people that are being brought in. With the sole exception of a retired Colonel who'll be acting in an advisory capacity, all of 'em are experts in their respective fields. Every one of 'em are Special Forces members with combat credentials similar to yours." Keller began firmly.
"No offense Sir, but there is no one with combat credentials like ours!" Capt. Lennox interrupted.
"These folks may not have your experience in fighting Decepticons, but they're still as good as it gets. They'll be working with you and help in training troops from this base to fight the Decepticons when they show up. You'll be teaching them some things, and they'll teach you a trick or two. Make no mistake, they're in different branches of the Military, but that won't mean a thing, because they'll be under your command. You're the one with first hand experience at this, and with all of 'em being professionals, they'll respect that." Sec Def Keller said bluntly.
"That, I can agree with Sir. As long as my men and I aren't shoved under the command of someone who hasn't got a clue as to what they'll be up against, I have no problems." Capt. Lennox replied readily.
"Inexperienced or unknowledgeable commander; likely to jeopardize troops via inappropriate commands; most probable outcome; failure." Soundwave said to Capt. Lennox as he approached. "Situation undesirable. Preferred outcome: success."
William Lennox breathed a sigh of relief. There were commanding officers who often stuck disparate groups together, and expected them to perform with no problems. What those commanders never took into account was the close rapport that developed between soldiers of a unit. Lennox had no problem putting his own life on the line, but he'd be damned if he was going to put his men in a situation where they could be killed because of a superior's ignorance. Then, he looked up at the rather large black mech approaching the group. He took note of how Ratchet instantly tensed up, but that Rockhammer, Barricade, and Starglide were still at ease. He couldn't help but note how this supposedly dangerous mech was very leery and kept some distance from the other bots. What had been a somewhat jovial gathering, had now become a rather tense situation.
"Damn! Looks like you can kill a good mood even faster than I can. I think I'm gonna like you." Daniel said with a grin as he looked up at the newcomer.
"I think you like anything dangerous enough to kill you. It only proves that you are completely glitched!" Barricade told Daniel with a grin.
"Shut up, Junk heap. I wasn't talkin to you anyways, I was talkin to the bad ass over there." Daniel retorted instantly.
Beneath his visor, Soundwave's optics shot wide in surprise. He'd often seen Barricade kill other mechs for insults of that nature, and he quickly looked over at the mech, because he was certain that such was about to happen again. To his total surprise, Barricade only laughed before responding with an insult of his own.
"Are my audio receivers working properly? Did that disgusting lump of meat say that it's attempting to hold a conversation? I'm surprised it has enough intelligence for that." Barricade retorted smoothly while speaking to no one in particular.
Daniel quickly turned his head to glare at the Enforcer. "Oh, I can hold down a conversation with no problem… provided there is someone around with enough intelligence for me to hold a conversation with! You, unfortunately, don't fall into that category. The reason for that is because you are a scrapped out pile of recycled junk, you were rebuilt from scrapped out and recycled junk, and you'll always be scrapped out recycled junk! You dumb rust bucket!" He finished with a shake of his head.
"That might well be true… but I'll still live and function much longer than you will. Why is that? I'll tell you… it's because you began to rot and decay the moment you were born!" Barricade retorted quickly.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Daniel muttered sarcastically as he stepped over to the black and white mech.
Daniel grinned sadistically and raised his right hand to motion Barricade to come closer. When the mech leaned down, Daniel quickly punched him right between the optics at the base of his chevron with that same hand.
Instantly, both the mech and the demented salvage operator were shaking their right hands, and clutching at their faces with the left.
"Primus in a pit!" Barricade bellowed angrily.
"Why the slag would you dare him like that? You know he's glitched enough to do something like that even though he'll feel it too!" Ratchet commented with a slight chuckle of disbelief.
Soundwave didn't say anything, but he was thinking a lot.
'According to the information I received from Frenzy, those two now share a spark bond. That must be why Barricade tolerates being insulted in such a fashion, because he has never done so before. That is also the human who provided Frenzy with coffee out of his own supply.' Soundwave's train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the human's voice.
"Holy fuggin shit!" Daniel exclaimed as he caught sight of what was approaching. He didn't notice that many of the bots, including Soundwave tensed up at his exclamation, because he was too focused on what he saw.
"Here Kitty, kitty, kitty. Big Bad-Ass Kitty!" Daniel called out with a large and still spreading grin while shaking the pain out of his right hand.
It was with no small amount of concern that Soundwave noted the approach of Ravage, and hoped that he would not have to intervene to save his cassette.
Daniel walked towards the huge metal panther looking bot with wide eyes, and a huge grin on his face.
"Ha, ha, ha. Co-co-Coffee-man likes Ravage!" Frenzy cackled over a can of Mean Bean.
Daniel looked over at Frenzy with a stupid expression on his face. "You know this bad ass metal kitty?" He asked in disbelief.
Frenzy nodded his head with a snicker as he watched the demented salvage operator move closer to his fellow cassette. "R-r-r-Ravage is m-my s-s-si-sis-sister."
Daniel shot a suspicious glance at the spastic little mech he was starting to like before looking back at the large metal feline creature in front of him.
"That is your sister?" Daniel asked looking at Frenzy in disbelief while pointing at Ravage. "You lucky fucker…. On the other hand… how many times has she used you for a chew toy?"
Frenzy snickered loudly and shook his head. "R-ra-Ravage is m-my si-si-sister. We pro-protect ea-each other."
"I doubt that very seriously! That Bad Assed kitty probably does all the protecting while you sit back and laugh at the poor bastard who's getting their ass handed to 'em after it's chewed off!"
Frenzy started laughing so hard that he almost sat down.
"Actually, Frenzy does a fair amount of the provoking, and then Frenzy, Ravage and their other siblings multi team the bot in question. Between the group of them, they generally tend to give a lot more than they get! They may be small, even compared to humans, but do not underestimate how dangerous they can be. There are numerous dead Decepticons who made that as a final mistake. Besides, if they get in over their heads, there's always Soundwave to deal with, and I haven't met a bot yet who isn't at least wary of him. Most are outright… terrified… and with very good reason!" Barricade warned with a smirk. "Soundwave is devastating in combat! Why do you think I make sure to stay on his good side? Because I've seen him fight!"
"So let me get this straight. You start talking trash, and when the other guy gets pissed enough to do something, you and the rest of the gang team up and beat the livin shit out of him. Is that right?" Daniel asked Frenzy with a grin.
"Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah! S-s-slag fest!" Frenzy cackled as he raised the can of Mean Bean to his metallic mouth and drank some.
Daniel looked back at Barricade with a wide grin on his face. "I think I'm gonna be hangin around them from now on. They sound like a lot more fun than you… scrap heap."
"Good! Then I won't have to deal with you anymore." Barricade exclaimed in satisfaction.
"Well for right now, you'll have to deal with him, and unfortunately… so will the rest of us, because we've got to come up with some viable ways for human soldiers to make a difference." Keller told Barricade as he motioned everyone back to the hanger.
"You folks might as well grab some refreshments cause I'm pretty sure this might take a while." Keller said frankly as one of his aides continued laying out numerous folders for everyone to look at.
Frenzy was debating which flavors of Java Monster he wanted to take to the table. There were several flavors that he liked, but he just couldn't decide which ones he wanted. That was the dilemma he was facing when he heard someone approach from behind.
Daniel walked up to the spastic little mech who was staring at the glass door refrigerator like he was lost. "What's wrong?"
"S-s-s-so mu-much b-b-b-bean juice! So little time!" Frenzy sputtered irritatedly.
Daniel chuckled as he grabbed a Russian and a Mean Bean out of the vendor style cooler. "See? That's why you need an ice chest, so you can load up on some of each. Grab one of mine over by the hangar door." He grinned.
It didn't take Frenzy long to gather three of each kind of Java Monster in the cooler, and he grabbed a few of the Starbucks Frappucinos while he was at it. He took the ice chest over to the table and sat next to Daniel on the opposite side of his niece.
No sooner had Frenzy taken his seat than SecDef Keller cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Is everyone ready?"
There were nods all around the table and a few spoken assents, and Keller nodded. "Good. In front of you are several personnel folders. They contain the files on the service members who are being assigned to this base and will work with the Autobots in addition to the U.S. Government to repel any Decepticon attacks or incursions. I'm not asking for opinions, I just want you to familiarize yourselves with the people who'll be arriving shortly."
Everyone spent several minutes leafing through the folders, and while some could make no sense of the information, the rest were nodding their heads in approval. It wasn't long before all of the files had been looked over by everyone who was gathered.
"I have a few questions about this advisory consultant, Allen Schaefer… what exactly is he supposed to be doing for us?" Captain Lennox asked seriously.
"Soundwave; unable to access several sections of Colonel Schaefer's file. Conclusion extremely classified credentials." Soundwave stated factually.
"Holy slag! If Soundwave couldn' get to 'em, then tha means those files are so highly classified that they only exist in hard copy or on a stand alone system. There ain't a system anywhere that can hide something from him!" Jazz exclaimed in surprise.
"I'm forced to agree with Jazz… if there's something that's being successfully hidden from Soundwave then it has to hold incredibly sensitive information. The question is… what?" Barricade added quickly.
"We know that Megatron was here on Earth for a long time, therefore, it is possible, however unlikely that this Colonel Schaefer might have encountered other Cybertronians while the Decepticons were searching for their leader." Optimus broke in thoughtfully.
"Location of Earth; logged and available prior to current situation. Reason; unknown." Soundwave interjected. "Suspicion; possible Decepticon activity on this planet prior to now."
"Well I guess that says it all, now doesn't it?" Captain Lennox asked irritably of no one in particular.
"So… what if the stuff is classified like that for some other reason? I mean… what if he had to find a nuke that was in terrorist hands or something, and it has nothing to do with the Autobots or Decepticons?" Maigan asked with a shrug.
"If he's in possession of information that has nothing to do with our current situation, then he is not to be asked about it! Just bringing up that you know something in his personnel file is missing could be justification for him to kill you if the information is that sensitive, and you don't have the security clearance to know about it. I haven't encountered any situations like that, but it can certainly happen. The best way to find out is going to be to introduce him to our friends, and then ask him if he has any information about them. If he does, then fine… but if he doesn't… then we don't ask him about it!" Captain Lennox stated firmly.
"The only person who can ask what he knows without any kind of without some kind of trouble is SecDef Keller, because he's the only one here with complete clearance! So everyone else just needs to keep their mouths shut… understand?" Lennox demanded while glancing at the civilians sitting at the grouping of tables, and looking pointedly at Daniel.
That particular look wasn't lost on the salvage operator, and he adopted an expression of wounded innocence. "What are you lookin at me for? I ain't opened my mouth about anything."
"He's probably looking at you because he thinks you're just crazy enough to open your mouth about something you shouldn't. Even though I know you don't blab secrets." Maigan piped up quickly.
"Well, I know for a fact that he'll keep his mouth shut on something like that." Keller stated firmly.
"With all due respect Sir… can you be certain of that?" Lennox asked.
"Yeah, I can. I won't say what it was, but he demonstrated that he planned on keeping secrets from the Autobots about something that seriously concerned them. So surprisingly, I don't think we'll have to worry about Daniel in this case." Keller replied in a wry tone.
"I too am well aware of how Daniel is able to keep things to himself." Starglide added quickly.
"That is something I must also agree with." Optimus said quietly.
"Okay… let me get this straight. How the hell are you one to keep secrets?" Sgt. Epps asked suspiciously.
"It's actually pretty simple really. As obnoxious as I am… what friends do I have that I can tell?" Daniel replied with a smug grin.
"I have to admit; he's got a damned good point on that one." Gen Mallory said with a slight chuckle while shaking his head.
Maigan shook her head for a moment as she tried to wrap her mind around her uncle's statement. Then she gave up and settled for smacking him in the back of his head.
Daniel rubbed the back of his head while glaring at his niece. "I didn't deserve that." He said quietly. Maigan just shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention back to the meeting.
"Okay so the one person that I figured would be a problem isn't going to be; that's a relief. Now, what other business do we need to deal with?" Capt. Lennox asked with a brief nod.
"Well I got one question. Not really important, but still…" Sgt. Epps spoke up after waiting to see if anyone else would.
"Okay let's hear it." Keller said simply.
"Well, we got Army, Federal Agents, Civilians, and Extra-Terrestrials involved in this, and a little later, we're gonna have some Canadians, Navy, and Marines in here too… so what are we gonna call it? Are we Army… Marines or what?" Epps asked with a puzzled look.
"Good question! What exactly is this mess we done found ourselves in?" Daniel asked as he held up a Java Russian in a toast before taking a large gulp that drained a fourth of the can.
Suddenly Daniel was looking to his left at Frenzy who was alternating sips from four different kinds of Java Monster. "Now I'm jealous." He whispered in awe.
"Well… whatever we decide to call this group, it will have to be something that stipulates that this is not strictly a U.S. operation. We are now an interstellar and international organization. Because somehow I don't think that those Decepticons are going to stick to hitting U.S. soil." Agent Bannacheck said with a frown.
"In that case… How bout 'Notorious Hell Raisers', will that work?" Daniel asked with a grin.
Maigan didn't hesitate as she smacked her uncle in the back of his head. "This is serious, so stop with the jokes." She said in a huff.
"What about 'Non-nationalized Terrestrial Strike Team'?" Master Gunnery Sergeant James Romero suggested.
"Not a bad suggestion, but if we can find a second word that begins with 'E', then we can call it N.E.S.T. which stands for 'Nuclear Emergency Strike Team'. We have one, the Brits have one, and so do the Russians. Those teams are authorized to operate anywhere in the world by U.N. charter. It's in case a nuke does end up in the hands of terrorists, or ends up in the open with no Government to control it." Capt. Lennox said with a nod.
"Well then what about 'Non-nationalized Emergency Strike Team'?" Maigan asked. "Would that work?"
"Actually, that would work! Nice thinking young lady!" Keller exclaimed with a grin.
"Hey… somebody's got to have some brains around here!" Daniel spoke up.
"Well that eliminates you." Barricade smirked.
"Sure does. In a heart beat!" Daniel agreed with a grin.
There were a few disbelieving snickers around the tables, while nearly everyone was shaking their heads.
Ratchet grinned along with everyone else, but for a much different reason. He had finally figured out a chemical formula that would be completely harmless to humans while effectively blocking the absorption and use of caffeine by the human body for a full twenty four hours, and he had the components on hand! He smirked to himself as he strode over to the coffee urn and mixed a cup of coffee the way he'd seen Daniel make it the day before, the only difference was that this time, he'd added the caffeine blocker that he came up with. Ratchet set the cup down in front of Daniel, and walked off without saying a word. He was going to put an end to that much caffeine use one way or the other!
