Lori hadn't wanted to be optimistic about the living situation, because in her experience, optimism is rarely rewarded. So it comes as an enjoyable surprise when somehow, their odd little household just seems to click, even down to the fluffy little dogs falling into a cross-species love with Lori's cat Mittens. It helps that Princess is too damn adorable not to like, and she brings out a soft side to Shane that Lori never thought existed, even during their brief time together.
Some of that softness is due to Judith, though. It's hard in the early days because a needy newborn needs her mother more than anyone else, but an unofficial shift develops fairly quickly. During the day, Carl, Beth, and Sophia hang around, dismissed from whatever their normal routine is. At night, Daryl wakes at the slightest indication of Judith being awake. That leaves the evenings for Shane to spend with the baby.
It's a sweet sight, watching him interact with Judith with the same cheerful conversations he used to have with Carl as a baby. Shane's time with Judith is the only time Rick ventures to interact with the baby, and while it stings a bit that Rick tends to avoid Lori if she's got Judith in arms, Lori does understand. She imagines it is easier to make the mental break between 'niece' and 'ex-wife's daughter' when the ex-wife isn't present.
"Does it bother you that Shane monopolizes the baby in the evenings?"
Princess's question startles Lori, and Lori nearly spills the juice she was pouring into her glass. It causes Princess to apologize, but Lori smiles and waves it off.
"Honestly? No. It's nice, actually. I wish Rick had been able to help as much when Carl was a baby."
It's not like Shane truly monopolizes time with Judith, either, because the baby does have to nurse often. But he whisks Judith away afterward and takes care of burping, diaper changes, and any other care that is needed. Lori takes the time to nap, shower, and if Judith's sleeping, spend time with Carl. An awake Judith is still too much of a lure for Carl to abandon even for his mama's company.
"He didn't help?" Princess looks disturbed, frowning as she glances into the living room, where Rick is actually holding twenty-day-old Judith, who is asleep and drooling on his shoulder.
"Rick was working twelve-hour shifts when Carl was born, and he only got the first week off. He did what he could when he was home, but I'm not sure who was more exhausted that first two months, him or me."
"You are getting enough sleep? Enough help? Because Commander Cass won't mind one bit if some of us take some time off. Nothing I do is so urgent it has to be done during the day."
Lori knows it was offered, and that most of the adult newcomers hadn't been expected to instantly go to work. Daryl had lasted two whole days before Lori sent him off to see if the hunters needed help, which of course, they did. He's even gone out with Shane several times, and something about the trips seems to have settled the last of the unease between the two men.
"Maybe once the kids go back to school, we might see about shifting things around," Lori offers, and she isn't surprised one bit when Princess grins like Lori's handed her the prize lottery numbers. Much like Shane always craved being part of a family, Princess takes every opportunity to be part of family activities.
Seeming to remember why she came into the kitchen, Princess fetches drinks before bidding Lori a quiet farewell. Refilling her own glass with a mental reminder of keeping hydrated, Lori heads upstairs, since Judith is content and sleeping, so she might as well nap herself.
Daryl is stretched out on the bed, clad in a t-shirt and boxers, sound asleep. It is a sign of the level of trust they've built that he doesn't rouse instantly, instead blinking sleepily as Lori sets down her glass.
"Budge up so I can pull the covers back." Daryl might run so hot natured that the chill that lingers around the edges of the room might not bother him, but Lori isn't so lucky.
He yawns and eases off the bed, helping her pull the bedding back before disappearing into the bathroom. She steals his spot, which is warmer than hers due to him napping on top of the comforter, enjoying the natural scent of him that lingers after the shower he took earlier when he got home. When he comes back into the room, he just heads to the other side of the bed and lays down, uncurling his arm in an obvious invitation.
"How long do these growth spurts last?" he mock-grumbles, making her laugh softly against his chest.
"Last night was an eye opener, huh?"
Honestly, Lori expected Daryl to take the day and nap after Judith hit a cluster feeding stage that kept both of them up all night. But he'd kissed her softly and left them to sleep since Judith finally settled just before dawn. Daryl going upstairs to shower and sleep as soon as he got home didn't surprise her at all.
"She really was her normal self all day?" he asks, pressing a kiss to Lori's temple.
When she tips her head up, he responds to the unspoken request by a soft, exploring kiss that tastes of fresh mint. His trip out of the room had been sweetly brushing his teeth after sleeping. It is one of many small things he does without her ever asking, like what happened when Dr. Stevens told him smoking was bad for the baby. The doctor had simply told him not to smoke around Lori while pregnant or the baby once she was born. Instead of taking the habit outdoors, Daryl quit entirely.
Once they come up for air, Lori answers his question. "All day long. A bit hungrier, but nothing like last night. That doesn't mean that tonight won't be a repeat. It'll probably last a few days. Maybe a week."
"Guess we best get some sleep while we can then."
Lori doesn't argue with that suggestion at all. Sleeping in two to three hour increments is her norm for now. She's just glad that Daryl accepts it all so easily, because falling asleep with him as a pillow is so much nicer than curling up alone.
Her prediction of a week is one day too long, but it sets the pattern for when she hits another right after she turns six weeks old. They survive that week to arrive at a very blessed stage of development. Judith sleeps for five whole hours on the first night after the cluster feeding ends, and everyone in the household rejoices.
They've also reached another milestone, although this one is probably Lori's least favorite part of nursing a baby. With the world the way it is, she really can't complain that their resources extend to not only a breast pump, but a hospital grade electric one. Her supply is generous enough that after a week, she's got enough put away to feel safe if something happened where she couldn't nurse for a few days.
The challenge, like most breastfed babies, is convincing Judith that the milk in the bottle delivered by daddy is the same as from mama. Judith has a double helping of stubbornness from both parents, so Lori isn't really surprised that it takes a lot of coaxing. The key, unsurprising to Lori and a little disappointing to Shane, ends up being when Daryl gets frustrated with the process and offers to try.
"Lil Asskicker got used to you being the one who gets her to sleep, not the one that feeds her, that's all," Daryl says, ducking his head to hide a blush.
Daryl does cuddle Judith, but he doesn't have that sense of making up for lost time that Shane has. With most of Daryl's time with Judith being in the night when everyone else is asleep, he's more likely to tuck her in the side sleeper and watch her doze off than chatter with her the way Shane does. It works well for getting her to sleep longer at night, although Lori will never turn down the sight of Daryl's hand over the side of that little bed so that Judith's small hand curls around one of his fingers.
"And she's used to sleeping after she eats." Shane mulls that over and nods, and with the easy acceptance, the slight tenseness leaves Daryl's frame at last.
After supper each night, they practice with a single feeding, until the day Judith turns nine weeks old, and she drains an entire bottle without Daryl anywhere nearby. Shane's grin could light the room. It surprises Lori when he eases Judith off to Carl once she's emptied the bottle, though, leading her off to the kitchen.
Shane doesn't speak right away, washing the bottle and placing everything in the sanitizer to run later. As fidgety as he is, Lori knows he has something on his mind, but as she learned to do with Daryl, she simply waits. Patience is a virtue she wishes she learned earlier, although at this point, she knows even that wouldn't have saved her marriage to Rick.
"She's sleeping a good stretch at night now for the most part, right?"
Watching him fidget uncharacteristically, Lori puts two and two together. "You want her to stay with you for the night."
That earns her a sheepish smile as he runs his hand over his head. "Yeah. Is she too little for that? I know you can't just skip feeding her."
The evening bottle attempts had been accompanied by Lori slipping off to pump and add to the stash. She debates for a moment. Nursing generally takes longer than pumping, and Judith is finally settling with the bottle. Worst case scenario, Judith balks at the nightly bottle and Shane brings her down the hall.
"If we lived in different houses, maybe. But I don't know any reason she shouldn't."
She doesn't anticipate the hug, although the thank you spoken against her hair makes her smile. Returning the embrace briefly, she can only feel grateful that none of the things she feared about the tangled mess her life became were things that came to pass.
It isn't until Judith has been spirited away for the night with a softly whispered, "Try to enjoy your baby free evening," that Lori clues in that this hadn't been completely about Shane having a new father's need to have a night with his daughter.
He's trying to give her and Daryl a bit of privacy, much like he would do when Carl was an older baby and she and Rick needed a break to be a couple, not just a pair of worn out parents. The assumption is an easy one to make, with them being a couple, but it reminds Lori that they haven't just been waiting out her recovery from birth and Judith to settle to some sort of sleep pattern. No one would believe they've never had sex in the first place.
Part of Lori wants to say 'yet', but she meant her promise to Daryl back when they shifted this from friendship to romance. Rushing into sex never got her anything but heartache. But now? It can't be called rushing anymore. They've been together for months, and he's been with her through a grueling birth that ought to have sent a man not the baby's father running for the hills.
The real question might still be Daryl's readiness, not Lori's. He doesn't flinch away from massages anymore, but there's a world of difference between letting her send him into a relaxed puddle with a good backrub and having sex. They'd never discussed sex itself beyond that time he swore one day she would want it, while being wary of the idea that she found him attractive.
"You're thinking really damn hard over there," Daryl observes. "Regretting letting her go for the night? I'll go fetch Lil Asskicker right back if you are."
She knows he means it, too. While he's friendly with Shane, she knows if she's distressed about anything with Judith, Daryl's going to fall firmly in line with making her feel better, not Shane. Only Carl has any leeway there, as far as Daryl's concerned.
But Lori shakes her head and shuts the door for the first time since they took up residence here. Daryl arches a brow, looking between the door and her as she approaches the bed slowly. "I think they are concerned that we've had no privacy for weeks."
"Oh." He gets it, she knows, because he swallows hard and takes a deep breath. "I don't know…"
Cutting him off by laying two fingers against his lips, she just smiles. "I've missed being skin on skin with you. Just like I told you months ago, we don't have to have sex."
Honestly, she can figure out orgasms in the shower, like she's done half her life, if that urge gets worked up too much to handle. The combination of new parent exhaustion for them both means that those leisurely explorations of his bare skin stopped with Judith's birth, and if she's missed it, she knows he has. Reaching for the hem of his shirt, she waits for the jerky little nod he gives before tugging it off.
"Yours, too," he says softly. He watches intently as she sheds it easily, leaving her bra in place, because no matter how accepting he is about the realities of her being a nursing mother, that's a mess she prefers contained.
What surprises her is that he reaches out for her, hands caressing upward from the waistband of her pajama pants until they reach her bra. While she sits cross-legged on the bed, he continues to map the contours of her exposed skin: belly, collarbones, arms, shoulders, back. Although he's massaged her achy muscles before and after the birth, this feels different. There's not the aroused expectation she would normally see, but the intensity makes up for that.
Finally, he leans in for another of those soft, lingering kisses, and to her surprise, he closes a hand around the soft curve of her left breast. Unbidden, she makes a sound just like that purr he likes so much, and he smiles, actually smiles, which she feels against her lips rather than sees. Another flick of his thumb, and she pulls back to search his expression.
"Funny thing is, we don't need to have sex for me to make you feel good, now do we?"
It's Lori's turn to swallow hard, and she shakes her head slowly even as Daryl reaches for the clasp of her bra that allows just one cup to be lowered at a time. She doesn't resist when he eases her to her back on the bed.
"You don't like something, you'll tell me?"
- Scene edited to remove Smut from AO3 -
When Daryl opens those beautiful blue eyes of his, she smiles and asks him the same question. "Good?"
"Really damn good," he replies, laughing softly and drawing her down for a kiss. "Love you."
"I've noticed," she teases. "Love you, too. Let's get cleaned up."
That doesn't take long at all even when they shower, ducking into the adjoining shared bathroom she's grateful is jack and jill style. Spooned together, Lori falls asleep to butterfly light kisses being placed against her bare shoulder. Maybe he once thought anything sexual was in the realm of the impossible, but that's not what's important here.
It's the immense and unflinching trust of Daryl laying shirtless in bed with her, bare chest against her bare back.
That's how much he loves her.
A/N: One more chapter, which I may try to finish up before I do the next chapter of Hell. The final chapter will take a meander through all the POVs I've used during this story, giving an update of how everyone has settled in, but I felt like the Lori/Daryl romance deserved a chapter to settle its course a little more. :)
