Disclaimer: I don't own.
Warning: Mild language, contains and uses spoilers.
AN: Okay, I lied. I think this will end up being 4 parts. I'm hoping that I stay motivated to finish it...I'm going through an upset with the show face that makes me want to forget it existed. But...I like to write too much, so I'm sure I'll finish. :) Thanks for reading...hope you enjoy this part!
FRIENDS WILL BE FRIENDS
Part Two
December 30, 1979
Fez and Jackie's apartment
Jackie smiled into the bathroom mirror as Fez stood behind her, fussing with her hair. They'd planned to go out to lunch and then a movie, but at the last minute Fez had suggested a makeover. It had sounded fun to Jackie, and ended up being a very good call. Fez had styled her hair, done her makeup, and she looked fantastic, if she did say so herself. And she did. "Fez, you're going to be the most famous stylist someday," she cooed happily, fingering the soft waves he'd curled into her already gorgeous mane. "You're amazing with hair! I mean, look at me!"
Fez beamed proudly. "Well, I've always been fascinated with women's hair." He took Jackie's shoulders and turned her around so she faced him. "You look beautiful, my peach."
Jackie cocked her head and smiled, but oddly, the compliment and pet name didn't make her glow from the inside out. Not the way she had every time Steven called her his babydoll. The first time he had, she'd been so startled she'd been rendered speechless. No, she thought angrily. Stop thinking about Steven! This is Fez, the perfect boyfriend! "Awww, Fezzy, you're so sweet."
They stared at one another, both of them feeling wrapped in an awkward cloak of obligation. As if the moment demanded something, whether or not it was wanted by either of them. As if to be perfect, they way they were together, it had to end one specific way.
Fez smiled uncomfortably. Since they'd been together, they'd shared a grand total of four kisses, and for some reason, he wasn't eagerly anticipating the fifth. "I uh…I guess now would be a good time to uh…kiss."
Jackie cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah, I guess so," she replied.
They leaned towards one another, and their lips met softly. But just as the kiss should have deepened, both chests erupted with unpreventable laughter, and the couple drew apart. Jackie stared at Fez, her perfect boyfriend, her body shaking with giggles just as his was. And to her surprise, it didn't hurt that he was laughing after kissing her; she could see in his eyes that he was just as uncomfortable as she was. "Uh….Fez, maybe we should…"
"Maybe we should talk about this," he finished for her.
She nodded, and they left the bathroom. After settling down on the living room couch, Jackie turned to him and smiled sheepishly. "Fez, I'm sorry for laughing," she began. "I just…It's just, I mean, I thought we would be so perfect together, but when we kiss, it's like…it's like I'm kissing…"
Fez joined in. "Like I'm kissing…"
"My brother."
"Kelso."
They stared at one another, and once again both began laughing uncontrollably. When they calmed down, Jackie spoke. "I guess we're both not feeling it, huh?"
Fez nodded. "No, I guess we're not. Although I do not understand why, because you've always been my fantasy." He sighed heavily with a wistful smile. "Alas, it seems that fantasy, again, is better than the reality. Much like the girls in Playboy. Because they are not horny librarians or naughty nurses. They are all just whores." He grinned. "But good whores!"
Jackie shook her head fondly. She'd forgotten, in her rush to declare Fez the man of her dreams, that he was a bit creepy and more than a bit perverted. "So…we'll go back to normal? Just friends?" She shrugged. "I mean, I love you and all, Fez, but it's just not…it's not that kind of love, I guess."
Fez looked and felt relieved, like the weight of every boulder on earth had just been lifted from his shoulders. "Yes. Friends. And roommates. You are my Shirley." Jackie looked at him slightly confused, and he grinned. "I'm Laverne!"
Jackie laughed. The comparison seemed fitting and natural, much more so than Romeo and Juliet ever had. "Thank God you realize that, Fez! Shirley is so much prettier than Laverne, and I'm definitely prettier than you!"
Fez glared mockingly at her. "In your dreams, baby! You've seen me in a dress!"
They laughed, then both sank back against the couch, facing forward. Jackie sighed sadly. Yes, she was relieved that she wouldn't have to pretend any longer or try to force love where it simply wasn't, but she also felt a deep void. She was alone. Again. And she'd never been very good at being alone. "I'm alone again," she muttered. "No job, no boyfriend, no life."
"I too am alone, although I have a job so I'm better off than you." Fez winced when Jackie glared at him, and when the phone rang, he sprang up off the couch. "I'll get that!"
Jackie shook her head as he headed for the phone, then leaned it back to rest on the couch. Her mind wandered, much to her chagrin, to Steven. It wasn't that long ago that they'd still been together. A familiar ache began to open in her chest, one she'd felt daily since the last break up. Since the day Sam had come for HER Steven.
Tears filled her eyes. Why did she still miss him? He was a jerk! And he never acted the way a boyfriend should! He'd never written her a song, or bought her a pony, or rented an airplane to spell out "I love you" in the sky. He'd done nothing like that.
Except he'd shaved his beard for her. He'd insisted that she sleep in his tiny cot bed in the Forman's basement rather than staying in her empty house. He'd given her his favorite t-shirt. He'd wanted her to go with him to Milwaukee to meet his new father. He'd stayed with her even when she drove him crazy, and he'd always wanted her back after they broke up. Except for the last time.
He hadn't always hated her the way he did now.
Knowing that only made her feel worse.
"Jackie! That was Nina! She wants to get together tonight! GET TOGETHER! Do you know what that means?"
Jackie blinked rapidly to dispel her tears and did her best to smile at the obviously excited Fez. "That's great, Fez."
"I have to go get ready. And to practice not being so needy. Aloofer!"
Jackie smiled mistily as Fez headed off to his bedroom. "Great," she muttered as she resumed her lazy position on the couch. She stared at the ceiling. "So now everyone has someone but me." Her eyes slowly fell closed and opened. "And Steven."
She wondered if he was lonely.
She chuckled bitterly. If he was, it wasn't for her. He hated her. Almost as much, maybe even MORE than he'd ever loved her.
The Forman driveway
Donna stood frozen, feeling as if she'd just been caught by a cop doing something majorly illegal, like murdering someone or something. Her heart wasn't beating; it was merely suspended in her chest, hanging there and waiting to fall. She couldn't breathe. She felt flushed and shaky. And all because of the slightly less skinny, slightly broader shouldered boy…no, man…who stood in front of her. "I…hi," she muttered hoarsely. Dumbly. God, she sounded so dumb!
Eric swallowed hard. Donna was so beautiful. More beautiful in person than she'd even been in his dreams. And he'd dreamed of her day and night his entire time in Africa. "Hi," he said. What could he say to her? Go to her, Hyde had told him. If you want her. Damn it, he DID want her. But what could he say? HOW could he make everything better? HOW could he make her want HIM again? "Look, Donna…" He took a few steps closer to her, and cringed slightly when she in turn took a few steps back. "I just want you to know that…God, I'm sorry about the letter."
Donna shrugged, trying to be nonchalant about it, but had to fight to keep the still fresh pain from coloring her face. "Whatever," was all she managed to say. She really should yell at him, to scream at him all the things she'd felt and thought and cried about after their break up. She should make him hurt the way she'd hurt.
But she couldn't, because deep inside, she knew that he'd already hurt just as much as she had. And did.
Eric sighed and took another step closer to her. This time, she didn't move, and that made his heart skip about ten beats. "I just…Donna, I thought that I was holding you back. And…I didn't want you to give up anything for me. I've never wanted that. You know that."
Donna looked away. She had to admit that was true. It was why they hadn't married before, because he didn't want to keep her from pursuing her dreams. "I know, Eric."
"Look, I don't know what's between you and Randy…"
Donna turned back to him and rolled her eyes. "Nothing, Eric," she snapped angrily, wishing for probably the first time in her life that she had the ability to summon bitchiness as readily and easily as Jackie could. "And you know that. God." She shook her head and began pacing the driveway. "You didn't even act like you cared when I was singing his praises, because you knew I was lying. God, I HATE it that you know me so well!"
Eric went to her and caught her hands, pulling her to a stop. "Come on, Donna. Just…look, I don't care what happened or didn't happen with Randy. All I care about is us." He stared into her eyes. "I love you. I've always loved you. And…I want to fix this. Us." He squeezed her hands. "That's why I came home, Donna. I can't…I can't live without you, and I'll do anything it takes to make us right again."
Her heart wept and pleaded with her to tear up, smile shakily, and tell him that all she wanted, all she'd ever wanted, was to be with him. To love him again, to let him love her again. To go back to being Eric and Donna, the way they'd always been meant to be. But when her mouth opened, the words that came out were much different. "I don't know, Eric. I…I mean, I'm going to college. I just…I'm not sure I can handle all of this. I think…" She swallowed hard, but it didn't prevent her voice from cracking. "I think I want to go to college…without a serious relationship. With anyone."
Eric's heart dropped to his feet, and for a moment, he couldn't feel any part of his own body. "Donna…"
"No, you know what, Eric? You took off before our wedding without thinking about my feelings. You went to Africa without thinking about my feelings. Maybe it's MY turn to do something for me without thinking about YOUR feelings!"
The couple stared at one another, and both of their expressions darkened.
Eric shook his head once he regained the power to move. "Tell me how you really feel, Donna," he spat.
Donna glared at him, her heart now stopped in her chest. "Oh, trust me, Eric, you don't want me to do that. I'd make you cry." He said nothing, but turned and headed back to his house, and she stood there, numb, her eyes closing slowly then opening just as slowly.
What in the hell had she just done?
Later that afternoon, the Forman driveway
"Good to see that some things haven't changed. I still kick your ass at basketball." Hyde made his winning shot and threw a nasty smirk Kelso's way. He caught the ball and tossed it to his returned buddy. "Up for another whipping?"
Kelso shook his head and bounced the ball. "Nah. Give me five minutes and I'll get my energy back. And then I'll kick YOUR ass!" He walked over to the porch and sat down, still bouncing the basketball, and he stared at Hyde. "So, you haven't told me what happened with your hot stripper wife. What did you do to make her leave?"
Hyde rolled his eyes. He didn't want to have this conversation. Inevitably it would lead back to Jackie, and Jackie was the very, very, VERY last person he wanted to talk or even think about. But he reluctantly headed for the other chair and sat down. "Not much to tell, man. Her ex-husband showed up and she decided she wanted to be with him." He shrugged. Aside from a bruised ego, it really didn't bother him. Sure, he'd tried to get her to stay. Why not? She was a stripper. And hot. But after she left, he realized that he didn't miss her much. And maybe he was even glad she was gone. "At first I was a little bummed, but hell, she was just another chick."
Kelso scoffed, looking pained. "But she was a HOT STRIPPER, man! Damn, don't you miss all the sex?"
Hyde looked away and spoke before he could stop himself. "Yeah, she was, and not much else." He sighed. "And the sex…well, it really wasn't all that great." Surprisingly, it was the truth. Yeah, Sam had known some tricks. Some incredible tricks. And at first it had been incredibly hot. But as time went on, it started feeling like a performance, on both of their parts. It never really meant anything other than sex. Unlike with Jackie, when it always felt like…DAMN! No. No thinking about Jackie. No, no, NO! He remembered something, and chuckled. "Best part about it all was that Sam was never divorced from her ex, so I was never actually married."
Kelso raised an eyebrow. "What? Whoa." He thought for a moment, and a little smirk crossed his lips. "So that means you ruined your relationship with Jackie for nothing but a few months of stripper sex. Nice."
Hyde snapped his head towards his so called friend and stared angrily at him. "Shut the hell up, Kelso. YOU ruined my…whatever…with Jackie."
Kelso shrugged. "Believe what you want, Hyde. All I know is that I'm getting married to a hottie and you're all alone."
Hyde turned and stared at the driveway. Alone. Naturally. It always came back to this, no matter what his intentions. Hell, it didn't matter. He didn't care. Love was worthless anyway, and made for people who were too afraid to be alone. He wasn't. He'd done it before, he could certainly do it again. "So…" The silence was unbearable; it let thoughts of a certain girl into his head. "You sure you're ready to marry Brooke? I mean, MARRIAGE, man." He looked at Kelso. "And I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a secret husband to get you off the hook."
Kelso grinned. "No, man, I'm ready. You know how I know I am? Cause I don't want to do it with other chicks. Not even Jackie."
Hyde's stomach turned slightly; God help him, he still hated the thought of Jackie doing it with Kelso. Or with anyone else, for that matter. Shit, what was the matter with him? He forced himself to chuckle sardonically. "Who could blame you for THAT?" he asked snappishly.
Kelso looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you so mean to her, man? I mean, I know she's annoying and all, but god. You're brutal sometimes."
Hyde swallowed hard and avoided Kelso's searching eyes. He stared again at the driveway. "She's a bitch, Kelso." Damn. Why did even hearing her name piss him off so much? Why did seeing her make him feel like tearing something, or someone, apart? Why did he still feel so angry when anything reminded him of her?
Damn it! He didn't want to think about any of that crap! He didn't want to figure out the answers!
"You know, all she could talk about on the way to and in Chicago was you. She was all, 'Michael, I miss Steven. Michael, all I wanted was for him to tell me he didn't want me to go. Michael, why didn't he stop me from leaving?' And she wouldn't shut up about it even when I tried to distract her with my foxitude!" He lowered his voice. "She really loved you."
Hyde's eyes slowly closed and opened again, and bitter self-loathing opened a hole in his stomach. He didn't want to know this.
Kelso stared at his friend and shook his head. Hyde's jaw was clenched and his face was masked in his usual Zen. Kelso knew that meant something was bothering him. Jackie had told him that in Chicago, among other things that Kelso really didn't want to know, like things that Hyde did with his tongue that he never had and other disgusting things like that. As he looked at his long time friend, he suddenly felt sad. Despite the fact that he'd always tried to get Jackie away from Hyde, he could admit that Hyde had seemed…happy with her. And now, he just was angry and bitter all the time, the way he used to be. "Man, all you had to do was tell her you didn't want her to leave. She didn't even need to hear the word marriage." He paused. "She just wanted to know that you wanted her."
Hyde didn't move except to cross his arms in front of his chest. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to know that it could have been so much different if he had just told her that. If he had just been ABLE to tell her that.
He'd sure as hell felt it.
