I need you

Pairing: Kodam and Abby/Chin

Spoilers for season 10

Chapter two

All of this was some burning desire to move on from his past, he missed Kono and being apart of the taskforce she used to be involved with herself nearly killed him everyday. He tried to tell himself that he was over her, but the truth was, he would never get over Kono. It was why he never could find it in his heart to file for divorce, they were legally separated and yet not yet divorced. There must be a reason why neither of them could find it in their hearts to file for one, though both were too stubborn to say anything.

It was never meant to be this way, he never meant to go behind Steve's back and betray him this way, he just knew that Kenji was not fit to lead the Yakuza when he brutally murdered Hajime Masuda to become oyabun. Becoming involved with Hajime's daughter Tamiko put him in hot water, and started a dangerous liaison with Tamiko, her father and the Yakuza.

He had to admit, he enjoyed spending time with her, and yet he felt nothing when he slept with her. All of this was a means of getting out of his own head, his own heartache at his failed marriage.

Even when he thought of Kono now, his heart still skipped a beat, thinking of their wedding day and what they went through to get to that point, he wondered why they didn't try harder to fight for their marriage and for their love. His love for Kono was still strong and it was hard being in that office where she had worked, working with the very people who gave her such a big start in her early career. Feeling his lovers presence, he sighed softly as she handed him a cup of coffee and kissed his shoulder.

She was smart, and she knew all the moves he had made lately was nothing to do with the love he felt for her, but out of loyalty to her father, and maybe retribution for what he felt a betrayal for entering the taskforce. Tamiko knew that Adam still loved his wife, it was why he had never filed for divorce and had never gotten rid of any of the photographs of her and of them as a couple.

"Adam, I know there is something bothering you.. You can talk to me", came her soft voice..

She was still hurting after the death of her father and losing her fiancé only last year, but she had begun to move on, and slowly was falling in love with Adam, and she thought for a while he was with her as well, but now she realised that Adam would never stop loving Kono Kalakaua, "It's nothing Tamiko, nothing for you to worry about anyway".

Holding the mug up to her lips, she took a sip of her own coffee and then sighed, using one hand to wrap it around the palm of her hand to keep her warm. She didn't want to have this conversation with him now, but she tried to hold on as long as she could, maybe for her own selfish reasons of not wanting to be alone after her fathers death but now.. She just couldn't see a future with them.. With her fiancé, she had seen that future, but she didn't with Adam.

Pulling away from him, she really thought he could be honest with her about how he felt, and now that realisation was out of the way, she knew she couldn't stay with him. "I thought we could be honest at least with each other, but I see you can't be honest with anyone Adam".

Turning around to face her, his back leaning on the balcony rails, he reached for her hand before she could run off, she stayed where she was but pulled her hand away, "Tamiko, I don't understand, what are you talking about?", part of him wanted to feel her arms around him so he could imagine it was Kono, and the other part, he was slightly relieved she had pulled away.

"I know you try to hide it from me and from everyone you know, but you can't fool me any more.. Adam, I know you still love Kono and you aren't over her yet.. If you were, you would have filed for divorce but neither of you have, and I honestly can't be with a man that is still in love with his estranged wife.. I might have been the daughter of a Yakuza boss, but I still deserve a good man that will love me for me, not for what my family could do for you".

Adam went to speak, but she held her hand up, she wasn't finished yet.. "You aren't a bad guy Adam, in fact, you are one of the good guys and If I could have another chance with my fiancé, I'd take it, so if there is any chance at all for you and Kono, you need to find out.. and please.. stay as far away from the Yakuza as you can Adam.. You have become a better man, don't let them take that away from you".

Before he could even get a word out, Tamiko had turned on her heels and walked back inside, and into the bathroom to shower, dress and then leave. Once she was in the bathroom, she locked the door and pressed her back on it, holding her hand over her mouth so stifle her cries. She had been falling for Adam, and she was excited for their future before her father's death, and ever since that night, she had felt like it wasn't working and that he just wasn't present with her, and looking back, she saw all the signs, she just never wanted to admit it because she had wanted to be the one for Adam but while he still had feelings for Kono, she would never be the one.

Throwing his half full mug to the ground, letting the ceramic break in pieces, he gripped the railing tight, taking a moment to calm down.. He knew she was right, deep down, he was still very much in love with Kono. He had other girlfriends before her, but she had been the one to change him, to make him a better man and to make him want to be a better version of himself. Knowing he had broken trust with Steve and even Lou, the way he looked at him when he was out there in the woods trading Kenji's godson for Bonnie, he wasn't sure how he was going to get that back, he wasn't even sure if Kono would want him back.. Maybe she had moved on with someone, they didn't talk much anymore.

He was a lost soul, in need of someone to pull him back from the brink of despair, and from the edge of the cliff…