Finding Home
Chapter 40
By Voodoo Queen
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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! Holy wow! I can't believe this is the 40th chapter. I hope you guys don't mind the length. There's so much that I want to do with this story and I'm trying to take my time so I can get it all in. I have to take care of some "housekeeping items" so we can move along...so, this chapter is one of those. It goes without saying that I'm thankful for all of you who've stuck this out with me so far...I love you guys! I know Amy and the twins love you, too. Thanks to my reviewers on the last chapter: Deimoss, monkeybaby, SunnyandSidesFemme17, HalfwayParanoid, "Guest", "Anonymous", jellybeanz513, shizzlethis1, and SoundlyManners.
Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, just my own original characters and plot.
Now...more fluff and other stuff!
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"This is such a bad idea," Amy told herself for what felt like the millionth time as she sat on the end of her bed staring at the packed bag that rested at her feet.
It had taken three days of virtually non-stop begging and pleading, mostly on Sideswipe's end of things, but the twins had finally managed to wear her down enough to get her to agree to their proposal. They'd managed to strike a compromise of sorts. She'd agreed to Sideswipe's proposed week long trial with certain stipulations. She wouldn't give up her room in the barracks despite Sunstreaker's insistence that she wouldn't need it any more. She was only bringing with her what she'd need for a week and nothing more regardless of Sideswipe's belief that it would be better to bring all her things with her because she wouldn't want to go back. They were obviously going into the situation full of optimism and were of the mindset that, despite the temporary nature of their agreement, that this would be a permanent arrangement.
She wished she could feel so certain about things but, given her history, she was handling it the best way she knew how. She tried to keep her expectations realistic. Worst-case scenario was that she'd spend a week with them, it would suck, she'd go back to her room, and things would continue on the way they had been. If it didn't suck, well, she tried not to think beyond the next week. The very worst thing was to have high hopes only to have them dashed when something went wrong. She was trying hard to avoid the pitfalls of negativity but this was one situation where she felt it best to err on the side of caution.
Other than the aforementioned conditions of her stay, she'd also made it clear that she didn't feel comfortable staying in their room alone on the nights they both had overnight duties to attend to. It felt like an invasion of privacy in her mind and she'd much rather sleep in the barracks than alone in their quarters with neither of them there. They'd put up the most fight over that particular point with Sunstreaker informing her that it was the "most fragging ridiculous" thing he'd ever heard and Sideswipe insisting that it was as much her space as it was theirs' and that she had just as much of a right to be there as they did. They wanted her to feel at home and at ease in their new living arrangements and were trying very hard to put her misgivings to rest.
She appreciated the sentiment but just couldn't shake the feeling that she was somehow invading their space. Again, she supposed it probably had to do with how much she'd been shuffled around as a child. It was hard to get comfortable someplace and think of it as your own when the very real possibility of having it taken from you loomed over your every waking moment. Despite her best efforts at being positive that was something that she hadn't yet managed to reconcile. They hadn't been thrilled with the idea of the occasional night spent at the barracks but they'd eventually relented when it became clear she wasn't going to budge on the subject.
The details had finally been hashed out but she found that she still had reservations. Not knowing where else to turn in such matters, she'd gone to Jazz for advice. It was strange at first. Not uncomfortable but just...strange. She wasn't used to having someone she could go to just to talk about what was on her mind. She supposed she was fortunate that Jazz was so approachable and easy to talk to. She didn't think she would have had the nerve otherwise. She'd come to rely on the mech's presence to an extent she hadn't even realized until just then. She'd expected him to have words of wisdom that would put everything into perspective, perhaps even strengthen her own fears regarding how terribly it could all go. He'd done nothing of the sort, however.
He'd certainly cautioned her. Advised her on how the situation could be viewed by those unfamiliar with Cybertronian culture and customs...namely, her fellow humans. Keeping a low profile was best. These were things she'd already been worrying about and not just for her own sake. She still found herself worrying over the impact her presence had on the twins. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to live with herself if they came under fire because of her. The last thing she wanted was to cause them any undue hardship. In the end, however, Jazz had simply encouraged her to to go with her spark/heart.
"This isn't somethin' I can decide for ya, scraplet." Jazz had smiled as he'd ruffled her hair affectionately. "Ya need to do what feels right for you. I will say this, though," he'd looked at her sincerely. "Those two think the absolute world of ya and I can't think of anywhere safer that I'd rather ya be than with the two of 'em."
It hadn't been the decisive yes or no she'd been looking for but it had still done wonders for her confidence and perspective. She wasn't going to lie. Despite her misgivings the prospect of staying with them did hold an inherent appeal. She was hesitant to put a label on what she felt for the twins but she knew that she'd much rather be with them than be without. Truth be told, her doubts mostly swirled around outside factors and had little to nothing to do with the twins themselves. She'd stopped doubting their sincerity and authenticity. She'd learned that when it came to them, you pretty much got what you see. They certainly weren't shy about sharing what was on their minds and, so far as she knew, they'd been nothing but upfront and honest with her and she'd eventually been persuaded to at least give them a chance in this, as well.
Her watch beeped letting her know that it was time. With one final look around the room to ensure she'd gathered all her essentials, she slowly stood and retrieved her bag from the floor. She swung the strap over her shoulder with one hand while simultaneously checking to ensure that she had her key card and military ID with the other. Reassured that she did, in fact, have everything she needed, she briskly left the room before she could change her mind and locked the door behind her before heading straight for the elevator.
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It was a typical Friday night on Diego Garcia. Most non-duty personnel were either heading back to the barracks to relax or over to the chow hall to catch dinner. Those feeling more adventurous and energetic were taking advantage of the lovely weather to get in a little exercise or see what MWR had to offer in terms of entertainment. Regardless of their planned activities, all were looking forward to the weekend as a break from their duties and a chance to relax and unwind from yet another hectic week. Sideswipe was looking forward to the weekend more than most and had been waiting, albeit none too patiently, for the work day to end.
Thankfully, the addition of the Allspark shard to their list of responsibilities had created an 'All Hands on Deck' type of scenario in order to provide for the watch rotation. Bumblebee had been forced to extend his stay on base much to the displeasure of the human he'd been tasked with protecting. The kid had apparently had a conniption fit of epic proportions upon learning that his 'car' was now stationed on the other side of the planet until further notice. Apparently, in his mind, the ability to drive around and look cool was more important than planetary security. Regardless, the scout's presence meant an extra body on the roster which had worked out perfectly for Sides and his brother as they were both duty free all weekend. It was the perfect opportunity for them to set the next phase of their domestic plan in motion.
He felt almost giddy, truth be told. This was a huge step for he and Sunny and it was important to them both to get everything just right. They'd never been this deep or this invested in a relationship before. Funny that it should be with someone outside of their own species but he'd long since stopped caring about that little glitch in the program. It didn't really matter, at least not to them. It had always been just the two of them after their creators had passed. They'd never lived with anyone else. The longest they'd ever entertained anyone in their humble abode back on Cybertron had only been a night or two. Even then they hadn't been too worried about whether or not their company had found the place to their liking. They'd been too heavily engaged in other activities to care. This time was different.
"I told you we should have asked for better accommodations," Sideswipe had lamented to his brother as the two had stood just inside the doorway to their quarters, surveying the space with critical optics. "This place is so small..."
"She's small," Sunstreaker corrected. "We just need to rearrange some of this slag. It'll be fine. Here," he pressed an old shipping crate into his brother's hands. "Hold this."
Sides clutched the container to his chest and obediently followed his brother around the room as he began chucking unnecessary items into it and cleaning the small amount of clutter they'd accumulated since returning to base. He couldn't help but ask, "Do you think she'll stay? After the week is up, I mean?"
Sunny mumbled as he finished clearing space on their shelving unit, "Why wouldn't she?"
Sideswipe shrugged, "What if she doesn't?"
Sunstreaker stood up straight and glared at his brother for a moment before shaking his head and stalking to the other side of the room. "Help me move these berths."
It had taken some time and some imagination but they'd managed to arrange the space they'd been allotted into something they felt Amy would be comfortable with. With a bit of scrounging around and smooth talking they'd even managed to procure a couple pieces of human furniture. It wasn't much and they wished they could have done more. Given their situation, however, there was only so much they could do as the Autobots were mostly at the mercy of their host government. They hoped Amy could at least appreciate the effort and know how important this was to them.
So, it was with much nervous anticipation that Sideswipe had finally set off to the barracks to retrieve their femme. Though he would have liked nothing more than to skate right up to the front doors, in an attempt to be discreet he casually parked himself in the lot across from the building to wait. Given the secretive nature of what they were doing, he figured she'd appreciate the gesture. He was a bit early but his Ames was nothing if not punctual. He knew that she wouldn't keep him waiting long.
True to her nature, she'd come bounding out of the doors at exactly six thirty on the dot. Sideswipe felt his spark flare within its casing both in excitement and adoration when her eyes fell upon his alt form and a smile of greeting came to her lips. She crossed the street quickly and he took note that she had at some point changed from the uniform she'd been wearing earlier in the day and into civilian clothing. Her hair hung in loose, blond waves around her shoulders and had he been in his bipedal mode he would have loved to have run his fingers through the soft-looking strands. He settled for politely opening the driver's side door for her as she approached.
"Sweetspark," he greeted affectionately as she tentatively slid in behind the steering wheel. "You look amazing."
"Uh," Amy blushed as she carefully sat her bag down in the passenger seat. She glanced down at the pair of jeans and long sleeved gray t-shirt she'd thrown on. "Thanks, I, uh, I had to take a shower. I was grimy. I was busy blowing the dust out of all the computers this afternoon." She managed a nervous smile, "Really loving the air in a can, by the way. It's great stuff."
"Only the best for my favorite femme," Sideswipe chuckled. "If small canisters of pressurized gas make you happy, then I'm glad to have been of service."
Amy's smile widened to one of amusement and she relaxed back into the seat as the mech backed out of his parking space and guided them smoothly back out onto the street.
"So," he began conversationally, "I can't even begin to tell you how happy Sunny and I are that you agreed to try this. We're really looking forward to it. Seriously. What about you?"
"I still have my worries," she quietly admitted, "but, yeah. I'm...I'm looking forward to it, too."
"It's going to be great," the mech assured as they crossed over to the other side of base and headed toward the hangar that doubled as the Autobots' housing. "You'll see. Everything's going to work out fine."
They continued on in a comfortable, companionable silence. Sideswipe was focused on the road while Amy was content to sit back and watch the scenery roll by. It was about another five minutes before they rolled smoothly to a stop outside of the hangar. Sideswipe popped the driver's door open for Amy to exit. Once she was clear, he immediately began his transformation sequence and was soon standing on his own two wheels again.
Amy's eyes widened, "My bag..."
"I've got it," Sides grinned down on the woman and patted his hip. "Come on. Sunny's waiting on us."
Amy took a deep breath and sighed it out before nodding and following the mech into the building. It was just as she remembered it from the handful of times she'd been there but it felt different this time. More...official, she supposed. As she trailed Sideswipe along the corridor toward his and Sunstreaker's room, they ran into Mirage who was heading in the opposite direction. The mech seemed a bit surprised to see her as he stepped aside to let them pass, his optics widening slightly before narrowing once more. He lifted his chin and squared his shoulders.
"Mirage," Sideswipe greeted with a tilt of his head.
"Sideswipe," the mech replied in a short, clipped tone before casting his gaze to Amy. "Bella."
"Hello..." the word left Amy's lips in little more than a hoarse whisper.
Mirage frowned, "Where are you off to this stasera?"
"Not that it's really any of your business," Sides smirked, "But we're going home."
Mirage's optics widened once more as he looked at Sideswipe. "Andare a casa? Con lei?"
"Yup," Sides confirmed with a raised brow. "Is that a problem?"
"No," Mirage denied. "No problema." He looked back to Amy, a disapproving frown on his face plates. "Enjoy your evening, signorina."
"Th-thanks," Amy stuttered. "You, too."
"C'mon, Ames," Sideswipe gave the mech a pointed look and motioned for her to follow. "Places to go, people to see."
Amy nodded and they resumed their trek down the corridor. She couldn't help but cast a curious glance back over her shoulder. She was just in time to witness Mirage pull an expression of bafflement and shake his head in disapproval before turning and going his own way. Amy found herself frowning in response.
"What was that about," she couldn't help but ask, her curiosity getting the best of her.
"Who knows," Sideswipe shrugged. "Mirage is over torqued. He thinks he's above it all. He's used to having everything go his way and he can't understand when it doesn't. You can't pay attention to anything he says half the time."
"Oh," Amy's frown deepened, her thoughts swirling through all the conversations she'd already had with the Infiltrator. "Okay...if-if you say so..."
She tried her best to push the incident out of her mind. This was supposed to be exciting, a new adventure. It wasn't supposed to be a trip back through her insecurities. To occupy her wayward brain, she tried mentally map out their position in regards to both Jazz's quarters and the restroom...two places she felt were essential to know the locations of if she planned on being in the building for any significant amount of time. It must have worked because it seemed that it wasn't but a moment later that she found herself standing before the twins' door waiting for Sideswipe to key in the pass code.
"Home sweet home," Sides announced with a flourish as he pushed the door open and ushered her inside. "Ladies first."
"Thanks," she flashed him a small smile of appreciation and stepped inside.
"It's about fragging time," Sunstreaker looked up from where he'd been rolling up what appeared to be a large, canvas boat sail. He quickly stashed it at the top of the shelving unit and turned to face the pair. "What took you two so long?"
Sideswipe shrugged, "We took the scenic route...and ran into Mirage."
"Fragging trinket," Sunny rolled his optics before settling them on femme. "Squishie."
"Hi," Amy greeted, feeling heat rise to her face.
"Well," Sides excitedly encouraged the woman to look around, "What do you think, sweetspark? We cleaned the place up a little. Nice, right?"
Amy pulled her gaze away from Sunstreaker and allowed her eyes to survey the room. It seemed more spacious than it had the last time she'd been here. With good reason, she discovered. The entire room appeared to have been completely rearranged. Though it hadn't been messy before, everything seemed to have been condensed in a manner to free up as much space as possible. The makeshift table they'd had was no where to be found, the items it had previously harbored having been relocated to the shelving unit which had also been thoroughly reduced in the number of items it held leaving the two bottom shelves completely bare. Where the table had been sat a couch and a small end table with a lamp on it. She raised a brow at that but continued her inspection. Aside from the addition of human furniture, the most obvious change was that the twins berths had been shoved together and up against the very back wall creating the illusion that there was much more space than there actually was in the room.
"If there's anything you don't like," Sunstreaker interjected, "Let us know and we'll change it. If there's something you need, let us know and we'll get it."
A smile tugged at her lips, "This is just fine," she assured. "But you guys didn't have to go through all the trouble. It's only a week..."
"Oh, no," Sideswipe grinned and shook his head. "This is a 'No Negativity Zone'. It isn't just a week. It's the beginning of something beautiful. You'll see."
Amy felt the ever present staticky heat in her chest expand and her face flush.
Sunstreaker asked, "Where are your things?"
"Oh, uh..." Amy looked to Sideswipe.
"Right here." Sideswipe produced the small duffel bag seemingly out of thin air. He knelt and handed it to the woman.
"Thank you," she murmured as she accepted it from him.
Sunny looked perturbed. "That's it?"
"Yeah," Amy gave him a sheepish look. "I guess I've learned to travel light."
Sunstreaker nodded in understanding. "Well, Bee's intel on human females led us to believe you'd need a lot more space so we cleared these shelves for you so you could store all your things."
"Oh," Amy looked toward the shelves. "That's...thank you." She looked back to Sunny, curiosity plastered on her face. "Bumblebee's gathering intel on human females?"
"More like checking out that Witwicky kid's girlfriend," Sideswipe chuckled as he moved to sit on the end of the berth. He lifted his hands and waggled his fingers. "I hear she's quite mechanically inclined."
Sunstreaker made a sound of disgust and shook his head. "Fragging youngling..."
"Anyway," Sideswipe chuckled, "Friday's are usually movie nights over in the lounge. They get a copy of whatever big budget slag is playing in theaters and let us watch it. Usually it's something we've already downloaded ourselves and watched but," he shrugged, "it's something to do. We figured, though, since this is your first official night and all, that you'd want to get settled in and relax."
"Yeah," Amy agreed with a nod. "That's probably best."
It was a relief, really. Though she had a great deal of respect for all of the bots, considering some of them friends or, as in Jazz and the twins' case, even closer, she wasn't sure she was ready to subject herself or the twins to that kind of scrutiny just yet. True, they were all aware of their relationship but to be honest, Amy still felt a bit out of place. It was going to take some time to adjust to her new niche. She just hoped that in doing so she wasn't holding the two of them back.
"Give me your bag," Sunstreaker interrupted the woman's thoughts. He could practically see the gears in her head turning and it was far too early for second guessing. "I'll help you stow your gear."
Some of the tension seemed to melt from the woman's shoulders, and a relieved expression came to her face as she handed over the small amount of things she'd brought with her. "Thank you...I appreciate that."
Sunny smirked, "Anytime, Squishie."
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Amy sat cross-legged on the couch, hugging a pillow to her chest and looked at Sunstreaker incredulously, "So...you're telling me that the two of you basically carjacked a Decepticon to get here?"
"Helex is a bad neighborhood," Sunstreaker shrugged. He was across the room sitting atop the berth carefully rigging together what looked like some kind of large wooden frame, the purpose of which he'd churlishly declined to share with her when asked. "The fragger should have known better."
"Yeah, Ames," Sideswipe was sprawled out on the floor in front of the couch. He was stretched out on his stomach, his chin propped up on his hands, close enough that Amy could have reached out and bopped him on the nose had she wanted to. "If he didn't want anyone to take it, he shouldn't have left the keys in it. That's his bad."
"Besides," Sunny rumbled, "Do you have any idea how far Cybertron is from Earth? It's not like we could take a slagging bus."
Amy shook her head even as a small smile lifted the corner of her mouth, "You guys are completely crazy."
Sides reached out and nudged her on the leg with a finger, "In a good way, though, right?"
"Yeah," Amy stifled a laugh and nodded her head, "definitely in a good way."
Given that she hadn't brought much with her, it hadn't taken much time for her to more or less square herself away with Sunstreaker's assistance. The awkward nervousness of being in a new place, even though it was someplace familiar to her, had ebbed away much quicker than she would have thought. They'd fallen into their comfortable patterns of conversation easily and Amy found herself worrying less about the coming week and instead immensely enjoying her present company. It felt surprisingly domestic and Amy chided herself for thinking that it would feel weird or forced. This was Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, she reminded herself. She knew them. They were safe. She didn't need to be anyone other than who'd she'd always been.
"And done," Sunstreaker stood to admire the work he'd done on his mysterious wooden frame. "Chromoly steel would be better but it's my understanding wood is standard on this planet. Does this look square to you?"
Sideswipe looked up from where he lay and nodded, "Perfectly. Is it going to fit?"
"I measured," Sunstreaker assured as he moved to prop the strange frame up against the wall.
"Measured what?" Amy asked curiously, hoping to get a better idea of exactly what the mech was doing.
"Just something for a project I'm working on," he answered noncommittally as he moved back across the room, "Humans and their fragging curiosity."
Amy pouted in disappointment.
"If you hadn't noticed," Sideswipe appeased, "Sunny's a bit of a perfectionist. He doesn't like to talk about his projects until they're just right. It'll be worth the wait, though. They always are."
Amy opened her mouth to say more but was interrupted when her watch beeped. She looked to her wrist and frowned, "Wow, it's late."
Sides reached for her arm and gently pulled her arm over to where he could see. "Midnight," he gave her a lopsided grin as he released her and pushed himself up to sit. "I guess time really does fly when you're having fun, huh?"
"Yeah," Amy murmured in a answer. "I guess so."
"We should probably get some recharge," Sunstreaker suggested. "We've finally got a slagging weekend to ourselves and I'd prefer not to spend it all catching up on defrag."
Sideswipe nodded in agreement as he rose to his wheels. "Yeah, you're right." He turned his attention back to Amy. "So, we got you some bedding. We hope it's okay..."
"I'm sure it will be fine..." Amy watched as the mech moved to the shelving unit and began to pull down blankets and pillows. Fresh anxiety began to churn in her gut. She knew she'd stayed overnight with them twice before but it had been more due to accidental circumstances than any real conscious decision on her part. She hadn't meant to fall asleep. This time, however, she was choosing to do so of her own free will and it was completely nerve wracking for some reason. It only became more so when he breezed right by her, ignoring her outstretched arms to accept the items, and proceeded to arrange his bundle of bedclothes in the middle of the berth.
Amy frowned, "Uh...the couch is fine. Really. I don't want to be in the way..."
"What?" Sides turned and shook his head. "You're not going to be in the way." He gestured to the berth. "The great thing about these is that they're modular. If you need more space you can just snap them together. There's plenty of room. We're not going to make you sleep on the couch. What kind of mechs do you think we are?"
"I, uh..." Amy tried a different avenue. "I don't want to get smashed in my sleep? No offense..."
Sunstreaker snorted, "We're not going to smash you, Squishie. You've slept with us before and lived to tell about it."
Amy immediately felt heat creep up into her face at Sunny's chosen wordage. Though, she admitted, he wasn't wrong. She sighed, "Yeah..."
"That settles it then," Sideswipe said with an air of finality as he put the finishing touches on his nighttime preparations. He turned and looked at Amy expectantly. "Well?"
Confused, Amy asked, "What?"
He raised a brow, "Don't humans have special clothes that they sleep in?"
Amy swallowed, "Um, pajamas?"
"Yeah," Sides nodded. "Those. Aren't you going to change?"
"Um..." Amy looked bashfully between the mechs, worrying her lower lip between her teeth.
Sunstreaker rolled his optics, "Oh, for Primus' sake." He turned his gaze to the ceiling and shuttered his optics, slapping a hand over them for good measure. "Sides..."
"Oh, right," Sideswipe grinned cheekily and pivoted on his wheels to face the opposite direction. "I promise, no peeking."
Amy took a moment to study the pair to ensure they weren't looking and then proceeded to change her clothes faster than she ever had before in her entire life. She didn't think she'd ever dressed herself so fast, not even for General Quarters or a Man Overboard drill. She took another brief moment just to look herself over and make sure she was presentable before announcing, "I'm done."
Sunstreaker dropped his hand and looked at her for a moment, studying this strange, new attire, before quickly bending and scooping her up off the floor causing her to squeak in surprise. Just as quickly, he'd deposited her atop the berth. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
As soon as her world stopped spinning, Amy shook her head in the negative and quickly moved to the center of the berth where Sideswipe had created what looked like a small nest for her and quickly snuggled herself down into it trying to be as small and inconspicuous as possible. It was surprisingly comfortable.
Sunstreaker followed suit, climbing into the berth and settling on his back. He vented tiredly and tucked his hands behind his head, gazing up to the ceiling. "Sides...lights."
"Got it," came the mech's reply and an instant later the room was bathed in darkness.
Amy felt herself automatically tense. The realization that this was real and actually happening made her feel almost giddy with nerves. She certainly had never pictured herself in a situation even remotely like this when she'd been transferred. She doubted that she even possessed the imaginative capabilities to even dream something like this up herself. As such, when Sideswipe slid into the berth on her other side, she had to tamp down the urge she felt to cackle like a mad woman.
"This is so awesome," Sideswipe rumbled quietly. He was propped up on his side, looking down at the wide-eyed woman next to him. "Being able to see you like this."
Amy had hoped they'd simply get into bed and...turn off? Power down? Go into standby mode? She wasn't really sure how their sleep/recharge cycles worked. Apparently, it wasn't meant to be. To spite herself, she raised a brow in question at the mech's comment.
"I mean," Sides clarified as he reached out and carefully ran a finger along a lock of hair that had spread itself out over her pillow, "Usually when we see you you're in uniform with your hair bound up all tight." He moved to touch her again, this time tracing the tip of his finger lightly down the side of her face. "You look...more relaxed this way. If I haven't told you lately, you're beautiful, sweetspark."
"Right," Amy scoffed, thankful that the room was dark and the shadows helped camouflage her face which she was sure was fire engine red at this point. "You obviously need to get off this island more."
"What?" Sideswipe chuckled. "You don't believe me?" He looked to his twin, "Sunny, back me up here?"
"Symmetry is naturally very pleasing to the optics." Sunny turned onto his side to look at the woman. He hooked a finger beneath her chin and turned her head to face him. "You're very...symmetrical."
"Thanks," Amy croaked. "I think..."
Sunstreaker propped his head up in his hand and studied the woman for a moment. She lay rigid and unmoving, a far cry from the soft, pliant mass she'd been the previous times she'd accidentally slept over. With a heavy sigh, he asked, "Are you alright, Squishie? You look a little...stiff."
"Yeah..." Amy answered slowly, her eyes focusing on the otherworldly glow of the mech's optics in the darkened room. "Sorry. I guess...uh, I guess I'm kind of nervous. I've never done anything like this before with anyone. Sharing living space, I mean."
"There's no reason to be nervous," Sides soothed. He took the opportunity to scoot closer and nuzzled his face into her hair, enjoying the softness. "It's just us, Ames. It's not like we're strangers. If it makes you feel any better, we've never done anything like this before either."
Amy's brow furrowed, "Really?"
"Really," Sideswipe assured. "We're all figuring it out together."
"Huh..." Amy chewed her bottom lip as she turned that bit of info over in her head. "That's...surprising."
Sunny cocked a brow, "Why's that?"
Amy shrugged, "I don't know. It's just...you guys have been around a lot longer than I have..."
Sunstreaker pressed, "Yeah...so?
"So..." Amy swallowed nervously, "I figured you guys would have to have been in some kind of a relationship at some point, right?"
Sunny snorted, "Nothing serious that you need to be worried about. Relationships have never really been our thing."
Amy blinked and swallowed hard, "They haven't?"
"Nope," Sideswipe confirmed. "Not until recently."
"Oh..." Amy mulled that over for a moment. "But I thought..." she shook her head. "Never mind."
"No," Sunstreaker disagreed. "You thought what?"
Amy denied, "It's not important."
"It is if it's bothering you," Sunny insisted. "Out with it, Squishie."
"You can tell us anything, Ames," Sides encouraged, snuggling closer, placing a hand on her hip and giving the woman a careful squeeze. "No judgment."
"I heard..." Amy started.
"You heard?" Sunstreaker immediately interrupted. Suspicious, his optics narrowed. "You heard from who?"
"Does..." Amy fidgeted, loathe to put anyone's name out there. "Does it matter?"
"Yes," the yellow front liner insisted. "It does." A growl left his vocalizer, "It was Mirage, wasn't it?"
"Sunny..." Sideswipe could feel his brother becoming agitated through their bond. He didn't want Amy's first official night with them to turn into an all out war over whatever the affluent mech may or may not have said to their detriment. "Let's hear her out before you get all worked up..."
"Fine," he grit out through grit denta. "What kind of slag has that rusty tailpipe been spewing this time?"
"N-nothing," Amy stuttered, trying to find a delicate way to phrase what was on her mind without pouring more fuel on to what could easily become a raging fire. "Just that you guys kind of have the reputation of being kind of...indiscriminate when it comes to stuff like this."
"Indiscriminate?" Sideswipe turned the word over as if he were having trouble relating it to their current situation. He shook his head, "No, Ames...sweetspark, it's not like that. I mean, I'm not going to lie to you. We definitely weren't hermits or anything like that but nothing we were ever involved in ever really worked out or was really worth pursuing."
Both curious and concerned, Amy asked, "Why...why not?"
"One of the pitfalls of being a twin," Sideswipe shared. "Everyone's curious but once the novelty wears off..." he shrugged his shoulders. "How's that human saying go? We're not everyone's cup of tea?" He chuckled, "I guess it's more than most people want to take on."
"Oh," Amy breathed the word out softly. "I see..."
"I'm going to break his fragging face," Sunstreaker muttered finally, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the berth. "I'm going to go drag his useless aft out of his berth and I'm going to break his fragging face."
Sideswipe, too, sat up as his brother rose to pace restlessly along the side of the berth. He shot a glance to Amy who'd also sat up and was looking absolutely mortified and more than a little guilty. This was not how he'd pictured his first official family night. "Sunny..."
"No," the mech snapped. "Don't 'Sunny' me. I told you. I told you that fragging trinket was too full of himself to stay out of our business." He demanded of Amy, "What else has he been saying?"
"N-nothing!" Amy felt tears prick at her eyes, "I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start any trouble."
"Oh, no," Sides immediately moved to comfort the woman, wrapping one hand around her middle and pulling her over into his lap, blankets and all. "It's not you, sweetspark, I promise. We've been having this go around with Mirage since, well...for as long as we've known him. Sunny's just a little sensitive..."
"Sensitive?" Sunstreaker stopped moving, looked at his brother, and growled. "That piece of scrap is telling her we just go around fragging anything that moves and Primus only know what else! How do you think that looks to her?" He focused on the woman, "Do you believe that slag?"
"I, uh...no!" Amy denied, "It's just...you asked!"
"Right." Sunny sneered as he began pacing once more, "He's a dead mech."
"Sunny," Sides vented. "It's been a good night. Let's not ruin what's left of it over Mirage of all things. We're here. Ames is here. Everything else can wait till morning."
Amy nodded vigorously in agreement. "Please," she pleaded. "Just...come back to bed. It's-it's not a big deal, really. Please?"
Sunstreaker halted in his movement and turned to look at the small femme. He studied her hard for a long moment, as if he were just seeing her for the first time. Another thirty seconds ticked by before he finally vented heavily and collapsed back down to sit on the side of the berth, his head in his hands. "Frag me," he uttered.
"Sunny..." Sides started but the other mech shook his head, silencing him.
"You don't have a fragging clue what any of this spark slag means beyond the scraps Ratchet's been feeding you." Sunstreaker's comment was obviously aimed at Amy. "You have no idea what this is like..." he trailed off, dropping his hands to clench them into fists on top of his thighs.
Amy turned her head to gaze up Sideswipe who gave her a poignant look in return. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth nervously for a moment before carefully extricating herself from the tangle of blankets and slowly crawling her way back over to Sunstreaker's side of the berth. She sat there on her heels for a pause, uncertain of what to do, before simply reaching out and placing her hand on the mech's forearm causing him to twitch slightly.
She took a deep breath, "I'm trying really hard to understand. I really am."
Sunstreaker kept his gaze straight ahead, not looking at her but did move to cover her hand carefully with his own. "I don't know what kind of scrap that trinket's been filling your head up with but, we're not using you. You're not slagging amusement. This isn't all fun and games for us."
Amy dipped her chin down and nodded her head, "I know."
"Do you?" Sunstreaker turned to face her. Tucking a finger beneath her chin, he lifted her head up. "Look at me."
Amy did as he asked. She gazed up into the blue glow of his optics. In the darkened room they seemed almost piercing, as if he weren't looking at her but rather into her. He studied her for a long moment in which time seemed to slow considerably. Amy felt the first prickling of self-consciousness begin to creep in but refused to look away. She sensed this moment was of the utmost importance and to do so had the potential to undo the hard work that had already been done. Her perseverance paid off and he eventually found whatever it was he'd been looking for.
Sunstreaker vented heavily and with the rush of warm air, some of the tension also left his frame. "Bright spark," he murmured, running the backs of his fingers along the side of her face.
Amy blinked up at him, "Are you okay?"
"I will be," he rumbled.
"Good," Sideswipe tried to inject some levity into the situation. "If you're done being all brooding and angsty, we really should get some recharge. Ames looks like she could use it."
Sunstreaker shot his brother an annoyed look but grumbled his assent. The woman did always seem tired. He urged Amy back over to her little nest, which Sideswipe had helpfully reassembled, as he climbed back into the berth himself. He watched the woman settle herself before lying back and trying to make himself comfortable once again. His processor was still whirring along at a hundred miles an hour but he felt marginally better. On a whim, he reached out and pulled Amy over snug against his left side.
He shrugged when she looked up at him in question. "You're going to end up over here anyway. Just try to keep the drool to a minimum."
His spark flared warmly when she gave him a soft smile and replied, "I'll do my best...no guarantees," and proceeded to burrow down into her blankets next to him.
"This is nice," Sideswipe sleepily commented as he snuggled in behind the woman, his chest plates to her back and his face buried in her hair. "Comfortable?"
"Mmhmm..." Amy nodded in agreement, her eyes already closed as her exhaustion finally caught up with her. "G'night..."
"Good night, sweetspark," was Sides' soft reply. "Night, Sunny."
"Yeah," Sunstreaker sighed, "Night."
The yellow front liner lay there for a long while after Amy's breathing evened out as sleep claimed her and his brother was deep into his recharge cycle. He stared at the ceiling, letting his thoughts wander as he tried to gear himself down enough to rest. His mind kept cycling around to the same subject, however. He turned his head to look at the woman sleeping peacefully beside him. She was small and fragile—the complete opposite of everything they were. He hadn't asked for this. He hadn't even wanted this. Now...
Now he wasn't sure if it was possible to go back to the way things were before. Even if it was, he wasn't sure that he'd want to. As much as he was loathe to admit it, he had to acknowledge the possibility that Sides had been right. Maybe they had been lacking something all this time. The Squishie may have been tiny in comparison but she filled the space well...better than he could have imagined at first glance. Everything fit together too well to be a product purely of chance. Organic or no, she was where she belonged.
A smirk pulled at his mouth as he finally closed his optics, content for the time being. "I'm still going to break his fragging face."
End of Chapter 40
