Chapter Three
"When I was fourteen, it was a mighty special Christmas.'' Jess's expression was a mix of pleasant recollection tinged with bittersweet emotion. "Ma surprised us with a store-bought present. The wrappin' was a dishtowel. It was layin' there in the middle of the kitchen table. …Pa was stokin' the fire, tossin' a couple logs in the fireplace. And Ma was holdin' my baby sister, Chloe. She was about four and a half then." Jess had a melancholy smile. "Sweet little thing. So bashful. Had them big brown eyes, just like Francie. They both took after Ma that way."
He pursed his lips and looked at the floor. As they waited for him to go on, Slim felt a tightness in his chest as he sensed the intensity of Jess's emotions.
"Then… Ma gathered us four older kids around the table and told us to each take hold of a corner of the towel where they were all folded up to a point in the middle. Then, at the same time, we all peeled back our section. And in the middle of the towel… there was five peppermint sticks."
Again Jess stopped, his eyes shining as though he were standing at the table again and seeing the treat for the first time. "I couldn't hardly believe my eyes. I'd never had any candy. Heard other kids talkin' 'bout it once in a while. Seen it when I went to the general store with Ma a couple o' times. But Pa said we didn't have the means to spend on somethin' so foolhardy, and anything that went in our mouths had to be food meant to keep us healthy. 'Sick young'uns can't be much help around the house or the field or the range,' he said."
Andy's mouth dropped open. He couldn't imagine being fourteen years old and never having had a single bite of candy.
Jess took a short breath. "Well… you can bet we were mighty thrilled at that present. Even Pa was smilin'. That made it even better, knowin' Pa gave Ma the go-ahead to git us a treat like that. We all held our stick of candy, and we were talkin' 'bout what a great Christmas it was."
He smiled again. "Chloe and my littlest brother, Benjie… he was just turned six… well, they were so young they didn't even know what candy was, but they were excited just 'cause the rest of us were. Ma said we had to wait till after supper before we could try them sticks. But just knowin' we had 'em and thinkin' 'bout the first taste that was gonna come soon… well, that was part of the fun. We were all smilin' and laughin'."
Jess paused again, a look of tenderness on his face as he remembered the scene. "But then poor little Benjie went and dropped his candy." He glanced at Slim. "You ever seen an adobe floor? Well, when that porous little sugar stick hit that rock hard floor at just the right angle, it splintered into the tiniest shards you ever did see. Almost like peppermint dust around Benjie's feet. He stood there starin' down at that mess, and he started caterwaulin'."
Again, a faint smile formed on Jess's lips. "That little guy sure could put up a fuss. If he ever lost a toy or somethin', he'd let ya know it all right. Had quite a temper for such a young'un."
Jonesy and Slim exchanged a quick grin. They could imagine another Harper who'd had quite a temper at a very young age.
"And when that candy broke… boy howdy, did he ever wail." Jess shook his head slightly, and then the smile slowly faded. "So, I gave him mine."
The only sound in the room was the crackle from the fire, until Andy couldn't resist commenting. "Wow, Jess. That was sure nice of you to do that. Seems like that would make you want to get your hands on some more candy as soon as ya could. But you've never even tried a peppermint stick?"
"Nope. Francie offered to share hers with me. But our sticks weren't solid like these ones you gave me, Andy. They were brittle and porous and mighty short to begin with. And real thin. I didn't wanna trim down some from nobody else."
A wistful look entered his eyes. "Plus, the best part was… Ma set Chloe down b'side o' Francie, and then she come over and stood in front of me." His voice softened. "She held her hands on each side of my face… and she told me I had a good heart …and she was proud of me. …Then she kissed my forehead." Jess pressed his lips into a tight line and looked away quickly, blinking fast.
After a deep breath, he continued, "Every time I see peppermint candy, it makes me remember Ma's eyes shinin' at me… and her words… and her touch. I see candy sticks, and I see all of us. Ma, Pa, my brothers, my sisters… me. Just the way we all were that Christmas. I don't have any photographs of my family. So I have to hold on to that picture of 'em that's in my mind. And the feelin's that come with it. …I ain't never wanted to taste peppermint… 'cause the me that's in that picture never tasted it. And if somethin' changes…" Jess shook his head, his brow furrowed, as though trying to make sense of his own feelings. "…then the picture won't be the same. …And I might lose it. Or lose the feelin's from that day."
His cheeks turned a light shade of pink with embarrassment. "Might sound like pure nonsense… but even with all the years that's gone by… givin' up the chance to taste peppermint candy… well, it brings back that Christmas and the feelin' of puttin' others first." He raised his eyes to Andy. "That's a mighty good feelin'."
Andy nodded. The lump in his throat was too big for him to get any words past. And his eyes suddenly stung from the mist gathering in them.
Jess directed his view toward the Christmas tree. "Sure glad I could help to make that Christmas happy for my little brother." His voice became a mere whisper. "Last one I had with 'em."
Suddenly, he stood and turned his back to the others. He leaned one forearm against the mantel, almost as a support to steady himself, and quickly dragged his other sleeve across his eyes.
Jonesy sighed quietly, and Slim cast a brief glance at him, noting the sympathy and respect in the older man's eyes as he gazed at Jess. The big brother turned his head toward his little brother and saw tears trickling unheeded down Andy's cheeks. Then, swallowing hard to still his own emotions, Slim looked back at his pard. After a few quiet moments, Jess retook his seat and, eyes closed, held Andy's gift like it was a treasure.
Slim wasn't sure what to do. The moment was solemn, as they all realized this was the first time Jess had ever willingly shared any kind of memory with them. And the one he had chosen to reveal was precious to the Texan. It was emotional for them to hear and must have been heart-wrenching for Jess to tell. He was good at stories. He could always spin a good yarn. But this was different. This was a reminiscence that reached into the depths of the man's soul. And Slim felt his friend honored his family in the telling. There was almost a sacredness to it. So sacred that Slim didn't know what should follow.
