AN: This was supposed to be a one-parter, but with so many reviews (thank, thank you, thank you) asking for asequal, who could resist? I couldn't. So, for you to enjoy...Chapet II in Harm's pov.
By the way: some of you gave me a lot of things to consider while writing this new chapter. I hope you can all relate to the way I decided to pick the story up.
Five thousand four hundred and eighty nine
Chapter II: Harm's POV
I hate packing. Not even the reason I'm packing can make this bearable; I simply despise packing. Maybe it's because now that I'm about to make a huge career-move, and it forces me to look at all the stuff I've gathered in my life, I suddenly see the surroundings more clearly. And I don't like what I see.
I see a man whose whole life has culminated nothing but his career moves. At the age of forty-two, there's little else to be proud of. Except for my soon to be official daughter, fighting with every bit of willpower she has to make a full recovery, I have nothing resembling a private life. If I can make a positive difference in Mattie's future, than at least Harm Rabb will have done something in his life that didn't just benefit him.
Other than Mattie, I have accomplished nothing though. Because not the bars, not the wings, not the rank should make me the man I am. And yet, it's all I have. With nobody to blame but me. I mean, I know my night vision was restored, but I still can't seem to see what's right in front of me. When it comes down to her, I'm still moving in the dark.
Five thousand four hundred and eighty nine miles. For one small moment, a fraction of a second, I found myself smiling when Mac named the exact distance between the two cities that will soon be separating us. Just like her to know something like that to the detail.
So I smiled, until reality once again sank in. Tomorrow, that number will no longer be just an abstract number, but grave reality. I'll be in London, she'll be in San Diego. Both beautiful cities, where we'll be building ourselves a new home with new social networks around us. Where our new jobs will challenge us and keep us occupied to the max. It'll be exhilarating, especially since we need to prove our value among new faces and high expectations. We'll both live up to them, I'm certain about that. But the high of a new job, no matter how successful you are, can quickly subside if you have nobody to share it with. Even if I have Mattie. Mac doesn't have anyone.
Will she be lonely? Will she want to keep in touch, even if it's just to let me know how she's managing, to give me a small glimpse of her life? Putting me at the sidelines looking in once again, but I'll settle for it if that's all she's willing or able to give.
Or will she find someone? There's no denying she's not just a fine Marine; she's a marvelous woman too. I'm sure I'm not the only male specimen who'll recognize her beauty, her wit, her charm…you know…the whole package. She should have no trouble whatsoever on the wedding market. One can only hope the man of her choice will be worthy of her; she has yet to find the one guy that could fit that bill, if you ask me. But the thought that one day she might makes me sick. Call me a Neanderthal, but I don't want her to find him at all. Not when she and I both know she ought to be mine.
Reality check nr….whatever. When it comes to her and my conscience, I've lost count years ago. Years in which I always come up with just one conclusion. I want Sarah MacKenzie to be mine. I want it all. They can make me Admiral tomorrow, I could run for president next week, but whatever my career can give me, no matter how many bars they can put on my shoulders; it just won't mean anything if she's not there to support me, to elate me and to keep me grounded. With Mac around, I can have the best of all worlds; my feet firmly on the ground, my head in the clouds.
I know suddenly with shocking finality that I might have run out of time. That we have issues to address and that I have to make it happen fast. There's no more time to be dancing around the subject, no more time to be waiting until she thinks she's ready.
Someone's here. Before I turn to acknowledge the distinct presence of the person at the door, I know who it is. Now let me just keep my fingers crossed that her heart's not set on a definite goodbye, that's she's ready to accept all I'm offering, meaning all of me. Cause I've just made up my mind: We're not going anywhere before we've worked it out somehow. Neither do I care where we end up. London sounds terrific, but if the calculation London minus five thousand four hundred eighty nine miles equals Sarah, then I know what to do (I've done it before), promotion be damned!
So...what do you think? More to come? You decide. Flip a coin if you have to...
