Chapter 13: Let Me Be Vulnerable With You
Thalia
The cushion pressed on my right ear felt as fluffy as white clouds. The soft comfy bed below me was a godsend toward a dreamless sleep my body was so tirelessly yearning for, and yet, I was lying wide awake.
The reason…? Well, that's because on the other side of the bed…
"U-Umm, Good night?"
I cleared my throat, "G-Good night."
Neither one of us moved. I stay frozen on my side, my eyes were wide open as well.
~Sigh~~
As expected, awkwardness hung our atmosphere like an uninvited guest showing up to a funeral before bringing a band of circus clowns that started the eulogy with some clown music.
All in all, the mood was absolutely dreadful... Aahh! How I wished we could have just driven straight back without taking this pit stop filled with embarrassment. I should have just taken us back from the very beginning!
I sighed with regret.
"…." It didn't take much to know that Percy was wide awake as well. After all, he was sharing a bed with a girl other than Annabeth: the only girl he had his heart for. It would have been awkward no matter what.
"So," He tilted his head on the pillow, "How are your wounds?"
Another sigh left me, though was it relief I felt, or was I just annoyed? I couldn't decide.
"I'll live, Percy." I bit my lips, "How is yours?"
I could vaguely tell he was rubbing his lower back.
"Can't say it doesn't hurt quite a bit…"
I hummed, then a sudden thought snapped like I was on the verge of solving a jigsaw puzzle, "Wait, you said you were going to tell me what happened after both of us were blown out of the sky, didn't you?"
His body tensed, "Oh. Haha… right. I forgot."
I shook my head with hopeless despair while Percy told me everything I'd missed.
…..
…..
"… and yeah, and that's pretty much everything."
I was surprised. The fact that he managed to cast typhoon hurl on command and manipulate his element with ease was a sign that he was close to being awakened. It also provided an interesting theory as to how to activate his powers. I heard myself humming.
"Guess I am not the only crazy one…"
"Huh?"
"Nothing." I grinned to myself, "Anyway, so after you saved us from plummeting to our deaths, the chopper turned out to be piloted by Walter, and you somehow saved us again by making it explode, then jumped off the only safe place you've got, a three hundred feet dive that we barely survived if you didn't create a water slide to break our momentum…"
I was on the verge of tears and almost couldn't contain it; the whole scenario was too over the top and needlessly ridiculous, like one of those cliché light novel stories Annabeth and Percy loved so much. It was as expected from the sea prince who was never lacking in his comedic timing.
"Was it fun?" My body drifted slightly near the middle of the bed and I smiled.
"It was not!" Percy said matter of fact, "Believe it or not, I almost had a heart-attack mid-fall!"
"Uh-huh…"
"Wow… what's with that tone, Thals?"
I giggled a bit, "Still, I originally thought that maybe AMK shot a cruise missile at us from their headquarters or something. It was Walter's doing all along?"
"Gosh, please don't jinx us like that. I am not ready to stop a full-size rocket anytime soon."
"Interesting… So he wasn't even aiming at us with those warning missiles. He was trying to follow us to the estate and find out where we are all staying."
"And probably trying to take Rachel back. I could tell from the fight that he really cares about her." He paused, "Though I don't understand how he could do that to someone he loves so much."
I nodded. For now, Walter's motives remained a mystery, certainly not for long though.
"So what exactly did you do? How did you defeat him?"
Percy shifted, "I don't actually know how. All I felt was that I need to protect Rachel, and the next thing I knew, all the missiles inside the launchers exploded, and that's how I got hurt."
I sucked in my lips and remembered what I had to do back at the nurse's office.
"Looks like it hurt a lot…" I said, my voice carrying a painful wince, the memories of his screams while I wiggled that jagged metal scrap out of his back was firmly etched in my mind. I shivered.
"And it would have hurt less if I didn't have to carry you half the way through the woods." The sudden mirthfulness in his voice surprised me, then I proceeded to hit him in the arm without another thought.
He laughed subtly in response.
"I was unconscious! That's not fair!"
"Yeah, yeah… You were unconscious, how could I forget?"
"Hey, what's with that sarcastic attitude? Anyway, I've used up a lot of my energy after unleashing my armament, so that's why… Wait, why are you snickering?"
Trying to explain myself, I was met with Percy suppressing his laughs in a half-snarky manner. His unwelcoming sneers hit more than a few nerves and left me with a deep frown. I've never truly felt the need to punch an injured person more than now.
"Nothing…" He couldn't stop teasing me.
My fist tighten around the warm blankets on top of me and pulled them closer.
"Whatever… you stupid jerk."
"Aww… Come on, I was just remembering how you were hugging me like a crying kitten looking for attention. It's just so unlike you."
I grew uncomfortably warm underneath my side of the bed, yet it strangely felt good as the heat enveloped me. Somewhere, I could also feel his warmth seeping over.
"Idiot… I wasn't doing anything like that."
"You were! You so were! I remember that face you made when you pull my shirt." Percy was elated for some reason, probably because he was making fun of me, "I still can't believe you can make a face like that."
All thoughts about AMK or what happened went out the window. After all, I was too embarrassed, more so when I couldn't have known if I actually did all that or if he just making it up. The resulting snickers left me with something more than just a frown on my face.
"I am going to punch you if you keep it up like that."
He didn't, or rather, couldn't stop those cheeky sounds from coming out between his all-too-likely sly lips. I resisted all urge to punch him in his Achilles heel right now. It was at that point that I knew I had to shut him up for good.
"You are so annoying…"
It wasn't a good plan, but I couldn't do anything against that innate instinct built up and…
Phud!
Percy froze all over, his snickers finally faded to the background, "H-Hey, W-what… are you—?"
With my face buried into his strong back, I hid from the world as my hands reached out to tug on the back of his ragged shirt. As expected, Percy stopped talking altogether.
"Shut up, Percy…" Then with a whisper like a falling feather, I blurted out unwittingly, "And thank you for saving me…"
Damn it, didn't I promise myself I wouldn't—
Percy did more than stop talking now. He was frozen solid while I pressed myself into his back, to feel more of his warmth, to seek what my broken heart had been secretly wanting since…
"T-Thalia?"
I nudged him with my hand.
"I am going to tell you something... about me." My lips paused a bit, "Promise you won't tell anyone."
"Uh…" Percy tried to turn around to face me, but I forced him back.
"Don't turn around…"
He nervously mumbled to himself, "O-okay. I promise."
I sighed long and hard while pushing myself closer to his tense body unable to relax. I didn't blame him for that reaction, but for tonight… I—
I am sorry, Annabeth…
Shifting as close and comfortable as I could be, my trembling lips parted little by little, words formed from the depth of my heart yet refused to come up my throat, "Percy… I was—"
Unable to get past even the first sentence, I sighed a deep breath and tried again. My lips pressed on his strong back for reassurance.
"B-Before Athena rescued me and my brother from living our days on the streets, I… I wasn't a good person. I made a lot of mistakes… and some of them are…"
Now that the floodgates were opened. I couldn't stop anymore. As my words trailed, Percy gulped and his chest tightened. I tugged on his shirt a bit more.
"I have never told anyone about my past, Percy." I mumbled, "You are the first person outside of Athena and my brother to know what happened."
"Annabeth doesn't know…?"
I shook my head against his back, "I was fifteen back then. Before I knew who I was, I once had a family, though my parents were horrible. They'd never cared about me because they knew I was not their child, and I'd always get in trouble because I couldn't control my powers."
I bit my lips unconsciously.
"And finally on that one day, I had enough and ran away with Jason. We ran so far away that we'd gotten lost in the middle of the city with nowhere else to go."
"Thalia…"
I nudged him, "I did a lot of bad things, Percy, things that hurt a lot of people, things that I couldn't forget, but that was the only way I could survive and make sure that my brother wasn't hurt because of my stupidity and mistake of bringing him with me."
I sucked in a huge breath as Percy listened.
"I… But that's when I met Luke."
Percy jolted against me when I said that accursed name now more so than ever.
"Before that day when Lady Athena rescue us from a freakish tornado ready to swallow us whole, Luke was the only person who'd been nice to me. He ran away from home too, but he took care of me and my brother, kept us safe, and made sure we could eat and have a safe place to sleep every night. I… I was glad that he did all that for us."
Percy wanted to say something, but I stopped him.
"And even if that means I have to sleep with him, I didn't care back then."
Just like that, whatever he wanted to say seemingly left his throat altogether. I shivered against him and just hugged his back a bit tighter than before.
"I thought that as long as he kept us fed and a roof over our heads, I'd gladly do anything he wanted me to do." I paused, pressing myself even closer to his back and whispered, "B-But that's when he started to… he would want me to do things that… I thought that maybe he was just a little bit angrier those days, but his forcefulness escalated each time he…"
Somehow, I seemed to have wet his shirt quite a bit, but Percy paid it no mind whatsoever. His warm body never moved from his current position, the soft firmness of him being here was all I had to keep myself going instead of...
My voice croaked like being speared by a razor-sharp arrow right through my heart, "… It was after he tie me down one day that I finally realized something was wrong, and I ran again. I ran away from what I thought— hoped was my next family."
Holding onto Percy like a life raft was the only thing I could do after telling him everything, the unforgivable things I did to survive the streets, and the mistakes I made for trusting Luke who turned himself into a proper monster and came back to haunt me.
It was a full circle, history repeating itself and proving just how cruel the fates could be.
"That's why I never wanted to talk about my father… Everything that has gone wrong in my life all started with me being a Half-Blood. I can't think of it as anything other than a curse."
I bit my lips hard, "I tried my best to use them for good, that's why I am fighting with Athena, to help others like me, but whenever I think back to those days, I- I couldn't help how horrible I felt, that I could never take it back, to have a normal life instead of one filled with…"
Words finally faltered and I wept like a baby into his shirt. Everything, all the repressed memories I've suppressed, I couldn't take it back anymore. My sole voice went out and my raspy throat was as dry as the Sahara desert.
But to my surprise…
"I am sorry, Thalia." Before my voice could trail off, Percy ignored my ironclad rule with no regard whatsoever and turned to face me. I blinked in a daze and tried to hide, but when he didn't pull his eyes away even when I was a mess, I froze. His voice was soft and protective, like a prince coming to save his princess from being captured.
"But you can't blame yourself for what happened. None of it was your fault." For my sake, Percy didn't try to pity me, "I am not going to pretend I know what you and Jason have been through, but I know one thing for certain. You did your best, didn't you?"
Taken back, fresh tears built over my eyes like a flash flood.
"You tried so hard to be who you are today, and that should be enough. Be proud of yourself for accomplishing so much already, I mean, you are basically the leader of all Half-Bloods already, and on top of that, you are such a badass in a fight and you can fly! If anything, I know I am proud of you, and Annabeth will always think of you as a blessing because you are always there for her no matter what, so don't worry Thalia, we are all here for you too, and you don't have to be afraid of being vulnerable in front of others either, at least, my shoulders are always open."
It was a mouthful, but my ears heard every single word loud and clear, and when he smiled, I felt as if an angel descended from the realm above right on my doorsteps. Crystal blue eyes blinking repeatedly was my only option, after all, who would have thought something so simple was all I needed to mend my broken heart? Everything I felt and suppressed in the past, it felt as if I was forgiven for every one of them.
Certainly, this wasn't his superpower, but the way Percy effortlessly understood others' feelings, his innate instinct to forgive and tried to make you feel better no matter what… He left me with a tinge of hope, a single tear rolled down my cheeks while I stared him back in a blurry haze.
You have that effect on a lot of people, Percy. Annabeth, Piper, Illya, Rachel, me... Our attachments with you have only grown stronger since you came into our lives.
"…."
Of course, being the dummy he was, he started to panic when I didn't say anything and just looked at him. He tried his best to stammer something out, resulting in a bunch of incoherent mumbles as they left his quivering lips.
Despite all my hesitation, I bit back a smile as another tear fell, "You are a seaweed brain…"
The sympathy in his eyes gave me renewed strength and I leaped from my side of the bed, my forehead pressed tightly on his chest. While I fully expected him to awkwardly flinch away, he didn't do that. In fact, he seemed okay with letting me hold him.
Hmm. Just for tonight…
"Huh? Wait, did I say something wrong?" His words carried a strange tenseness. After all, he was sharing a cuddle with me, and not Annabeth.
I kept my smile hidden, "No, dummy."
The long silence that followed was everything I needed. For the first time, I didn't feel awkward being in such close proximity with him because Percy had already made his feelings genuine, and for that, I was thankful for him just being here for me.
I let out a little whisper to myself.
Percy probably didn't hear it, but he eventually wrapped his arms lightly against me in a protective barrier and said with his utmost determination, "I will make sure Luke gets what's coming to him. I promise."
"Hmm." I buried myself further into him and mumbled into his chest while clinging to his shirt like a child seeking comfort from her parents. It was so embarrassing, but I didn't want to care anymore, at least not tonight, "I know you will, Percy. You are much stronger than I am now."
"Well, I don't know about that…"
I shook my head, "No, Percy. You have to believe in yourself. You are the child of the prophecy, and Annabeth, me… everyone else will always believe in you, so don't lose faith."
And like the hero of an epic tale, I knew Percy would protect me, protect us from the evil monster who threaten to destroy everything we held dear. Even now, I knew it won't be long before we have to take the fight to the Underworld, and I knew Percy would certainly change the tide of battle in our favor. After all, he was our savior, in more ways than one.
"Thank you, Thalia." Percy said when his arms around me loosen up, "For always supporting me."
"Mm-hmm…" I shook my head, "I should be thanking you for everything, Percy." I finally blurted out into his chest, "You have made an impact in all our lives, even if you don't know it yet."
"Huh?"
I tilted my head up to meet his rather cute and confused expression and gave him a wry smile. If he couldn't figure it out now, I was sure someone else would make him realize it soon enough. Then out of nowhere, a conversation I remember us having in the penthouse popped to the forefront of my head. I smiled wide at what Rachel was hinting at earlier tonight.
"Nothing." I hide my smirks, "Figure it out yourself…"
"Huh? What's with all this subtle secrecy?" He pouted a little, then suddenly changed the topic on a dime, "Well anyway, since you are already sharing, mind telling me how you and Illya met?"
Taken back, I was surprised by his question. After all, how could he have known about–? I tilted my eyes and met him only to avert those green eyes brimmed with interest seconds later, "So you do realize…"
Percy shrugged, "Well, that was a pretty big reaction to not realize something's going on between you and Illya, but it doesn't seem you are aware of it either, so I mean… everyone is just a bit curious, that's all."
I sighed reluctantly, "I'll tell you, Percy, but Illya told me not to tell anyone about this, so your lips better sealed tight."
As always, Percy The Drama King physically sealed his lips shut with his pinched fingers. I sighed hopelessly with an all-too-predictable smile on my lips, "Conwy was the family name of a secret clique who specializes in magic and spellcasting. Basically, they are mages."
I waited for a shudder, a gasp, or even a pair of green eyes wide with flummox. None of those things happened, there were no reactions whatsoever, not even when I've confirmed that magic and mages actually existed. Was he shocked to silence? I looked up confused and met Percy struggling in a dumbfounded manner.
"Uhh… What is a clique?" He dropped me a clueless smile.
I almost smacked him but sighed instead, "Are you really learning anything when Annabeth tutors you?"
Percy pouted, "That's a low blow, but really, I don't know what a clique is, so mind explaining?"
"Think of it like a secret organization or something, right?" I rolled my eyes at him, "Anyway, for a while when Jason and I were running away from home, the head of the Conwy family took us in. That was before we met Luke, and I got caught trying to use my powers to hack an ATM. For some reason, they knew our bloods were flowing with magic from the moment we met, but they never figured out what it was and why it was so different from theirs. Even though our worlds were very different, the old man there really want to teach us magic. Thinking back, I think he pities us."
"But that doesn't explain how you know Illya."
"Who said I know Illya?" I sighed as Percy jumped the gun, "When I was there trying to figure out who I was, I sometimes saw this girl walking around the halls. Her hair was snow white and her eyes were as red as a ruby gem. They claimed she is the prodigy of mage craft. That was Illya, but I never got the chance to meet her."
"So why…"
"The Conwy family was slaughtered, Percy. I- I remember one night when people attacked us out of nowhere, they are unlike anything I've seen, and they definitely weren't Half-Bloods either. I wasn't a mage, and I barely knew what I was back then, so while everyone was fighting or fleeing, I took Jason and ran away. I didn't know what happened to everyone after I left. I thought all of them die fighting this mysterious group…."
Percy hummed in response, "Oh."
"… Until Lady Aphrodite revealed Illya's family name, that's when the missing puzzle pieces finally clicked." I said, "I never recognized her until tonight, but she recognized me since the beginning."
"Wait, then why didn't she say anything?"
"I asked her the same thing too. Illya didn't say much. All I knew was that Athena promise her something, and that's why she's working with us. I don't think she was here by chance either."
Percy pursed his lips and mused, "Illya… Do you think we should ask what she's up to?"
I shrugged, "I don't know, Percy. Besides, that ship had long sailed for me. I still feel guilty for leaving that day, but when I apologize, Illya said it wasn't my fault and she didn't blame me for what happened. I asked her what happened that day too, but… her lips were pretty much sealed tight."
Percy pressed his lips together and took on a thinking face very similar to Annabeth's. I grinned to myself, wondering just how much they have rubbed off on each other.
"I guess everyone's got something they are trying to hide, huh?"
I nodded, but as surely as the sun would rise again, I knew Percy would be the one to help each one of us to face our past and come out better for it. After all, he helped me face my trouble past, and I'll always be grateful for him.
"Anyway, enough talk." I faked a yawn, "Can we go to sleep now? There is only like three hours or less before the sun rises."
"You are starting to sound a lot like a spoiled princess too, Thals."
I smiled into his chest and brought myself closer. It didn't matter if he had his arms around me or not. I felt safe just being close to him, "I want to be spoiled tonight, so get used to it, Percy."
I heard him chuckled before he awkwardly put his right arm over me, "Right-right… as you wish, Princess Grace."
He almost made me laugh, but like a tired tortoise finally finishing the race, the feeling of his steady heartbeat, his strong chest rising and falling on my head, his warm breaths tickling my forehead, my mind was put under a magical spell of blissful peace. Soon, my body followed suit. It took no time before I was knocked out cold in minutes, if not less.
….
A ray of soft light hit my eyes, something deep inside my head began to stir from beyond my subconscious and I awoke from my dreamless sleep.
"Ugggmm—"
I reached out, yet there was nothing around me but the coldness of the mattress. I searched more, my lonely fingers stretched out like an octopus, desperate for his warmth.
He was gone already.
Disappointed, my outstretch arms shrunk back to my chest. It was the same routine every morning, but for some reason, that familiar void ingrain deep inside my heart was gone too. I felt content and wished for nothing more than to open my eyes and meet another new day.
"Good morning. You awake?"
Tired as I might be, the world around me began to take on color. I was in a room not of my own. It was a motel room, the place where my darkest memories were locked away.
I instinctively wanted to feel afraid, to have all that I wished for rip away from my grasp. I was ready for history to repeat itself. However…
"You should get up before it's too late, Thals."
There was a boy with dark onyx hair standing a few feet away from where I slept. He had a handsome face, a pair of mesmerizing green eyes to match his seemingly gentle soul. I turned toward his sweet gentle voice laced with playfulness and saw him smile at me through his reflection. It was like another ray of sunshine just hit my eyes.
"Percy…" I mumbled to myself and smiled.
"Thalia," He said my name and turned around, "Come on, let's go home."
And from that moment on, I knew I would never have that same dream ever again.
