For my faithful readers, thank you so much.
Enjoy.
THE DAWN THROUGH THE NIGHT
Book III – Getting to Know You, Chapters 11-17
CHAPTER 14
Christine had awakened with a pounding headache, which is what crying did to her. She had spent the greater part of the night crying for Erik. She could not believe how he seemed to have dismissed her from his life; it was as if he had never loved her at all – and she knew, deep in her heart, that he had.
Of course, she had taken that love and thrown it right back in his face. How could she get him to understand that she had not known him…still didn't know him…not really. She knew an angel, which soothed her broken heart when she grieved for her father; she knew a voice, which coached her on the techniques of singing and gave her own voice the ability to soar to heights she had thought impossible.
But she did not know him as a man. After he revealed himself as a man, she had done the unthinkable and exposed his shame; she had not considered that the mask actually had a purpose…why would a man hide behind a mask? The child in her had thought it was a game of eccentricity.
She found otherwise. The shadows and poor lighting had hidden his features from her, she hadn't even gotten a clear look at the exposed side of his face, let alone what was hidden behind the mask; but his fury had erupted as a volcano and she knew he had a purpose for hiding.
He was livid; but even in his anger…he had never raised a hand to hurt her; in fact, the only time he touched her was when he held her in the grip of his sensuous voice. When she was cognizant of all things around her, he never made a move to touch her.
She had not seen the deformity in its fullest until the night of "Don Juan", when she, once again, exposed his shame…but this time, it was before the world; at least the world, as he knew it. She had not been repulsed or disgusted; in fact, the lighting made it hard to see. The opera was dark and decadent, so the lighting was low and gothic.
She saw enough to know why he felt the need to hide; but there was so much more to him than just a third of his face being malformed and ugly. His voice and eyes captured her with their uniqueness and vitality; his elegance movements and evident brilliance left her speechless and enthralled. By hiding behind that mask and beneath the opera house, he hid everything she found so attractive about him, away.
Now, she knew what he really looked like…and she was even more attracted than she had been before; and now, she was a woman…and not just a woman, but she was a woman who was very much aware of everything about him…and she knew she wasn't the only one.
She made her way downstairs, and found the other two at the kitchen table playing Gin Rummy. Christine was not very good at the game, but she tried. She had never been taught how to play cards, so she was determined to learn.
"Would it be feasible to go to him?" Madeline asked, playing her cards.
Brigitte lifted her eyes and gave Madeline an inquisitive look, "Erik is your son, Madeline. The issues you have with him are completely separate from the issues that Christine and I have with him." Brigitte smiled stiffly, "I see no reason why you can't address them in your own time."
Madeline was terrified at the prospect of ruining what remaining time she had with Erik by saying or doing something wrong.
"I don't even know if I will be able to say anything at all." She responded honestly, "I have waited for that moment for so long…" she shook her head in doubt, "I just don't know."
OOOOOOOOOO
The carriage ride proved to be therapeutic for Erik. He cleared his head and wondered what purpose there was for Christine being plummeted back into his life. He looked to the heavens for guidance, knowing that Desiree was probably watching over him and Grace.
"Does this somehow play into the will of the Lord, Desiree?" he asked the skies. "Part of me wants to strangle her for waltzing back into my life as though nothing ever happened, and the other half of me wants to pull her into my arms and claim her as my own."
Erik considered the insanity of the latter and chuckled to himself…he must be losing his mind to think Christine would want anything to do with him.
He double-checked the address, making sure he had come to correct place. The house was unusually large for a single woman with one child, but maybe there were apartments within the house that rented out individually.
He descended from the carriage, walked toward the door, swallowed his pride and nerves, and banged the knocker on the door.
OOOOOOOOOO
The loud bang on the door startled the women, but it was Brigitte who rose to answer it.
"Don't cheat Madeline; I know you do that when my back is turned." Brigitte tossed over her shoulder as she hurried to answer the door.
She pulled the door open and saw the wide breadth of a man's back. She raked her eyes over his back and admired the expensive suit of clothes and the physique it covered. He was tall and pleasantly shaped, and as he turned to greet her, she knew he would be as nice from the front as he was from the back.
"May I help you, sir?" She asked, as he took his hat off and lifted his head to meet her eyes.
The mask wasn't the first thing she noticed, it was his eyes, accusing and hurt. She put her hand to her gaping mouth and backed away from the door, allowing him entrance.
"Erik!" Brigitte exclaimed with a whisper, shock written all over her face.
Erik successfully hid the surprise he experienced at seeing Brigitte Giry again, after almost eight years. He tried to keep his eyes from sweeping over her familiar features with the longing of an old friend.
"Brigitte." He said contemptuously, "It has been a long time." His deep, melodious voice echoed down the hall; and that was all it took for the other two women to come running to the foyer.
He removed his cape, and placed it, his hat, and umbrella on the foyer table. He turned as Madeline and Christine stopped beside Brigitte and stood in stunned silence.
His heart lurched in his chest at the sight before him. The only woman whose face had haunted him since childhood stood before him. She was just as he remembered her, except for a few signs of aging.
Pride would not allow him to show his shock and ultimate yearning to go to her. He put on another mask; the mask of indifference and mistrust. He noted the all-to-familiar gawking faces before him.
"Ah yes, the familiar stunned fear that I always seem to evoke from the female of the species." He spat with a wolfish smile on his face. He heard the bitterness in his own voice and tried with all his might to control it.
Madeline could feel the lonely fury raging in him, it was the same as when he was a child; but now, he controlled it with strength of mind and will. She approached him, coming to within a foot of him.
Erik watched her approach him through narrow eyes. He noticed the limp she walked with and found he was curious as to how she had obtained it. She stopped directly in front of him.
She found her voice as she stared at the beautiful man before her, "Erik…you're alive."
"Mother," He stated with a nod, "sorry to disappoint, but so far, the dead seem as unwilling to have me as the living."
He stood erect and remote, waiting for her to dare to reprimand him for his insolence, just as she had done when he was a child.
Erik noticed that his mother was still a very beautiful woman. Her raven hair was long and lustrous, reaching to the middle of her back. Her eyes were what threw him; they had been cold and aloof when he had been a child; now, he saw compassion and love in their depths.
"My son…" she whispered, as she reached her had forward to caress his cheek.
Erik stopped her hand with his own, before it reached his face, his eyes were icy green and his hand was like steel, "Don't…." he warned, throwing her hand away from him. "…touch me."
As much as he yearned for her touch, he would not give into the urge. This woman had single handedly destroyed him; admitted her loathing of him…and yet, he could not hate her. Instead, he longed to have her love, even after twenty-five years.
But everyone and everything he loved, was always ripped from him with unprecedented force. He knew this pattern would continue with Grace, he just didn't know when to expect it. Try as he might, he could not stop himself from loving the child he had been gifted with.
Madeline felt the tears coming to her eyes, his blatant loathing took her off guard; she had expected it really, but she had not been prepared for it.
She dropped her eyes and spoke, "I deserve your hate Erik, I know that."
Erik was stunned. "Hate?" He spewed, "I tried, mother…I tried for years to hate you…just as you do me." He looked away, "But I found that I could not."
Madeline lifted questioning eyes, "I do not hate you Erik…I…"
He lifted his hand to silence her, embittered words coming from his mouth, "I outgrew fairytales and nursery rhymes years ago; don't waste their idiocy on me."
Brigitte had not said anything, taken off guard by his presence; she walked up to him and forced him to look at her, "It's good to see you again, Erik." She stated, "Regardless of what you may think…"
Erik interrupted her, not wanting to hear anything she had to say, "As amusing as this must be for the three of you," he tried to sound bored and apathetic, "I'm not here on a social visit …I need to speak with Ms. Daae."
Christine lifted her eyes to his, "shall we go to the parlor?"
"No, here is fine." He looked at her for the first time since he had arrived, "Grace was very upset that I had not hired you…you seem to have found your way into her heart in a very short period of time."
His voice held bitterness as he spoke, and he felt his heart wrench from the longing to escape this nightmare and wake up with his life having some semblance of normalcy.
Christine heard the animosity in his voice. The years that had passed had served to make him even more convinced that he was unlovable; and she was mature enough now to realize that he lashed out at others, especially those he had feelings for, because he feared the price his love would cost him.
Erik stood in front of Christine, but was very careful not to infringe on her personal space; she could tell that he still felt his face and body were repugnant to others, especially women.
"Although I hastily dismissed you, Grace has spoken on your behalf…I am here to offer you the job, should you still desire it." His eyes grew distant and pained, "I am in need of a governess…a woman who will be in charge of my household and carry the same clout as a wife would..." Christine heard the loneliness and disdain in his voice, "…but without the horror of actually being married to me."
Christine did not flinch at his words, nor did she look disgusted or abhorred; 'she is a good actress, after all.' Erik reminded himself.
"Your services would only be needed during the times that I am preoccupied at the build site." He instructed, "You will not be forced to see very much of me…" he saw what he thought was relief flood her features, and his voice softened as his eyes dropped, "…you will be paid every Friday. The money will pass to you through Nancy…"
Christine lifted her eyes and furrowed her brow at this revelation, "It would not be proper for me to put money in your hands…you are a single woman working in the home of a single man; if anyone saw me put money in your hands…your reputation would be scarred."
It was what he wasn't saying that Christine heard the loudest. He still believed his presence was repugnant to her. He thought she could not bare the sight of him; and yet, he was mindful of her reputation and frame of mind.
She must have been scowling or looked worried for Erik shifted away from her further and said with regret in his voice, "Do not fear me Christine…I would never hurt you."
She furrowed her brow and stared him straight in the eye, "I don't fear you."
He raised his chin, assuming she was lying to him; but he brushed his concerns aside.
Erik addressed her again, "Do you accept these terms?"
Christine could feel the pounding of her heart, part of the appeal of the job was being near Erik, and he was refusing her that…she wanted to finally get the chance to know him.
She could find ways to be incidentally around him; she could create opportunities.
She looked into his distant eyes, and was again struck by their beauty, "I accept."
He turned and grabbed his hat and cape, and began to put them on. "You may move your things in on Monday and begin your duties. Nancy will be guiding you through the required steps."
"Erik, there is so much that I need to say to you." She said in a soft tone. She had to say what needed said before he walked away from her, thinking the worst.
Erik looked askance at her and slightly turned his head, as if contemplating what she had said.
"Speak your mind." He voiced with interest.
His voice was so cold and remote and Christine had to force her pain down. Although the beauty was still there, the magic his voice carried was not evident in his present tone.
Brigitte and Madeline walked out of the foyer and went back to the kitchen, allowing them some privacy.
"I'm sorry Erik…" Christine whispered, looking at the floor; chastising herself for the tears that threatened, "…I'm sorry for all that I have done to you." She looked up into his tempestuous eyes, "I didn't even know you that well, and I stood to be counted with those who accused you of crimes simply because they feared you."
Erik continued to stare at her with a blank, unreadable look on his face. Her tears pulled at his heartstrings, and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms; but he hardened his heart and dwelt on the pain and humiliation she had caused him.
"I know that I hurt you…you wanted my love and companionship and I threw it all back in your face." Christine rang her hands together, hoping she did not look as nervous as she felt. "I hope we can be friends and that you will find it in your heart to forgive me."
Erik dropped his eyes and relaxed his stance, letting her know that he had heard her. His voice had taken on its magical quality when he spoke, "You were a child, Christine…there is nothing to forgive." He remarked. "I should have never pursued you."
He stood away from her and was surprised to see that she was coming toward him. He continued speaking.
"I never expected your love, Christine; that would be striving for the impossible." He smirked at the absurdity of that thought. "You reacted exactly as I had predicted you would."
He smiled. Something Christine had never seen him do, not genuinely. She noticed how that one simple gesture took the sternness and weariness out of his features. He really was a very handsome man; but he hid it under a shroud of mystery and darkness.
Erik could not grasp the look on Christine's face. He brushed it aside as shock at being near him. He came forward and took her hands in his gloved ones, "I never blamed you for anything, my dear." He gently smiled, "You did what any other normal girl would have done…" He dropped her hands and headed for the door, but paused and turned to look at her, "…you chose the handsome, young, titled, gentleman over the monster."
He picked up his cape and hat and turned around as Madeline and Brigitte entered the foyer again, ignoring Christine's indication to speak. Brigitte rested her eyes on him, so thankful to have him back in her life, even if she had to earn his friendship all over again.
"We know that we don't deserve the chance, Erik…but Madeline and I and would both like to have the opportunity to talk to you." She insisted.
Erik lifted his chin in defiance, but closed his eyes in submission, "As my daughter so eloquently pointed out to me, everyone deserves a second chance." He looked away from their searching eyes, hoping they did not see the effect their presence was having on him.
Christine asked the question that they had all wanted to ask, "What of Grace's mother, Erik…how did you meet her?"
He had known it was coming, but he had hoped to avoid it tonight. He knew they thought him unworthy of a child and incapable of gaining the love of a woman. This knowledge made him angry more than it hurt him.
He growled the words at her, forcing himself to stay calm, "I did not coerce her in any way; I did not manipulate her, or take unjust liberties with her." His eyes were stormy and sad, "And as hard as it is to believe, she loved me."
He stood proud and stern; not allowing them to cheapen Desiree's memory, "My time with Desiree was pivotal and sacred…she was a breath of fresh air in the stagnant, rancid days that were my life."
He had never felt the emptiness of Desiree's loss as profoundly as he felt it at that moment. The shadows of despair lurked in his eyes and the women present felt the palpable presence of something or someone unseen.
Erik could have sworn he felt Desiree standing next to him. Her sweet laugh and fresh smell were so vivid in his mind. Even if she was not actually there, he felt her strength encompass him and, if only for a moment, he was wrapped in her arms of love; it had a calming effect on his temper.
He looked away from the women before him, a stray smile playing on his lips. He put his hat on his head, pulled his cape around him and opened the door. He turned toward them and tipped his hat.
"Good day, ladies." He quietly stated.
They stood at the door and watched him descend the sidewalk toward the waiting carriage. He was a much different man than he had been seven years ago…but no less of a commanding figure.
TBC
