A/N: The Three Broomsticks probably doesn't serve full meals, but in my story, (PoOF!) IT DOES!!

----

George: I've got our Quick-Quotes Quill set so we can talk freely.

Harry: Isn't that the shit-talking quill that Rita was using?

Fred: Don't worry, mate, we wouldn't do that to you. Embarrassing you to death with propaganda we might do, but embarrassing you to death with lies we won't do.

Harry: Er-

Luna: ::blink::

George: WAITER!! Oh-hullo, Carol. (takes on more flirtatious tone)

Carol: Here are your menus. Call me when you're done deciding.

George: Can't you just stay a bit-

Fred: Shut your mouth, Fred, we're not here to see you wet your pants over some skanky waitress-

George: Did you just call her-?!

Fred: So what if I did?! What are you going to do about it?!!

::scuffle::

Harry: I think I'll get the steak.

-THIRTY MINUTES LATER-

::everyone eating::

George: Shemiuvbehpaehnseweh.

Fred: Don't talk with your mouth full.

George: ::swallows:: When did you turn into Mum, eh?

Fred: I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that.

George: Anyway…I said, seems like you've been packing some weight.

Fred: Oi, I lost TEN POUNDS this summer!

Harry: He was talking to Luna.

Fred: I knew that.

Luna: Is this an interview? It doesn't seem like it.

George: It will soon. So how many months are you?

Luna: Well, I'm twenty-two years old right now. So I would be…two hundred and sixty-four months. What a peculiar question.

Harry: She's seven months pregnant.

Fred: Is it a boy or a girl?

Luna: That's ridiculous. Of course I'm a girl.

Harry: Girl.

George: What do you plan on naming her?

Harry: Well, er-I dunno. Whatever Luna wants.

Luna: I was thinking Debris. Debris Potter…or Serendipity. Aren't they grand?

Harry: Well, er-original, I guess. What about Deborah or Serena instead? They sound about right.

Luna: Those are silly names. What about Snorkack?

Fred: Come off it, Luna, those are-those are words, not names.

George: And Snorkack? That name can get your child beaten at school-

Luna: Harry, do you want to name our baby Snorkack?

Harry: ::gulp:: Well, maybe you could-

Luna: (eyes blinking rapidly, always a danger sign) Are you the one carrying the baby, Harry?

Harry: N-no.

Luna: (voice has lost dreamy quality, now he's in for it) Are you the one retching every night because of it?

Harry. No, but-

Luna: Then tell me, Harry, two months from now, do I suffer labor pains so you can go ahead and name the baby something as silly Deborah?

Fred: ::cough::

Harry: ::squeak:: No.

Luna: (fortunately, dreamy quality comes back) Good. Now what were you saying, George?

George: ::clears throat:: That, er-you look especially nice today.

Luna: Why thank you, Forge.

George: I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that.

Fred: Okay, let's get on with the interview, people!