Friends

Disclaimer: Castlevania belongs to Konami, not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Alucard . . . then he'd be mine.

Rating: PG-13

Part: Three of Three

Authoress Note: Lisa tries to enforce friendship on her husband.

So originally this story was supposed to be a chapter of Dracula suffering Human friendships and then a time jump to Adrian doing so. However, Drac took over. So with that in mind, I imagine that Adrian will get his own story in the form of a sequel.

Italics = thoughts and flashbacks

Chapter Three

Work Text:

There was only so long he could sit looming behind Lisa before she 'encouraged him to see what the other husbands were doing.

Dracula was conflicted. On one hand, he'd rather not be involved with topics regarding 'human women's peasant life' but he also had little interest in the male aspect of that life. Plus, wasn't this whole exercise meant to be so he could meet with Lisa's friends? Not her friend's husbands.

But overall, it was a simple request, so he stood and bowed to the women, which got him another laugh for some unknown reason, and departed for the smoking room'. There was quiet chatter in the room, which abruptly ended when he opened the door. The men stared, wide-eyed and afraid, as he came in slowly and closed the door. When he turned to face them, he had to stop himself from smirking. They looked like rabbits caught in the glare of a wolf.

He was about to sit in an effort to appear slightly smaller when one man surprised him by walking forward and offering a hand.

"Thank you for welcoming us into your home." He spoke with the air of someone who had practiced the statement repeatedly.

"You're most welcome." Dracula dipped his head. "Both to my home and…" he trailed off, glancing around spotting the untouched cigars. "No one smokes?"

The men looked at him wide eyed and he could practically read their minds. They were afraid of offending him by refusing a 'gift'. He smirked. "I don't see the point," he said and watched with quiet glee as the men relaxed.

"It's not that no one smokes," one man offered. "But we don't smoke these."

"Cigars?" Dracula raised an eyebrow.

"Never heard of them," another man said, and Dracula nodded, realising his error.

"I see. In that case, do you drink?" This time let his glee show when all the men visibly perked up.

"That we do," the bold man said, reaching again for Dracula's hand and shaking it vigorously this time. "That we do."

"Then allow me to offer you a refreshment." Dracula turned and left the room before summoning barrels from the store below the castle. It wouldn't do to terrify the men by pulling barrels of beer from the shadows. He hefted the barrels under his arms easily and nudged the door open.

"Holy hell," one man said, clearly pleased at the volume of beer on offer.

"There are cups in the far cupboard," Dracula said after summoning them to be in the cupboard that usually sat empty. He watched as the men opened the barrel and silently filled cups before settling down. Once everyone had one, he helped himself to not seem out of place.

"My names Griff," the bold man said.

"Vlad," Dracula nodded.

"So, tell me," Griff asked. "How long did it take your wife to convince you to do this?"

"Took mine three days," one of the other men spoke.

"I didn't bother arguing," another said.

"Lisa didn't tell me of your arrival until an hour ago." Dracula admitted. This caused the room to fall deathly silent before Griff started laughing and the others joined in.

"I guess it doesn't matter who you are," Griff said when he stopped laughing. "When the wife tells you to do a thing you do it, be you peasant or king."

"I'm no king. But I take your point. Arguing with Lisa is an exercise in futility at the best of times, let alone when it's something she really wants."

"She's a bold one, your missus," another man laughed. Dracula squashed a bubble of anger that sparked at the words.

"You do not have to tell me this."

"I heard she kicked your door down," another said.

"Have you seen my door?" Dracula said sharply without thought. "I'd like to see you kick it down." The men looked sheepish. "No, she banged on the door with the hilt of her knife, walked in, and almost immediately started yelling at me."

"She yelled at you?" Griff said.

"Not literally." Dracula waved a hand. "She gave me a stern talking to when my hospitality did not meet her high expectations."

"She gave my old dad a 'stern talking to' when he wouldn't take the medicine she gave him," another of the men laughed. "I've never seen him look so low."

"Did he take the medicine?" Dracula asked.

"That he did and within a week his breathing was easier, and he was back to work." The man smiled. "She's a clever one."

"That you really do not need to tell me." Dracula watched as the men continued to help themselves to the beer. They were visibly relaxing, probably because of the strength of the alcohol, and he had a sudden fearful thought that Lisa would be irritated at him for getting the men drunk.

"You've got the look of a man who just realised he's in trouble," Griff said knowingly.

"You are observant," Dracula nodded. "My wife may not be best pleased if I inebriate all of my guests." The men froze and looked worried, like he might rescind the offer of beer. He waved his hand. "She will learn it is not wise to put me on the spot."

"If the worst you do when put on the spot is get us drunk, then I'm thrilled."

"Better than putting us on sticks," another said. Dracula pretended not to hear him.

"I imagine some food would be wise." He stood up.

"There's food here?" one man asked. Dracula laughed.

"Yes." He could not stop himself from showing his teeth. "There's always food here."

He remained with the men for the better part of an hour, answering questions as he had with the women and watching them demolish a platter of meats and cheese (he sent a twin of this platter to the women's sitting room along with several carafes of wine). However, when the questions became distasteful, and the requests became foolish, he beat a hasty retreat.

He walked past the ladies' sitting room and listened to the tipsy laugher through the door for a moment before wandering into the hall. It was still and quiet here. He could pass the time without incident or interruption. Perhaps he'd pick up that book on wildflowers Lisa had been pestering him to finish.

"What are you doing?" a voice said. He turned and looked at the boy behind him. The child was possibly eight or nine years old, and his heart beat slow and steady, no scent of fear on him. It was refreshing.

"I'm hiding." Dracula decided honesty was probably the best policy in this situation.

"Who from?" the boy asked.

"My wife, her friends and her friend's husbands." The boy nodded.

"You're Dracula," the boy said. "You're very tall. My mum said I had to be extra polite to you because you might be dangerous. I'm not afraid of you, you're just tall."

"Thank you." Dracula was unsure if the child's comment was meant as a compliment, an insult of a general observation.

"I'm going to be tall when I'm grown," the boy said. "I'm already the biggest here."

"So, I see."

"The little kids are playing hide and seek. But the really little ones are getting tired, you can tell because they get angry."

"Ok."

"I'm looking after them, but I don't think they'll sleep just because I tell them to." The boy sighed, sounding as if he held the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Mother tells the little ones stories to get them to go to sleep, but they've heard all my stories."

This kid was a shyster and not a very good one.

But it was a good reason to stay hidden.

"I may be able to assist." Dracula sat, putting his back to the column. "Find and bring them here."

"You know good stories?" The boy didn't sound convinced. "Mother will be angry if you tell them scary ones."

"I know plenty of stories. Not all of them are scary."

"Ok then,"

That was how Lisa found him, an hour later, with a collection of small sleeping children dotted around, listening to him read aloud from one of his books.

"I doubt children are interested in botany," Lisa said.

"I didn't start with botany." He marked his page. "I started with stories about the silent forest, but when I stopped, the little wretches woke up, so I found a compromise."

"Wonderful." Lisa sat next to him, awkwardly given her condition. "Well, this was a failure."

"Failure?" He frowned. "Everyone was in good spirits when I last checked, and no one is dead." Lisa looked at him hard, her expression blank. "What?" he asked.

"Everyone is drunk," Lisa said. "Three of the ladies are asleep, and I think Griff is naked and wandering the hallways."

"Oh." Dracula concentrated on not smiling. "Well, good spirits are not inaccurate."

"Is this how all our house parties will be? You hiding with the children after getting the guests black out drunk and leaving me to sort them out?"

"I didn't intend to get them drunk."

"You sent eight carafes of win into the room." Lisa nudged him.

"Only because I had to distract the husbands with beer and cheese. They were about to soil themselves. It was embarrassing." He shrugged. "I felt that the ladies should have refreshments as well."

"Eight massive jugs of wine are not 'refreshment'."

"There were seven of you," Dracula said.

"Do you know how much wine these ladies normally have, cause it's not a lot," Lisa said. Dracula smirked.

"Your friends can't handle their booze."

"Admit it, you only got them drunk because you didn't know how to deal with them." Lisa leaned on his shoulder.

"Perhaps," he admitted. "It backfired slightly, though. Men get bold when drunk. One of them wanted to arm wrestle me. I thought it wise to retreat at that point."

"You ran away."

"Yes."

"And now we have drunks wandering the halls and sleeping in doorways," Lisa sighed. "We should provide either bedding or a carriage or something."

"We'll take care of them for the night," Dracula said. "It is, after all, my fault they are in no state to go home."

"You're a good man." Lisa yawned, closing her eyes.

End Chapter Three

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