Finding Home

Chapter 44

By Voodoo Queen

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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! Thank you all so much for taking time out of your day to read my story. I do sincerely appreciate it and hope I'm able to entertain you while you're here. Sorry for the delay. I found out recently that the dog I've had for 13 years had cancer and we ended up having to have her put to sleep so I really haven't felt much like doing anything. I'm just starting to get back in my groove. Keeping busy helps and I really wanted to finish this chapter up and get it out to you guys. It's been sitting in a folder about 3/4 of the way done for over a month. Just a heads up, there is some mild to moderate sexual content/language in this chapter (including, but not limited to Sideswipe dealing with missing out on all the fun at home)—nothing graphic, just people who care deeply about each other trying to figure out how the hell this stuff is supposed to work under their unique circumstances. And to those worried about Sides getting the short end of the stick...fear not! He's having a great time, as you'll see! He is a twin, after all.

As always, thanks to everyone who added this story to their likes and faves. I'm happy you're here! Special thanks to my always-wonderful reviewers: Leonixon, shelby20125, bonnieandjangolove, all the 'Guests', monkeybaby, maria-ioanna984, WantFanFics, jellybeanz513, Malkah5967, KayleeChiara, ElleGirl19, 'Anonymous', Oddity Empress, jgoss, the everchanging, aquarius89, Bsmiles123, Cinematronix, poppycakes, skylar shepard, ladybug1995, .Princess, shizzlethis1, Assassin In Black 1783, Silver Wolf Queen.

Sorry if I missed anyone.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, just my own original characters and plot.

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Sideswipe stood anxiously outside of the main hangar waiting eagerly for his relief to show up. It had been long night to say the very least and all he wanted to do was to go home. He hadn't wanted to leave Amy the previous evening, especially not after they'd openly expressed their feelings for one another. He could hardly believe their turn of good fortune where she was concerned. After what felt like a lifetime of struggle and doing without, things seemed to finally be swinging their way and he could barely wait to hold her, hear those words spoken between them once again, and show her just how irrevocably in love with her he really was. That, however, would take time...time he hadn't had the night before with the prospect of an overnight patrol hanging over his head. He'd need to rectify that and soon.

Speaking of the previous night, he'd worried over leaving Amy alone with Sunny in her upset state. Although he loved his brother dearly, Sunstreaker wasn't the most diplomatic of mechs. She'd refused to accept an apology from him on Sunny's behalf so the mech would, unfortunately, be on his own in that regard. Though he'd made his peace with the femme with wonderful results, he knew how stubborn his brother could be when he believed he was in the right. He hoped Sunny could put pride aside, at least this one time, and apologize to her himself so that the three of them could move on with their lives and, as Jazz had so wisely advised, be happy. His concern had been unwarranted, it seemed. From what he could decipher from the bond he shared with his brother, after quite a bit of initial frustration, Sunny and Amy had ended up having an extremely pleasant evening together, much to his relief.

He'd been on the far side of the island when it had happened, that first little ripple of pleasure that his brother had allowed to slip through. His initial reaction had been a profound satisfaction that Sunny had managed to set things right again. All was not lost over this one incident. They were going to be okay. Deciding the bit of good news was his cue to take an impromptu break, he'd pulled over to the side of the road and transformed back into his bipedal mode. He took the opportunity to stretch as he wandered down toward the beach to skate leisurely along the coast line, enjoying the sound of crashing waves and happily sharing in his brother's success, albeit vicariously.

"Thank you, Sunny." He grinned to himself, "I knew you'd figure something out."

As he continued on, instead of subsiding, the feeling only grew stronger which he took to be an even greater sign that things back home were progressing pleasantly in a positive direction, for which he was extremely thankful. He would have been lying if he said that his curiosity wasn't absolutely killing him, though. He was catching the 'overflow', as they called it, of what his brother was feeling and it was beginning to affect his own spark, causing its pulse to quicken and a pang of longing to roll through his chest. A deep urge to be closer to whatever was transpiring filled him and he wished to be able to open up to his brother and sink into the sensations he was feeling fully but he resisted the urge. They were twins, yes, and more often than not did practically everything together, but they each still respected the other's right to privacy...to indulge in the occasional personal moment without having to worry about the whereabouts and feelings of the other. Whatever this was, it was between Amy and Sunny and he'd do his best to respect their time together just as he knew his brother would do for him.

Easier said than done.

It was obvious to Sides that Sunstreaker was attempting and failing to contain and compartmentalize what he was experiencing so as not to be distracting. It was also obvious the very moment his brother finally said "frag it" and completely gave up trying. The feeling swelled suddenly causing Sideswipe to stumble, his wheels slipping in the loose sand. A ragged moan escaped his vocalizer and he was forced to plop his aft down to sit on the beach when it became apparent that he couldn't concentrate on the sensations sweeping through into his spark and keeping himself upright and mobile at the same time. He was completely transfixed and though his intention had been to allow Amy and his brother time alone to sort out their differences without interruption or interference, he felt himself drawn in beyond his ability to control. With an almost palpable sense of expectation and exhilaration, he sought Sunstreaker through the bond they shared in order to more fully immerse himself in what was happening.

He sent an impression of apology to his twin which was readily accepted and met with an invitation he couldn't possibly refuse. If he couldn't be there physically, this was the next best thing and, though the pleasurable sensations were technically only secondhand impressions as interpreted by his brother, if he closed his optics and concentrated hard enough he could almost fool his own sensory grid into believing he was experiencing them for himself—a trick they'd both learned long ago how to exploit to their benefit. The soft, exploratory touches were a pleasing distraction from the tedious boredom of patrol and he focused intently on them, a shiver going through him as the ghostly fingers sought out the sensitive, hidden places beneath his/Sunny's armor. The sensations were so crisp and clear in his processor that he may as well have been in the room with them.

He could distinctly feel and perfectly understand his brother's need for touch...something soft and soothing after more brutality and hurt than anyone should have to endure in a lifetime. It had very little to do with sexual gratification or simple stress relief. It was a need for a real connection with another living soul. He, too, had that same yearning. They'd spent vorns alone, just the two of them. Though they'd never lacked for company, nothing ever really clicked with them. They may have been able to satisfy their physical needs but no one had ever really been able to fill that most important niche between them in any meaningful way. It was a void that neither had cared to acknowledge until just recently. It had been, in its own strange way, a rather lonely existence despite being surrounded by people. Now that they'd found Amy, he couldn't even imagine going back to the way things had been before.

"Please..." Sideswipe whispered into the night air, echoing his brother's thoughts. His hands fisted in the sand, crushing the tiny grains between his fingers. His vents seized up as he waited in anticipation, every sense he possessed fully focused on the bond he shared with Sunstreaker as he completely committed himself to the experience. "Please, sweetspark," he begged, as if the woman could somehow hear him, his pleas mingling with his brother's.

He waited a spark pulse, then two, to be rewarded with the phantom sensation of small, delicate hands stroking along the front of his spark chamber. The surge of perceived tactile stimulation sent him sprawling backwards into the sand. His own hands pressing into chest plates as if he could somehow hold the invisible hands in place beneath them. He could feel his internal temperature rising as the burn of electrostatic energy began to build within him more quickly than he'd ever experienced. That wasn't at the forefront of his focus, however. He could feel a strange magnetic pulling sensation, something he'd never felt before and, honestly, at that point he wasn't sure if it were him or Sunny that was truly experiencing it. Regardless, he surrendered himself to it, silently encouraging his brother to follow.

He soon became lost in it, aware even through the haze of the experience that his brother felt very much the same. They were forged from the same spark and he knew Sunny's essence as intimately as he knew his own and would recognize it anywhere. It felt as though they'd been drawn together in a peculiar, though not unpleasant, swirl of energy. It wasn't sexual, simply an acknowledgment that they were indeed two halves of the same whole at the very base of their existence and belonged together. A pair. A unit. An unbreakable set. There was something else, however. Something that drew his attention so sharply that he briefly forgot Sunny was 'there' at all. That is, until he felt his brother's own mix of confusion and wonder mingling with his own.

There was a completely separate third presence. He couldn't 'see' it, not the same way he could 'see' Sunny, but he could certainly sense it. It felt bright, brighter than anything he'd ever glimpsed with his optics. Yet, at the same time, it was indistinct and intangible, unlike his and Sunny's own defined selves in this strange, almost ethereal plane—together but separate. It was wispy, seeming to swirl uncertainty between them as if it couldn't decide what it was supposed to do now that it was there with them. He tried his best to focus on it, to try to define it in some recognizable way.

Despite its ambiguous, elusive nature, the presence radiated a curious, welcoming warmth. He gravitated towards it, wanting to be closer before it flitted away once more. It was soft, he vaguely realized. Feminine. Full of acceptance. Full of untapped love and affection.

Amy.

The recognition seemed to hit both he and Sunny at the same time. With it, came a state of profound bliss unmatched in his experience. There was a feeling of rightness, of wholeness, that neither he nor Sunny had every believed themselves worthy of. Everything else ceased to exist. Time lost all meaning. He couldn't imagine anything ever feeling better than how he felt right then. He could have stayed in that single moment forever and been happy.

Then, as suddenly as the encounter began, it abruptly ended leaving him feeling bereft. He'd been suddenly thrust back into his own consciousness, into his own body to find himself teetering dangerously on the brink of overload. Warnings flashed before his optics and he'd quickly shut down his HUD. His frame trembled almost uncontrollably as he tried to seize control of his faculties. A small corner of his processor reminded him that he was on duty and still had several long hours stretching out ahead of him and that there was no way he could patrol like this. He quickly turned his options over. A quick scan of his surroundings assured him that he was very much alone. No prying human eyes to witness what he was about to do.

It was possible to manipulate one's own spark core force field but, it wasn't something he'd ever really done before. It required a certain subtlety and he normally didn't have the patience when there were much easier methods to 'blow a charge' at his disposal should he find himself alone and feeling desperate. At that moment, however, all he could think about was how wonderful those small fingers had felt sliding beneath his/Sunny's armor and how he would've given anything to be able to experience it again while being able to look into Amy's wide, green eyes. A needy whimper escaped his vocalizer.

Before he could second guess what he was doing, he retracted the armor that covered his chest, revealing the smooth angles of his spark chamber. Lightly caressing his fingers over the surface sent a jolt straight down to his interface panel. He ignored it, however. It wasn't what he needed at the moment, not even close. With a shuddering ventilation, he also retracted the panels that hid away his spark, exposing the softly pulsating, blue orb of energy—his entire existence—to the cool ocean air. His head fell back into the sand and for a moment he simply let the wind wash over him, helping to cool his overheated frame before he lifted a trembling hand, bringing it his exposed essence.

"Primus," he groaned, his optics fluttering shut as his fingers carefully dipped inside, dragging them slowly through the swirling aura that radiated from his spark and stoking the pleasure that seemed to center there. "Ames," he breathlessly moaned, "sweetspark..."

It hadn't taken much to push himself over the precipice and afterwards, he'd lain in the sand staring up at the stars and simply marveling at the vastness of it all. His processor was abuzz with what had just happened and though physically sated for the moment, he ached to return home. He wanted nothing more that to curl up in the berth with Amy and Sunny and bask in the warmth of the afterglow together. He briefly entertained the notion of abandoning his duties and doing just that, but quickly dismissed the notion. He'd just barely skirted brig time and he wasn't about to put himself back in that position again. He resisted the urge to comm his brother, if only barely. It was enough that he'd allowed him to share this moment, he wouldn't impose on him any further. Knowing Amy and Sunny were together, home safe and sound, and waiting for his return had been enough to lull him into a contented doze.

"Sideswipe!"

He was jolted back into full wakefulness by a booming voice cracking over the comm. He checked his internal chronometer and grimaced, he'd been lazing on the beach for close to thirty minutes. He drew air deep into his vents, bracing for the worst, before opening the channel and uttering a casual, "Heya, Prowl."

"You were supposed to report in twenty minutes ago," the SIC used his no nonsense voice. "What is your status and location?"

"Yeah," Sides chuckled as he raised himself back up onto his wheels and began to slowly amble back towards the road on slightly wobbly legs, ignoring the sand that clung to his armor. "Sorry about that. I'm over on the south side. I thought I saw something suspicious...turns out it was just a bag of trash someone threw in the water. False alarm."

There was a long pause on the other end of the comm followed by a long-suffering sigh. "Get back here and sign the log. Now."

"I'm on my way," he promised, a secretive smile tugging at his mouth as he ran a gentle hand over his chest plates before folding himself back into his alt mode.

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The sound of a bass-heavy rock tune cut through the early morning quiet and shook Sideswipe out of his memories of the previous night. A relieved whoosh of air escaped his intakes as Bumblebee pulled up in front of him and quickly reverted to his bipedal mode. Eager though he was to put his duties behind him for the time being, he grinned easily at the younger mech, "Morning, Bee."

"Yo, yo, yo," the voice of an early morning DJ blasted out of the scout's speakers. "What it is?"

Sides shrugged, "Same old, same old. You know how patrol goes. Nothing new to pass on, just boring as the Pit, per usual."

Bumblebee was less than convinced given the mech's curiously upbeat demeanor so early in the morning. He gave him a quizzical look as if to ask what was really going on.

Again, Sides shrugged. "Just ready to go home and see the family, Bee. That's all."

Bee made an 'ah ha' sound and nodded in understanding. "I get that," a voice pronounced. "I really do."

Sideswipe clapped the mech on the shoulder as he prepared to go on his way, "Just make sure you sign Prowl's log on time...he gets testy if you don't. I'll catch you later."

Bee nodded, waving farewell as he returned to his alt mode to start his own shift.

Sides sighed and headed off in the direction of the rec/lounge area at a brisk pace. He knew his brother would be waiting there for him before getting a jump on his day. Yes, he wanted to go home to Amy, but the two of them had a couple things they needed desperately to discuss first.

"About slagging time," Sunstreaker greeted him as he entered the room, energon cube in hand and already outstretched. "Here."

"Thanks," Sideswipe threw his brother a grateful look, broke the seal on the cube and took a long swig of the viscous fluid within. He allowed a moment to enjoy the warmth of the concentrated liquid energy compound flooding his lines before focusing completely on his twin. "I really needed that."

"Yeah," Sunstreaker smirked knowingly. "I bet."

"Sorry about last night." One corner of Sides' mouth hitched up into a lopsided, apologetic grin, "I didn't want to intrude but it was kind of hard not to. It was...pretty intense."

Sunny nodded, a rather contemplative look on his face. "That's putting it mildly."

"So," he asked with a raised brow, "what happened?"

Sunny vented, "How much could you feel?"

Sideswipe drained the rest of his cube and sat it aside, "You were broadcasting pretty loud and clear, bro."

"I figured," Sunny nodded in understanding. "To be honest," he continued. "I'm not sure. She was fragging pissed and nothing I did seemed to help so," he smirked, "I tried a different approach. She forgave me and one thing led to another..."

"Uh huh," Sideswipe chuckled. "And her hands just sort of wandered up under your armor? Not that I'm complaining."

"I may have guided her a bit," Sunstreaker confessed. He shrugged, looking thoughtful, "What was I supposed to do? She was curious."

Sideswipe nodded, his processor already whirring with possibilities. "Curious is good. Curious is really good. We can work with curious."

"I'd say you did quite a bit of work on your own," Sunstreaker gave his brother a critical once over, taking in the sand that still clung to bits of his frame with a look of disdain. "Self-servicing on the beach? In the middle of patrol? Really? You could've kept that to yourself."

Unashamed, Sides shrugged. "Speaking of, it's not like you didn't spend a few extra breems alone in the wash racks this morning so consider us even." He gazed at his twin in amusement, "I'm guessing it must have been a rough night?"

Sunstreaker narrowed his optics but didn't refute his brother's accusation.

"What about her," Sideswipe asked, quickly changing the subject.

Sunny raised a brow plate, "What about her?"

"Did she, you know," Sides gestured. "Enjoy it?"

"She didn't overload, if that's what you're asking. At least I don't think she did." Sunstreaker frowned, "How are you even supposed to fragging know with a human? There's no feedback."

"Humans don't overload, Sunny," Sideswipe helpfully informed. "They orgasm. If you'd bothered to do any research..."

"Yeah," Sunstreaker interrupted, rolling his optics. "I've seen your 'research'...fragging pervert."

Sides chuckled, "It's called being prepared."

"Whatever," Sunny snorted. "Call it what you want. Aside from the basic mechanics, all that slag seems too put on to be real life. She didn't act anything like those femmes in the videos, thank Primus." He thought for a moment before adding, "But, yeah, all things considered, she seemed to be enjoying herself as far as I could tell. At least, she didn't complain."

"Did you...?" Sideswipe left the question open ended, knowing Sunny would understand.

On cue, Sunstreaker shook his head. "No, nothing like that. I wasn't sure how much she'd be comfortable with. I didn't want to push her or my luck. It was pretty tame, considering."

Sideswipe nodded in understanding. Sparkling steps. This was territory that was, as far as they knew, completely uncharted. Last night, however, had been too real to have been a fluke. It opened up possibilities that he'd previously believed impossible. At any rate, it was worth further exploration. "There's no rush, right? We can work our way up to it. We may not be able to spark bond with her but for the time being we can experiment a little with the imprinting now that we know we can kinda link up through it."

"Pump your brakes, bit brain." Sunny warned. "She's still a fragging human. That hasn't changed."

Sideswipe immediately frowned, "I thought you were passed that scrap, Sunny. I thought it didn't matter anymore."

"It matters," Sunstreaker grit. "It matters a whole fragging lot. She had her hands directly on my spark chamber." He admitted, "I thought I was going to overload. I didn't know what the energy discharge would do to her. I didn't want the evening to end with an electrocution."

Sideswipe vented, shaking his head. The plans he'd been formulating in his processor instantly evaporated. "I didn't think of that..."

"Figures," the yellow mech huffed. "I did some more reading while I was waiting for you," Sunny blurted. "About spark imprinting."

"Oh?" Sides perked back up, interest clearly written across his face as well as hope that his brother may have found some magical solution to their human-Cybertronian intimacy issues. "Learn anything helpful?"

"Helpful?" Sunny shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I think what we experienced is something called a conscious energy transference."

Sides brow plates furrowed, "What is that?"

"Exactly what it sounds like." Sunstreaker vented, "One spark is able to sync up with another if they're especially compatible in a way that allows a transfer of energy or consciousness between them without the benefit of an actual spark bond. It's exceedingly rare. There's only about thirty cases that have actually been verified in a medical environment."

"Thirty-one, now," Sideswipe added with a slow grin. "Lucky us. It kinda makes sense. I mean, you have to admit it, the three of us just kind of...click together. Like puzzle pieces, almost."

"Yeah," Sunny scoffed. "It makes perfect sense except for the little fact that the Squishie doesn't have anything even vaguely resembling a spark."

"I don't know," Sideswipe denied. "I felt her, Sunny. You felt her. You can't tell me you didn't. I was there...well, sort of. There has to be something we're missing here with this whole imprinting thing," he pressed. "There has to be."

Sunstreaker vented, "Maybe we should talk to Ratchet."

"What?" Sideswipe's optics widened. "Sunny, no! We can't!"

"Why not," the yellow twin demanded. "We don't have a fragging clue what something like this could do to her."

"He'll try to fix her," Sides stressed. "Do you want her fixed? I don't know about you but last night was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced with another person...and I wasn't even there! Do you want to lose that? I sure as the Pit don't!"

Sunny grimaced, "I don't want her hurt."

"Neither do I," Sideswipe assured. "Look," he started diplomatically, "let's just sit on this for now, alright? We'll keep a close optic on her and if we see anything, and I mean anything, out of the ordinary we go straight to Ratchet. We won't try it again until we know for absolute certain she's okay. That'll give us time to figure things out...maybe find a workaround. What do you think?"

Sunstreaker ran a hand down over his face, "I don't even know what I think anymore. My spark is telling me one thing and my processor is telling me something completely different. I don't even like humans but, damn me to the Pit, I fragging care about her." He shook his head. "We need to make this work."

"We will," Sideswipe promised his brother. "Whatever we have to do, we will. Just...let's hold off on dragging the Doc into this. Just for a while."

"This is a slagging mess," the yellow front liner groused.

"We'll straighten it out," Sides vowed. "It'll work out. I know it will."

"Yeah," Sunny tentatively agreed. "It fragging better."

There was a long moment of silence between the brothers before Sides spoke up once more, "Last night, I wanted to tell you that...I told her that I loved her."

Sunny's optics widened as his head swiveled back in his twin's direction. "You did what?"

Sideswipe vented softly, "I told her that I loved her. I just," he shrugged, "I couldn't keep it to myself anymore."

"Okay..." Sunstreaker pressed, "And what did she say?"

A dreamy look settled over the silver mech's features, "She said that she loved me, too."

"Frag me..." Sunny looked as though he couldn't believe it. "Seriously?"

"I swear," Sides assured with a grin. "I couldn't believe it, either...but she does."

"Well, that's..." a myriad of emotions played over Sunny's face plates before settling on a look of feigned disinterest. "That's great. I'm happy for you."

"Us, Sunny," Sideswipe corrected. "Be happy for us. This is huge! You need to talk to her," he encouraged. "Tell her how you feel. You won't believe how liberating it feels to get it off your chest plates."

Sunstreaker shook his head, "I can't."

Sides demanded, "Why the Pit not?"

Sunny frowned, "I don't do...that."

Sideswipe raised a brow, "You don't do what?"

"Talk about feelings..." Sunstreaker squirmed uncomfortably. There was more to it than that, but it's all Sunny felt comfortable revealing, even to his own twin.

"Bro," Sides shook his head. "This isn't some random femme you bring home for a night or two and never see again. This is Ames we're talking about. This is the real deal."

"I know," Sunny agreed in a low tone. Therein lay the problem. He may have been the dominant twin on the battlefield but there were other, one could even argue more important, areas in which his brother far outshined him in terms of bravery. This was one of them. He couldn't take the risk. He shook his head once more, "I just can't."

"Sunny..." Sides started to argue.

"Drop it," Sunstreaker ordered in a irritated tone, obviously losing what little patience he had.

"Fine," Sideswipe reluctantly agreed, knowing that he'd pushed too far. "Just...think about it, alright?"

A noncommittal grunt was the response.

"Alright, well..." Sides stretched, causing the struts in his back to pop. "I'm slagged. Gonna go try to catch a couple hours of recharge. You heading out?"

"Yeah," Sunny quietly confirmed. "I want to get some painting in before lunch."

Sides nodded, "We'll talk later?"

Sunstreaker hummed in agreement. As his twin turned to leave, he called after him, "Hey...she's still sleeping so keep it down!"

"I'll be quiet," Sides promised.

"And hose yourself off first, fragger!" Sunny threatened, "If I find any sand in that berth..."

"Yeah, yeah..." Sideswipe flashed his brother a mischievous grin before folding back down into his alt mode and taking off toward home.

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Amy woke slowly. She felt extremely well rested and relaxed. It really was amazing the difference sharing a berth with the twins versus struggling all night in her own bed back in the barracks had made. Like night and day. Her eyes fluttered open and she attempted to stretch, only to find her movement restricted by the large, metal body that all but encapsulated her much smaller, softer one. Rather than being irritated with her confinement, a relieved smile lifted the corners of her mouth. Sideswipe had returned and was again cuddling her as though she were some kind of giant stuffed animal that he needed to sleep. She relaxed in his hold, enjoying the warmth and subtle vibration his spark produced.

As she yawned she allowed her gaze to wander and noted, somewhat disappointedly, that Sunstreaker's side of the berth was now empty. Despite that, however, a fond smile lifted the corners of her mouth upon noticing that a styrofoam container that had been left in his stead. An early riser, indeed. Unbidden, her memory slipped back to the night before.

It had been a completely transformative experience. There was no way she'd ever be able to look at the yellow front liner the same after what they'd inexplicably shared with one another. It had been strange and mystifying...almost spiritual in its scope and intensity. She still wasn't entirely clear on what had transpired between them and Sunstreaker had seemed just as awed and amazed by the experience as she had been. He hadn't had an explanation for what had happened but, honestly, at this point she really hadn't expected one. She wasn't really even sure that she needed one anymore. Her life had become so surreal that a simple, scientific explanation couldn't possibly do it justice.

Even now, she could still feel the remnants of what they'd done masquerading as a subtle tingling lingering in the very tips of her fingers. She raised her left hand to her face to study it closer. It wasn't painful by any stretch and her hand looked no different than it always did. She had felt him, though. She'd felt him feel her. They had essentially merged together in a swirl of thought, impression, and emotion that had left her absolutely mesmerized. He'd filled voids inside of her that she hadn't even known she'd had and when they'd parted back into themselves she'd felt bereft.

"Stop, bright spark," he'd panted into her ear. "We have to stop."

He'd pulled away from her suddenly, her hands slipping from beneath his chest plates as he moved to perch on the edge of the berth, hunched over with his back to her and his hands planted firmly on his knees. He'd drawn slow, deep inhalations even as tiny shivers moved through his frame. She'd been left where she lay, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes, trembling hands, and an unfamiliar knot of tension and heat coiled low in her belly. It had taken her a moment to get a handle on her own body before she was able to push herself back up into a seated position and adjust her twisted clothing back into a presentable state.

She'd asked tentatively, her voice soft in the dark room, "Are you okay? Did...did I do something wrong?"

"No," he'd quickly assured. "Just...frag...," he'd cursed and his hands moved to the edge of the berth in a crushing grip. "I'm fine. Just give me a minute..."

"Yeah," she'd quietly agreed, settling back to wait him out and completely confused as to what had just occurred between them. "Sure."

About a minute had ticked by in heavy silence before the mech finally straightened and turned to look back at her, tension now replaced with concern, "Are you alright?"

Self-consciousness and embarrassment had begun creeping in, displacing her formerly bold demeanor. She'd felt heat fill her face and couldn't even bring herself to look him in the optic. She swallowed hard an nodded her head.

"Hey," he'd hooked a finger beneath her chin, turning her face to look at him. He'd studied her with a serious expression and asked again, "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes," she'd stammered. "I'm okay..."

He'd vented heavily and settled back down into the berth, opening his arms in invitation, "Get over here, Squishie."

She'd hesitated only a second before crawling over and fitting herself snuggly into his left side. She hadn't protested when he'd pulled her blankets back up over her body, tucking them in around her. They'd settled into a comfortable silence, the only noise the slight tick, tick, tick of what sounded to her to be cooling metal. He'd seemed deep in thought and it took Amy a moment to find her voice, as well.

Once she'd gotten her wits back, she'd asked, "What just happened?"

He'd shaken his head, his voice a quiet rumble in the dark as he answered honestly, "I don't know. I've never experienced anything like that before." He lifted his head slightly to look at her, "You?"

"No," Amy shook her head vehemently in denial. She nibbled her bottom lip, this time raising her head to look at him. "What did you mean by that when you said it was us that we were feeling?"

"I'm not sure," he cautiously ventured, "but I think somehow we...merged."

A look of confusion settled over Amy's features, "Merged?"

"Like I said," he shrugged, "I don't know. You're human. That shouldn't even be possible. But..." he admitted, "Its the only explanation I can come up with right now."

"I don't understand...how-" Amy began but was interrupted by the mech shifting onto his side to face her.

Sunstreaker slid down the berth until they were eye to optic and pressed his forehead against her's. "I don't have answers for you...not tonight. Let's sleep on it, alright? It's been a long day. We'll figure it out tomorrow."

Reluctantly, she'd nodded. She felt somewhat placated knowing that at least they were on the same page. Neither of them had a clue.

There'd not been much conversation after that. Each had seemed to be content to engage in their own quiet contemplations as they waited for sleep/recharge to claim them. Idly, her fingers brushed back and forth over a seam she'd found that ran down the side of his torso. He'd hummed appreciatively at the gesture while his own thumb carefully kneaded the base of her spine, loosening tension she'd not even know she'd had. Before she'd even realized it, she'd been fast asleep.

Sighing, Amy carefully maneuvered herself within Sideswipe's arms, turning so that she could face him. She studied his features, committing each beloved joint and seam to heart. It was crazy, she mused, how it was possible to care so much about another person—especially one who wasn't even the same species. Completely relaxed in recharge, he seemed a far cry from the deadly Autobot warrior he and his brother were purported to be. Despite knowing that he was many lifetimes her senior, he seemed young and innocent. There was a vulnerability about him like this that she was certain few had ever gotten to see and knowing that made her heart constrict in such a way that she couldn't help but stretch forward and press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Sideswipe stirred at the contact, a contented sound escaping his vents as he mumbled, "Morning, sweetspark..."

Amy, knowing he'd been up all night, immediately felt guilty. "Sorry," she softly apologized. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Not sorry," the mech murmured sleepily, nuzzling his face into her hair. "I love this...I love you. C'mere..."

Amy felt a warmth move through her and cuddled in closer to his chest, allowing him to situate her how he wanted her before responding with a heartfelt, "I love you, too."

Sides vented happily, "Never gonna get tired of hearing that..."

He became quiet and still once more, leading Amy to believe that he'd drifted off again. Closing her eyes, she decided to follow suit. Her muscles relaxed and her breathing deepened. Cocooned in warmth and feeling safe and secure, she could feel the first vestiges of sleep beginning to reclaim her when Sideswipe's voice suddenly jolted her back into wakefulness.

"Last night with Sunny...that was pretty incredible."

"What?" Amy pulled back to look at him to find that his optics were still closed. She felt guilty now for an entirely different reason now.

A smile tugged at Sides' lip plates, "I wasn't sure if something like that was even possible between us...but apparently it is."

Amy stiffened, "He...he told you about that?"

Sideswipe shook his head, finally opening his optics to look at the woman. "He didn't have to," he explained a soft smile on his face. "I could feel it in my spark."

Amy went wide eyed, her face flooding with heat, "You could feel all of that?"

"Well, yeah." Sides chuckled, "We are twins, you know."

A horrifying thought came to her, "Can you, like, read each other's minds or something?"

"No," he grinned at her, amusement shining brightly in his optics as he smoothed a hand over her hair. "We're not psychic, sweetspark. It's just a twin thing. Being split-sparked, sometimes emotions and physical sensations can bleed over if they're particularly intense. For the most part, we're pretty good at regulating stuff like that between us. We have to be," he added. "Especially out in the field where one of us getting hurt could endanger the other. Last night was...an extraordinary circumstance. It couldn't be helped. I've never experienced anything like it."

"I'm sorry." The words were out of her mouth before she was really even sure what she was apologizing for. All she knew was that she had no idea how this sort of an arrangement was supposed to work. The previous evening Sideswipe had basically poured his spark out to her and she'd turned right around after he'd left and had more or less groped his brother. Sure, she'd kissed them both and neither seemed to mind having to share her, for lack of better terminology, with the other. The intimacy she and Sunstreaker had shared, however, had gone far beyond a simple kiss and, to her at least, it almost felt like a betrayal. The fact that Sideswipe seemed so relaxed about the entire situation, happy even, threw her off as it was so completely outside of any acceptable social construct she'd ever been a part of.

Sideswipe's expression morphed into one of confusion, "What could you possibly have to feel sorry about, sweetspark?"

"That...with Sunstreaker..." she wasn't even sure what to call what had happened. "You weren't here and I just..."

It took him a minute to realize what she was getting at. When it did click, it only reaffirmed to him just how hopelessly in love with her he really was. Of all the things she could be worrying about given recent events—her health and well-being being number one—she chose to fret over him feeling left out. Ridiculous, really, as it couldn't have been further from the truth. "Ames, sweetspark, it's okay...there's nothing to apologize for."

Amy's brow furrowed, "But..."

"No buts," Sideswipe soothed. "You don't have anything to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying Sunny's company when you're alone together." He nuzzled her, "Just like I'm enjoying your company right now. In fact," he pulled back slightly to give her a lopsided grin, "I'd be worried if you didn't."

Amy worried her bottom lip between her teeth, reluctantly admitting, "This whole concept is...kinda weird for me."

Sideswipe nodded in understanding. "We know this isn't exactly a 'traditional' relationship by human norms but it's pretty standard operating procedure for us. Believe it or not," he shared, "it's easy to forget that you're not Cybertronian sometimes and that what's normal to us may seem, well...alien to you. It's an adjustment. It just takes some getting used to. That's all."

Amy nodded even though a feeling of guilt still prickled her nerves. "Yeah, I guess so..."

"Ames," Sides tucked his thumb beneath her chin to tip her face up toward him. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with what you and Sunny did with one another. Whether you're with him, or me, or we're all together, we want you to feel comfortable enough to express yourself. Showing affection to the people you care about is a perfectly natural thing and if you want to get cozy with one of us while the other isn't around, you're not going to hurt anyone's feelings. I can promise you that."

"So," Amy relaxed slightly as the mech's message began to sink in. "It doesn't bother you that you weren't here?"

"Of course not," he assured, squeezing her gently. "I'm glad you and Sunny had some time alone together to sort things out. Having some private one on one time with each other is just important as having time where we can all be together. We're twins, but that doesn't mean we each don't enjoy being the center of your attention once in a while. Sometimes it's nice not having to share." He grinned at her, "Speaking of which, how can I possibly be bothered when I have you all to myself for the rest of the morning?"

Amy let out a yelp of surprise as the mech rolled suddenly, shifting onto his back and bringing her right along with him. She found herself perched atop him, his hands at her hips gently holding her in place. A healthy blush colored her face, "Sideswipe..."

"Ames..." He grinned mischievously up at the woman who now sat sprawled over his chest plates. "I have an idea...I know Sunny showed you some of our sensitive areas last night so it's only right that we learn about your's, too, for the sake of fairness," he winked at her. "What do you say, sweetspark? Want to show me what feels good?"

XXXXXXXXXX

OMG. So...question time again, friends. How graphic is too graphic, if ya know what I mean? Do you want to "see" everything or do you like to let your imagination fill in the blanks? I'm trying to be kinda vague while still giving a pretty clear picture of what's transpiring. As of this chapter, this story is rated T but it may have to be bumped up to M if we continue down this path. This poor trio is so repressed, they were bound to get touchy-feely sooner or later. I kinda feel like they need to blow off some steam, ya know? Ugh. Decisions, decisions.