Behind Closed Doors

Authors Note: Wow that was another long wait. We got hit by a hurricane (which was actually months ago but shhh) and schools been hectic so sorry for the delay! Oh and I was really disappointed with the lack of reviews from the last chapter. We worked really hard on that one.

Chapter 4

Hermione slammed a balled up fist down on the desk that stood in front of her, hoping that it would some how magically snap in half. She could feel her face glowing an alarming shade of red and the veins in her wrist began to tense themselves. "Professor, you can't do this to me, not this time! He called me a mudblood and all you plan to do is sit there?" Her voice was strained showing that she was having a difficult time controlling her anger. Professor McGonagall looked at Hermione with an expression of both awe and anger and subtly a sense of not even much caring.

"Ms. Granger I suggest you watch what tone you use with me and how you go about treating my property. Your immaturity is not welcome in my classroom because all that you're doing is aggravating me. When I get aggravated I also tend to become irrational and trust me young lady you do not want me to act irrationally, " Proffessor McGonagal said firmly. Her hawk like eyes pierced through Hermione, giving her the sudden urge to overthrow the table and slam a text book in Professor McGonagal's face.

Hermione could see her image being reflected back at her from the Professor's glasses and realized that she looked entirely mad. Hermione sighed deeply, at a loss of emotion as she let her body drop onto the chair behind her. She dropped her gaze from the Professor and looked at the hands that rested on her lap. She knew deep down that she wasn't bothered over being called a mudblood. Or at least not bothered enough to confront Professor McGonagall the way she had, anyway. She knew it was just a way of releasing the stress that had been thrust upon her lately. But that didn't mean that she was going to forget the blonde haired disgusting idiot who she was going to make sure got a peice of her mind.

"It's understandable why you are upset Hermione. Mr. Malfoy's conduct was anything but unprofessional, unfortunately it's your word against his. And though I myself believe you, there is little I can do but apologize on his behalf. Now before you go on your way let me give you a word of advice. There will always be someone saying something unpleasant about you. It's just the way things are. Now you can choose to let those comments effect you negatively or you can choose to grow from them. Remember, every negative comment will only make you stronger. Think of it as absorption."

Hermione's eyebrows rearranged themselves and her eyes suddenly felt puffy. "Yeah, well what do I do when I can't absorb anymore?" she asked rhetorically. Hermione then proceeded to stand up and dismissed herself quietly from Professor McGonagall's office.

She closed the door to the Proffessor's office lightly and was about to walk away when something caught her eye. It was her reflection she noticed, as she approached the mirror that was strategically placed outside of the Proffessors office. She frowned as she examined her reflection which seemed even worse than when she had seen herself through the Professor's glasses. Her eyes had started to droop and dark patches started to form under her eyes. She sighed and proceeded to walk away from the sad sight she had just seen.

Sleep had become entirely foreign to Hermione the past week, as the memory of her father continued to burn in her mind. Her father had been one of the most important persons in her life. He was her driving force; her inspiration to be the best she could be and now, he was gone. What was the point of anything anymore?

Of course she had to move on, but it was so incredibly difficult. It was difficult to imagine that her father wouldn't be at her house when holidays came around or when she finally went home after her last year at Hogwarts. He wouldn't see her graduate or get married. She would never be able to turn to him for advice or consolation.

Her eyes started to water and she rushed through the hallway in hopes that no one would see her cry. Her father had been someone she'd latched onto, like a rusted screw does to a piece of wood. Now unscrewing that screw would take more effort then she thought she possessed.

She had made her way to the Gryffindor common room and retreated up the stairs to where she knew her unfinished essay awaited her arrival. She had to do something to preoccupy herself and take her thoughts away from her father. She plopped down on her chair, whiped her eyes with the back of her hand and attempted to finish the essay that was due the following morning for potions. Crookshanks purred quietly at her feet and frankly it was giving her a sudden urge to throw the cat outside of her window. Intelligently she ignored her spark of anger and put the tip of her quill against the peice of parchment to begin writing.

Reductus, one chemical from a mixture of two found in the substance Dectrominus (which was discovered by Browned Blackwood in the Forest of Glea within Ireland)…

She shook her head helplessly and slammed her quill down on the table, ignoring the snapping sound of it breaking. What was the point? None of this mattered to her anymore. What difference did it make if Reductus could cure diseases caused by pentacuoles? How would this help her get through anything that was of actual importance in life? She cradled her head in her hand as she started taking in deep breaths, trying to contain the tears that wanted to pour out from her closed eyes.

In the past she'd had such a passion for her studies, back when her father was still alive, but now that appreciation was dwindling to near nothingness. If that appreciation left her completely what would become of her? Books and knowledge were all that she was acclaimed for, what would she be without them? Hermione sighed exhaustingly as she raised a cup of tea to her mouth and wet her lips, feeling its sweet taste enter her mouth and soothed her throat as it made its way down. She opened her eyes as she was suddenly inspired in an indescribably way. It was as if that tea had eased her every tension and worry.

What was she doing? Why was she locked up in her room building up a wall of helplessness around her? She couldn't let the death of her father cause her to give up. He would be ashamed if he saw what had become of her. She couldn't let herself dry and wither in this room. She had to keep on living, if not for her then for the memory of her father. With a complete new perception and determination she pressed on with her essay, putting her father's death in the back of her mind as best as she could.


Harry adjusted his robe and gave a quick glance to the clock that hung snuggly above his classroom door.

"Well class, I'm hoping you all had a pleasant weekend and managed to do the homework that is due in 3...2...1...right about now! Come now, pass your papers to the front of your row and I'll be pleased to let you know that the papers will be graded and returned before class is over." Harry announced with a touch of sarcasm in his voice, almost suggesting that he didn't take his job seriously. The students groaned as they proceeded to pass their papers up to be graded.

"Ron, would you do me a quick favor and collect the papers?" He asked Ron, who was busy scribbling down a random last paragraph to his paper. Ron did as he was told and went around collecting all the essays, doing his best not to trip over anything. His freckly frantic face would make anyone laugh and thats just what Hermione did without even noticing she had done it.

Harry scratched the forming stub on his chin and adjusted his glasses. Hermione noted immediately that he seemed completely self conscious, almost conceited. He was running his fingers through his hair, licking his lips, and adjusting his already perfect robe. Whether he knew he was doing it or not would be another story.

Hermione, as well as all the girls in the class, had nearly chocked on their own saliva the moment they walked into Harry's classroom and saw him standing near his desk. Hermione thought he had been gorgeous before but now the only way she could describe him was godly. His hair was cut short enough to make his emerald eyes stand out and seem more alluring than before. He had allowed small stubble to form on his chin making his clean cut style seem a little more mature and seductive. Hermione squirmed in her seat, trying to contain the warm, tingling feeling that ran through her chest, down her stomach and settling in the region between her legs. She was now panting softly, and was considering excusing herself from the room when suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by Harry.

"Fifteen points to the person who can tell me what effect Dudlin's wax has on salamandonian?" Easy, Hermione assured herself as she let her arm dart up in the air.

"Yes, Ms. Khan?" Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest and letting his back lean against the chalkboard with a very suave look on him.

Hermione tried not to laugh as she heard the words 'Ms. Khan' be spoken by Harry. That was a joke right? Hermione looked over and saw Nilufar Khan's hand in the air. Impossible, she muttered beneath her breath. How was she not fast enough? And how could he not have picked her? He was probably sober; Hermione thought sarcastically, staring enviously as Nilufar put down her hand and combed a beautiful lock of hair from her face.

Hermione could feel the hairs on her neck slowly rising on their ends as she looked at Nilufar. Nilufar was, in short, gorgeous. Her hair was perfectly straight and exoticly dark. And she possesed rare amythest colored eyes that could turn even the toughest of men into romantics. She was a transfer student from a wizarding school in India. With her beauty she had easily become one of the most popular witches at Hogwarts. Also the rumor that her brain capacity was larger than Hermione's had also caused a sudden popularity for Nilufar.

"Dudlins wax contains the chemical combination of enzyme patterns that allow it to prevent the salamandonians from shooting venom from their fangs. The chemicals zetonyc, metamorphoryine, and lonegen- which have yet to be discovered by any muggle- form an elastic band on the areas where the venom is released. There's a spell that can be used to conjur up this wax but it is very complex," answered Nilufar nonchalantly.

Hermione's mouth stood agape not believing what she had heard. Hermione, the brain of the school, hadn't even known all that information about Dudlin's wax. If she didn't know it how could Nilufar possibly know it? When Nilufar's scintillating purple eyes looked over at Hermione she then realized that she had been staring at her the entire time. The rest of the class remained quiet and were not sure whether to hate her for making them feel stupid or praise her for being a genius... a beautiful genius.

"What're you looking at?" Nilufar hissed, catching Hermione off guard. She was gazing at Hermione in an almost threatening manner and Hermione quickly made up an answer to give to her. "Sorry it looked like you had something on your face," Hermione answered, trying not to stutter and succeeded. She tried not to laugh when she could see Nilufar pulling a pocket sized mirror out from her bag.

"My, my, that is extremly impressive Ms. Khan. That answer is at an unbelievably professional level so Ravenclaw gets a well deserved 30 points instead of 15. It looks like we have a new brilliant student, Ms. Granger," Harry announced glancing over at Hermione, his eyes polished with mischief. Harry could feel himself wanting to laugh when he saw Hermione's eyes open the way they did. In result he held in the laugh and it came out sounding like someone was strangling him, making the class all stare at him wondering whether or not it was a serious scenario or not.

Hermione felt harassed, toyed with, and completely transparent. How could Harry have possibly known what she was feeling? From the corner of her eyes she could see Nilufar whipping her hair out of her face to show the gorgeous, clean skin that seemed to come so naturally to her. Hermione slightly rubbed her temples and reminded herself that she had to concentrate on the class. Her full attention had to be directed at the class; not Harry, not Nilufar, and not even her father.

With that Hermione pushed all other thoughts away and began to focus on only one thing. She wrote the notes that were on the board, jotted down self reminders on tiny sticky notes, and she even managed to finish the homework that was assigned for the following day. Her mind seemed to be in overdrive as she furiously began to do all the work assigned for the day and even the work that was assigned for the next day. Once she finished she unconsciously stood up and walked over to Harry's desk to turn in the assignments she had completed. It wasn't until she was already there that her senses came back to her. She stood before his desk and looked at him nervously. Suddenly all the emotion and all the lust she had felt at the beginning of class started to take control of her once more as her breathing became heavier. Her imagination was now running wild as thoughts of him shirless ran through her mind. Images of his broad shoulders, nice arms and long...

"Hermione, I need to see you later on this afternoon to discuss something with you." A deep voice said to her. Hermione shook her head to try and rid herself of the sexual fantasies that had been running lavishly through her mind. She asked him to repeat what he had said and he did, feeling a bit out of place. When he had repeated himself she could only hear his words as what seemed like a whisper or something that came from miles away but yet it was loud enough for her to comprehend what he had said. He wanted her to meet him afterwards.

She suddenly saw a sparkle of enchantment in his eyes that didn't go unnoticed and Hermione was considering declining his request. The two stood there for a moment both awaiting Hermione's reply. The encounter between the two seemed to go unnoticed as the class determinedly did the assigned bookwork. Well, everyone except Nilufar who stared at Hermione with animosity. As if coming to a decision with herself, she stood up from her seat and made a graceful stride towards Harry's desk. Once there she turned on her charm and addressed Harry.

"Yes, Ms. Khan. How may I help you?" Harry asked, tearing his gaze off of Hermione and fixing them on Nilufar who was in a ridiculous pose that seemed model material.

"Well professor, I was wondering if, after class, I could come by and we could possibly discuss Dublin's wax further. I mean, I know more than most people but I am having trouble conjuring it up myself," she asked, fluttering her eyes prettily.

"Actually, you see, Ms. Kha--" Just as Harry was about to answer, Nilufar interrupted him.

"Oh, I insist you call me Nilufar". Hermione could feel herself wanting to barf. Insist? Actually? May I? What was this, 'Corny-Teacher-Pick-Up-Lines-101'?

"Unfortunately, Nilufar, the Professor and I have already planned a meeting this afternoon." Hermione crossed her arms and waited for Nilufar to reply or just leave.

"I think it was the Professor that I asked not you Hermione," Nilufar shot back taking her glace off of Hermione and placing it on Harry.

"She's right, Nilufar. We have already scheduled a meeting for this afternoon and it's actually a bit important. Maybe some other time, okay?" Harry answered amused at the exchange between the girls. Hermione could feel her mouth slighlty opening crookedly which was supposed to be her subtle triumphant grin.

"Yeah, of course, that'll be fine" Nilufar replied, trying not to sound disappointed. She retreated back to her seat with her hips violently prancing side to side and Hermione could feel her gaze burning in the back of her head.

"So, I'll see you this afternoon?" Harry asked, the challenge back in his eyes as he handed back her essay paper. Wait, what was he doing? He shouldn't be flirting with a student! What was it about her that drove him to the extreme?

"Yeah," she said, hesatating a bit before taking her graded paper from his hand and walking back to her seat. Had he been flirting with her or was that just her overactive imagination? And had her and Nilufar acually been fighting over him, in front of him none the less? Dear god what was she getting herself into?

Nothing! Your not getting yourself into anything! I mean he's your teacher for godsake! He wasn't flirting with you! And that thing with Nilufar was nothing! You were simply jealous of her extensive knowledge on Dublin's wax...that's all and of course that shes more beautiful... more popular...! Hermoine suddenly stopped herself from mentally continuining on.

Hermoine took in a deep breath and began to look at her paper. A plus, Hermione assured herself but when she looked at her paper there was a 75 C written in red at the top left hand corner. What!

The rest of the day had gone by too slowly for Hermoine. She hadn't wanted to admit it but she was extremly anxious to see why it was that Harry had requested a meeting that afternoon. She had just left Potions and was headed to her dormitories to drop off her things when she ran into Ron.

"You should watch were your going," he barked, rubbing the place where Hermoine had bumped into him.

"Ugh go chew on something," replied Hermoine knitting her eyebrows.

"Depending on what it is I might just do it with pleasure," Ron said with ease and humor in his voice.

"Disgusting...". Hermione softly trotted away from him reciting to herself an enchantment that she was to be tested on in Charms. Ron jogged slightly to catch up with her and didn't seem to take any notice of how annoyed Hermione was by his presence. "Ginny told me to tell you that she wanted to know if you still wanted your eyebrows waxed and your nose hairs plucked. Oh and did you hear Snapes new rule about manditory tampon usage for all girls? Hey, where're you going?" She could feel her mouth twitching as she resist the urge to chuckle obnoxiously at the jokes he was making about her.

"None of your business," she replied, ruffling her robes and continuing in the direction in which she was headed.

"Well if your not too busy Brainy, maybe you could come with me to Hogsmead. I could use a Butter Beer and by the looks of it so could you. We can sneak out somehow," he offered, actually sounding sincere for once.

Hermoine slowed her feverish pace and then stopped all together to glance at Ron. They had the strangest relationship. One minute they were ready to tear their eyes out and the next they were friends going out to go have a drink. He was so irritating but at the same time Hermoine knew he was the only friend she had at Hogwarts. That realization made Hermoine feel a deep sense of loneliness. She sighed and ran her fingers through her curly hair.

"Yeah, ok. You're right, I could use a Butter Beer," she said wearily, noticing at that moment how exhasted she actually was, "But first I have to change and go see Ha...Proffesor Potter. It's only going to take a few minutes."

Hermoine saw the disdain in Ron's eyes when she mentioned Harry. Why was Ron so against him? Till now she thought everyone liked him. Sure the guys had been hesitant at first, especially when they noticed how all the girls fawned over him, but they all warmed up to him. Why hadn't Ron. As if reading her thoughts Ron spoke.

"There isn't a reason. I just don't like him. It's just a feeling. Maybe I feel intimidated around him you know? The big and famous Harry Potter that everyone loves."

"Am I that transparent that you know what I'm thinking?" She asked, a bit dissapointed that she was that predictable. Hermoine began to walk again but didn't miss the smirk on Ron's face.

"I've known you for forever Hermoine. You've always been really predictable. I mean if you aren't in your room then your in the library. If your not in the library then your in the bathroom doing who knows what with yourself. And if your not in the bathroom then your hopelessly somewhere outside on a bench.," he answered arrogantly, keeping up with her fast pace. Hermoine, deciding it would be best not to comment and just rolled her eyes and kept walking.

They reached the Gryffindor common room quickly and Ron waited while Hermoine went up to change. She came down and instead of her unflattering black robe she had on a pair of faded blue jeans, sleek black boots and a black long sleeved shirt, slightly unbuttoned at the top. Ron took the time to notice how much Hermoine had changed since their first year. She was taller, much taller, and more graceful. Her figure had undergone a tremendous transformation as well. Her once flat chest was now a bit fuller. Her hair too had seemed to change. Though it was still unruly it now looked more like curls and less like a tangled mess. Hermoine saw Ron's contemplative eye's and wondered what it was that he was thinking.

"What's wrong?" She asked, grabbing her beige jacket and heading towards Ron.

"No," was all Ron said as he lead her out of the common room and into the hall. 'No' was all he needed to say for Hermione to comprehend and she smiled appreciatively when he looked the other way with a blush blotched across his face.

The walk to Harry's classroom was silent. The two of them had endured so many awkward silences to the point that there was no such thing as an awkward silence anymore. Once they reached the classroom Hermoine turned to look at Ron.

"Stay here, I should be out in a minute," she ordered, a bit more nervously than she'd intended.

"Why? Why can't I go in with you?" Ron asked defiantly. That disdainful look was in his eyes again and Hermoine wanted to ask why he wanted to go in anyway but decided agianst it. He looked like a child begging for something he couldn't get but wanted anyway.

"Just stay here! It's a private meeting," Hermoine explained vaguely, not waiting for him to reply.

She walked in only to be greated by the strong odor of freshly brewed coffee that filled her lungs up with its sweet scent. The curtains on the windows were drawn back to let the late afternoon rays drench the classroom in a beautiful yellowish pinkish light. It would have been a very romantic setting if there was in fact a romantic moment to back it up. Hermoine sighed.

You're so pathetic! A classroom? Romantic?

Well...the lighting and the soft fresh smell of the..

Yeah...ok...uhuh...

Hermoine shook her head slightly, trying to rid herself of those pestering voices in her head that were actually her practical-sensible sides to her. She looked at Harry's desk and noticed that he wasn't there. Maybe he's running a bit late, she thought and began wandering idly around the classroom. She approached his desk and looked at the things that were placed atop of it. Nothing out of the ordinary, just the normal ungraded papers, pens, a calander and the frame which contained the picture of his fiance. Or, which should have contained a picture of his fiance, at the moment the frame was picture-less and Hermoine thought back to the argument that Harry had had with her.

Hermoine backed away from the desk and proceeded to look around the room once agian, noticing something in her inspection. His office door was open. A strong pang of curiosity convinced her to walk toward it. Should she go in? What could he have stored in there? She knew she shouldn't have but without any more hesitation she stepped inside his office. The aroma of coffee became stronger and Hermoine noted the coffee maker pouring out coffee at a snails pace.

There was another desk in his office and Hermoine approached it noticing that this one had alot more personal belongings. There were alot more photographs, one imparticular caught her attention. It was a picture of him with his arm over the shoulders of a tall man with dirty looking hair. Obviously friends, she noted but that wasn't what had caught her eye. What had really intiguied her about the picture was Harry's expression. He was smiling. Not one of his cocky or forlorn smiles but a true, genuine smile full of joy. This smile reached his eyes making them sparkle and making him look all the more handsome. His eyes still held a note of mischeif but it was slightly masked by his obviously happy state.

"Hermoine?"

His voice shocked her and she felt herself jump and it oddly felt as if she were floating. At the shock of his voice she felt the frame slip from her hands and land, with a crash, on the floor. She cursed herself as she knelt down to pick up the broken frame, blushing profusely as she did so and then feeling idiotic that she didn't repair it with a simple spell.

"Har...Proffessor Potter! I am so...so...sorry! I didn't mean to...I was just...well..." Hermoine felt like kicking herself for stuttering. She sounded like a damned fool.

She felt his hand encircle her upper arm and hoist her up to her feet. She continued to look down at the floor, where the scattered pieces of glass lay, unable to look up at him. He then removed his hand from her arm and took the remainder of the frame from her gently, looking at it as he did so. Hermoine took advantage of the moment and looked up at him. He didn't seem angry, instead he smiled bitterly, eyeing the photograph sadly.

"You...you looked really happy," she whispered, not knowing what had possessed her to do so.

"I was," he replied solemly, going over to his desk and placing the photograph back in the place where Hermoine had found it. Hermoine's blush deepened, feeling guilty for having invaded his privacy and bringing back obvioulsy painful memories.

"I'm sorry, I...I shouldn't have been in here. I was just preoccupying...I didn't mean to..." She tried to explain not being able to control her stuttering.

"Would you like some coffee?" He interupted.

"Um, sure...I mean yes I would," she answered, noting the way he changed the subject. He strode over to the coffee pot and started to pour some of the steaming black liquid into a cup.

"How do you like your coffee?" he asked casually, as if the incident hadn't occured. He was avoiding her, she realized.

"One tablespoon of sugar. Black." After she was done talking she felt like laughing at herself. What was he now, her own personal butler?

"Black? That's odd." He murmured walking over to her and handing her a styrofoam cup.

"I know. But I think if you add anything other than a bit of sugar that it takes away from the taste. I like it bittersweet. My father used to make fun of me for it," she spoke, a whimsical smile upon her lips. Then she stopped smiling abruptly, reminding herself that her father would no longer be there to make fun of the way she drank her coffee. Harry noticed how abruptly her mood changed and spoke up quickly.

"Well enough talk of coffee. Lets get to the reason why you're here this afternoon." He began, taking a sip of his, also, black coffee. Hermione could tell it was his first time tasting it after he momentarily scrunched up his face in disgust.

"Well, you see Professor, you never did tell me why you wanted to speak with me," Hermoine replied, putting the memory of her father aside and focusing on the man in front of her.

"I didn't?" he asked, trying to remember why it was that he had asked her to join him that afternoon. Then it hit him, he didn't really have a reason. "Well you see the thing is...I really don't remember," he said, taking another sip from his coffee.

She tilted her head to the side slightly and looked at him oddly. The manner in which he had responded seemed very familiar. It sounded like regret, or resentment. Like he didn't want her there. Oh shut up Hermoine your delusional! You're overanalyzing things. Maybe he really did forget, I mean he has tons of kids he needs to keep track of.

"Well, in that case then I guess I should..."

"No actually, I do need you for something," he replied quickly, cutting her off mid-sentence.

"I need you to get me a few things." He suddenly smiled and his seemingly alligned teeth caught her off gaurd.His eyes had turned red and dark with no life in them as they had been moments ago. He scrambled for a piece of parchment that appeared to have been in his pocket and gave it to her. She observed a bulge of redness lingering near one of his nostrils and he looked ahead past her starry eyed. She was doing her best to pretend that she wasn't afraid but watching his skin become more and more pale before her eyes was frightening. Suddenly the room's temperature seemed to drop and Hermione could see her breath rising out of her mouth.

"Tell your friend that's standing outside the door to come in once your gone." The red bulge now slowly ran down his nose and Hermione quickly identified it as half dried blood. "Extra credit...". Harry muttered with a slight smile and Hermione shivered as she looked at his ghastly appearance that had altered itself in a matter of a few seconds.