-STOP THE INTERVIEW!-

The interview of Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood will now come to a halt, as commentaries from other interviewees are being shoed in at the moment. No need to fret, readers-the interview will continue to proceed in the next chapter. Thanks to absolutleyfabulous for this idea, sorry I didn't get to put in Mrs. Weasley!

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Note: The following responses were given from a variety of sources in a manner of ways-letters, interviews, blackmail, bribery, harassment, MURDER-haha, just kidding. Ow! Oi, don't elbow me, Fred! Ok, so anyway, we gathered all this information two weeks ago, before Harry and Luna's interview, so things wouldn't get all complicated…and, er-hold on a second-ok…here goes…"commentary and/or statements written or said by said sources do not reflect the opinions of this magazine whatsoever and we should not be legally pursued if regarding any offense of what had been said." Basically, that means don't-sue-us-please-it's-not-our-fault. Dunno why it had to get all confusing like that but-FRED, I SWEAR THAT IF YOU JAB ME IN THE RIBS ONE MORE TIME YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT:scuffle:

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Name: Ron Weasley

Relationship w/ Harry: Friend

Relationship w/ Luna: Friend

Relationship w/ Us: Heck, we don't know this guy

Characteristics: Tendency to be a tactless git, egotistical idiot, the works

Reaction: Astonishment/amusement

Interview conducted by: Fred Weasley

When did you first find out about Harry and Luna and how did you respond to finding out, specifically?

Well, I dunno, really. I guess after Christmas break, back when we were in Hogwarts. Harry told me, and I nearly had to kill him to do it. So first my eyes nearly popped out, and then I started laughing my arse off-Harry had to slap me into my senses. Then I patted him on the back and said "Congratulations, mate, really happy and all that, now let's play Quidditch."

How do you feel about Harry and Luna's relationship, especially now?

Er, I dunno. If they're happy, then that's it. I'd support them. End of story.

Do you have any feelings of resentment towards Harry since he used to date your sister, Ginny Weasley, and ended up dumping her only to later hook up with Luna?

Er…actually, to tell you the truth, I kinda have feelings of relievement. Is that a word?

Any advice for the two?

Well…no. Not really. I don't know, okay! (not only tactless, but brainless)

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Name: Hermione Granger

Relationship w/ Harry: Friend

Relationship w/ Luna: Friend

Relationship w/ Us: Tattletale and Stick in the Mud

Characteristics: Tendency to be a bossy know-it-all, teacher's pet, kiss-up, goody two-shoes, etc.

Reaction: Disapproval

Interview conducted by: George Weasley

When did you first find out about Harry and Luna and how did you respond to finding out, specifically?

I found out I had run out of parchment writing my fifteen-foot Charms essay so I went up to Harry's dorm to ask if he had any to spare, and I found them in a full-fledged snogging session. Quite frankly, I was embarrassed and dismayed. Oh yes, I was indignant too; I mean, Harry told Ron, but he didn't tell me? And I never did get any spare parchment.

How do you feel about Harry and Luna's relationship, especially now?

Well, I was a bit skeptical at first. I suppose you could say I was testing Luna back then. You know how Luna is, I wasn't sure if she was a very good match for Harry. But now I have to say that I was really quite wrong. (You've heard it here, folks-Hermione Granger admitting she was WRONG! Now that's gotta be a first! A momentous occasion in the likes of our humble magazine! Haha, Fred, pay up,you owe me 6,012 Galleons, I always knew this day was going to come-)

Ever since Luna has gotten with Harry, you and Luna seem to understand each other better. Do you see why Luna might believe so strongly in Crumple-Horned Snorkacks and Blibbering Humdingers?

NO. Well, maybe because this herb extract Luna has in her tea every morning. It probably causes delirium and hysteria. That would explain a lot, with Luna's odd behavior and such. But I'm really quite certain that no such creatures do exist, although don't tell Luna I said that, I've been lying through my front teeth to her.

Any advice for the two?

Oh, yes. Plenty. Luna, whenever Harry talks Quidditch, plays Quidditch, watches Quidditch, breathes Quidditch, just smile and nod. I've been doing it for years. And Harry, keep Luna away from the kitchen; I let her use my microwave once and she nearly set the whole neighborhood on fire. She said something about Flakyfloguluses nesting in it and that all she was simply trying to do was incinerate them with her wand. Oddly enough, Ron nearly set the whole neighborhood on fire using my microwave, too; he said it was taking too long to warm up dinner and stuck his wand in it to "speed things up with a bit of magic." They're both idiots-two days later, and the neighborhood signs a petition that forbids me to use any electric household appliances within a six-mile radius of the block I lived on, after the second incident with Luna. Mum and Dad certainly weren't pleased.

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Name: Ginny Weasley

Relationship w/ Harry: Jealous ex-girlfriend with a serious case of deep denial

Relationship w/ Luna: "Friend"

Relationship w/ Us: Our dear, sweet little sister...who better dump that loser of a boyfriend of hers or else

Characteristics: Lots of spunk, a little too much rebellion for our taste

Reaction: Ersatz Composedness

(Note that we may have…er…exaggerated a bit regarding Ginny and her estranged relationships with Harry and Luna…but not very much…OW! Ginny, quit it! I'm telling them the truth, all right? No need to threaten me with your wand, now!)

Interview conducted by: George Weasley

When did you first find out about Harry and Luna and how did you respond to finding out, specifically?

(remains stony-faced)

C'mon, Ginny. You voluntarily agreed to participate-

For your information, George, I did not voluntarily agree, it took twelve Bat-Bogey Hexes for you to sod off and then you come and drag me off in the middle of the night for this bloody interview!

Er...well, that's beside the point. Me and Fred told you you'd be getting something out of it. Now answer the question, there's a good lassie-

Shut up. How much are we talking about?

Three Sickles. Will that about do it?

(writes something down on a slip of paper and holds it up) My terms.

Bloody hell, Ginny! Whaddya think we are, made of money!

What? It's not very much.

Sorry, but I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. (A/N: Quoting Pirates of the Caribbean, hehe)

Is that a no?

Yes. I mean, no. I mean, yes, it's a no.

I'm leaving. (stalks over to the door)

Noooooo, Ginny! Ok, ok, come back. I-I am inclined to acquiesce to your request now after a sudden change of heart.

Is that a yes?

Er, no. I mean, yes. Yes, it's a yes.

Okay then. Let me remind you that if I don't get my terms fulfilled, you'll be getting a Bat-Bogey Hex again. (sits back down and snatches cue cards out of George's hands) Let's see...Hermione told me and that was it, Harry and Luna being together is fine by me, I do not feel and/or display any bitter feelings of resentment towards either Harry and Luna because I had briefly dated Harry several years ago, no, I'm not lying, no, I'm not lying when I told you I wasn't lying in the sentence prior to this one, and my advice to Luna is that if Harry tries to divorce you for some stupid noble reason, jinx him until his head falls off. (leaves)

Hey, I'm supposed to be asking the questions! This isn't an official interview unless I call the shots! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY! Ah...no need for the wand, Ginny...I mean, go ahead and...well, I'll be sending you your dosh, then… (voice tailing away)

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Name: Cho Chang

Relationship w/ Harry: Estranged ex-girlfriend with a severe sidestepping (i.e., dodging old flames) problem

Relationship w/ Luna: Estranged acquaintance

Relationship w/ Us: Hell, the only thing we know about her is that she totally sucked at being a Seeker back in Hogwarts

Characteristics: Propensity to suffer mental breakdowns and psychological collapses (i.e., blubbing a lot) and generally being an oversensitive and melodramatic twit

Reaction: Mild Distress/Ersatz Composedness

Shaky camera footage filmed by: Fred Weasley

Fred here, with my handy-dandy Hocus Pocus Has-the-Focus Camcorder©, just right outside of Cho's apartment complex. The reason for this stalkeriffic freakish behavior is that Cho hasn't responded to any of the requests we have Owled to her, asking for her consent to an interview. So me and George have decided that if we couldn't bring her to the interview, the interview could come to her! I have recently discovered that she has a Healer's appointment at eleven, so here I am. It's approximately 10:53 a.m., so she should be coming out any minute now…and when she does, I am fully prepared to bombard her with flustering questions. Hehe, the element of surprise is on my side…oi, I think she's coming!

Fred: (rushes in, camcorder and all) How are you doing today, Cho? I believe we have met before. I am Fred Weasley, head honcho of the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes along with my brother George Weasley. We are also the head honchos of a really cool magazine, hope you subscribe someday and all that jazz-now, when did you first find out about Harry and Luna, and how did you respond to finding out, specifically?

Cho: (hastily dodges the camera and tries to hide behind a peony bush)

Fred: (thrusts camera in her face) So how did you feel? Angry? Jealous? Happy? Constipated?

Cho: (runs for her life)

Fred: (chases after her, still recording) You still haven't answered my question!

Cho: Leave me alone!

Fred: I just want to ask you a few-

Cho: LEAVE ME ALONE! (Disapparates)

(Note: a lawsuit is still taking place, involving a restraining order and heavy fines, thanks to the stalkeriffic and freakish behavior of one Mister Fred Weasley)

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Name: Draco Malfoy

Relationship w/ Harry: Archnemesis

Relationship w/ Luna: Bullying Toerag (that'll be Draco, not Luna)

Relationship w/ Us: Friend (Stuffing his head down the toilet…punching him in the face…good times, good times)

Characteristics: Twitchy little ferret (hahahahaha, we've got pictures)

Reaction: Disbelief/Amusement

Dear Weasley Blood Traitors,

I've gotten a stupid list of questions I'm supposed to answer in this letter, so…

1) I had heard of this little rumor from Goyle, although I thought it wasn't true, since it was coming out of Goyle's mouth and all. When I found out, I could hardly believe it-Harry had actually sunk down another level of loser-ness? I couldn't tell who was more bonkers, Saint Potter or Loony Lovegood. Well, they do make a very good match, considering how mentally disturbed they both are.

2) I feel nothing for those idiots. I shudder to contemplate what they togetherdo in their spare time...

3) No comment. (Question was, "How does it feel, now that Harry has finally defeated You-Know-Who and kicked your sorry arse?")

4) Luna, next time you choose a husband, pick someone decent. And Harry-(bursts into laughter at this point)

Sincerely,

Draco Malfoy

P.S. I have completed the letter you requested. Now can you give me those pictures? (go ahead and take them, we've got copies, hehe)

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Name: Neville Longbottom

Relationship w/ Harry: Friend

Relationship w/ Luna: Friend

Relationship w/ Us: Well, we don't really know him…isn't he the guy with the perpetually lost toad?

Characteristics: Kind of a wuss, really, but surprises everyone with bold and daring actions

Reaction: Disconcertion

Dear Fred and George,

I got your letter. I guess I'm supposed to answer the questions now…well, I was kind of…er…well…yeah…when I found out about Harry and Luna. I am happy for both of them and my relationship with Luna was strictly platonic. I don't really have any advice for them but I really do have to go now, Gram needs me to run to the store to buy some wart remover.

-Neville

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A/N: FINALLY! I UPDATED! YES! R/R!