A/N: The Three Broomsticks probably doesn't serve full meals, but in my story, (PoOF!) IT DOES!!
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George: I've got our Quick-Quotes Quill set so we can talk freely.
Harry: Isn't that the shit-talking quill that Rita was using?
Fred: Don't worry, mate, we wouldn't do that to you. Embarrassing you to death with propaganda we might do, but embarrassing you to death with lies we won't do.
Harry: Er-
Luna: ::blink::
George: WAITER!! Oh-hullo, Carol. (takes on more flirtatious tone)
Carol: Here are your menus. Call me when you're done deciding.
George: Can't you just stay a bit-
Fred: Shut your mouth, Fred, we're not here to see you wet your pants over some skanky waitress-
George: Did you just call her-?!
Fred: So what if I did?! What are you going to do about it?!!
::scuffle::
Harry: I think I'll get the steak.
-THIRTY MINUTES LATER-
::everyone eating::
George: Shemiuvbehpaehnseweh.
Fred: Don't talk with your mouth full.
George: ::swallows:: When did you turn into Mum, eh?
Fred: I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that.
George: Anyway…I said, seems like you've been packing some weight.
Fred: Oi, I lost TEN POUNDS this summer!
Harry: He was talking to Luna.
Fred: I knew that.
Luna: Is this an interview? It doesn't seem like it.
George: It will soon. So how many months are you?
Luna: Well, I'm twenty-two years old right now. So I would be…two hundred and sixty-four months. What a peculiar question.
Harry: She's seven months pregnant.
Fred: Is it a boy or a girl?
Luna: That's ridiculous. Of course I'm a girl.
Harry: Girl.
George: What do you plan on naming her?
Harry: Well, er-I dunno. Whatever Luna wants.
Luna: I was thinking Debris. Debris Potter…or Serendipity. Aren't they grand?
Harry: Well, er-original, I guess. What about Deborah or Serena instead? They sound about right.
Luna: Those are silly names. What about Snorkack?
Fred: Come off it, Luna, those are-those are words, not names.
George: And Snorkack? That name can get your child beaten at school-
Luna: Harry, do you want to name our baby Snorkack?
Harry: ::gulp:: Well, maybe you could-
Luna: (eyes blinking rapidly, always a danger sign) Are you the one carrying the baby, Harry?
Harry: N-no.
Luna: (voice has lost dreamy quality, now he's in for it) Are you the one retching every night because of it?
Harry. No, but-
Luna: Then tell me, Harry, two months from now, do I suffer labor pains so you can go ahead and name the baby something as silly Deborah?
Fred: ::cough::
Harry: ::squeak:: No.
Luna: (fortunately, dreamy quality comes back) Good. Now what were you saying, George?
George: ::clears throat:: That, er-you look especially nice today.
Luna: Why thank you, Forge.
George: I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that.
Fred: Okay, let's get on with the interview, people!
