There once was an alley named Diagon

That was frequented by Harry, Hermione and Ron

Butterbeers were a galleon

Ron thought he was a "stallion"

And Voldemort was just a nerd in a dress.

The Death Eaters thought they were scary

Florean had a soft spot for Harry

Madam Malkin was crass

Minister Fudge was an ass

And Voldemort was still just a nerd in a dress.

Old Olivander sure knew his stuff

The Weasley twins were covered in marshmallow fluff

Snitches doing zig-zags

The Prophet's a rag

And Voldemort is a dead nerd in a dress.