Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. The greatest author in the world, Terry Pratchett, owns them.
"Come in Fred," said Vimes, as he heard the creaking of planks outside his door that meant Sgt. Fred Colon was preparing to knock. Vimes was smoking a cigar, whilst Gooseberry sorted out the paperwork.
"Mister Vimes, there's a towel... I mean Klatchian, downstairs to see you."
After the "war" in Klatch last year, all watchmen refrained from insulting foreigners. Well, some of them refrained from it anyway. In Vimes' hearing, that is.
"'E looks like a right bas... 'Ere, I told you to wait downstairs."
71-hour-Ahmed grinned evily. "Oh, I do apologise. However, Vimes here will tell you that I never do anything by the rules."
Vimes sighed. "You never have. Thanks Fred."
As Colon left, Ahmed took the vacant seat in front of the large desk. "Vimes."
"Ahmed."
"How have you been?"
"Fine. Yourself?"
"Excellent."
"I see you're still wearing the big sword. Take it downstairs an I'll give you a receipt, just like I promised."
Ahmed grinned wider at the mistrust in his colleague's eyes. "I'm in hot pusuit. Anyway, did I ever make you surrender your truncheon when you, that is, we, were attempting to arrest the most powerful men in the world?"
"It wasn't an attempt. We succeeded."
"We did rather."
Vimes grinned back at his, well, I suppose you could call him a friend. "You're in hot pusuit of what?"
"A camel theif. Over 200 valuable camels have gone missing over the last 2 months. However, the case is all wrapped up, I just thought I'd pop in and say hello."
"It's over? So you're technically not in hot pursuit are you?"
"That doesn't mean I'm going to give you the sword."
"I'm letting you off. But only this time, and only because you're a friend. So what did you do with the camels?"
"I put them on a boat, headed for my homeland. Jabbar should find them useful. Except one, which I didn't put on the boat."
"What did you do with that one?" asked Vimes suspiciously.
"Bloody hell! There's a damn camel eating my paperwork!" came the unmistakable voice of Cpl. Nobby Nobbs.
Ahmed grinned. "I rode the last one here. A... present for you."
"Ah. Just for my information, and not because I'm in any way angry, suspicious, or otherwise feeling negative emotions towards you, did you know that the Patrician is coming to inspect the wages bill today?"
"Oh no. Would I have come if I knew?" Ahmed looked innocent. Too innocent.
"Probably."
Just at that moment, from downstairs, came the dreaded voice of Lord Vetinari.
"Why is a camel eating the wages bill?"
Fred Colon could be heard, trying to make up a plausible lie.
"Umm... Mister Vimes did say he wanted to cut down on the paperwork, sir."
"Damn you!"
"What's a small thing like a camel between friends?"
"Small thing? Damn you!"
