Thanks to Amberhawk, Zukofan5, and Fritters-4-Psi for reviewing! And Bard Child and tornesun from DH as well…

Slight edits in the last chapter. I had forgotten that this happened before the North Pole incident so I changed all the 'Omashu's with 'the North Pole.'

Disclaimer: If I owned Avatar, season 2 would be out and DVDs of all of season 1 would be available to purchase.


Chapter 4 – Give me a Reason to Live

There was a time for everything, she mused. Facedown in the pillow, she breathed out and shooed the dog away from her. He growled softly before licking her ear, earning a smack to the face.

"I'm trying to sleep," Lian hissed out.

Whining, he retreated outside and left her to dwell.

Sighing, she rolled onto her back, staring at her cracked ceiling. She forced her eyes closed, breathing deeply and evenly. Insomnia always liked to come and drag her down during times she needed sleep. Lian kept her mind clear, figuring if she couldn't sleep, she could at least relax for a couple of hours.

Disease…

The word flashed into her mind, creeping out of some hidden niche. Frowning, she rolled onto her side. The woman kept her eyes shut, wishing away the memories that popped up.

Wench…

Lian surged at that one, biting back the curse she wanted to utter. She could've been a real medic, one who could've helped her own parents in their time of need. But humans annoyed her, irritated her to no end. Many were never grateful for the wonders she performed on their beasts, almost to the point where they claimed they could've done it themselves. Creatures gave her their own kind of praise that mattered more to her than anything else.

She lay back down, staring back at the ceiling. The only reason she had inherited the farm was because her mother had died of an infection before any more kids. Her father had died several years later, widowed but unwillingly to marry again, of a broken ribcage that tore his lungs up. A rhino had slammed into him with enough force to kill him painfully.

The woman vaguely remembered they had killed the Komodo Rhino after that.

Her mind began to drift slowly, letting her relax finally. She enjoyed the slight silence.

"It'll all come crashing down one day. And then, you will be nothing but an insect under my foot…"

Gasping loudly, Lian shot up on the pallet. She formed a weak flame in her hand, ready to strike the invisible voice. Her room met her painfully, images flaring around her. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her brow and curled back up on the pallet.

"Give me a reason for living," she whispered, eyes closing again.

A howl sounded and a smile graced her.

"And I'll keep going."


Given the time of day, he should've been surprised when the woman glared at him, looking like she had just crawled out of bed. She grumbled something before disappearing back inside the small house. Zuko waited for her, keeping quiet as she finally came back out. Shing went back to his post and Lian walked right past him. His eyes followed her as he opened the pen of a Komodo Rhino and stalked off.

Grunting, the animal followed after her, shoulders rolling when he walked. Muscles moved underneath his skin but he trailed after her like a lost puppy. He groaned and gave her an almost teasing poke to the back.

She turned and slapped him but it didn't do much to his thick skin. His head moved all the same and he seemed to smirk at her.

"Shut it, Bao. I don't need you being a smart ass," she growled.

He gave her a grunt and trotted behind her.

Lian opened a large gate, whistling at him. "Get your ass in there and have fun."

Zuko couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not but he lumbered inside the gate and started moving at a trot into the field.

The woman faced him now, still looking cross. He just watched her as she shook her head and stalked into the barn, growling softly. She kicked a rock on her way down and didn't stop until she was fully inside the barn.

The prince strode after her, keeping his distance until she calmed slightly. Women were dangerous creatures when they were mad, especially Firebender women. He stared as she hopped the wooden panels and rubbed the two calves' faces. Li watched her carefully, tail thumping the ground as a warning.

It was a while before Zuko approached them, watching the calves as they rubbed themselves against her. Both regarded him for a moment before one began suckling Li and the other stared at him. The calf walked up and seemed to smile at him, a tongue snaking out and licking his hand. He petted the creature, earning a groan of content from it.

"That one's the sweetest one I've ever met," she remarked, scratching the calf's tail. "The other one's cautious and calculating. A fine war beast."

Snorting, the other calf paused in its meal and watched her with large, black eyes. It grunted and continued, ears twitching to follow her movements.

"That's if, of course, it's a male but I still don't understand why anyone would think a male is a better war specimen," Lian said.

"They're naturally stronger," he responded, watching the way she smirked.

"But females can read people and other more. An in heat female will distract a male rhino to the point that he abandons all other duties to chase her. Females know when they are beat and fall back, especially when their rider is injured. They might not be as strong, but they are faster," she put in, scratching the rhino under its chin.

"I would like to ask, if these are both females, would you take them?" Lian questioned, watching his face.

Zuko stared at the rhinos, biting his lip. He didn't answer her though and let the silence speak for him.


Fate had a funny way of screwing things up. Luckily, it wanted to be nice today.

The trio of kids showed up only minutes after the exiled prince had left. All three of them looked to be in happy spirits, the strange black and white creature curled around the bald one's shoulders.

Fate decided to deal them blow.

She cleared her throat as Shing led them to her, looking grim and unhappy. Lian had been checking on the bison a few times a day, always when Zuko was gone. There were some things she liked to keep secret, especially after all of the rumors she had heard going around.

"Avatar," she said, watching the boy blink and nod. Well, that answered one rumor. "Your bison won't recover until tomorrow."

"What's wrong with Appa?" he asked, looking like she had just destroyed his world.

An eyebrow rose as she sighed. "He has a small fever but it should go down by tomorrow morning. The cyst has grown back and I'm fixing to drain it again. I'll sew it up as well but he shouldn't strain himself with the stitches in."

The kid pouted and she rolled her eyes. "He's been bothering me all day." Lian waved her hand.

He seemed to understand and he bolted off for the bison, squealing as he hugged the giant.

Lian rolled her eyes again and stopped when she noticed the two Water Tribe kids watching her. "Yes?" she asked, backing up slightly as the boy looked ready to kill her.

"You're with the Fire Nation," he stated, glaring at her.

"No shit. What was your first clue?" she remarked sarcastically. She was getting tired of people stating the obvious.

He stalked up to her, pausing when she snorted at him, smoke billowing around her. The animal healer's head moved slightly, a threatening gesture for many horned animals. Living with them had given her a slightly instinctual behavior that left many people guessing of what her moves would be.

"I don't trust you," he growled, seeming to sputter a little bit.

"I never asked you to," she replied easily, pleased to see her mastiff wandering over to see what was wrong.

"You try anything though."

An empty threat but she took his word on it. Bowing slightly, she waved her hand for them to see the bison. The two watched her as they made their way behind the barn, the girl immediately petting him.

Appa groaned loudly and stretched, enjoying his rest. Aang fussed around him, acting no more than a maid with a dirty house. She found it amusing though and didn't stop him at all.

Smiling, she went to do her other chores as the light began to fade. Snapping, a flame flickered above her finger, floating in the palm of her hand. Lian opened the gate to the first pasture, whistling at the Wooly Goats, goats with just wool growing from their skin, that grazed happily.

Twenty heads looked up and focused on her. One bleated and the entire herd began to com down from the hill. The herd queen snorted and bleated again, rubbing her head against Lian's leg. She shooed the creature away, turning and leading them to the large pen. Swarming around her, the animals trotted to the pen while knocking into her and brushing against her leg.

After getting the beasts settled into the pen, she returned to the bison, sighing. Lian picked up her knife from the wooden box by the creature, climbing up and settling by the scab wound. The kids watched her as she slit the wound open again, Appa barely giving any protest this time. Nose wrinkling, she used her knife to scoop the nasty pus out. The bison grunted softly but didn't move as she poked him a couple of time with the tip of the blade.

Sliding down, she returned to the barn, eyes landing on the riding crop and whip hanging on the wall. She shuddered, walking past them quicker. Lian picked up her needle and a spool of thick thread, striding out of the barn quickly.

It didn't take long to sew the cut up, just mind numbing boredom. She listened to the kids' conversation as she worked, just listening. The two Water Tribe kids fought like siblings while the young Avatar tried to break it up.

She found it slightly heartwarming.

When they left sometime around eight, she felt lonely and immediately sought refuge with her old Komodo Rhino.

Tao nodded when she walked in, brown eyes smiling at her. Lian scratched her underneath her chin, pressing her body against the thick skin. The rhino stood still, letting the woman calm herself.

Lian backed up, rubbing the creature's face. "How about tonight?" she whispered softly, leaning on Tao.

She grunted and nodded her head, eyes shining as the woman left to fetch her saddle. Tao was old, nearly fourteen. But some things were more important than her age. Her human was one she understood and she was damned if she was going to let her destroy herself slowly.


There was a time when writing on the scrolls calmed her into sleep. Then she'd wake up with stains on her face but she had slept so easily then. Healing scrolls dotted the walls of her small library, most of them written by her. Other scrolls were just research she had done on several experiments.

She browsed, digging through piles to find the one she wanted. It took several minutes but she pulled out an old one, blowing off the dust that had collected. This one was a payment from an old family friend, a strange piece of information in the Fire Nation. Inside were detailed images of bison and several notes about their anatomy. Lian had finally remembered about it and skimmed through the document. Nothing new or anything about bison that she needed to know about. Sighing, she put it away and pulled out a new piece of parchment.

Sitting at her table, she scribbled with her pen, the lines forming a dragon and phoenix circling each other. Notes began to scribble on the side, her mind unconsciously writing whatever she needed to say.

Tao had behaved beautifully, outmatching any of the male rhinos she had trained by far. Her notes faded into her ride, a picture taking shape of a rhino with stubs for horns. She really never understood why but Komodo Rhinos were not designed for breeding. The horn on the nose pointed too far forward, meaning the creature had to walk perpendicular with a potential mate in order to tell if she was in heat. They depended on humans to help the breed and she had learned enough about that in her six years of being an animal healer.

Lian leaned back in her chair, relaxing slowly. Her life would be back to normal tomorrow when the stupid prince came and took his rhinos away and when the kids came back to fly to the North Pole.

Breathing in deeply, she stood up and went to curl up on her pallet, ready to sleep for a while. The animal healer lied down and started to sleep soundly.

Barking sounded.

Her eyes flew open at the sound. Never did her mutts bark unless there was an intruder on the property. Or…

Shing's howl sounded and she scrambled out of bed. Heavy knocking echoed through her almost empty house as she dragged an over shirt on and tried to calm her shaking hands. It was too early! They weren't supposed to be here until May.

She opened the door almost timidly, biting her lower lip. Lian stared up at the man's face, trying to mask her slight fear as he smirked down at her.

"Where's my rhino, wench?"

Admiral Zhao gave her a creepy smile as she swallowed audibly.