Day 40
Itachi hated touching her like this. He was barely watching her undress, but the thought rose like bile. She faced away from him, hair pulled over one of her shoulders. He turned his eyes to the walls and tried to focus only on the way the edge of the bed's frame dug into the backs of his calves.
He hated this.
He licked, then parted his lips. "We...we don't have to-"
"Don't we?" She turned, hands crossed over her chest. She was staring at the wooden floor. "I've been told...it's easier this way."
"...How so."
"Um…" she shifted her weight from one foot to the other like she was anticipating something. "I guess it's supposed to be a bit like, um, tearing off a bandage?"
A laugh erupted from his mouth before he could stifle it. It was short, more of a sharp, loud exhale. "Is that really the best way to put it?"
"I guess not."
She bent to pick up her robe. Her hair slid over shoulders in a single cascade. She paused partway through cinching the belt of it. Then a peal of laughter burst out. Even after covering her mouth, the giggling persisted.
"Is there something funny about this?" He hoped the question didn't sound so sharp to her as it did to him.
"It's just...It's just." She swayed a little. "I couldn't not say it?"
"It's certainly one way to explain it."
She lowered her arms and folded them at her waist. "Yeah."
"You could do worse."
"Mhm." Her voice was barely present.
The quiet that followed was one where words were begging to be said, like the bulge of water threatening to spill over the lip of a cup that was slightly too full. Itachi swallowed.
She raised an eyebrow. "What's your idea of doing worse?"
"I'd rather not say." He didn't want to ruin...this.
"It-it's hard to be worse than, um, you know. This."
She made a good show of trying to smile, trying to bail out the shallow boat of common ground. It nearly convinced him.
"Besides," she added, "I want to know."
"I suppose I see it as throwing pebbles at a snow bank until you get an avalanche."
"Either way...it doesn't really matter, I guess." There was a note of stone in her voice that made his skin crawl. She turned off the light as she left the room.
Itachi stood and yanked the curtains shut. He pulled on some sleep clothes. He laid down and stared at the ceiling. The air was heavy enough to fill his bones with deep, tepid fatigue. He wasn't going to sleep tonight.
AN: i'm alive, promise. switched departments at work, still trying to adjust to my new place etc. trying more meds for my busted brain and stuff too.
Hope you enjoyed
-val
