I need you
Pairing: Kodam

Spoilers for season 10
Chapter six

Warning - Trigger scenes.. Mentions of Underage rape.

The reason why she left the island to work in Carson City, Nevada was to help take down the sex trafficking ring. They had taken down the Hawaii faction of the ring, and yet she felt that there wasn't enough of a voice for these girls, that somebody needed to stand up and take care of this issue once and for all..

It all steamed from her need to manage her own grief of what happened to her all those years ago, being raped had a stigma attached to it which is why she never said anything to anyone.. She never wanted anyone to look at her with disgust or pity, or sympathy.

Now was her time to speak up, she only hoped that Adam loved her enough to not feel disgusted or pity her when he looked at her.. Neither of them were virgins when they began seeing each other, but neither had ever told their stories about their first time to the other.. Kono was ashamed, it wasn't like in the movies or how the television shows showed a first time to be.

What she didn't know either was that Adam had gone through something similar, his father had brought him an Oiran, Japanese for prostitute so that he could /man/ up and lose his virginity.. His younger son Michael was much better suited to take over the company then Adam was, Adam never seemed interested much in learning the family business, but as his eldest child, it was his birthright to take over for him..

That experience left Adam ashamed, he didn't enjoy the sex at all with the Oiran, and though he had sex many times after that, he never really felt fulfilled till he met Kono.

"Adam, there's something I need to tell you". Her voice trembled and she felt like she was going to be sick.. "Nobody knows, not even Chin.. please don't tell him". She never wanted to report the rape mainly because she was scared that nobody would believe her.. She was a well known surfer even at fifteen, and the circles she ran in back then, there was a lot of hooking up and underage sex going on..

It was not something she ever did, but a lot of the surfers, male and female she hung with were hooking up. "When I was fifteen", Adam could sense this was hard for her to talk about and he leant over the table and took her hand in his, her breathing calming a little at his touch.. As much as she did begin to flinch when he touched her, it had been a reaction to a feeling she had long since managed to forget that had come to the surface.

Taking another breath, it was like she was ready to puke at saying this, but she needed to get it out, so he could truly understand.. "When I was fifteen", she began again, "I was involved with a guy, he was nearly eighteen.. and no, Chin, nor my parents knew I was seeing him.. He kept wanting to have sex with me, and I kept saying no, I wasn't ready.. anyway, one night, I was out with some friends I surfed with.. He came by and when it came time to go home, he gave me a ride".

Swallowing hard, Adam couldn't believe what she was saying, he already knew what it was, and he felt terrible that she never felt she could confide in him.. He squeezed her hand gently, urging her to tell the rest of her story.. "On the way home, he stopped in a spot known for kids to make out at.. We began to make out, but then when we started to move his hand up my thigh underneath my dress, I told him no again".

Eyes nearly blurry from the tears she was holding back, she kept going, "He kept moving his hand up till he reached my swimming bottoms, his other hand groping my breast.. His breath smelt of alcohol and marijuana and even though I was strong back then as well, I couldn't stop him from forcing himself onto me". She avoided saying the word rape, she hated that word for some reason when she applied it to herself, "I cried the entire time… so when the sex trafficking ring reared it's head in Hawaii, and then I decided to go to Nevada, I was.. I guess triggered.. I never was able to heal from it because I just buried it, and pretended like it never happened".

Adam's body had grown ridged in his seat.. To think that Kono had gone through this all alone, and hadn't ever told anyone what happened back then, his heart broke more then what it already was.. He tugged her hand till she stood up with him, and he wrapped two loving arms around her, his own eyes welling with tears, "I'm so sorry Kono". Whispering those words over and over again, the two them gently swaying back and forth as he comforted her..

Now he understood, the job had gotten to her, it had gotten too personal and it had opened up a wound that had never truly had a chance to heal.. "Your not angry at me? For not telling you?", her words were soft whispers, but what she truly needed to hear from him was that he didn't think of her any differently. Pulling back a little to look in her eyes, he wiped her tears away with his thumbs, and smiled softly.

"I'm really not angry.. I just wish I knew so I could have been more patient with you and understanding.. I love you Kono, nothing will ever change that.. I too have a similar kind of story, not one where I was forced onto like you were, but my father paid for a Japanese prostitute for me, to 'make me a man' was his words.. I felt nothing but shame the whole time it was happening.. I was thirteen, my brother was only ten at the time.. I didn't have sex again till I was over the age of eighteen after that experience".

His eyes didn't show any prejudice or any disgust or sympathy at her, just understanding and respect.. "I'm sorry you had to go through that too Adam, neither of us got a chance to have a normal and happy first time… It's why I think of our first time as my first real experience of being with a man that cared for me". Kono had been involved with men before Adam, in particular Ben Bass, and he had been her first sexual encounter after her ex boyfriend raped her, and though he never knew what happened to her, he was understanding and was really gentle.. "I love you Adam, nothing has ever changed that nor will it".

It wasn't till she met Adam though that she really felt true love for the first time.. Her ex boyfriend, it was more of a crush, and then Ben was more like puppy love.. Adam was the first man she ever had true feelings towards, and the sex was incredible mainly because it wasn't just physical gratification on either end. They both waited months and many dates before he invited her back to his place and that first time together had taken her breath away.. It was when she knew she wanted no one else..

Hearing her say that gave him hope for the two of them, if only they had sat down and had this discussion a year ago, he knew they had many hurdles and up hill battles, and arguments still to come but right now, they were right where they needed to be.. "Why didn't you tell anyone Kono?", Adam took her by the hand and led her to the couch, sitting down and pulling her down beside him, leaning her head on his shoulder as soon as she was comfortable.

Sighing softly, she looked up at him from her position and kissed the edge of his mouth, "My father, Chin's dad and Chin and another cousin Sid who were all in the HPD would have taken matters into their own hands and honestly, I didn't want the stigma that I knew would be attached to me as a 'victim'.. I was young and ashamed, I felt like I could have fought back.. and I just froze.. and I didn't want people saying I must have been asking for it, or wanting it.. It's why a lot of victims don't come forward, because they are afraid they will be the one to blame, not the man/men that hurt them".

Leaning in, he brushed his lips over hers just very gently and softly before pulling back.. "We might have a lot of work ahead of us, we might have days where we are happy and then days where we are arguing again, but I'm saying now what I should have said a year ago.. I'm fighting for you Kono and for us.. I know that me being involved in the Yakuza presents issues, but I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to get your trust back and to get back trust from Steve as well".

He knew a way that he could start as well. Perhaps he could be a double agent of sorts.. Make the Yakuza think he was on there side, feed them fake intel about HPD and the taskforce, but then feed five-o real intel regarding the Yakuza.. As scared as he was to face Steve, Danny and even Lou after what happened with his niece, he needed to meet with them and really clear the air with them.. "I know you will Adam.. and I'm here to stay.. I moved back in part because Chin, Abby and Sara are coming back.. His mother is not well, and because I felt like being involved with that trafficking ring was turning me into someone I didn't even like.. and then when Danny called me and told me about what was going on with you.. that was my decision truly made.. I'm fighting for us Adam, I love you so much".

Looking into her eyes, his hands resting on either side of her cheeks, he smiled softly.. "I love you so much Kono", he whispered, leaning in and kissing her again, his heart melting when he felt her shift and move into his lap, kissing back just as deeply and passionately.. Not even on the island for a full day and already she was reconnecting with her estranged husband, at that, she was horrified thinking of something and pulled away.. "What about Tamiko?".. He shook his head to indicate not to worry, "She wasn't you Kono, and she knew that.. She left, we don't need to worry about her".

Just as she was about to answer, her phone rang.. Taking it out of her pocket, she looked at the caller ID, It was Steve.. "Hey Boss", she answered the phone in her business, ready to take on anything action… "I'll admit, I missed hearing that". Kono chuckled and moved off Adam's lap to talk to Steve.. "What's up?", she already knew what he would be wanting.. "Is our boy ready to talk yet?" Steve still wanted Adam to know that he was going to give him the benefit of the doubt.. "We can do it there.. Danny and I just want to clear the air with him and figure out what's going on". Adam having heard Steve's side of the conversation nodded his head and Kono put it on speaker.. "I'm ready Steve.. You and Danny can come in".

He had sobered up a lot over the last few hours since Kono turned up and now he was ready to finally face the music, hoping that he hadn't destroyed what he had with five-o.. He did want to turn the Hawaii faction of the Yakuza around, and he knew that beating Kenji was the only way, but he did need Steve's trust and approval.. He just hoped it wasn't too late to fix things with the rest of his five-o team mates.